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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Really need some encouragement (Ttc)

36 replies

Hopefulfor4 · 25/11/2022 16:48

Hi all, I'm really struggling to find hope. I've been Ttc for about 8 out or 11 months this year so far, it has resulted in a couple of chemical pregnancies (I think!) and a miscarriage at 5 weeks. Im 37 years old and just wondering wether this is impossible for me now? I have never had problems Ttc before. It's such a stressful time I just don't know why it's not happening. My bloods are normal apparently. Any advice on what I can do to improve my chances please? I don't test for ovulation but I do monitor my cm. X

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Yolo23 · 29/12/2022 00:36

Hopefulfor4 · 27/12/2022 09:48

AF arrived for me. Feeling incredibly sad. X

So sorry to hear this @Hopefulfor4 😢 hope you’re doing ok and it passes quickly for us both! Xx

Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 27/12/2022 09:48

AF arrived for me. Feeling incredibly sad. X

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Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 26/12/2022 10:11

Still a guessing game for me. Still no Af and still BFN. I'm pretty sure that even if I've was a week late that a bFp would be showing by now! 😢

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Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 24/12/2022 14:48

@Yolo23 that's a nice way to be. Have a lovely Christmas. Really hope and pray 2023 is your year. If it's still a bFn for me I'm going to focus on getting fit and healthy so I'm happier in myself. (I won't be able to try anymore due to the snip) xx

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Yolo23 · 24/12/2022 13:28

Hopefulfor4 · 24/12/2022 09:18

Still BFN for me. Im only using the easy at home tiny stops but I'm guessing they'd be showing by now anyway! Xx hate waiting for Af to show up. I can stop going to the loo to check! Ahhh! X

Hahaha me too! I done one this morning (cheaply strips) and BFN.. I’ve more brown CM so assuming AF is on its way but just being nice to me by giving me no god awful pains as its Christmas 🤣 I’ve stopped thinking about the possibilities now.. I’m going to enjoy Christmas tomorrow and will assume by then AF will be here anyway. I hope you have a wonderful weekend regardless of testing - and just remember, it’s a new year next week so positive mind set… 2023 will be our year - I can feel it! Excited to try in January xx

Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 24/12/2022 09:18

Still BFN for me. Im only using the easy at home tiny stops but I'm guessing they'd be showing by now anyway! Xx hate waiting for Af to show up. I can stop going to the loo to check! Ahhh! X

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Yolo23 · 23/12/2022 14:40

Annoyedfood · 23/12/2022 09:41

@Yolo23 after trying for three years with three loses, once the DNA fragmentation was fixed with antibiotics i know have three children. They were all conceived very quickly too. Seems madness to me that so much focus is put on the woman but it can be the man too.

Wow that’s incredible! I honestly hadn’t realised myself - particularly when they just do the basic tests for the SA. Put us through absolute hell before checking the partner properly - geeez. Thank you for sharing your experience! Hope you have a wonderful Christmas xx

Annoyedfood · 23/12/2022 09:41

@Yolo23 after trying for three years with three loses, once the DNA fragmentation was fixed with antibiotics i know have three children. They were all conceived very quickly too. Seems madness to me that so much focus is put on the woman but it can be the man too.

Yolo23 · 23/12/2022 09:13

Annoyedfood · 23/12/2022 08:16

I’m sorry you are both going through this.

I’d really recommend your partners having a sperm DNA fragmentation test. It turned out to be causing our issues despite his normal sperm tests looking fine. It can cause failed implantation, miscarriages etc.

@Annoyedfood thank you for this - I wasn’t aware of that being a possibility so always great to know. Where are you on the journey now if you don’t mind me asking? Xx

Annoyedfood · 23/12/2022 08:16

I’m sorry you are both going through this.

I’d really recommend your partners having a sperm DNA fragmentation test. It turned out to be causing our issues despite his normal sperm tests looking fine. It can cause failed implantation, miscarriages etc.

Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 23/12/2022 08:08

It's so so hard. Another BFN for me this am. It's nice to be able to chat to someone who gets it so thank you. Really hope you get your bFp today. I'm crampy again today so pretty sure Af is imminent. I dreamt I got a bFp last night! I was disappointed to wake! Xx

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Yolo23 · 23/12/2022 01:55

Hopefulfor4 · 22/12/2022 18:47

Hi! I've been working myself up today, feeling sad as I don't have any symptoms really. I felt a twinge/ pain yesterday but I do sometimes get those but I thought it could be implantation. But realistically I know it's my imagination run in my away with me. It's so hard not to think about it all day!! It's so hard because I don't truly know where I am
In my cycle. I've tested and all bfn. My boobs ache a tad at times but I get that for pmt too x

Oh bless you! I can totally relate to you today. I have been trying my best to refrain from testing and having a few random symptoms which I know are being fabricated in my mind - twinges, bloating, mood swings, boobs aching…
sorry to hear you had a BFP but it isn’t over just yet - when I tested last month, I had a negative 4 days before AF and then had the positive 2 days before AF… I’m 2 days before AF again tomorrow but we’re supposed to have a drinking games night so I’m uncertain whether to test in the morning and risk everything that happened last month… or to assume it’s going to be negative again… I guess I’ll have to test!!
as you don’t know where you’re at with your cycle, I’d try to keep positive (easier said than done I know).
hope you get a good night rest and feel a little bit better tomorrow my lovely, let me know how you are xx

Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 22/12/2022 18:47

Hi! I've been working myself up today, feeling sad as I don't have any symptoms really. I felt a twinge/ pain yesterday but I do sometimes get those but I thought it could be implantation. But realistically I know it's my imagination run in my away with me. It's so hard not to think about it all day!! It's so hard because I don't truly know where I am
In my cycle. I've tested and all bfn. My boobs ache a tad at times but I get that for pmt too x

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Yolo23 · 22/12/2022 18:33

@Hopefulfor4 how are you getting on? I don’t seem to have anywhere near the same symptoms as what I had last month with my chemical but calmly awaiting AF - due Xmas day. We will see! How’s things with you? 😊

Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 21/12/2022 05:37

I had a chemical/early miscarriage at the end of august at only five weeks. I noticed a tiny pink spot of implantation at 9dpo and chad a bFp at 12dpo. I had tingle nipples too! Not had that since xx going to symptom spotting like crazy lady over the next few days I think! X

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Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 21/12/2022 05:32

Wow you've really been through it!!! And yea that chemical although so hard is a really amazing step in the right direction. I will be keeping everting crossed for you and will be 🙏🏻.

My cycle changes as some months it's dead in four weeks which would be Friday but i defo ovulated later so thinking maybe due Christmas Day or Boxing Day I'm not really sure as my symptoms have been so confusing this month. I could literally be anything from 13dpo to 7 dpo!? Xx so maybe around 9/10 x x

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Yolo23 · 21/12/2022 00:54

Hopefulfor4 · 21/12/2022 00:23

I guess there is hope for around the time we stay then. X may I ask how long you have been trying? I honestly don't know how people do it for years and years, peoples strength amazes me! No matter how you become parents it will perfect. And all of this trauma will feel like a distant memory. I so hope and pray you get your sticky bFp soon though. I am already blessed with a beautiful family. This is secondary infertility for me due to age I think as I'm
Now 37. X

Definitely! You literally just never know.

In totality I’ve been trying for over 3 years - I was in my previous relationship for 10 years. We tried for 2 and no joy. I was convinced it was going to happen naturally and that I had endometriosis. Had a lap and it came back confirmed - had to wait for another operation as my ovary was fixed to my womb so that’s all been sorted now. The fact I had a chemical must be a good thing!

Its lovely to hear you already have an amazing family. I know it doesn’t help and still makes it incredibly difficult but it must be a small comfort. If we could just have one, I’d be over the moon. I’ve come to the conclusion prior to last month and before that I’d never be pregnant and it would never happen so gutting that the last ended as it did but atleast it manages expectations further 😊 back to being pragmatic again!

best of luck for this cycle - let me know how you get on 🥰 when are you due to test? Or when is AF due? X

Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 21/12/2022 00:23

I guess there is hope for around the time we stay then. X may I ask how long you have been trying? I honestly don't know how people do it for years and years, peoples strength amazes me! No matter how you become parents it will perfect. And all of this trauma will feel like a distant memory. I so hope and pray you get your sticky bFp soon though. I am already blessed with a beautiful family. This is secondary infertility for me due to age I think as I'm
Now 37. X

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Yolo23 · 20/12/2022 23:38

Hopefulfor4 · 20/12/2022 23:31

Sure don't! How did your opk line up with your ewcm did you notice last month? X I always thought that was when you ovulate but I think now it's just before. Who knows! This is my very very last month as my husband had the snip last week!! We just decided that my increasing age and the stress of it all was getting to much so we've drawn a very solid line ready to move on if we have to! X

For me, I had creamy discharge 3 days before ovulation officially happened. I didn’t really notice a difference with when I had egg white but normally this follows the day after which I always assumed was around ovulation time. This means we would have DTD like two days before normally but the digital confirmed I was due to ovulate later and gave me the flashing smiley, and then fixed smiley (ovulating). I’m convinced doing it the day before (flashing) and the period of ovulation was the difference to all other cycles.
Im sorry to hear you’ve had to come to that decision but if I can totally understand why you need to put a time frame on it. I’ve already mentally prepared myself that I don’t want to keep trying after the age of 33, which may seem young but mentally that’s all I can comprehend with right now. This is assuming we get a good go at IVF between now and then too - which is a reasonable assumption as I’m 31 in March. We’ll try numerous routes until age 33 (egg donors potentially etc)

If it doesn’t happen, we have spoken about adoption and I’m confident that’ll be the path we go down. I don’t think it’s healthy to be in this space forever so I totally get your reasoning. It’s a difficult decision but we’ll done for making it - keeps you in control of a challenging circumstance xx

Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 20/12/2022 23:31

Sure don't! How did your opk line up with your ewcm did you notice last month? X I always thought that was when you ovulate but I think now it's just before. Who knows! This is my very very last month as my husband had the snip last week!! We just decided that my increasing age and the stress of it all was getting to much so we've drawn a very solid line ready to move on if we have to! X

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Yolo23 · 20/12/2022 23:25

Hopefulfor4 · 20/12/2022 23:19

Aw I hope things do work out this month for you. I'm not really sure where I am
In my cycle as I don't track with Opks just ewcm and bloating. I guess I'm roughly about a week past ov as I had some Sunday and some wed!? But our sat ok dtd might not have been still been swimming by then xx

I see! everyone is different however I am convinced I only had BFP after doing digital ovulation test last month. Ewcm for me is always typical as per research and follows the guidelines in the book shall we say but it never worked out accurately in terms of my correct time of trying (I only realised when I done the clear blue digi test).. first time and had a BFP. Obviously turned chemical but it leaves a lot of the uncertainty and fate out of it in my opinion!

hopefully you get a nice BFP this month… you literally just never know!! Xx

Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 20/12/2022 23:19

Aw I hope things do work out this month for you. I'm not really sure where I am
In my cycle as I don't track with Opks just ewcm and bloating. I guess I'm roughly about a week past ov as I had some Sunday and some wed!? But our sat ok dtd might not have been still been swimming by then xx

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Yolo23 · 20/12/2022 23:10

Hopefulfor4 · 20/12/2022 20:10

Hello! Totally understand that you took some time away. I had a little bloating cd 18 but then also have a good amount of ewcm in cd 20 (the wed after the Sunday ewcm) why on earth did I have it again?? I'm a little worried as we only dtd cd 16 and 20 and missed the peak probably inbetween!!! Xx

I remember that bloating and lots of CM was a noticeable difference for me. I don’t think we’ve had a positive cycle this month as we’ve been away and I didn’t really track using digital ovulation - which was the main reason I feel, that we had a BFP last month!
I’ve not really had many symptoms only the general pinching sort of sensation/twinges which are no where near as bad as last month when I had the CM… I’m not testing this month though unless I’m late and due on Xmas day so will just let it all pan out and see what’s what! Xx

Original poster
Hopefulfor4 · 20/12/2022 20:10

Hello! Totally understand that you took some time away. I had a little bloating cd 18 but then also have a good amount of ewcm in cd 20 (the wed after the Sunday ewcm) why on earth did I have it again?? I'm a little worried as we only dtd cd 16 and 20 and missed the peak probably inbetween!!! Xx

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Yolo23 · 20/12/2022 18:05

Hopefulfor4 · 11/12/2022 12:53

Hi everyone I hope you are all keeping well, I'm having a confusing month! I had major bloating on cd11 which I not all get around ovulation but I have only just had lots of ewcm this am which is cd 17!? I'm not sure what's going on. X

Hello @Hopefulfor4 sorry for late reply! I’ve been keeping myself to myself for the past month and been away to Dominican. The signs you’ve shared sound really hopeful! When I had a positive test they were definitely signs I’d never had before. Unfortunately mine was chemical but definitely signs of pregnancy for me. Anything extra happened over the past few days? X