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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Saw the GP today...

469 replies

Got2besoon · 07/11/2022 12:10

Well after 16 months of ttc number 2 and one mmc at the start, I finally bit the bullet and saw the GP this morning.

She was lovely and she's going to order some bloods and a sperm analysis for DH. She also took a swab today (for Chlamydia I think).

I'm sad that I'm at this point and a little angry too. I thought my DS would have a sibling by now and I just want this fertility journey to be over. Definitely grateful to have DS but fearful no more will come.

Is anyone else at a similar stage in their fertility journey?

OP posts:
oliveroses · 18/11/2022 19:10

@Got2besoon I completely understand. This has been a rubbish few days for us all I think, more so than usual! And my god, the heated car seat, I hadn't even thought of that! I have already temporarily banned baths for DH and he is not hugely pleased 😂

Original poster
Got2besoon · 18/11/2022 14:45

@Anonbaby Thanks for this, that's all really interesting. I'm sorry his recent results weren't great but hopefully it's a blip.

I guess covid could be a factor for DH , I suppose we shall see at the re test.

I told him off today for using the heated car seat and we're not talking nowGrin

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Original poster
Got2besoon · 18/11/2022 09:42

Hi @Bluelightbaby 👋

It's good all is normal on tests though, hopefully it is just going to take a little longer.
I've read having had kids before makes you much more likely to conceive in your 40s so hopefully this is the case for you.

My DH is in such a bad mood this morning, presumably feeling deflated after his semen analysis results. I'm trying to discuss things to do proactively (avoid the sauna, eat better) but he has zero interest right now. I know he desperately wants DC number 2 but he's always been a "head in the sand" kind of guy and I think he's annoyed at me that we've had the tests and they've not been great. If he had it his way, we'd still be in ignorant bliss.

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Bluelightbaby · 18/11/2022 00:40

We’re similar. I’ve got two DD from a previous marriage. My partner and I have been TTC for 14cycles. All blood tests, SA and scans are clear. We’ve now been referred to a fertility specialist, although not eligible for IVF due to me already having children.

I’m 42 so time isn’t on my side :(

Anonbaby · 18/11/2022 00:21

@Got2besoon i got pregnant with my second when my partners morphology was 2% 🙋🏼‍♀️. He had it repeated after 6 weeks and it was 6% but we got pregnant between those two tests so I personally wouldn’t worry about it. It took 8 months in my early 30s with my second.

on the other hand, we’ve been trying for a third now for 18 months and his latest SA has come back with all measures below the threshold but he’s had 3 previously which have all been fine. We are waiting to repeat it.

a urologist told us that covid can impact it, also over oxidisation if taking too many supplements. I think from our experience with these things, they are super variable. hope that makes you feel a bit better x

Original poster
Got2besoon · 17/11/2022 22:36

@Keeptrying32 I hope you enjoyed that much deserved G&T. I feel like our cycles find new ways to play tricks on us each month.

Bless you, I feel the exact same about being a crap mum this week. My temper is so short, and I have no patience for DS's tantrums and mucking about. I feel really guilty after being short with him, but all we can do is try our best and tomorrow is another day x

I do think we need to be kinder to ourselves, though. This is such a difficult journey.

@Oliveroses I don't know much about it either, bar what I've googled today! I don't know if it's good or bad news to be honest. I want everything to be normal, but I suppose if something's wrong we can try to "fix" it. I think, to be honest, my brain has processed it as bad news because I cried about it in the car on the way to yoga. It just feels like that BFP is further away than ever now.

I feel like I've had enough too. It's really affecting other aspects of my life now and I want to stop for a while, but as you say, I can't. What if that one cycle is "The One".

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QueenBee22 · 17/11/2022 22:03

@oliveroses thank you and good luck on your journey x

@Got2besoon no real side affects from the clomid. Weight gain during my period but it seems to go again once that's over.

Sorry to hear about the results. Hopefully it's covid and the count will increase soon.

@Keeptrying32 I had days of spotting before my period on my first cycle of clomid and I was so hopeful. It's very tough when it doesn't work out and not easy to remain positive. Hopefully next cycle might bring better luck.

oliveroses · 17/11/2022 20:49

@Got2besoon that is rubbish though at least you don't have to wait any longer. But things can turn around, right? I confess I don't know much about this. Hope you are okay. Is it good that you now know what the issue might be or does it just feel like more bad news? I'm sorry, I hope it is just a blip.

@Keeptrying32 I also had over 24 hours of no spotting after it started and did exactly the same, I was so excited and then came crashing down yesterday. Had a cry at work today Blush I feel a bit better now. It does seem to get harder though. I am fine except for this week of AF. It is so shit. I have really had enough but I can't stop trying x

Keeptrying32 · 17/11/2022 20:22

Sorry that sounds really negative. I’ll snap out of it in a few days. Got to embrace this next cycle with hope.

Keeptrying32 · 17/11/2022 20:13

@Got2besoon sorry to hear about the results. It could be covid. My husband’s has low morphology 1% on his first sample and we’ve been advised to repeat after 3 months as that is how long spermatogenesis. We’ve got his repeat next month. The comment on his report from the lab was something like - repeat at 3 months as low morphology is often transient. Also the criteria for morphology is very very strict.

I had no further spotting Tuesday evening or yesterday so I started getting my hopes up. Knew I shouldn’t- AF showed up this afternoon (during my clinic from hell!) So after the day from hell finishing 2 and half hours late and missing bedtime, I am currently enjoying a large G and T in a very hot bath. I’m trying not to look at more fertility stuff or let myself wallow but right now feeling like I am failing at work, and as a mother and wife. Maybe this is natures way of telling me I shouldn’t have another.

Original poster
Got2besoon · 17/11/2022 19:57

Well... sperm results in. Fair play, NHS have been really speedy.

Sperm parameters are nearly all the low end of normal (5th centile for most) and low morphology (2% when it should be over 4%).

DH is remaining optimistic and blaming the results on his COVID last month. I'm not so sure.

Another obstacle :(

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Original poster
Got2besoon · 17/11/2022 15:34

@Allanxiousarentwe What a lovely post, thank you for sharing. Congratulations on your baby and I can imagine its the best thing seeing your 2 children together. I can't wait for that.

@QueenBee22 Hi there. Hopefully it is 3rd time lucky for you. I've been looking at Clomid. Have you had many side effects?

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oliveroses · 17/11/2022 14:35

@Allanxiousarentwe thank you. This made me well up. I am less worried about the age gap than my own age. I am so scared it won't happen again for me now. I feel that I need to let go and relax but it's harder every cycle.

@QueenBee22 I too am desperate to give my son a sibling, I completely understand. Good luck to all of us x

QueenBee22 · 17/11/2022 11:37

@Got2besoon

Your post really struck a chord with me. I have a three year old and we have been trying for almost 12 months to conceive a second.

My toddler isn't a very social child and could do with a sibling. I feel awful not being able to give him what he needs. I also have a fear that this is it now I am not going to have anymore children. I am very grateful to have him of course, but the guilt of not giving my child a sibling and the fear are overwhelming. I just don't see myself being pregnant again. It's devastating.

I am a little ahead of you in my journey. All bloods and sperm analysis etc are normal. My cycles are irregular so ovulation induction was recommended. I have had 2 failed rounds of clomid and half way through a third which I have no faith in working. After this round finishes, I am being sent for a hycosy in the new year if I am not pregnant by then.

Wishing you all the best in your fertility journey. It's not easy x

Keeptrying32 · 16/11/2022 21:44

@BiscuitLover3678 welcome. Not where you want to be but hopefully we can support each other navigate this tricky time.

Thank you @Allanxiousarentwe for sharing. It really does provide comfort and hope. I keep telling myself that each month we are step closer even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Allanxiousarentwe · 16/11/2022 21:04

And by the way my DC1 turned 7 when DC2 arrived. So a much bigger age gap than you ladies are looking at. But honestly having a bigger age gap is brilliant. I know it's not for everybody but the bond is incredible so don't worry about ages they will love each other no matter how old!

Allanxiousarentwe · 16/11/2022 21:01

Just wanted to say keep going and actually look at how well your doing. Your windows are so short each month but it's one step closer each time. I started TTC Baby2 when my DC1 was 4, it took 11 months but I finally fell pregnant and then miscarried at 12 weeks. I'd heard you are more fertile after a miscarriage but months past and the panic just got worse thinking it would never happen. I went to the GP who told me to relax but did send me for a scan on my ovaries they were slightly polycystic but nothing major. So a few more months passed I requested bloods my 21 day came back as 0 I hadn't ovulated. But my cycles were irregular so it was possibly the wrong day. I ordered the AMH test too because I was panicking that I was perimenopausal. I tried so many vitamins, accupunture, tracking/not tracking..relaxing and not thinking about what point of my cycle. Just over a year after my miscarriage I fell pregnant again and I've recently had my amazing 2nd child. It was the hardest journey and reading this thread bought it all back. It's so hard but do not give up hope. It will happen. I don't know what helps but all the things I tried helped me feel like I was doing all I could when I felt like I was losing hope (and my mind!) You will get your end goals.

Original poster
Got2besoon · 16/11/2022 19:34

A warm welcome @BiscuitLover3678 !

The emotional roller coaster has been the most challenging part of it all for me.

At least when I'm feeling the lowest I can tell myself I'll feel better in a few days. And in the meantime, there's chocolate and rubbish reality tvShockWine

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Keeptrying32 · 16/11/2022 19:15

@Got2besoon yes definitely aware that it can lower progesterone. Unfortunately my job is stressful and I am terrible at switching off to. I’ve got an exam in jan so that isn’t helping but I am trying to relax when I can. Also telling myself that things may improve when I’ve done the exam.

Original poster
Got2besoon · 16/11/2022 19:07

Oh gosh, some long waiting times for those sperm results ladies.

I just got my Superdrug AMH level back. It's 15.7 pmol/L which I'm quite pleased with. It's low but within the normal range for my age (I think).

The process was easy. They post the kit which arrived in 2 days. I poked my skin with the lancet and filled half a tube with some blood drops. No pain. Results online in 48 hours. Pretty good!

OP posts:
shellybon · 16/11/2022 18:10

My DH had to wait 8 weeks🙈

BiscuitLover3678 · 16/11/2022 18:08

Decaffe · 15/11/2022 15:05

I just want to point out - if you TTC for the first time on day 11, make sure DH has… emptied the pipes a few days before that.

If he hasn’t, and you’re TTCing with one- or two-week old sperm, that isn’t going to be good for morphology, DNA damage etc.

My IVF consultant says that all his embryo experience shows three day old sperm is the best quality.

3 day old is good to know!

BiscuitLover3678 · 16/11/2022 18:07

Got2besoon · 16/11/2022 13:37

@Decaffe Thanks for that, very good point.

AF arrived in full flow this am, so on to another cycle.

I've bought some B Vitamin complex and high strength vit C from Tesco.

Let's do this!

On a separate note, does anyone know how long semen analysis results take? I was hoping they'd go up on the NHS app the same day (as they obviously do the testing on the day the sample is handed in). Too optimistic?

DH was told his analysis would take 3 weeks!

Original poster
Got2besoon · 16/11/2022 18:06

@Keeptrying32 Ah, thank you for explaining that about the way they file results, that makes a lot of sense.

I can imagine your job comes with some stress. I'm terrible at "switching off" after work but I do try. I've found a lavender bath set I got for Xmas last year, so that will be put to good use this month. I've been reading about how high cortisol can lower progesterone, so I'm going to try hard to remain mellow this monthHalo

I could definitely use the company during this cycle. Who knows, we may all have some good luck!

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BiscuitLover3678 · 16/11/2022 18:06

can I join? Reaching a year TTC no 2 and had our bloods and sperm analysis last week (also just for anyone else reading - you can ask before a year or as you’re coming up to a year and they’ll do that for you!)

its so hard. Sometimes I’m fine and busy with my firstborn and trying to accomplish things in life (I’ve stopped putting things on hold for no 2 now although that’s tricky in itself as some things I’m still waiting for). Some times are bad though, like if you hear about a pregnancy and aren’t expecting to. I hate the powerlessness and not knowing.