Preparing to TTC in 2023

@JRabbitx I'm not an expert but I think that after a positive opk you have something like 24 hours? Hopefully someone more savvy can clarify!

Also yes to ovulation pain! Mine is always worse than any period cramp and it can last for hours. 😫

I think the tests detect LH surges before ovulation so you should still have a shot.

Alcohol - I'm cutting out, primarily for general health reasons though not for TTC. DH is doing dry January but will probably continue to drink after that. Neither of us drink a lot though

Morning all! Hope those back at work today aren’t feeling it too much!

quick questions!

flo seems to have gotten my ovulation date wrong, so I’m now taking tests- once I’ve got a positive test does that mean I’ve missed my chance or?

also BOOZE! Is anyone cutting out alcohol full stop? And is their DH following suit?

last one I promise! Does anyone suffer with ovulation pain? Mine kept me awake last night :(

much love and hope for 2023! JR x

Ovulation confirmed by temp for Saturday, which makes sense as I had a positive clear blue advanced ovulation test on Friday so I'm officially in the TWW 😬 I hate this part so much as I feel like we've done everything we can but at the same time I struggle accepting that the temp and test are correct and worry about missing ovulation. I've got OCD and anxiety issues which doesn't help ...

Hi all. May I join this thread too please? DH and I have been discussing the possibility of having another child for a good couple of years and I think we're finally getting there. I would be ready to TTC immediately but he's nervous and worried because we have had a tfmr in the past. I must admit I feel a bit wobbly about it too sometimes but the urge to have another child is strong!

I don't know if we will fully ditch protection this month but I'm hoping to do it soon. Weirdly AF came today and it was a week early for me. Don't know what that's about. 🙉 But we'll see how it goes. Hope you're all doing well on your TTC/preparing journeys!

Thanks for the corrections, I will sort them out when I next update the list.

We haven’t really planned the age gap rolo. For years we were one and done (hence the vasectomy) and there is no way we could have had a close age gap as DS has always been such a bad sleeper. It is only in the last year that he has started sleeping through reliably and we can consider a second.

DH has a sister 17mo younger who he fought with horrifically as a child and struggles with a bit as an adult, his brother however who is 8y younger he gets on with really well and he even lives with us at the moment while he sorts out buying his own place! So DH feels more comfortable with a bigger gap.

Financially we couldn’t have afforded two in nursery when DS was little and the big age gap will make it easier to support through university etc. I also really want to be able to give a second DC lots of 1:1 time like I have with DS so DS being in school will make that much easier.

I believe that every age gap has pros and cons and the right one will be different for every family.

i had a real wobble this morning! I am emphatically not a morning person and when my alarm went off for work (which I hate anyway), I just thought, I could not deal with having to get another person up and ready for school!

Im a night owl and have designed my life so I can WFH everyday so I normally get up at 8 and that’s a struggle (please don’t judge!).

I know when it comes to it I’ll just get on with it, but it just highlighted the hard work! OTOH, hating getting out of bed (which I’ve always hated) seems a stupid reason not to have a family.

@123ROLO we are aiming for 2 yrs gap between DD and DC#2. Mainly because I ended up having a c-section and was advised to wait at least 1yr (ideally 18 months) before TTC again.

@Notyetamother with unsolicited advice (mainly from DM and DMIL) I say thanks, I'll take it on board. Whether I do or not is another matter. Personally I don't care . It might help that I'm mid 36. I've been building my career and met and married DH later ... people have been giving opinions for a while so now I just ignore

@Sallythesloth3 I too exclusively breastfeed (now dd is also on solids ). I hadn't heard about pregnancy causing supply dips. I had heard about boobing potentially causing higher miscarriage rates due to hormones and menstruation causing dips but thankfully my period's returned like clockwork with no change in supply. I'll likely introduce cows milk for daytime feeding when DD starts nursery (plus I return to work) and limit boob to morning and bedtime which should hopefully help. It's a minefield! I'm also on a TTC when breastfeeding thread so reading all those women's comments

@Hopingforno2in2023 @DanisEndo please would you change my TTC date to April. Not starting until dd is 1yo

Thank for understanding 😂
Yeah I think I'm going to struggle with not people pleasing, but I'm sure my feisty motherly instincts will kick in and I'll do what I think is right not what everyone else does! Good way of putting it though!

that should say out of nappies no pour of nappies!

@123ROLO so my motivation for my ideal age gap (2.5-3.5years) is that they would be close enough to get on well and enjoy the same things but not so close that the early years are really tough. Ideally I would like DS to be pour of nappies before having another but that’s not a deal breaker, I would like to get some decent sleep before having another, I would also not like to get so far out the baby stage that I don’t want to go back. Pregnancy can also sometimes cause milk supply to dip and I wouldn’t want DS to stop breastfeeding much earlier than 2 years old as per WHO recommendations (I know this isn’t feasible for many but after 16 months I would like to try and make it to 2).

I guess it depends on what your baby is like as well, DS still wakes up at least twice a night at 16 months. I have friends with similar aged babies who are already pregnant/nearly due and they have generally had good sleepers from early on. DS is a also very high energy little boy and I genuinely think I wouldn’t manage any smaller than a 2 year gap!

@Notyetamother
Yes I think people don't know what to say so things come out wrong its hard to hear when your feeling fragile but I am feeling a bit better now
You do get used to unsolicited advice my son has additional needs and wow the comments I've learned to just say thanks for your opinion but I'm going with this 👌

This app takes a bit getting used too lol x

Sorry my last message was for @Mumof1hopingfor2nd
I'm not very good with this app yet,do excuse me

@Ella31 regarding my last message, that's even more thoughtless! I think when it comes to loss though people don't know what to say, I'm sure they don't mean it to be hurtful! I'm sure no one does when they're talking about babies etc when no one asked for their input,still sucks all the same. Sorry for your loss. Hugs xxx

Congrats @marleyandme !!!! Happy for you!! Wishing you all the luck!

I have a question for you all girls! Anyone who is on #2, how do you deal with all of the unsolicited advice and negativity from people??
We've only just started trying, and already it annoys me how negative and opinionated people can be, I can only imagine how much it will bug me when I have a baby and they think they can tell me how to raise them. Don't get me wrong I'm happy to have help, but I just can't stand thoughtless comments!

Can I ask what people's motivation for their chosen age gaps are ?

Probably a bit ahead of ourselves as most of us are still only starting baby #1. But I'm guessing we all think ahead to an extent 😃

Obviously I know its not always as simple as 'choosing' as you don't know what life throws at you, put I'm just curious the reasoning behind the chosen ideal.

My friends thought I was weird for mine.

I want a very small age gap, as in once my first is about 6 months I hope to be able to ttc again. Where as my friends seem to want to wait till they are 2/3 before trying for a second. (If they choose to).

My reason being

Me and my sister only have an 18 month age gap and we played so well together and as the age difference wasn't that significant we could share toys, and all activities and things we did were age / stage appropriate for both of us.

The other reason is more me centered, I know the early years are going to restrict my life in a lot of ways, they will be stressful with nursery pick ups, sleepless nights etc. I'd rather it all done in one quick chunk rather than spread over many years.

There's definitely no right or wrong I'm just curious what people's thought processes are

Hi all,

I’ve not read the full thread but wondered if I could join?

We have 1 DS already who is 16months, my DH’s ideal age gap is 2-3years and my ideal age gap is 2.5-3.5yrs so DH would like to start trying now and I would like to start trying in June.

Our compromise (not really a compromise as we are both happy whatever happens!) is that I get my coil removed as soon as possible and then let my fertility return to normal and see what happens, if no pregnancy by June we will start ‘properly’ trying.

I will probably start tracking ovulation just to get an idea of things but we will just have sex when we feel like it rather than worrying about timing it right initially.

I am breastfeeding DS so expecting that to maybe mean conceiving takes a little longer.

Age: 29

TTC no: 2

Not trying but not preventing: as soon as I get an appointment to remove my coil

Officially trying: June 2023

@Ella31 I had a loss in November and its unreal how many people have said the most insensitive things like
well least you got pregnant
it wasn't meant to be
at least it was early
Be grateful younhave a child already
their must of been something wrong with it
It's infuriating we planned to announce our pregnancy at Xmas so it's been a tough couple of weeks hence holding off TTC
I am truly sorry for your loss their is no rhyme nor reason for it I'm praying for you to get your rainbow baby soon ❤️

@Hopingforno2in2023 I am taking the folic acid additionally yeh 😊

@Ella31 sorry for your loss, it must be so difficult. Sending you a virtual hug and hope you get your rainbow very soon 🌈 x

Thanks so much for your kind words @TRFran . I'm so sorry to hear about your two losses, 1 is bad enough but the thought of 2 is heartbreaking. So glad you were successful with your son though.

@Hopingforno2in2023 great advice I will get looking at buying some so I can get started!

@CatLadyH that’s good to hear that you have had not many symptoms coming off! I hope you have a smooth TTC 🤞

@Ella31 I’m so sorry to hear about your MC.

sending lots of positive vibes and baby dust to all you wonderful ladies ❤️

@Ella31 I’m so sorry to hear about your MC and that others have been insensitive. We had 2 MCs before conceiving our son and - like you - experienced a lot of the “at least you know you can get pregnant” comments.
I hope you get your rainbow soon 🌈 Sending lots of baby dust xx

@Newchapter23 it’s been absolutely fine for me, not had any side effects. Apart from taking conception vitamins I’m just going to cut out alcohol/caffeine after honeymoon and stay as active as possible and try and eat as healthily as possible!

@Ella31 sorry to hear about your MC and though time. Sending hugs. This thread and others I’ve read seems to be supportive community. 💕🌈

Thanks @Hopingforno2in2023 sadly I'm 38 not 33

Thanks for including me. I'm trying for my rainbow baby. Had a miscarriage in August. Conceived during my honeymoon but lost them at 7 weeks. Didn't start trying again until November. No luck since. So this month will be cycle number 3.

I'm doing ok emotionally but finding the disappointment at the end of each month very hard. Plus people aren't so sympathetic anymore regarding my mc....being bombarded with baby pics on whatsapp and announcements on family groups everyday, was told I was lucky I can get pregnant last week. And tbh all I can do is hold back the tears as I think of how I should be 6 months this week.

Hopefully the new year will bring change.