TTC after miscarriage thread 12 🌈✨💛💕

@lovenaps I felt so sad reading your post. Baby loss and repeated miscarriage is so hard. Grief is hard. Life is hard and shit sometimes and awful things happen to good people.
As time goes on I think you kind of learn a kind of resilience. I know I have an I’ve been through an awful lot on the past 4 years. But I am strong and wiser for it. But so over grief.

you have to think. Adult life can be a bit like when your a kid and bouncing on a trampoline and you fall down an they carry on bouncing and you can’t seem to get back up.
but you must. You will be knocked down in life. Numerous time. But you have to think. Am I going to let life win. Nope. And you get back up and you try again. I think that want for a child drives you. But equally we all have those days when you wanna give up and express it as you have. It’s a fine balance.
i am almost certain you are stronger than you give yourself credit. 💖

@calimc83 No not yet, I have my dating scan tomorrow. 🙈🙈
It’s felt like such a long wait. And I just don’t know how I’ll fall at this last hurdle if anything was bad news. But trying to think positive mindset because otherwise I shall drive myself insane.
i have to work all day tomorrow as well 😩 until we both leave off early to go to scram as it’s late afternoon. So will I be concentrating at work. ABSOLUTELY not. Be in pure panic mode I expect.

@lovenaps how are u feeling this morning? I hope u are ok. Loss is sooo hard..I think it's only just hitting my OH now. He's been signed off with stress and I'm sure it's fine to our previous losses. I feel I processed it at the time but I think he sort of brushed it aside and it's now hitting him. Have u had any tests done at all? I found improving my diet and taking supplements helped me, in that I was taking some form of control over my fertility as when u have suffered loss and are TTC everything can seem out of control. @RaliaMusca I was so sorry to hear about the bleeding. Has it completely stopped now? What a worrying time. @Luna57 how are u holding up? @bunnykins123 how are u doing?? I hope u are ok 💕 @Indianna2006 did u have a scan this week or have I totally made that up 🙈 @FfayeN @theblueflowers how are u getting on ladies? Hope all is well xx

@lovenaps So sorry you're feeling so down :( I hope you and your husband get to a better place soon x

@RaliaMusca I hope the bleeding has stopped for good this time!

@mummatara It's great news that your HCG seems to be going down. I remember mine took forever. It was high for ages and then one day the test was just blank. It's like it nose dived.

@bunnykins123 thank you so much ❤. I swear I wasn't built for a life on this planet.. Other people seem to be so much stronger at coping with things.

@lovenaps oh hun, this is not your fault. Life will throw obstacles at you, one of the ones we are all dealing with here is sadly miscarriage and that's a hard route to navigate. It's completely normal for tensions to get high under those circumstances but that doesn't mean that he in anyway would want to be with anyone else. You have to believe in yourself, he is lucky to have you. It will happen. Big hugs from me, you're not alone 💕

One of the worst evenings... :(
Fell out with DH over something (and he is very angry with me) that was an indirect result of our losses. Our lives will never be the same because of m/c, I am not sure we will ever manage to have children... I am just sobbing... I don't have any energy left to keep going but I can't imagine a life without kids either.. 😪I feel bad for DH that he is stuck with me, he deserved someone better because I will never be happy again. It is too hard to handle 😭😭

@FfayeN it's a hcg test I bought it to find out if my level was increasing or decreasing but then MC was confirmed so never used the second one

Sorry that first sentence got muddled up. I meant to say "thank you all for simply being here" lol

The cramps have stopped again for simply being here. It's such a great comfort to have you just ride these crazy waves alongside.
The bleeding has gotten significantly less,.no clots passed, and the cramps have stopped. It's exactly like a week ago after which everything was still totally fine so I haven't lost hope altogether. I'll ring the EPU on Monday to ask for an earlier scan. Sooooo stressful, FFS!! 🙈

Hey lovelies my bleeding has for definite stopped my test is still a strong positive though not a dye stealer like last week so level must be heading down 👍🏼 I'm still going to ring EPU early next week and see if they will just check all is gone. We DTD last night and will probably just aim for every few days if anything happens great if not then I won't get too flustered about it as there's no way of knowing if I'll even O or not. I have a already purchased medichecks blood test that I only have about 45 days to use now. I'm thinking I might just to do it next week see where we're at as the hospital have said they will monitor my bloods from a BFP next time and I don't want the test to go to waste 🤔

@RaliaMusca oh no!!! What are you thinking? I really do feel for you because you just want a definite answer on what’s happening. I think it’s worse when you’ve had a scan too because you’ve seen a little fetal pole in the shape of a little baby and you just want everything to be ok.

@HalWin2221 aww lovely news on the wedding! I was 11 weeks pregnant on my wedding day. We only had 25 guests because it was during lockdown. That’s when we told our guests which was close family and friends that we were expecting our ds.

@ChickenT2b I was not tracking my ovulation with the first pregnancy but it would have been around day 11-12 DPO when I got the first positive. It was negative at what would have been around 9-10 DPO. I was using easy at home sticks.
Also...a few days before the positive test I had implantation spotting and the test was still negative at that point. Ironically, I tested positive early with the second pregnancy but that one lasted a lot shorter... So I would not be disheartened about the fact it is currently negative ❤
@RaliaMusca I am so so sorry. Sending you biggest of hugs and hoping everything is going to be okay. It must be so hard to be going to hen do but you are so STRONG x ❤
@Luna57 Glad to hear you are coping well, I am good, thanks x❤

@ChickenT2b i am 8dpo. But my cheapie was negative. I think FRER are just so sensitive aren’t they! Don’t lose hope, there is definitely still chance! Are you going to test in the morning?

@HalWin2221 are you 8 or 9 dpo today then? My first response have just arrived so will test again tomorrow. Feeling gutted already to be honest 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Anyone get a 9dpo negative and then positive? 😕 I thought I felt implantation twinges at 6/7 dpo. Could be anything I guess!

@Luna57 I’m so nervous! This is our last try for 8-9 months as we get married on august. But I’m going to try and stay positive(LITERALLY!)

@ChickenT2b thanks lovely! I did a cheapie yesterday and it was completely negative. Are you going to test tomorrow? Keeping everything crossed for you! I’m going to try and hold off for a couple of days, but we’ll see how well that goes 😂

@RaliaMusca i know you won’t be, but I hope you’re ok. Is there anyone you can talk to at the hen weekend?

Just stopped at the services, had abdominal pain whilst driving. Went to the loo and had a big gush of blood. Feels the same as with my last bleed but I'm obviously preparing for the worst. I'm due to arrive at a hen weekend this afternoon, not sure how I'll cope.

@HalWin2221 eek fingers crossed for you! I always try to double check the first response ones before testing as I have seen faint lines even before testing 🤦🏼‍♀️ But that does look darker. I also caved 🙈got a stark white but only with a cheapie so maybe a bit early at 9dpo. First response arrives today.
Will you test again tomorrow? X

I decided to leave it and just wait and see what happens. I'm annoyed it's late. I just want to start the next cycle now 🙄

@lovenaps i feel surprisingly ok considering what’s happening, especially during baby loss awareness week… how ironic. Hope you’re ok also?

@EsmeSusanOgg how are you doing? x

@HalWin2221 that is such good news ❤x
Very happy for all three girls!

And sending hugs to those struggling right now - your time will come. Please keep believing it! One day we will all be celebrating your positive tests here!
@Luna57 how are you holding up? x

@HalWin2221 oh I def see a line!!! How do you feel? If you’ve another one even try tonight or tomorrow morning there might be more hcg then for a definitive line. Fingers crossed!

@FfayeN hopefully the sign of a good progressing pregnancy. Lots of hcg maybe lots of sickness 😬. I hope you’ve lots of symptoms (as much as they’re awful at the time) but you’ll always feel at ease with a squeeze of the boob 😂

@RaliaMusca i always worried about my lack of symptoms too but it might be a thing with subsequent pregnancies. Sure you hear of people going 6 months without realising they’re pregnant because they’ve no symptoms. I’m totally with you and motorways as well. I can get to 2 places in Belfast and ask me to drive anywhere else and I’ll cry 😂

@bunnykins123 Yeah I had O pains and a temp dip then spike at the same time which FF confirmed as ovulation. I guess it's probably just a blip.