TTC baby 1

@Bananatoast123 did you end up turning off notifications?! I’m now counting down the days until my holiday… you must be too?
Still waiting on DH sperm analysis results which is a bit frustrating! Especially since I know the dr surgery has the results back but they haven’t reviewed them. Starting to lose patience with them haha!

@UserL95 it is so hard! You’re happy for them but at the same time you’re like why not me! My mind has definitely switched back today and I’m back on setting personal goals outside of TTC to try focus on other stuff, like you are with being selfish etc and enjoying this present moment!

All my notifications are off but it’s just going on the app and tracking ovulation! Even if I don’t OPK test I know my CM pattern now it’s sooo hard not to like know etc! I think this is what makes it harder!

okay so yes all makes sense! And I have had these literal thoughts too! We’ve never had a BFP too and I’ve genuinely said to my mum “I wouldn’t wish a miscarriage on anyone or myself but at least I’d know we can get pregnant” - it’s really scary being an year in and I don’t even know if the egg and sperm can meet?? We will definitely be going for testing after the next cycle. Will wait until after the holiday and the outcome of that! I think we are both fine but it’s making me wonder if something if stopping them meet like blockages or low sperm etc

@Bananatoast123 I remember a similar situation too, it’s so hard when people around you fall pregnant, but try to trust that your time will come too. That can feel so hard, but focus on being the best version of you possible! That’s what I’m doing now… being more selfish with my time, trying to slow down, and do things for me. That won’t make these convos easier, and it’s okay for you to shut it down! Your feelings are valid too.

I defo recommend turning ALL app notifications off. I’ve been tracking my period since long before TTC but I turned my app notifications off 2/3 months ago and that was really helpful too.

slowly but surely.

I think what worries me the most is that I’ve never had a positive test, ever. That makes me wonder think I can’t get pregnant. It would be horrible to experience a miscarriage and I definitely don’t wish for that either! But sometimes I wonder if it would feel a little better knowing that at least I can get pregnant! Don’t know if I’m making sense?

Hey @UserL95 I hope you’re feeling better? AF came today! Quite frankly give up! Feel so hopeless now! I need to find some positivity! 🫣 Found out my OH cousin is pregnant too and that hit me like a brick the day AF came. SIL text me like “hope it’s a girl” and I just had to shut the convo down. I try to be happy for them but it’s hard.

holiday sounds lovely for you! Sounds like you need it and it’ll be super relaxing!! it’ll definitely help in the TWW!

OH has been really supportive, he’s trying to keep me hopeful and positive. I ovulated whilst we are away so maybe it’ll set us up right!

I’m tempted to delete my app tracker for a month now too and just enjoy the holiday

Hey @Bananatoast123 how are you?

I’ve been poorly the past few days so TTC was finally not on my mind! Still waiting on sperm analysis results at the moment.
going on holiday soon, just doing a week away in the sun. Will b after I’ve ovulated though so I’m hoping it will be a relaxed TWW and not too much stress waiting!

@UserL95 I think I’m out this month, just feel like I have the onset of AF!

@UserL95 its the worst when you convince yourself it’s your month ☹️ sorry AF came! It’s totally rubbish and look after yourself! Yes it could be why! This month I’m longer and I’ve been taking it for like 8 weeks nearly! It does say to try it for 10 weeks so you could just be having a shorter cycle because of your longer one last month?

Fingers crossed for cycle 14 for you! I want to have hope for us ❤️ we will get there.

I’m around 9dpo. I had weird pain during the night, low down near period pain level. I was fast asleep though and it was painful enough to make me feel it, and I remember it being unusual BUT also could’ve just been dreaming that part!! Not really much since, the odd tingle but I always think it could just be wind or my bladder! So I’m expecting AF to come, seems too good to be true to think it’s something more!

@Bananatoast123 i think my period arrived over night :( I had really hoped that yesterdays spotting may have been implantation but I know that was silly to hope for! So that means this cycle was only 26 days which is my shortest ever (in years!). I also think I ovulated earlier this cycle though and it’s the first cycle I was taking inositol regularly so maybe that impacted? Not sure. Either way this was cycle 13 for us and it failed again. On to 14!

im very crampy today which sucks. Going to try and have a lazy Sunday I think.

how are you?

@UserL95 I know what you mean!! I’m hoping I half forget it is the fertile window! I sometimes wish ovulation wasn’t so obvious like with EWCM!!

that’s good! Taking each day as it comes! I’ve just ordered a daily gratitude journal as hoping it’ll help me focus on the present day rather than always the future! are you still manifesting?

yeah it’s hard isn’t it! The odd friend knows with me but I don’t bring it up often as I try to like show I’m not bothered or I am positive! Silly really!

love that! Let me know how it goes! This is us with acupuncture… willing to try anything now 😂😂 we start that the week after holiday so I’m definitely too hopeful it’ll help implantation 🤪

@Bananatoast123 well in that case you’ll have a bit of time away from everyday stress during your next fertile period which is cool!! But don’t let that fact add even more stress if that makes sense 🙈
nothing coming up to look forward to just yet for me, but still trying to stay positive regardless and be in good routines?

I’ve been talking to a friend but haven’t discussed much with family. I downplay things a lot so they don’t worry, it’s a good and a bad thing all together I guess…

I’ve just ordered a new multivitamin called proxeed- apparently it’s recommended to people before they start assisted fertility procedures? At this point I’m willing to try almost anything!

@UserL95 please don’t ever feel like you’re bringing negativity onto me! If anything, it makes me feel not alone!

that’s good you might find out next week! It seems to have taken forever!? Yeah my vitamins have definitely been on/off 😂 I don’t know how much they do anymore to be honest!! Sounds like you’ve got yourself into a routine!

yeah it does definitely help! I always try to keep the positivity to my OH but my mum is really good at listening to how I feel! Yeah we are 🥳 a week and a half away! So if AF comes on Thursday, our fertile window should start and end whilst we are away / off work! Have you got much to look forward to?

@Bananatoast123 i keep dipping in and out of forums if I’m honest! And didn’t want to bring my negativity to you!!

my dh should get his sperm analysis results next week some time hopefully. I had about 2 weeks where I didn’t take any vitamins etc because I CBFA - was all just feeling pointless and like a waste of time. We have both joined a gym again tho and been going regularly since which has been a nice distraction.

I think it’s good you had a cry. Expressing emotions is much better than keeping them in. You are off on holiday soon right??

@UserL95 ahhh so we have sync’d our cycles now! I definitely ovulated later this month but not 100% what day too, just noticed EWCM for longer! Tbh I’m not expecting it to happen, there’s no difference to any other month!

have you got all your test results back? I really hope this is your month - I do keep wondering how you’re doing. I just know how this all feels, it really really sucks doesn’t it!

I’m okay. I did have a cry earlier about how stagnant I feel. Just all my friends are getting engaged or due to give birth and just feels like we’re a bit stuck. I keep telling myself not to wish away time too as one day I’ll look back and wish I enjoyed this phase. I’m close to going to therapy, just to see if I can reset my thinking.

@Bananatoast123 im somewhere between 8-11dpo, no longer tracking ovulation! Also had a strange cycle last month which was 35 days which was odd… AF due on Wednesday coming, so around 4 days to go! Not symptom watching or anything, tried to be super chill this month and didn’t plan BD or anything either. I have experienced some spotting (bright pink) which is strange but also the second time I’ve had this. When this happened a few cycles ago AF came soon after; so trying not to read too much into it.

How do you feel about the 1 year mark coming up? And how is your mental health and well being at this time?

Hey @UserL95! Still here! 8dpo! Last cycle before we officially hit 1 year of trying! No signs either way today! How about you? How’s it going your end? X

Hey @Bananatoast123 how are you doing? Hope you are well x

@UserL95 have you tried acupuncture? My OH started looking into it and we’ve booked in to try it, it’s definitely given me another boost of hope! I spoke with the lady and she said that often she sees woman who on the surface are all normal but it’s other areas of their body that need attention I.e kidneys etc! She also said how men often double their count from going after a month! We’ve booked in and have decided to put off going to the gp/private until after our course of treatment! She can’t see us until mid March after our holiday but I’m feeling optimistic again! Also if she manages to make me feel like generally better I’m happy!!

have you ever considered this too?? I think it really helps if both go… I know Chinese medicine isn’t for everyone, but we thought it would do no harm!

@Bananatoast123 sorry AF came again. That really really sucks! Same here, just trying to be healthy as possible! Losing hope with the vitamins a little so I’m not as consistent as I first was if I’m honest. Focusing on being outdoors more and enjoying the fresh air I think. As well as more fruit. I’m starting to feel at a loss as to what else to try

@UserL95 AF came at 14dpo so that’s me out again! It’s frustrating when we are so far along and there’s no explanation!

I’m going to continue with my healthier lifestyle food and exercise wise, and continue the supplements! We’ve agreed April we will go private for tests / see if we need help!

@UserL95 its okay don’t apologise! I’m sad for you as that sounds like a really hard month! Especially 34 days! Maybe try inositol next month? You might find it helpful!

I’m 12/13 dpo… going off 12dpo as AF usually starts on 13dpo and don’t want to get overly ambitious that there might be hope.

Not sure which way it’ll swing. Had some signs like weird metallic taste at times yesterday, boobs are sore (nothing unusual there) but started underneath / inside rather than armpits al though now it is everywhere and I’ve slept SO poorly since ovulation. But this all could just be progesterone! I basically convinced myself this was the month yesterday so I’m trying to bring myself down as I know I’ll only get disappointed!

I think my AF cramps are starting now but if no AF by Thursday I’ll test!

I do feel slightly like deflated if it doesn’t, next cycle is last month before it’s a year and I just can’t get why it’s not happening!

@Bananatoast123 sorry it took me some days to get back to you. Still waiting on the sperm analysis which is annoying.
my cycle was 34 days long this month, AF was 3 days late! So frustrating.
how are you doing?

@UserL95 could you have ovulated later this month? I’m gutted for you but you’re not out until AF shows! Maybe it’s just delaying to get ready for your magical cycle where it’s all going to happen! Did your DH’s sperm test come back ok?

I’m around 10dpo, still no signs either way! My boobs are tender - but they usually are! If anything they’re tender on the inside rather than armpit side but not sure if that’s even a thing! If I’m honest I’m expecting AF which isn’t really manifesting of me 😂 but nevermind! I think you just know don’t you!

@Bananatoast123 CD32 and AF still hasn’t arrived!! Cervix seems quite low down and still testing negative. So annoying that my cycle is being awkward with me. I am treating myself to lots of tv time and snacks. Hehe.

Any updates on your side?

@UserL95 ah I’m gutted for you! A longer cycle is so teasing too! This happens to me too occasionally - always find I have a glint of hope and it makes it worse! Maybe give it a few more days? But take care of yourself!

yessss!! I feel like your AF might’ve landed on payday weekend so treat yourself!!

I’m 8/9dpo today! I’m sooo emotional like crying at the tv when I don’t usually, and I feel like my anxiety is sky high which doesn’t normally happen at this point of my cycle but I’m not sure if it’s a sign! I’ve had so many signs in past cycles and it’s turned out as a BFN so not putting anything on it! I’m going to wait until next Wednesday to test though!

@Bananatoast123 sorry I’ve been quite the past few days wallowing in self pity! I’m on CD31 (which is slightly longer than usual for me) with no hint of AF yet but repetitively negative tests since CD27 which is annoying. I have had 31 day cycles in the past (every few months) so let’s see if AF arrives over the weekend. Since people
get their positives from 9DPO I think I’m probably out anyways.

I plan to eat wholesome foods, drink lots and lots of squash, have chocolate, and treat myself to maybe a new outfit!

how are you doing?