Fertility Appointments and Beyond: Electric Boogaloo

@Kay00 thanks! both my clinics have been annoying but maybe my expectations are too high. I really just want a nice, compassionate doctor. I’ve spent 4 years in this process and have met one doctor I truly wanted to use and she retired immediately after the first meeting with her and the rest have pissed me off all the way through this. I feel like a lot of the good reviews of these places come from people who it worked for. Suddenly all the ivf clinic stress melts away because they have new baby worries and they’re just grateful to get over that hurdle.

I hope we do too 🙏. I certainly don’t feel like I’m desperate to do this all again if it goes to shit though. We can’t afford to either, not really sure what we want but the vision I had of a very small family of three is increasingly distant and more often I’m thinking about what we can do as just the two of us.

@JeanieJ yeah ok. 18 were there yesterday but a few will likely be lost to being too big or small. Did the double trigger last night and today I’m packing a bag and remembering how much I don’t want to do any of this again. My clinic is a pain in the arse, I end up in there all bloody day long and the embryologists have said two different things about same collection from dh (timings wise) so right now I’m thoroughly done with it all.

Not sure how much more of this I want to do tbh. Part of me is just tempted to get on with childfree life before we die because this really isn’t a way to live.

@Kay00 yes! I came out just so relieved. It’s such a shitty process as it is without even more stuff you didn’t predict going wrong.

@Kay00 good! I was so relieved. 16 follicles so far between about 8 and 15mm but a few are under 10 so not sure what what will happen to them. It could go up or down but it’s not one follicle, and it’s working. Happy I don’t have to have cancellation conversations with them. Got another scan on Friday and another on Monday which seems like a lot of scans.

@JeanieJ fingers crossed the next scan is as good!

@JeanieJ not entirely sure, she said they’ll tell me more on Friday and just booked me in for another scan at 9 on Monday. I’ve got Tuesday booked off so I’m sort of hoping it’s Wednesday, rather than have to sort my holiday because I’ll likely have to go off sick. I seem to react to the anaesthetic after EC and end up off work for up to a week with bad breathing issues, it aggravates my asthma.

Ok panic averted! I have had the scan and there’s 16 growing, 11 on the left and 5 on the right. Some are under 10mm (maybe 3 or 4) but there’s still two more scans to go on Friday and Monday. What a way to spend my Easter!

I’m relieved, I was getting in such a flap about having to pay more if it didn’t work. I’m so pleased the 225 gonal F has worked so far, hopefully the double trigger will help mature them too.

@Kay00 no, it’s a pre-paid Access cycle. I’m hoping if I cancel after a (presumably) bad scan tomorrow, I can just be invoiced for the scans and bloods and then transfer the package over to next month with a new protocol? I don’t want to pay for another scan and trigger injection meds just to cancel on Friday after that scan + travel into SW London costs iykwim.

@JeanieJ theyve both been pretty similar for me with a few weird exceptions, but I’m generally annoyed by the attitude of all the doctors I’ve encountered throughout the last 4 years. I just want one that listens and is sympathetic at what is a very hard time.

@Kay00 its just so hard to get your head around how it works for [waves hands] all of them! I know going into this everyone was very optimistic for us but here we are still, slowly losing the will to live. It’s incredibly unfair bs.

I really do not want this scan tomorrow. If the doctor wants me to go on Friday even though there’s nothing growing I’m going to lose it.

@Kay00 tbh I just want to can it now. I’ll go to the scan tomorrow, but if it’s still very small numbers I feel like I want to cut my losses and abandon. If I go to a scan on Friday that’s another scan fee to pay and maybe bloods. My body is very ready to ovulate that one egg out, I had to start fyremadel yesterday. I can only assume that because I respond quickly, that lower dose somehow works better for me. At least in hope so.

@JeanieJ it’s such bullshit. Feels like the universe is once again telling me not to have kids. It’s not for me 🫠

@JeanieJ yeah, I tend to have lots of follicles but only a percentage of them seem to grow. They said need to go to Wednesday and Friday scans and then can abandon if it's not looking good. I'm just very fucked off, we can never catch a break.

Protein thing is there's research that says 60g of protein a day can produce better eggs and obviously some of us need the help! Low carb thing is optional, I guess, for me it's about keeping weight off right now. Still eating carbs but smaller portions.