Page 5 | Fertility Appointments and Beyond: Electric Boogaloo

thislittlebird · 2022-08-20T12:54:28+00:00

Hit capacity on the old thread, will tag you in!

Original poster

thislittlebird · 27/06/2023 08:57

And yeah, sometimes child free looks fine, I wish I knew more people who had no kids. Other times it just feels like I’ve won the booby prize. I’m sure in time I’d be able to accept it and move on but I can’t shake the feeling that things like watching younger family members have children in the next decade, as we get older and remain childless, will be hard.

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Original poster

thislittlebird · 27/06/2023 08:52

@Alsobeyondshit

I’m sorry to hear your update, I hope you’re ok but it never gets much easier, just more predictable each time. When will the PGT-A be back?

I totally get what you’re saying, I don’t know how people get to that point. For us, it’s just been a slow realisation that this isn’t working for us in the way it does for others. I know at our age there’s fewer normal embryos to be found, so it can be hard, but just feels unfair when it definitely works for others this age.

More like a lull in treatment. I think we’ve sort of decided to do two back to back (ish) egg collections and then we’re done, because of my age we thought this would be the most sensible time-wise. We can’t afford them, we’ll have to borrow some money for the first time. Well, we can afford them if we have a year or two to save but we don’t have that time really so I think the plan will be borrow and pay back and then move on, poorer and sadder.

So transfer these two, if they both fail then in theory we’ll do two more egg collections and transfer whatever we get from there. Probably transfer 1 fresh and then test the excess again. It’s hard even saying it because although that’s not yet, it’s hard to draw a line under all this and accept it won’t possibly work. Firstly I have to be fit and well enough to do two more collections, so we’ll see if I’m feeling like it all if these last two fail.

When it’s been this hard to conceive, to even cross the first hurdle, it’s hard to believe you could ever get a pregnancy to term anyway. So many more hurdles to overcome. What other women do so easily without even thinking about it, I can’t even comprehend being possible for me.

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Alsobeyondshit · 26/06/2023 21:41

Hi @ththislittlebird. August is pretty close now!!
Do you mean a lull with your job?

We did have a transfer and it failed. I started bleeding today. Still waiting on the PGT-A tested frozen embryo we have for a transfer but I'm not holding out much hope tbh.

Just thinking things through at the moment. Wondering if this is something I/we want to do again. And can afford to frankly.

A childfree life doesn't always look so bad and one with kids often looks terrible... Currently doing a bit of self care, thinking about going away for a few days. Looking to read up on others experiences - like, how did people decide to stop IVF and just be ok with what they have? Was it a trigger?

Original poster

thislittlebird · 26/06/2023 17:22

@Alsobeyondshit hope you’re doing ok, I think you had your transfer from reading up

@Kay00 how long until your next cycle now?

I have been on MN much because there’s just nothing happening here. Other than the same old thoughts about leaving my job and then not doing it because I don’t want to restart my benefits. It’s a shame, we’re planning a transfer in august so I don’t think there’s much point looking around that time. Maybe if we have a natural lull, as we often do.

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Kay00 · 14/06/2023 23:52

Yey!! You have an embie on board 🙌 I really hope this is the one for you xx

I'm sticking with the same clinic, and my regime is similar (slightly more drugs planned this time, with more progesterone support after egg collection and post egg transfer... Because in my last cycle I started bleeding 3dp5dt 😣), my big difference this time is that I've had the ovarian drilling. We're trying to improve my egg quality... My goal is two good blasts so I can finally have something to freeze ❤️

I'm so pleased for you and your results xx

Alsobeyondshit · 14/06/2023 19:28

@kay00 went with one! Other one off for testing and fingers crossed for the second third one.

Good luck with your next cycle! I can't remember if you're trying something new/moving clinics?

Kay00 · 14/06/2023 14:39

Eek!! Good luck in your transfer today 😄

Excellent results 👏 I'd be super chuffed. It's so hard to decide whether to transfer one or two, but my OH is always quite adamant that he doesn't want to risk twins, so we've only ever transferred one so far (we always get one good quality blast, and one rubbish one lol).

I had my meds delivered today ready for my IVF cycle starting at the end of this month... It's all starting up again for me!

Alsobeyondshit · 14/06/2023 10:41

@kay00 So fresh transfer for me today! Of the 7 fertilised eggs, 4 haven't really progressed since day 3 although they seem to want to give them more time.

There are two top quality blasts and one getting there - might turn tomorrow fingers crossed.

I THINK we'll transfer one, and PGT-A test two. But maybe we should transfer two? DP definitely doesn't want to do two... Argh decisions decisions.

They could all be crap couldn't they.

Kay00 · 10/06/2023 22:43

@Alsobeyondshit yeah, that's a super difficult decision. And it's so much money 🥴 but that's a bloody great egg collection! Well done!! Please keep us updated with your day 3 and 5 results 🤞 I wonder if the growth hormone helped, I have heard such good things!

@thislittlebird yes, it's hard to wait isn't it. But I'm glad I've waited until July for my next round rather than squeezing one in before my Ovarian Drilling operation. I feel more chilled and mentally ready to go through it all this time x

And yes, lol, on both my previous rounds they gave me a 'final scan' date and if everything is looking good egg collection is two days after. I'm a huge over responder, so on both occasions so far my egg collection was on the day they planned. Of course, everything could change for my next round...

Alsobeyondshit · 10/06/2023 21:23

@kay00 @thislittlebird hi both. Hope you are well! Kay - I had an estimated egg collection date pencilled in for this cycle but it ended up being five days later. When are you starting stims?

@thislittlebird I've stopped exercising and it's gotten me down!! I feel fat and bloated and full of fluid. How are you feeling about another transfer?

Had egg collection yesterday and much better than previous rounds. No idea what it was - the growth hormone, different stims drugs, 50 supplement tablets a day... Got nine eggs, 8 mature, 7 fertilised. Now the anxious wait for day five.

Think we'll do a fresh transfer and PGT-A test anything left over.

I think our consultant thinks we should go straight into another stims round and freeze what we have - to get the biggest choice of embryos and because if we do get pregnant this time and want a sibling in a few years we have options (as opposed to doing more IVF when I'm even older...) Frankly we don't have ten grand laying around though, the £2.5k for each frozen transfer, and I found stims hard this time struggling with work etc and maybe just one child is fine?!

How do you decide what is right?

Original poster

thislittlebird · 10/06/2023 09:52

@Kay00 i have to say I’m finding the wait hard. I just want to get on with it all because I’m so conscious of my age, but I know it makes sense to wait until then. I wish I was more relaxed! I’ve put on some weight again, so I need to work at losing that for the next month or so. It’s so slow going now, my metabolism is shit.

Oh wow, that is quite a birthday lol. They tell you your egg collection date in advance? I didn’t know that, how do they know your eggs will be ready then? I’ve never had this before!

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Kay00 · 09/06/2023 22:13

August sounds good 😊 giving yourself the summer to relax is a good idea too x

I have just had my regime through for my next round of IVF, and my egg collection is planned on my birthday in mid-July 🙈🙈🙈

I'm hoping I get a little birthday luck 🤞 but I'm also worried it will be another traumatic egg collection 😬 gah!!

Original poster

thislittlebird · 29/05/2023 15:14

@Alsobeyondshit I was 40 a week ago 🙃🙃🙃. I’m trying not to freak out but I know if I think about it too much then I will probably get upset. I feel like I’m almost out of time and we’ve run out of money right now for another cycle. So we need to save hard and hope we can save enough by winter, I guess, which is hard with two holidays this summer.

That’s what I did. Transferred my best one and tested the others that would survive the process. I guess I would do the same again, but I’m definitely conflicted about PGT-A.

Yeah, ikwym. I think my red line is roughly another year/too more fresh cycles. At the start I was hoping I’d only need one, what a dumb assumption that was. Mentally and physically I’m already fed up of it, but I know I won’t be able to feel like I’ve given it a shot unless I try a few more times.

I think I’ve probably regained a ton last week in Portugal! Need to get back to it. With age has come a lot of back/middle fat for me which I really don’t like.

How’s your cycle going? I’m not sure when to do another transfer. I want to get some more weight off, so if I did that for a month it would take me to July, but we’re on holiday in the Lakes then and I don’t want a BFN to ruin it so I’m thinking maybe August. It feels a long way away but I doubt it’ll make much difference. Any future egg collection cycles needed are the ones I’m more worried by time-wise.

Hope everyone else is well.

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JeanieJ · 22/05/2023 18:44

Thanks everyone 💕
It feels like a slap in the face after infertility and loss, but I'm feeling a bit more optimistic about the outcome either way now. I've literally just turned 36, so I knew it might increase my chances a bit, but there were other factors in my bloods that put me in the increased chance category. Fingers crossed all is fine though 🙏

@Kay00 gosh July is not far away for another cycle, my fingers are crossed that the procedure will make a big difference for you 🍀

@thislittlebird well done on the weight loss and I hope your trip to the Lakes gives you a chance to switch off for a while.

@Alsobeyondshit I don't have any experience of PGT-A testing. My clinic did suggest it to us when we found out DH had high DNA frag, but we couldn't afford it.

xx

Alsobeyondshit · 21/05/2023 08:30

@thisthislittlebird Yes I'm 40, think you're a wee bit younger? I'm really conflicted with the PGT-A testing. It bumps up clinics' success rates so of course they're for it but I don't want to discard anything. I might ask for a fresh with this round and test anything left over.

Sorry you're still feeling so blurgh about everything. I know you've often expressed frustration. I think it's good to think about how long you want to stick at all this. You aren't obliged. There is life beyond IVF and being a parent. I'm definitely not going to go on and on. I have my red lines and have found that helpful in a way, knowing I'm just not going to keep going if you know what I mean?

Well done on the weight loss! I have put a bit on and I really don't like it

Original poster

thislittlebird · 20/05/2023 08:57

Good luck with the NIPT @JeanieJ

@Alsobeyondshit yeah I’m still with them. On one hand I feel like I should try another clinic because they’re quite pricey, but at the same time they’ve got us further than ever in terms of understanding dh has antisperm antibodies so natural isn’t happening for us. We’ve kinda run out of money tbh, so we need to start saving again. Let us know how your cycle goes!

I did PGT-A this time. I’m having mixed feelings. We had 5 embryos, 1 5AA was transferred fresh (bfn), they tested three: the 4AA, 4BB and 4BB and the 4AA came back euploid. Also had a 5CC which we frozen without testing. So I feel like I’ve lost my embryos in a way, but at the same time, if they weren’t destined to develop further then maybe it’s ok. I’m too old for all this. 1 out of 3 is about bang on for my age, I think you’re the same age roughly?

@Kay00 thanks! I wanted to get to a lower weight before I turn 40 in a couple of days. Which I have, but want to keep it up for our Lake District holiday too. I’m kinda upset today because the specific days we’re in Portugal are looking like a total washout. Ordered a pac a Mac on Amazon yesterday :/ I had this specific vision of getting away from the shitty UK weather and spending a few days in the sun, but the weather said I can piss off.

What annoys me is that I feel like we do know our bodies and they’re all very dismissive. Anyway, the doctor is affable enough and agreed to a low dose. Knowing my luck the 4AA won’t even bother trying to implant.

I’ve read a lot about the growth hormone stuff on Reddit. Personally, I don’t think we need it, but when I post on Reddit people without fail recommend omnitrope (a US name) because it seems so common in ivf out there I guess.

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Kay00 · 20/05/2023 07:22

@Alsobeyondshit so interesting, thank you for sharing. I will have a chat with my consultant about it before our next cycle as I think my eggs need a boost.

I haven't done any PGS testing because I both rounds of IVF I've done so far I have collected 40 eggs in total (across both rounds), still had all 40 'going strong' on day 3, but only had one 5 day blast still alive by day 5 in each round. Both times we fresh transferred, and both failed (in fact on my 2nd round I started bleeding immediately and my period started 2dp5dt... So my body gave the blast zero chances).

I'm not against testing embryos. If I magically had say 5 blasts on my next round then I would fresh transfer one and test the rest, but that's because I think I am a high risk of abnormalities.

To try any level out my hormones, and improve my egg quality/blast rate, I have just had ovarian drilling (a week ago). I will be interested to see how that effects my numbers... But I'm not holding out too much hope.

@JeanieJ my next steps, as you asked 😊, are to call into the clinic with my CD1. They want my next IVF cycle to be in July. However... I'm not sure how drilling holes in my ovaries might effect my normal cycle 🤷

Alsobeyondshit · 20/05/2023 00:25

@kay00 I've been taking genotropin 0.4mg once a day. No idea if it has helped or is helping but my consultant recommended it! I don't have wide knowledge about it but my basic understanding is that some clinics recommend it in the lead up to and during stims at a low dose like I'm doing and some a really high dose just during stims (lots more expense too!!) I think argc maybe does this?

I've also been on a specific brand of DHEA as my testosterone was in the lower third as well as a bunch of supplements - 25 tablets a day. Adding to that from today following my baseline scan another 26 tablets of L'Arginine... I'm going to be rattling.

I'll let you know if I get better results this time!!

Have any of you done PGT-A testing? I'm not sure how I feel about it. Interested in your experiences.

Kay00 · 19/05/2023 17:09

@thislittlebird 12lb wowzers! That's flipping awesome! Well done 👏. And good news that the clinic agreed to use prednisolone ❤️ fuck him if he doesn't agree, he can't possibly understand everything that's going on in your body.

@JeanieJ 🤞I hope so x

I really hope the NIPT test comes back with the result you want, it's an additional stress you don't need at this stage xx

@Alsobeyondshit hello again 👋. Sorry to hear last round, and transfer were a dud 😥. Onwards and upwards, and a huge good luck for your next round.

I'm really interested in the growth hormone that you are being primed with, do you mind me asking what it is? I read about some really positive outcomes from using growth hormones, so keep us updated with your progress xx 😜

Alsobeyondshit · 19/05/2023 11:32

Hi everyone. I'm back, several name changes later and need to catch up!

@jeanieJ I'm so glad your pregnancy has stuck and you're ok. Wishing you the very best for the latest test results.

@thislittlebird just catching up with your messages. Are you still with Lister?

My last NHS round was in August and was a complete disaster, resulting in two crap eggs neither of which fertilised. Transferred a frozen which didn't stick.

Got my period today so off for my baseline scan later. First round with a new clinic. Been on low dose dhea testosterone and growth hormones for three weeks. Here's hoping they've made a difference.

JeanieJ · 19/05/2023 10:53

@Kay00 well hopefully that it's sorted now, your chances will increase 🙏

Pregnancy is going ok-ish. I had my 12 week scan the other day and got a call the next day saying that baby was increased risk of Downs, so I today I just did another test (NIPT). Bit disappointing as I was hoping we were out of the woods, but now just about a weeks more wait till we know.
xx

Original poster

thislittlebird · 19/05/2023 09:14

Oh and in small wins, I've lost 12lb/5.4kg since January. I'm hoping to keep it up when I'm back, my weight had been running away for me for a few years.

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Original poster

thislittlebird · 19/05/2023 09:12

@Kay00 the weather in London has been dreadful. Got half a day of sun yesterday but it still feels quite cold and it's still mostly grey. Portugal weather doesn't look as nice as I was hoping, I wanted to relax and hang out at the beach and stuff, not sure how it's going to go yet. It's 20-23 and rain is forecast at least some of the trip. We'll have some nice food either way, I'm looking forward to going to an amazing looking gelato place! No idea what to pack though. I bought myself a really nice summer dress from Boden and wanted to wear it for my birthday dinner there but I don't think it will be warm enough. Might keep it for the summer here!

The appointment was good and relatively positive because we can make embryos, clearly. How many more attempts we can afford is another issue. After discussion, the doctor has agreed to give me 10mg of prednisolone for the next FET, even though he thinks I'm talking crap about having an immune response to the embryo. I can't shake the fact I had implantation the one time I was on it.

He also raised doing the ERA test and medicated transfers/cycles, but I don't want to do them, never had wanted to do them. If the prednisolone option fails me I'll consider it for a future cycle, but for now I'm keen to stick to natural modified.

What''s next for you post-op?

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Kay00 · 16/05/2023 13:31

@JeanieJ I don't know, but I'll ask my consultant when I speak with her next. I guess it could be a small amount of endo or perhaps scarring from my last IVF round?

How is your pregnancy progressing? How are you feeling?

Good luck today @thislittlebird

JeanieJ · 16/05/2023 09:54

@Kay00 glad to hear the procedure went well and you're recovering ok. Albeit, it sounds very uncomfortable.
Do you know how your ovary adhered to your organ if it wasn't endo? They found something similar in my lap a few years back, but it was attributed to some internal scarring I had from my childhood appendectomy.
I hope this helps you get better results from your next cycle 🙏 xx
Good luck with your appointment today @thislittlebird xx