Bus 9 - Donkey Cart departing soon, all aboard with ivf, pcos, endo, sub/unexplained fertility jump on

Hi ladies I'm currently 11dp5dt
Which is about 16dpo?
Do you think my lines are too faint.
They are exactly the same line intensity as the tests I did on Tuesday morning.
Fearing I'm having another chemical

@kerrym87 yeah it’s all a bit daunting, but I will say my experience of the private clinic has been better. Yes, everything has a price tag but it was a bit less chaotic and they’re willing to try different things.

that’s a very cute pygmy, definitely a mood lifter!

@2023b thinking if you.
We're just about to pay for 2 cycle package for long protocol (only ever had short) and the leap from nhs to private - there's so much to sort! The anxiety I forgot about in the run up to each cycle along with all the shitty interactions and communications I experienced last time, condescending and nurses who often lacked compassion is now triggered.
Didn't expect it or realise how much the experience at previous clinic has affected me, felt so much more listened to and hopeful at this clinic but I'm so scared again of doing this but the wait has equally been crappy, longest gap I've ever had between cycles.
Know there's more chance of it not working but can't stop. 4 years in- hate this rollercoaster and I hate rollercoasters anyway 🤣
Sorry for moan...here is a pic of my African pygmy hedgehog to lighten the mood....

@Lauralozzle I’m still on it though I don’t comment now, it’s a good shout to join! They’ve all been through the wringer like we have and have lots of experience.

@2023b PS. I used cheapie sticks too xx

@2023b Yes that’s how it looked for me, although I’m cautious about raising your hopes because I know how crushing it is if negative!😟Either make sure you don’t drink anything for a while so it’s a strong urine concentration or wait until tomorrow- if you can!!🙃

@Misty84 Thank you. I've been to the toilet a few times (had 2 coffees - my limit per day, as working hard for upcoming stressful event this week) but each time its still dark brown and bitty tissue-like (sorry if too much info), is this how it was for you? I dont have ultra early pregnancy tests just standard pee on a stick ones not digital or dating either. I wonder if its worth testing the maybe 6th pee of the day now or just wait till tomorrow.. (Fully expecting this to turn into an actual period any moment to be honest)

@2023b I usually get a few days of spotting before my period starts. With this pregnancy I had spotting at the usual time which never developed into a period, that’s what led me to test and it was extremely light at first but line got darker each day. So definitely test and I have everything crossed for you!!

Thanks guys @Lauralozzle @kerrym87 .
Of course I didnt expect you to have a crystal ball. Fully expected to have a proper period by now so didn't test again (as assumed this is the start of a period) but still just spotting. Would a pregnancy test at this stage be helpful? Already had the first pee of the day (and several more).

@2023b occasionally I get longer spotting before a period with no reason but hard to say, could be either, could keep testing or wait for full period. Sorry that's not more help x

@2023b My periods are far too reliable to be of any help. If in doubt, I’d do a pregnancy test.

Hi guys. I posted a few days ago. Had tested then (2/11) - negative. Later that day started spotting. A little bizarrely perhaps, still spotting now. I know I said I'd come back to this thread as going through some other stressors right now... but 3 days later still don't have a proper period! Any chance this could be a pregnancy? Do people sometimes get brown spotting at the time theyd expect a period? Or do we think its (other) stress causing it go haywire and its just a period that will come..?

@thislittlebird I’ve jumped onto that era Emma Alice thread. Yes, we had duel trigger last time. The cycle was much more successful in terms of blasts at the end of it. So I’ll be more than happy to have a carbon copy of that again!

@kerrym87 I’m beginning to wonder if my 35 year old eggs are a bit crap. I never got those perfect day 5 expanded blasts others seem to get. Didn’t realise my jealousy would turn into jealousy over top rated fully expanded day 5 blasts! I just get crummy ones!

We don’t even bother to try naturally now. If fertilisation is crap with ICSI, AOA and Zymot the chances of it happening naturally is pretty much 0. Puts the pressure off sex now though, cause we certainly aren’t doing it to make a baby anymore. It would indeed be a miracle conception!

I think I’ll be happy when I jump off this bloody rollercoaster to be honest. When I compare the hope I had that first round to now, it’s so different. The break until the new year will be good for me I think.

@Lauralozzle were the same have a decent number fertilise but 1st cycle alot arrested at day3/4 which was more a sperm issue.last cycle they were fragmenting so much and slow growing - of 7 fertilised only 5 actually divided, 2 made to blast but one had excluded so much abnormal material inly half was left so nothing to freeze due to severe fragmentation. They now feel that's more an egg issue. I'm on lots of supplements supposed to help and it seems to have made some difference but now a different gentler protocol is our next move. I also have pcos and endo which affects quality.
It's a bummer when they don't behave or start ok then just clap out

@Lauralozzle hmmm yeah, well if you know what stage they've struggled at then at least that's something and you can do your own research to see what works for others and ask your clinic their thoughts on the potential issue. This is the problem with ivf, it can take a few attempts to even work out what works. 8 eggs is good though if you can repeat that protocol again. I can't remember, did you do a double trigger before? That was another change we made for the last cycle.

@thislittlebird I think it’s probably an egg problem but we do make blasts eventually. Getting them to fertilise seems to be the problem and then they’re just slow!

First round, 6 mature eggs - 2 fertilised with ICSI. One poor quality blast that was transferred and the other was just slow. By day 6 it hadn’t reached blast so couldn’t be frozen but had still progressed slightly.

Second round, 8 mature eggs - 4 fertilised with ICSI (used AOA and zymot too). By day 5, 3 were very early blasts and 1 morula. All I know is on day 5 eventually 2 were full blastocysts, one transferred and one frozen and one was left until day 6, which was a frozen expanded blast. The other didn’t make it.

So, once they’re fertilised they do progress. We don’t get the day 3-5 drop off others do. But, fertilisation is poor and they are just really sluggish!

@Lauralozzle my childhood was complicated too, and I grew up without my parents, so it's pretty much been the route we're on with our own DNA or nothing for us. It's such a personal choice and I respect people who adopt but I didn't want to take that path.

@2023b I second the advice on pushing the NHS as much as you can and looking into private if you can justify it to speed things up. Good luck!

@Lauralozzle I just found them another group of people I was failing compared to, and it wasn't very nice. The Emma/Alice thread is good because there's a lot of women who have been through the ringer and they are very supportive and have lots of knowledge between them. I would definitely join, lots of things in there that isn't emma/alie either, I joined because of repeat implantation failure and was generally looking for advice.

Definitely good to remember that. NICE recommends three rounds for a reason, it can take a few tries to get it right/find the right embryo to stick around. But it feels very tough when everyone else seems to succeed first or second time.

Donor is a difficult one. If you don't have a clear egg/sperm problem, there's not real guarantee it will work. For us, we made embryos but they didn't stick so I didn't really consider donor because we didn't know which donor we'd need and creating embryos didn't seem to be the issue, so who knows if a donor (egg or sperm) embryo would even work for us. When are your embryos stopping development? I think if it's day 3 onwards they say that's a sperm issue.

I got those stories too. Lost count of the number of people I had to tell that I didn't want to adopt. Luckily my mother in law agreed with me when I told her it wasn't for me, she said I don't blame you and i was glad of that.

@2023b We started trying in october 2019 and we told some family in 2021 when we were starting IVF. I have mixed feelings about that choice, probably a but naive at the time and thought it would work first time, I quickly got fed up of them asking how it was going when it was not going well. Either way, we stopped sharing so much as time went on.

@Lauralozzle there's a podcast on fertility network uk for people supporting those who are going through t which is quite good. You could send it to some friends and family and it does help their understanding x

@2023b Of course. I totally get how it’s a massive mind fuck! Good luck for the future.

@Marvellouslymadmum @Lauralozzle
Just wanted to say thank you. Clearly a path you've walked down...
Is it ok if I come back a little down the line? Just going through some other (non fertility related) challenges at the moment and thinking of this as well is just a bit too much weighing me down at the moment. Thank you though and I will be back. Good luck to everyone on their journeys! (Still clinging onto a tiny bit of hope, tested neg but no period yet..)

@2023b The waiting lists are ridiculous. If the blood tests show everything is ok/you’re ovulating and you’ve had an ultrasound (internal or external?) then the next step would be HSG or hycosy to check fallopian tubes. Has your DH had sperm analysis?

Honestly, if you’re looking at years for a fertility appointment following your referral, which considering you’ve been TTC for 2 years will involve a discussion about IVF if you’re ovulating etc and no issues are found, and then there’s the IVF waiting list after that, I’d consider pushing for that referral and asking if there’s any cancellations etc. A waiting list of years just to be seen by the fertility clinic is ridiculous.

If you can afford it, it’d seriously consider private if it won’t affect any NHS criteria.

@Marvellouslymadmum @Lauralozzle
Yes had blood tests and ultrasound. Came off OCP just over 2 years ago to ttc. Had wildly irregular periods for a year or so. Bit more regular in the last 6-7 months. Also never had a positive test. But at least cycles now are 28-35 days (compared to once when it was 5 months).

So so frustrating. Doing all the usual things - normal BMI (23), tee-total, regular dtd around ovulation (getting a definite change/egg white CM), laying flat/pelvis raised with feet against a wall for a while etc.

Been referred to fertility gynae but waiting list is years.

@2023b So we’ve been trying for 4 years 4 months now. My sister has known for about a year. My two best friends have known for a few months. No-one else knows.

The thing is, all of my closest friends are childless. So they don’t really get it. Other friends do have kids, but I’m not really close enough to them to tell them.

Truth be told, the people who do know don’t get it. It’s not their fault, they couldn’t possibly get it. The trauma this ‘journey’ has caused couldn’t be understood - month after month of BFN, going to GP, Having tests, unexplained diagnosis, being told by GP that we’re still young and it’ll happen. IVF. X3 failed transfers. I’ve never had a positive test. They couldn’t possibly understand how that feels and that’s ok. But I don’t share much because 1) they don’t know what to say or 2) they say the wrong thing, because they don’t know what to say.

I don’t have much advice, I’ve found infertility communities such as this invaluable. People get it, they’re living it. How long have you been trying? Have you spoken to your GP yet and arranged tests?

@Marvellouslymadmum Fully hats off to anyone who adopts. I just don’t have the resilience for it. My childhood wasn’t rosy, lots of upset, lots of uncertainty, it’d drag up way too much. Which is why I’d consider donor if I had to - the non biological part doesn’t bother me as much, it’s everything else.