Bus 9 - Donkey Cart departing soon, all aboard with ivf, pcos, endo, sub/unexplained fertility jump on

Hi girls, thanks for checking in on everyone @OrangeBengal, I haven’t been on here for a few weeks so it’s good to see how everyone is doing. Great news on your euploid!

Havent been on because I guess I’ve entered a different stage mentally. Instead of “Why me?” I’m thinking “Why not me?” (got this from Dame Deborah James). Life isn’t fair, that’s just a fact. I’m tired of this, it’s been over 3 years and it’s affected mine and my partners mental health so badly. It’s also now impacting our relationship (he hasn’t been able to ‘perform’ since he found out they couldn’t find any sperm that weren’t grade 0) so we’ve just stopped trying to be intimate altogether until we’re in a better headspace.
So I’m beginning the very slow process of acceptance that being parents is unlikely to happen for us. It’s a relief in a way, to be finished with IVF and it’s just down to nature now.
We are not confident or enthusiastic whatsoever about adoption, so not going down that route currently.
I think it’s going to be just dog mum for me.

@Sunbird24 That is such bad timing! Anything that can be done about it?

@thislittlebird Best of luck with this final NHS transfer. I can understand you having an end point. 2 rounds of private was the same for us.

If that’s when feels right then I think go with it @thislittlebird. In some ways knowing when to stop is the hardest part.

If this doesn’t work for us (to our stopping point whenever we decide that is) it’s the end of the line, we decided against donors and adoption. So it’d be a child-free life. So I get it, it’s a lot come to terms with.

@OrangeBengal i hope the BB works but I’ve had so much irritation from the antibiotics I’m assuming it’s a hostile environment in there. I was fairly blasé about the 5AC, I just had a feeling it wouldn’t thaw, it was the straggler. That’s our nhs attempts done now, hopefully private can help us but I’m not sure how much of this I’m willing to do really. We’ll pay for two more rounds and if that fails I think we’ll be done. I don’t know how to keep doing this if it doesn’t work for us.

@Sunbird24 I had to ask to find out. I’m glad I knew it was the weakest one that didn’t make it.

Not headings, gradings!

@thislittlebird everything crossed for you! I’ve never even known what the headings were for any of my embryos

Congratulations on being pupo @thislittlebird! So sorry one didn’t make it, it must have been gutting. I’ve learnt that gradings mean nothing though, I’ve had AAs not take and now have a BB and BC left, so your BB has every chance. Just be easy on yourself

@OrangeBengal very good news it was euploid!

@Sunbird24 oh that’s massive Sod’s law!

I was scheduled for a double transfer Sunday but one of mine didn’t make it (5AC). I kind of expected that and that’s why I wanted a double, and so we didn’t t have to pay them more. Transferred the 4BB, I’m not convinced it was the right day tbh. I was on antibiotics last week, I reported my LH rise on Tuesday, I then had a migraine on Friday which I’m worried means I ovulated on Thursday. Anyway, it’s done now, I’m booking a consultation with the Lister for mid October and will raise this when I meet with them. If I can’t do medicated transfers I’m hoping they’ll suggest a letrozole and trigger shot protocol for transfers so at least I’ll know the transfers are the right time.

anyway….hopes are low but maybe 4BB can do me a solid.

Thanks @Sunbird24, a big relief! Oh no re move, what are you thinking of doing to keep a little calm going?! Anything for new for the transfer? I’m thinking of leaning more to the hippy side, so will be doing some visualisation next time as well as the acupuncture, ERA and scratch.

Fab news @OrangeBengal!

Im gearing up for my final embryo, but it now looks like I’ll be moving house right around the same time the transfer’s due to happen. You genuinely couldn’t make it up…

Hi All. Got my retested embryo results today and it’s euploid - whoohoo! Means we can delay the decision about another EC awhile longer and I can more easily live in the moment now. It does look like I have a new fibroid growing, a year and a few months after my surgery, but it’s 1cm and not too close to my uterus, so I’m going to choose to not worry about it. How’s everyone else doing @thislittlebird, @Sunbird24, @Misty84, @kerrym87, @Hoping43, @Alexis7890 and anyone else I’ve missed off?

Well, I suppose if I do pick a name and it does work out, he won’t be able to say he doesn’t like it @thislittlebird!

@OrangeBengal I can see what he means. For me it's more about getting something out of my system. I probably won't even tell DH lol.

Spoke to my husband about naming the embryos and he’s not into it because for him it makes it more real, more emotional. Not sure it’ll be as helpful if I just do it. Will have a think and see though. His reasons are completely understandable, just different approaches I guess.

That’s tough @thislittlebird. And yes it should be pretty straightforward privately. My clinic checks 3 days before transfer, I wanted them to check just after starting the progesterone, but they say that’s the earliest they can tell if it’s working on not.

@OrangeBengal it’s been hard work getting this one test so I can’t see them agreeing. I hope stuff like this is included in the access package if/when I go private.

If you can @thislittlebird try and get a test 2-3 days before, that way you should be able to get the effects of an increase it you need one

@OrangeBengal yeah I think I will do it. Feels therapeutic.

Seven is a good number, even if there were fewer post testing.

Went for my scan today. I have a 17mm follicle, so just need to do LH tests now while I want of my positive. They're going to progesterone test me on the day of transfer this time.

Oh @thislittlebird I really like the idea of naming embryos, thank you, I think I might do this too.

We got 7 embryos: 1 untested went in on the fresh cycle and of the rest 2 were aneuploid and one ‘unknown’ (that we’re now having re-tested). So for us, 4 goes, hopefully 5 from the EC. Which is now 1 (or 2) left.

Welcome @zizzybdub! I’ve joined recently and you’re in good hands here.

@zizzybdub welcome! That’s interesting that they can tell the problem. Do they always do that or is it extra? Four euploid sounds really good.

You have similar timings to us. We started ttc October 19, started IVF January 22.

@OrangeBengal yeah I agree and think I’ll probably keep away from the thread for a bit because it’s worrying me more tbh. Not that I’ve been there lately but I was hoping to ask people who’d had the same tests what they did but it’s all very overwhelming.

I wanted to focus tests on things I am fairly sure I have a problem with (bacterial flora/fauna and immune issues, I know this is an issue because of my history with eczema, IBS etc) but I can’t do this continuously. I can’t move on to more tests, and I don’t really want to do anything too invasive on a whim.

How many embryos did you get on your first cycle? We got four so I knew that wasn’t enough tries to me to feel like I’d had a good crack at it, especially at 38/39. I will get the two cycle package with Access and hope it’s enough attempts to make me feel like I’ve done what I can.

The name thing tortures me tbh. These names, one in particular, are my imagined kids. But I’m increasingly coming to terms with that not happening, hopefully I can name the different embryos, get a dog and try to move on.

Hi All, Do you mind if I join? I've been following along for a while. I'm 37, my partner is 39. We've been TTC since Jan 2020 and started IVF in January this year. From our first EC we had 4 embryos - 2 reasonable quality, 2 lower quality. We did a fresh transfer and frozen transfer of the two good ones which both failed. We then did another EC, which gave us 3 embryos, all ok quality. We sent all of them (remaining two from round 1, three from round 2) for PGT-A. 4 came back euploid, 1 came back aneuploid. With the aneuploid one they were able to tell us which chromosome the problem was on.

@thislittlebird I like the ERA thread, but I think it’s also possible to test for too much, if every woman tested I’m sure they’d be something. Most of which doctors probably wouldn’t know much about.

I think for well-being purposes we need a cut-off too, just not sure what that is yet. I thought it was these frozen embryos, but then I thought, I have a list of names, what happens to them? So I’m not ready yet. I’m trying to stay more in the moment though, that’s what my acupuncturist is trying to get me to see.

PGS-wise, I don’t know, to see if it was a condition that was age-related.

@OrangeBengal what were you thinking of asking?

I just posted my microbiome results on the ERA thread and now I’m panicking and feeling overwhelmed. This whole thing, this extra layer of infertility is making me reassess everything. I went to a funeral yesterday, he was 56. I don’t know if I want to spend more years doing this, doing all these tests, putting myself through all this shit. I feel like I’m going to commit to the two more private rounds and call it a day, I don’t even feel like I want to do those right now. But if I say I’ve done three rounds then at least I’ve given it a try.

They’re in Scotland @thislittlebird, so maybe that’s the difference?? I considered asking about my abnormal ones since we’ve been chatting about this, but actually I don’t want to know.

@OrangeBengal interesting. I’ve never heard of people getting specific info from PGS before, only the aneuploid/euploid/mosaic outcomes.