Bus 9 - Donkey Cart departing soon, all aboard with ivf, pcos, endo, sub/unexplained fertility jump on

@OrangeBengal good luck for your bloods!

definitely no success this cycle for us so another cycle with letrozole and hope I ovulate with it again! Starting the pills tomorrow….lovely birthday present to me!

the side I’m really struggling with at the moment, is the increase to my weight. Felt so good this time last year after our wedding and all of the stress, medication etc hasn’t led to a huge weight gain but definitely a bit of one and clothes are a lot tighter etc, have others had this? Comfort chocolate probably doesn’t help!!

Not sure what a donkey cart is but I think I belong on this bus now 😂

Our story: DS was a miracle conceived naturally after 15 cycles after being told ICSI was our only option due to husband's very low sperm motility.

We started trying for number two in December 2021 after our son turned one. We had a MMC in April at nine weeks but no luck since then. We're now looking into private tests for my husband to see if his sperm results are the same as last time and then, if so, may just push on with ICSI IVF as it's starting to feel like there's no other option. We've given ourselves three more months as we're trying some new vitamins and the Ferti-lily to try and help the swimmers out.

This month my body is playing silly buggers with me. I had O confirmed by temping and the usual pains I get (FF gave me crosshairs and I had the obvious dip and rise) but I'm now 17dpo and there's no sign of AF. Tests are all negative. I have no idea what's going on :(

Thanks @OrangeBengal I will keep having to check up on him that he’s actually following through with it! 🙃

Hope your levels are good, let us know how you get on 🤞

Thanks @Misty84, well done for getting your hubby to speak a counsellor, it’s a huge step, one that I’m sure will help you both mentally.

I have bloods tomorrow ahead of my transfer, so really hoping my levels are good. However much I’m on, how I absorb it seems to be a bit of pot luck!

Hi sorry I haven’t felt able to post in the last couple of weeks but I did appreciate your replies to me @OrangeBengal and @thislittlebird. My partner seems able to dtd again after a mental block so that’s good, we only missed 2 natural cycles. Natural is all we’ve got now!
I find hope a blessing and a curse. It’s keeping us all on this awful train for a very long time.
Completely agree with your statements of frustration and despair @kerrym87 and @ShirleyValentineManc.
Hope you are doing ok @Alexis7890.My partner is also very practical and doesn’t talk about his feelings! That’s why recently when I saw him suffering so much it was such a change from how strong he’s been over the years of TTC.
Finally managed to convince him to self refer to our local NHS counselling service though!

Best of luck for your transfer on Weds Orange xx

My new consultant was on holiday but she’s coming in just for my transfer, which goes a long way to easing my stress @Alexis7890. In theory I feel pretty good about it, but I won’t really know until I start taking all my drugs, it’s a lot more then I’m used to and I’m not sure how I’ll be on them. Doing the double acupuncture on the day feels promising though.

I’m glad DH is good and optimism although occasionally annoying, I imagine feels nice most of the time. Keep hold of it.

@OrangeBengal thats good he’s so supportive, I can see how those comments won’t always land right! My husband is generally good, he is very much practical minded and doesn’t talk too much about his feelings. He is an eternal optimist as well and fully believes we will get there so that can be good in those darker moments, or it is just infuriating…can go either way!! How are you feeling about next week?

DH has been great @Alexis7890 , but he can’t get as we do here. He also says silly things like, “we could get more cats”, which I know he doesn’t fully mean, but on a bad day it doesn’t go down well. This process has definitely taught us to cut each other some slack though. We need to grieve separately and together.

Re MFI, I’d recommend DNA Frag test, on all the SA tests my husband’s sperm looked like super sperm in pretty all the categories for concern, if I’d just counted on these we’d know nothing. Sperm takes 3 month to replenish, so as long as you identify the right issue, a fix is mostly possible within this is the DP is willing to do the work. Which is amazing, wish our eggs could do that.

@OrangeBengal they said because our primary problem was me not having any kind of menstrual cycle to focus on trying to get one going and not get focussed on him, I don’t know why we couldn’t focus on both but here we are! His sperm isn’t terrible, but isn’t ideal either. Eek everything crossed for you that does the trick!! That’s great your bestie has been so great, so important to have someone to unload to, my physio has almost become therapy, she hears all sorts while I’m on the table! How’s your partner been with it all?

Sounds tough @Alexis7890. With MFI, is there are reason why trying naturally / IUI is being recommended? We have MFI, though when the sperm was washed fertilisation with and without ICSI was excellent, but naturally nothing happening. I’m unexplained - ovulation great, eggs great and lining great (the usual things they look for) and no blockages, but it’s just not working, and that’s with euploid embryos. I do now seem to have a NK thing confirmed, but I was on intralips before, which should have helped with this, they’re thowing in clexane an aspirin now too, so maybe that’ll do it and my issue would have been blood flow?? I get you friends and family too, my best friend has mostly been brilliant, but mum just keeps saying the wrong things, so I don’t tell her much.

@OrangeBengal when even doctors are saying one more try but we don’t think it will work for you, it definitely doesn’t put you in the mood to try! Especially when coupled with the mental side of infertility as well. Google is a dangerous hole I have spent far too long in but can’t resist! They have said to do at least 1 more go with letrozole if no pregnancy to try to be as natural as possible but with my husbands sperm issues probably not the full 6 the nhs recommends and move to ivf with ICSI. after 2 complete failure cycles this is positive progress, but probably the hardest progress for me to talk about with friends etc. did you do clomid/letrozole at all?

I think you can be forgiven for not having the mental / physical energy to DTD @Alexis7890 Same goes for Googling, I used to berate myself, but now I just try and set a daily limit. Fingers-crossed that the letrozole works, it seems like you’ve had progress recently. Would you carry on with it if you need to or switch to IVF?

@OrangeBengal I am on letrozole, no ovulation from first 2 cycles and so this was the last go with it, I did ovulate with it this month so in the wait at the moment to see if we had any success, I don’t hold out much hope as I didn’t believe it would work (neither did doctors really) so feel like probably didn’t really try like we should have!! I think this weekend/early next week will be 2 weeks from when they think ovulation was. All they can say is 16mm follicle on Thursday 29th September, corpus luteum visible on Thursday 6th October so happened sometime in that window. Annoyed with myself for not trying harder and driving myself mad with any signs, like I’ve had horrendous headaches, really sore boobs, bloated, exhausted but that could just be period is coming, expecting period to arrive over the weekend then try another cycle of letrozole

Thanks @Alexis7890 remind me where you’re up to with your journey

@OrangeBengal good luck for your transfer!!

@thislittlebird how are you? @ShirleyValentineManc I had a 3 month break last year and it was probably the best thing we ever did.

I have my dates and full plan confirmed following my ERA. My transfer will be next Wednesday (19th) and I will have an acupuncture session pre and post transfer (same day). My new consultant and I agreed on the Cyclogest, Lubion, prednisolone, Clexane and aspirin on top of the oestrogen. So I got my way on the progesterone (Lubion rather then Prontogest), but relented on the Clexane. I’m still continuing with my daily visualisations and trying to stay positive.

@thislittlebird I'm thinking of you. I had to attend an EPU last November when after 6 weeks of positive tests I got bleeding and passed a very large clot (which is difficult to admit, was the pregnancy).
My HCG levels where 150 and two days later 54.
We're all here no matter what the outcome.

I know what you say when you're exhausted.
After 2 and half years of TTC, IVF l, which landed me in hospital and my life on the line, we've (I've!) decided to have a break until after our wedding next August.

Please keep posting on here, no matter what you need to air. I've thought it all before...
"Is it worth it?
Fuck her and her scan picture (but hit the like button)
What they fuck do they know?! They've got kids!"

xx

@kerrym87 oh no doesn’t sound fun with MIL hope it isn’t too bad!

@thislittlebird thinking of you over the weekend, hope you are doing as okay as you can be

@thislittlebird thinking of you

For others...I've only ever had consultant led care at my nhs trust who are brilliant but admin and nurses not as good.

I'm just so sick of this train but can't get off, really struggling to be positive at all at least enough to just live in the moment day by day to get through and appreciate the little things. Currently still suffering awful post covid digestive problems 3 months on so totally fed up and next cycle not til Jan.

Mil issues keep cropping up as well so going to have to have a blunt conversation about not being thoughtless arse.

@OrangeBengal hopefully you get the one you want.

That's the worry isn't it. I've had one small fibroid throughout and luckily nothing has changed in the process.

Thanks @becarefuloutthere, it's not much fun, just waiting on blood test results to confirm to stop meds.

@thislittlebird I'm so sorry to read your updates. I hope you're ok xx

Hopefully @thislittlebird . I’ve just been told officially that my consultant has left, so I was right, I’ve requested a specific new consultant, so we’ll see what they say.

Re blood flow, yes for the aspirin, but I don’t think I want to take the clexane if there’s no proof that I need it in case it affects the fibroid.

Makes sense to pay for two rounds if it’s cheaper that way, but yes that’s beyond what I could manage.

Annoying re work, it’s not on.

@OrangeBengal can you go back to having a consultant to deal with more one on one?

I suppose extra blood flow to the uterus can only be a good thing.

It’s so hard to say. I feel like two more whole rounds will finish me off, but I’ll pay them for two because it’s cheaper that way.

Yeah, I wouldn’t mind if they were more flexible but they aren’t, they’re more rigid than every other department for some unexplained reason and it will be all very new during the private ivf. Feels like I’d rather stay put where I am and worry about work another time.

@thislittlebird Technically I’m now ‘looked after’ by the medical director, but he doesn’t do any of the hands-on stuff, so the relationship isn’t the same. Re low progesterone it looks like there’s something there, which they only realised in cycle 3 (the cancelled one), but my levels seem to be what they need to be on low support after I ovulate (one injection no pessaries), but if I don’t ovulate it seems like I need a bucket load. The clexane and aspirin are just in case I think, both apparently help with blood flow to the uterus.

I have 2 embryos left and then I think I’m done with the clinic, maybe done with IVF too, but I don’t know yet.

Re work, if it’s going to cause more stress, then yes, it’s not worth it.

@OrangeBengal yeah it sounds like they’re throwing everything at you in the hope it sticks. Have you got a history of low progesterone? I do, I wish I knew why, and I know they’ll bump mine up because the Cyclogest isn’t cutting it lately. Why clexane AND aspirin, so you know? Is this a new doctor for you? It’s hard. I didn’t know how I felt about the last consultant I had at the private clinic, I’ve taken a gamble and requested another doc this time to see what he’s like.

I don’t want to risk PGS when we don’t get many embryos, sadly. If we got a few more I would, but for three? I might end up with none so I’ll judge that nearer the time. I took low dose aspirin for the last cycle and this one. I took low dose pred for this one, and I do believe that’s what made the difference. Progesterone and my immune system are my main issues. I did also take antibiotics before the transfer cycle, that could have helped a bit too.

I really don’t believe I would tbh. It’s me and a new manager I’ve never met/isn’t employed yet setting up a new team. More responsibility, more time in the office and I’ve pushed it already to ask why they do more than other teams and they just do…it’s not want I want right now. Work is work, and peace of mind is my priority right now. I don’t want to tell this to the guy I’ve been dealing with about it all really.