Bus 9 - Donkey Cart departing soon, all aboard with ivf, pcos, endo, sub/unexplained fertility jump on

@MIW01 I’m glad to hear you’re feeling more positive about DE and I’m glad you’re happy with the choice. My friend did it and got twins first time (she didn’t try her own eggs because her reserve was so diminished when they got tested).

@Misty84 hello, hope you’re ok! We don’t have much to report either really, just the same trying and failing story. It’s hard to believe any transfer will work at this stage, but we tweak it each time and hope for the best until we give up. And yes, we have two embryos. One PGT-A tested normal 4AA and one untested 5CC. Obviously we’re dubious these will work, the 5CC may not even survive being thawed, so we’re going to have to start saving hard again after our holiday/s. Our second cycle being so dire is very frustrating in hindsight, feels like we could have had a fair few tries by now if not for that shitshow, but it’s my fault for being too keen I suppose and wanting to go right into another cycle.

I thought that RATW guy’s adoption story was so sweet. I’d be more up for it if I knew I could adopt a baby or toddler, or if I could change their name, or if I could see the future and know they didn’t hate me or something. I don’t know if that sounds stupid since my own kid could hate me or change their own name, but I guess I know what you mean about the nightmare outcome feeling more likely with an older child.

@kerrym87 I know what you mean about not knowing what investigations to do. We had a follow up yesterday and the consultant mentioned the ERA again. Maybe I’ll regret saying know but I’m just not convinced receptivity is my issue. Maybe it is, but I managed to get pregnant (albeit briefly) once and I was taking pred at the time. He thinks I’m talking nonsense when I say it’s my reactive immune system but I’ve convinced him to let me try 10mg of prednisone in the next FET and said if we do another fresh then I’ll consider the medicated transfer, dummy cycle and ERA option then.

hope you’re feeling a bit better, the money stuff is very overwhelming

Hi @MIW01 I probably will message you privately at some point if that’s ok! Like you, I feel that donor eggs will give us the closest option to the parenting journey that we want. So that will likely be the path we take. I’m just a bit daunted by it all (cost and where to start). I’m really pleased to hear that you’re feeling so much better about it all and with renewed hope. 🌸

@Misty84 @kerrym87 we are currently navigating the World of donor eggs. At the moment we are in the process of choosing a clinic and deciding whether we go with Access Fertility donor eggs refund package or a finance plan direct with the clinic. I'm also very fortunate to have some very supportive people nearby to talk things through with. There is a lady who is on Facebook as Rain2Rainbow who blogs about her donor egg experience.

I am very happy for anyone to private message me about it as well. I also join monthly Zoom meetings via Fertility Network UK for my area (Hampshire, Dorset and Wiltshire) and I've joined donor egg conception groups on social media, too.

I am honestly feeling OK about it. With donor eggs there's a 70% success rate so I know the odds are so much better going in to it. I'm also very fortunate to have relatives helping us out financially. We've looked into other options and decided on donor eggs because it will give us the parenting journey that we want as well as the child being DH's biologically so he is a part of the process in a way that means a lot to him.

I feel that in one respect, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, the pressure is off in some sense. On the other hand, we are just beginning to navigate another aspect of this TTC journey, but woth more hope and our eyes open. We are feeling much better about it all. I'm going to find some active donor egg threads on here as well.

had consultation with Dr Anu at fertility academy....she felt my issue was more egg quality not immune and when Dr gorgy offered me the PRP that was toikorove egg quality. Looking at what we hope to do which is one more cycle with my eggs (physically I can't manage many more) then donor it's so much money. I don't know what investigations we should get, will we regret spending lots of money doing lots of things that may not be of much use, what if we regret not doing things. If we want a quick result with more chance of it working donor could be way forward, its all a melting pot as we have some money but not unlimited. Anyone got any advice how to navigate the sheer amount of what is on offer, what to chose, the amount? If we did all that was suggested with fertility academy investigations, one cycle own eggs, then donor with only 1 FET it would be £26k without drugs.....there are some clinics closer who do packages but hard to know if they will do enough. 6 weeks since last failed ivf and such a melting pot of emotions thoughts and overwhelmed with how to move forward

Hi all, just popping back to see how you all are, I don’t have anything new to say hence my absence!
Sorry to hear your transfer didn’t work @thislittlebird, great that it was a more successful response overall though and you have more embryos to try (hope I read that right). I get that it’s hard to have faith after multiple failures.
I also watch Race across the world and I held my partner’s hand and said “It’s not just us.” It was the chat they had with a driver in the final episode that really got to me. 😢
We’re still not there with adoption nor are we doing anything about donor eggs. Adoption I’m worried we will receive some nightmare child and I’ll be in a worse position than I am now. Donor eggs the whole process and expense is very daunting to me and I still don’t have faith it’ll work.
So I am just kinda stationary!☹️

Hope you’re all ok, or at least managing to cope xx

@kerrym87 that sounds hard, but I know what you mean. I think I could be ok with all this and then I see a pregnant woman and it hurts to know I’ve failed to do this very basic thing everyone else can do.

Have you seen Race Across the World? Two contestants on the show started talking about their infertility struggles in the episode I was watching tonight. I burst into tears, it was very relatable.

Sorry @kerrym87 crossposted! Will reply to your message now

Also trying to work out how we will fund another round and need to work out how much it’ll cost without a package. We can save up again, but we have some stuff to pay for in the house and holidays and then it will take a few months to save enough. Holidays were our choice but I feel bad about them right now, it’s very frustrating, We don’t have time, but we don’t have the money ready and it’ll take time for us to save some more. The last cycle was quite expensive with PGT-A and extra tests.

@thislittlebird yeah same as you my second was bad as I had covud but still a shitty outcome. Firstshift back at work (on baby unit)....its so hard when i first go back and I've got the ivf mental and emotional hangover. Seeing sil and her 1st time ivf baby soon too 😔 friends mum saw us in town and was telling us our friend had another chemical pregnancy and just had a miscarriage at 9 weeks, just burst into tears! More than one pregnant colleague....they're bloody everywhere!

@Marvellouslymadmum how strange, I get such bad pains sometimes I need paracetamol brufena and codeine , this period after ivf and shatloads of oestrogen and progesterone i was so sick of tablets I used a tens machine...worked quite well. Other times not much cramping....our bodies are so complex and weird. Does anything particular help regulate your cycle?

@kerrym87 have you finished your nhs cycles now? I think we both have had three? And both our second cycles went badly?

@Marvellouslymadmum the moving sounds stressful!

I have no idea if I’ve ovulated or not after the ivf cycle. A little concerned I’ll get my period when we’re away for my 40th birthday in a couple of weeks. I’m wondering if I can take Cyclogest with my to delay it.

I had a shitty morning. Was already feeling sad about everything and was going to B&Q. Asda is next door and we needed a couple of bits so I said to dh I feel uncomfortable about going here in case I bump into anyone, because I still live near where I grew up. Would have loved to have moved away but ivf has stopped us. Anyway, of course I did see someone. Probably the last school friend I know of who hadn’t had kids yet, and she was heavily pregnant. I just walked straight by, found him and got the car keys and left.

@Marvellouslymadmum hope the move went well I hate moving! We're just starting ti get consultations together for new clinics, our nhs review appt then trying to figure out how much it'll be etc. First cycle after failed ivf is delayed as usual and headaches are frequent.

@thislittlebird I’m sorry it was negative. This whole thing is just crap. I really do hope your frozen embryos come back from testing okay.

I’ve had my TSH results back today following a higher dose. It’s gone down slightly, but TSH is 6.10 and still too high even with increased dose.

GP appointment booked for 15th May. I’m in too minds increasing my dose to 75mg from tomorrow myself. I have 16 tablets left 50mg each, I can order 56 more come Monday. I should have enough if I take one and break one in half until my GP appointment on 15th. I’ll ask for increase then anyway. I’m pretty sure they only go up by 25mg anyway. Urgh. Not sure. Not the news I wanted anyway.

@kerrym87 i could have sworn it was a chemical but test was negative. Back to square one we go, I guess. I got through work and was quite numb doing the test, I knew it hadn’t worked either way. My bodily reactions at the weekend were bizarre, I was convinced something was going on in there, good or bad. I do think the more of this you do the more in tune you are with your body’s responses.

I’m going to try to advocate for 10 or 15mg of pred if we have anything to transfer. 25mg is what they advise but it’s too high, I’m asthmatic, and I’m already a victim of pred moonface.

@thislittlebird I'm sorry you feel its going same way, I got this flash of a thought/feeling 3-4 days post transfer of it had gone, no explanation why, same feeling 1st transfer but wasn't sure if it was my mind as I felt that before. Also, with the pred I was only on 15mg but then by the time I'd been o it a week I then got a bad sore throat with low grade temps, just felt better then started with a cold and temps yesterday. Stopped the pred about a week ago. So it's definitely suppressed my immune system 🤧🤕

Neither of us is very keen on donor so I just can’t see this ending in a kid for us. The only time implantation happened was when I was on pred and I can’t help thinking that it suppresses my overactive immune system.

@kerrym87 yeah I have to agree about the nhs offering. They basically told me they wouldn’t try any extras if I came back as a private patient, which I find odd. I’m relieved my clinic is trying other stuff, I suppose.

Not that it’s done a lot, another negative test. I just bought one and took it in the toilet at work because the bleeding was increasing a bit. I will try again later tonight after holding with a FRER, I’m not convinced it didn’t implant. It felt like the last chemical I had, cycle wise.

Waiting on PGT-A results so will be pretty devastated if they come back abnormal.

On Friday I had a huge eczema flare up and on Saturday it was a migraine and almost like my body was fighting off something, some sort of immune response. So I have to wonder if it did try to implant it implanted briefly. Feel like I’m wasting good embryos on a potentially hostile environment 😔

@Marvellouslymadmum nothing can be done about the antibodies, basically, just more ivf. Sigh.

@Marvellouslymadmum negative again. Nothing to freeze. Like @thislittlebird we can make the embryos just not grow them properly or get them to stick (one usable embryo from 14 eggs!!).

Were looking at private now with some immune testing etc a bit annoyed thinking about my nhs and it feels like on reflection they've just done the same bloody thing not changed my drugs or protocol or anything. Think I'll ask about a different protocol or drugs without lh in as with pcos that can negatively affect the egg development and quality. Think they trigger me too early too. Also considering donor if advice from Dr gorgy and another private clinic says so. I don't care about genetics now, some cells from baby would come to me and visa versa and if I can carry it and love it that's all that matters. Just dint want to spend a shatload of money and it not work to think why did we spend all that. Repeated implantation failure bloods are our first port of call I think

@Marvellouslymadmum yeah well something is going on that’s not like everyone else so who knows 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I’m glad we found out about the antisperm antibodies. I think it’s helped me accept why this won’t work for us naturally, whereas before it just felt like I was incapable of getting pregnant. Now I know I can get pregnant, staying in that condition is another issue, but it kinda helps knowing it’s not my body entirely failing to do this. We have a major sperm issue, but it’s answered questions for us.

@Lauralozzle thanks. It lingered a bit on Sunday morning but eventually went away. It was very odd, my face was flushed and I just had to go to sleep because I was feeling so awful.

I’m so fucking tired of fighting with doctors, it never ends. If we do throw in the towel in a few months, I will not miss that element of all this nonsense. I don’t think one cycle and being done with ivf is comparable to people who have to do it over and over. It all sucks but I found the first cycle to be optimistic and positive, generally, exciting to finally be having a chance. It severely takes its toll on you after multiple attempts, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.