Hi - anybody else 'secretly' trying for next baby?

Just thought i'd pop in here and say hi, as we also have a larg(ish) age gap. (I'm 37 & DH is 51) The age difference doesn't occur to us at all really, and if others are bothered then it's their problem! We are "secretly" trying for my #3 and his #1. It's not happening yet, (cycle 6 currently) but i would give anything for it to happen, and i know that the moment that i see him hold his new born baby will be the most wonderful moment of my life. I let it slip to my mum, and he to his sister. Not telling anyone else though.

Have a good day everyone.

I have a couple of very close friends in RL who started TTC around the same time we did. We were all convinced we'd fall PG straight away and be on maternity leave together. Ha! Strange how we're all still trying

One of my friends has told absolutely everyone she knows, which I couldn't do personally. They've even sold their lovely car for a sensible family sized estate. But that's the way they are. My other friend has told just her very close circle of friends, as have I. I could never not have told her. We share everything. I'd be very hurt if she'd been trying for years without sharing this with me, but I'd also understand why she'd want to keep it private.

We haven't told either sets of parents. I'd tell the in laws if they asked. They're adorable. But my FIL would wind up DH because he'd often ask all the time. My parents would be a nightmare. My dad would be a sweetie, but Mum would be ridiculous. I just couldn't deal with her.

Ahh we live in Norfolk so that wouldnt be anything unusual

Sorry I misread DD2. No, you're not the only one. We don't notice it either but when we went to buy a new car recently the boy commented, "I wish my dad would buy me a car..." Hilarious when my DP squeezed my bum on the way out!!

Hopefully it will no.4!!! Already have 3dd's, so one more and i'll be finished! Im not the only one with a large age gap relationship then! We dont notice it and he does look young for his age but as my dad is only 11 months older than dp it can get confusing for strangers!!

It's annoying when people comment - it's not of their business. It's not like they have to carry a baby around for 9 months, wake during the night or worry about teething!! Oliviaeleanasmum: my DP feels as though he is getting old too - he is 48 and i'm 22, so he's right!! Sorry to hear about the mcs. Best of luck for no3. X

We are seeing what happens too, dd3 is only 16 weeks but i have had 2 mc between her and dd2 (2.8) and as i have pcos and was told i was likely infertile after dd2 it may take a while or never happen again. Dp wants to have one in the next few years or we will stop as he feels he is getting to old, he is 43 and im 25.
Dp's family also lectured us when i fell pg with dd3 as they felt we couldnt afford another However we are getting on swimmingly

We have been TTC (well 'seeing what happens') for a few months now and still nothing. DD1 is 27 months. Had my last period on 6th of Jan..this was also my last period when i concieved with her so if we're lucky this month then they might have the same birthday

i am a closet TTCer aswell!! me and DH decided to keep it quiet as we were hoping for a xmas BFP which i didnt get but we still havent told anyone cos i dont want to be constantly questioned and pressured. we kept TTC our DD quiet aswell so it was nice to see the surprise on everyones face. also i am at uni and up to now everyone is sayin we should wait whenever the subject is raised. me and DH have got other ideas though as we dont want a huge age gap between our DCs.
xx ei xx

ttc my second dc and have not told a soul.
I am 37 years old and I am not taking it for granted I will concieve easily may take ages or not happen.

Don't want people sitting thinking why it hasn't happend then.

Hope you all get your BFP.

ttc my second dc and have not told a soul.
I am 37 years old and I am not taking it for granted I will concieve easily may take ages or not happen.

Don't want people sitting thinking why it hasn't happend then.

Hope you all get your BFP.

Another closet ttc lady here! I have a gorgeous 9 month old conceived through ivf an am just praying now for a natural miracle. Cant cope with the constant questions from friends and family so have just said we are stopping at one. Doubt it will happen anyway but i can hope and hey its fun trying without ivf!! Goo luck to you all x

I was thinking along the same lines as Shrek!

It would never have crossed my mind to tell people when we were trying for a baby. It's nobody's business except me an dh's! Unless we were having problems which might require intervention, then I would just keep it b/w me and dh.

I was gobsmacked when my neice (6) told me that my B&Sil would be trying for another baby after their summer holidays. I just didn't think it was something that was talked about, and certainly not with young children. TMI!

Why did she hit the roof and what has it got to do with her?

I didn't think anyone necessarily told friends and family they wer ttc. We certainly didn't...I didn't want all and sundry to know we were at it like rampant rabbits.

I thought the question was going to be are you (i,e, the women) secretly ttc without DP/DH's 'knowledge'.

Last September I told my mum that my period was two weeks late and she hit the roof, even though I also told her that I'd done 2 pregnancy tests and they were both negative! I thought she'd be more supportive so I'm all for trying for the next baby and not telling anyone.

DH and I were at a wedding recently where the groom was freely telling everyone how keen they were to have children. I'm probably a bit warped by our experience but we were both thinking "Nooooooo!!!! Don't tell everyone!!!!!", because then it becomes so obvious if children aren't forthcoming.
Besides which, if you tell everyone that you're TTC, you're really saying "we shag without contraception" which is a bit TMI for RL I think.

Marne Be proud and say it was planned. If the family disapprove I think they will be more insulting if they think you had an accident.

Good luck to all those trying.

marne your dh should not be bothered by what his family says, i am 29 and my dp is 42.
we have been together 10yrs this year and have 2 dd's and trying for our third ........we are not telling anyone but not for their sake just ours (we told everyone last time and then i had MC, cant face everyones pity again)............... but i would tell his family it was planned so they know how strong you are together ..............lets face it they prob still moan planned or not!
good luck.

I am also a "closet ttcer". All friends are convinced we will never have children so am hoping one day (hopefully in the not too distant future) to shock them all ! Had to tell BF as she kind of guessed - she knows me like a sister and was overjoyed !

We didn't tell in RL for DD (turned out we had massive fertility problems so ended up telling a select few). Was really glad that we kept it so secret as I would have hated to have had to explained to everyone why I wasn't pregnant. Now about to TTC number two, but it's unlikely to happen, so only our parents know (well, and you lot!).

We haven't told anyone in RL at all we are TTC - no friends and/or family. I don;t want the pressure or the comments/interferance.