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Conception

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Original poster

My IUI cycles might have taken the want for children out of me

309 replies

Cactizone · 05/05/2022 22:17

Is this ridiculous? Am I being weak? Have I just spent thousands of pounds to learn that I don't want this? Or is it just that it's stressful, degrading (I find it this way personally, I hope not everyone does) and leads to obsessive compulsive, and frankly angry fretting / planning about the next cycle.
I've only done 2 and I despise the procedure itself (and dealing with all the endless calls to the perfectly nice clinic staff) so much that It's almost enough to make me throw in the towel.

Maybe because I'm stuck in the gritty reality of percentages and ratios of conceiving and so far removed from anything natural or spontaneous but it's changed my perspective. It seems pretty hopeless. Does anyone else feel this way? I don't want to keep bleeding (ha) money into this, its so expensive, but I don't want to stop either, the idea of giving up brings out a special kind of sadness and anxiety.

Maybe I'm the problem underneath it all, and have areas of mental health to work on undoubtably, but compared to the giddy excitement and trepidation and 'bring it on' vibes of starting, looking at going through the procedure of round 3 feels like signing myself up to pay a grand for people to make me feel pain for no reward.

Sorry for the bleak vibes, just needed to wring out my mind sponge.😐

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Original poster
Cactizone · 22/05/2022 06:40

@RMS0209 Ain’t that always the way 😂 I think going with your gut is important, and being aware that no matter which clinic you may need to chase them up anyway, there weren’t many reviews for mine and I had to do A LOT of pestering phone calls to get things done. Sadly that seems to be what they respond to best…

If you go with a clinic you’re not sure about is there a chance you’ll feel extra resentful / untrusting of them? If so wait the extra time and remove that stress option from your mind.
Equally waiting is hard and the impatience is real 😂

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RMS0209 · 21/05/2022 21:41

@Totorotoes @Cactizone

Oh that's great! I am cycle day 16 today... wouldn't say I'm near ovulation though hopefully I get a peak soon! My cycles vary a little!
That's good I feel a lot better knowing this is the exact same tests as you got.
BUT I am in a pickle now so I need advice/help... the clinic I was looking at and have booked (Not paid yet) is the GCRM in Glasgow... but I have read some really mixed reviews a few quite bad about not getting support or kept in contact etc
BUT I found the GRFI (Glasgow royal fertility clinic) also will see me... I emailed them and they got back to me, the wait for tests are between 4/6 weeks... on the HFEA website the GFRI has a 4.5/5 rating but they have the NHS referrals too.
The GCRM has a 3/5I'm in a pickle of what to do? ... I've went from having 0 clinics to 2, the lady was super nice though she said she will call me on Mondays for a chat. So tonight's rabbit hole will be comparing both clinics and reading multiple reviews 😄
Ps sorry for the long message I'm just in a little pickle and want to make sure I make the best decision.
A plus side to the GCRM is they have mobile clinics where I live (3.5hrs from Glasgow) which can:
The following appointments can take place at the satellite:
• Blood tests
• Scan appointments
• Pregnancy scans

All patients will have to attend our Glasgow clinic for their egg collection and embryo transfer appointment and for ovarian assessment and semen analysis.

X

Totorotoes · 21/05/2022 20:01

@RMS0209 I'm cycle day 13 today, last month I ovulated cd16 so hopefully may be Tuesday or Wednesday 🤞
That's great news about your scan and tests, yes they were the ones I had. I don't think I had progesterone done so that's a bonus for you! It's good to get a bit of clarity about what's going on in there!
@roro87 congratulations on your DS, at least you perhaps have a head start in that your consultant may already know what meds (if any) you need, from last time...but must be daunting when you know how hard it was for you last time, I have nothing to compare to so am niaively hopeful! I hope that this time it works really quickly for you, especially as you have to cope with it all whilst looking after your little one.

roro87 · 21/05/2022 10:17

This just hit home.

I'm exhausted.. that's basically what I'm hearing and how I feel also. We are due to start IUI soon just been diagnosed with pcos.

Took 20 months to conceive ds now 9m and counting this time.

It really take it out of you and I've no advice I can really give you apart from mind yourself and be kind.

RMS0209 · 21/05/2022 09:30

@Totorotoes
This is fantastic news! Absolutely delighted for you.
Fingers crossed for no ovulation this weekend - I am so excited for you!! Eeeee.
What cycle day are you at the moment? I ovulate differently every month so it's very frustrating 😂 but I do have one of those Ovusense's so it's my 2nd month using it to track it's very good.

Yeah they got back to me! So I have booked in for... an ultrasound scan & an AMH blood test.
I am getting my progesterone (day 21 bloods) once I have ovulated! (Through my doctor remember) That is the same tests as you've had is it?
Finally feel like I am getting somewhere so I am delighted! Although I need to stay off internet searches as the reviews are rather mixed ☹️ x

Totorotoes · 20/05/2022 18:55

@RMS0209 🤣🤣 of course I will!! Well, I'm pretty chuffed with my news today as I have got a lead follicle which is 16.3mm, so it is ripening nicely! All on track for early next week, as long as I don't ovulate later on Saturday as clinic isn't open on Sunday. But, I'm fairly hopeful! So exciting.
Really pleased your clinic got back to you, what did they say?

RMS0209 · 20/05/2022 09:47

Morning @Totorotoes & @Cactizone

So good news.. they have got back to me!
But today isn't my day... it's all about you @Totorotoes good luck for your results please keep us updated!!
Ps if you win £184million just you remember your new friend in Scotland 😂

Totorotoes · 19/05/2022 19:17

Hi @RMS0209 I hope they get back to you soon, I am sure they will especially as you're a paying customer. And hopefully it will mean less waiting in the long run!
As far as I know my test results are back, but negative me is still expecting to turn up and be sent home tomorrow! I'll let you know how I get on. Imagine winning £184 million, it's crazy!! That's the kind of luck I need 😁

RMS0209 · 19/05/2022 12:02

@Totorotoes morning, yeah definitely I mean it was just a "hi i filled in a referral do i need to do anything else" and they said no somebody will be in touch, so if nothing by Friday I will phone on Monday AM Smile
I am glad I'm not the only impatient person! Have you had any results sent back yet? how is it looking?

Hopefully this is your time to shine!! you might be like that lucky couple in England that won 184 million on the lottery!!! x

Totorotoes · 18/05/2022 19:01

Totorotoes · 18/05/2022 18:52

@RMS0209 that's really exciting, I bet you feel excited now you've spoken to them! Suddenly feels real! I hope they email you back soon, this journey has taught me how impatient I am- once I've sent an email, I want a reply straight away as well!
I'm feeling more than ready t

Doh sent too soon! Fat fingers 🤣

As I was saying...I feel more than ready to start! I swing from imagining it will work first time...I know it is unlikely really...to thinking it will fail...a bit like every time I play the lottery...it's exhausting and I haven't even started 🥴

@Cactizone I spent over a year trying to decide whether to do this solo or not, and then whether to adopt or ttc. The indecision was unbearable, it is much better once the decision is made. Hopefully you will realise which way is right for you, I normally make the wrong decision then have a panic and that's how I know which one is right! 😂

Totorotoes · 18/05/2022 18:52

@RMS0209 that's really exciting, I bet you feel excited now you've spoken to them! Suddenly feels real! I hope they email you back soon, this journey has taught me how impatient I am- once I've sent an email, I want a reply straight away as well!
I'm feeling more than ready t

Original poster
Cactizone · 18/05/2022 07:09

@Totorotoes
it’s funny I know someone with a similar story to that! If that’s my fate I’m okay with it, I’d just like to know how I feel for sure 😅 I’ll have to be patient for now

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Original poster
Cactizone · 18/05/2022 07:07

@RMS0209
Thats such good news!!! What a relief!
The clinic might suggest tests of their own and my ones of those happened in-house. If you’re using donor sperm at all then you could see about getting a CMV test because that really narrows your pool of donors.

I did eventually call them and I have a call either the doctor towards the end of the month, so we’ll see what his impressions are and go from there…

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RMS0209 · 17/05/2022 20:09

@Totorotoes I honeslty feel such a sense of relief... I just gave a quick call to double check no referral and they confirmed,so I have filled in an application online and tonight I'm that crazy lady that keeps checking her emails 😂🤞🏻

Thanks for the advice on those tests, something for me to look into tonight and see what I can find.

How are you feeling about it all?! X

Totorotoes · 17/05/2022 20:04

@RMS0209 that's fantastic news about the clinic!! 🥳 so glad you don't need a referral for it.

I'm afraid I'm very much a beginner at this so I don't know what you need to get. I know my clinic insists on STD/HIV test (they include it in the package price, but some clinics don't), so that might be helpful and save some money! It's also helpful to get AMH, LH, FSH done but I am not sure if GPs can do them- I would imagine so though? Also thyroid function? I think FSH has to be done on day 2-3 of cycle but I might be wrong....your GP may actually know, although it sounds like it might take them a while to agree to it! Good luck!!

RMS0209 · 17/05/2022 19:46

@Totorotoes
Oh I am just delighted to hear this!
WOW... really hope your bloods come back soonest so you can get going, that would be brilliant.

In other good news... I have found a fertility clinic HFEA approved and does not require a referral from Dr and is in Scotland! 😀 🤞🏻

@Cactizone & @Totorotoes can I ask you both... is there any tests I need to try push my DR with to try get help before I hopefully get a consultation with this clinic? I will have my progesterone test but not sure what else to try ask/push for. X

Totorotoes · 17/05/2022 19:16

@RMS0209 it went well thank you! If my blood tests come back before Friday then I can start this cycle!! Meaning it could happen as soon as next week 🤞
@Cactizone I'm glad you are feeling ok, there is no right or wrong answer. I know someone who went through the adoption process, got matched with 3 children but they all fell through (no fault of hers) and she was gutted, but the whole process made her realise that she had made peace with not having children, and so she pulled out and now she is quite happily childfree. Sometimes the process helps give you clarity, even though it's not always what you expect!

RMS0209 · 17/05/2022 11:31

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RMS0209 · 17/05/2022 07:46

@Cactizone
Thank you very much - I am hoping the Dane too; genuinely thought it would be so much easier wanting to go self funded but hey ho.

Did you phone the clinic again? I can't remember if you told me already..: sorry!
Yay for positive thoughts x

RMS0209 · 17/05/2022 07:44

@Totorotoes sending you lots of luck for today! let us know how you get on. X

Original poster
Cactizone · 16/05/2022 21:25

@RMS0209
Aahhh I see! Damn well I hope that when 7th June comes around there is less push back, its ridiculous if you’re willing to pay that you need to jump through hoops too!
I don’t know really, on the one hand I really want it and to have a little tag along, on the other I still think about the procedure the cost and how my life will change. I’m feeling some of the desire to TTC come back which is a positive, so there’s hope! 😅

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Totorotoes · 16/05/2022 18:41

@Cactizone I really hope you get some clarity, being unsure is the hardest place to be.
@RMS0209 thank you! It's so nice to have positive reactions, I need all the positivity I can at the moment. Hopefully tomorrow I will get the go ahead. I think I'm all set to go, I'm cycle tracking and have the sperm so that's the most important bit!
Sorry for the confusion- it's good advice to see if you can hop across the border to get seen faster, but I guess it depends how far the journey is because you'll probably have lots of scans etc.
@JulesRimetStillGleaming how are you feeling? Did you find any help on the fb group?

RMS0209 · 15/05/2022 22:10

@Totorotoes this is great! I am so impressed, go you, sending all the luck.
Aslong as you have fab friends and family what more could you need.
Hi English neighbour! 👋 😂
I really hope you do get atleast 1 round on the NHS that would be a big help I guess.
Eeee that would be so exciting if you can get it in the next few weeks, do you feel all set and ready?
Yeah I'm not having the greatest time dr wise, that and I have to wait 3.5 weeks sometimes longer for an app it doesn't help, just trying to stay positive though and not stress!
I wish Scotland had the option of just going straight, the clinic wouldn't even entertain me with an initial consultation until I've had a referral.. would have been nice to speak to them but hey ho. Definitely going to look into moving GP if my call in a few weeks doesn't go as planned.

@Cactizone it is really funny you say that! I already had a thought of... why don't I see if I can get any help in England... I'm not the most keen on going abroad but I'd happily go to England if need be, but that's my last last resort if I don't get any support.

How are you feeling now? Do you feel any better? X

RMS0209 · 15/05/2022 22:04

@Totorotoes @Cactizone sorry ladies just re read what I wrote think I confused you both... I fought for the 2.5 months for a progesterone test and that's him now finally agreed! My call with him to discuss IUI self funded is 7th June, I am feeling very anxious about it already... I just know I'll get the usual "try for a few more months" but I just don't have it in me!

I'm away to read both your messages and reply.
It feels so wonderful having people to talk to about it, thank you both so much. X

Original poster
Cactizone · 15/05/2022 22:00

@Totorotoes
Thank you, I think a rest is needed, I’ve still got a lot of mixed feelings
🤞🤞🤞 for your upcoming cycle! I hope it works out for you!

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