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Original poster

My IUI cycles might have taken the want for children out of me

309 replies

Cactizone · 05/05/2022 22:17

Is this ridiculous? Am I being weak? Have I just spent thousands of pounds to learn that I don't want this? Or is it just that it's stressful, degrading (I find it this way personally, I hope not everyone does) and leads to obsessive compulsive, and frankly angry fretting / planning about the next cycle.
I've only done 2 and I despise the procedure itself (and dealing with all the endless calls to the perfectly nice clinic staff) so much that It's almost enough to make me throw in the towel.

Maybe because I'm stuck in the gritty reality of percentages and ratios of conceiving and so far removed from anything natural or spontaneous but it's changed my perspective. It seems pretty hopeless. Does anyone else feel this way? I don't want to keep bleeding (ha) money into this, its so expensive, but I don't want to stop either, the idea of giving up brings out a special kind of sadness and anxiety.

Maybe I'm the problem underneath it all, and have areas of mental health to work on undoubtably, but compared to the giddy excitement and trepidation and 'bring it on' vibes of starting, looking at going through the procedure of round 3 feels like signing myself up to pay a grand for people to make me feel pain for no reward.

Sorry for the bleak vibes, just needed to wring out my mind sponge.😐

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Original poster
Cactizone · 12/11/2022 12:30

@roro87 good luck for December!

@Totorotoes thank you I shall defo take your advice!

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Totorotoes · 12/11/2022 10:17

@roro87 congratulations on your house move- I did the same last Christmas so I know how exhausting it is! And that's great news about starting letrozole soon, especially good to get started before Christmas!
So, beetroot and pomegranate juice are supposed to be good for thickening the womb lining, and brazil nuts have something in them that may help implantation I think? However, there is no actual evidence they really work and I personally tend to think they probably make no difference whatsoever...however, I still did it, as well as pineapple core to aid implantation, because I think we are all just so desperate at this stage that we will try anything! And it's nice to be in control of something at least! 😂🥴

roro87 · 11/11/2022 23:29

Also what's beetroot,pomegranate and Brazil nuts good for?

roro87 · 11/11/2022 22:21

Hi All,

So sorry we've been moving, so super busy and crash into bed each night.

CONGRATULATIONS 🎊 @Totorotoes so so happy for you.

@RMS0209 best of luck x everything crossed for you.

@Cactizone enjoy your time off.

My update is cyst is going so December cycle will be my first letrozole cycle. Originally he suggested 6 but now recommending 3 then ivf.

Totorotoes · 11/11/2022 19:15

@Cactizone yes! Just the chance not to be woken up by an alarm in the mornings will do you the world of good. I prescribe lots of Netflix and tea for you!

Original poster
Cactizone · 10/11/2022 21:00

@Totorotoes
Just taking some time off, but each lie in will be satisfying enough that it will feel like a holiday away I reckon!

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Totorotoes · 10/11/2022 13:56

@Cactizone that is so true! Today is definitely a zero-chill day 🤣
I hope you have a lovely holiday, are you going away or just having a break at home? Hopefully you can completely forget about work for a while!! X

Original poster
Cactizone · 10/11/2022 08:23

@Totorotoes
there will be no chill 😂 I’m not sure any amount of testing can be enough until there’s actually a baby in front of you, or that’s how I reckon I’d feel!
I hope your symptoms continue to give you comfort if not comfortableness!
luckily I am going on holiday tomorrow so that’s a relief 😅

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Totorotoes · 09/11/2022 20:48

@RMS0209 and @Cactizone thank you!!
@RMS0209 I totally understand, I was sick to death of pomegranate juice and brazil nuts by my transfer...had to stop the beetroot because I knew i would hate it forever if I kept it up. Bleugh. Also did pineapple post transfer, but that was lovely! Fingers crossed you get to transfer soon, how exciting!!
@Cactizone sorry you've been so busy, are you enjoying your new job though? I feel like you need a holiday soon, new jobs are exhausting!
I am at expert level of over-analysing! 😂 Honestly, I am aware of every little twinge! Fortunately i have had nausea, food aversions and heartburn since 3dp5dt so as long as they are there I feel a bit more reassured! I've decided I'll test on sunday at 5w, and if it's a good positive then I will chill out. I promise. Maybe. (NB: I definitely won't be chill) 🤪

Original poster
Cactizone · 09/11/2022 12:43

Hello @RMS0209 @Totorotoes
sorry for being out of the loop again, my new job has been a stressful beginning!
I have been thinking about you both
@Totorotoes that’s such great news! How are you coping with the over-analysing?
@RMS0209 not long to wait hopefully it goes by quick! Are you feeling good about the transfer?

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RMS0209 · 09/11/2022 08:54

@Totorotoes HELLO! Oh my goodness, I am absolutely delighted for you - this is wonderful!! oh me what great news for a Wednesday.
Yes just you relax!!

I'm ok thanks, I am cycle day....14 (remember my cycles are long sometimes day 20/26 for ovulation) blood tests started on Friday, todays was cancelled but going in again on Friday for one and hoping to transfer in the next 2 weeks! I can't wait to stop drinking pomegranate juice and eating brazil nuts ha ha x

Totorotoes · 09/11/2022 07:41

@RMS0209 hello old chum! 👋 what is new with you?
I've got exciting news- I had my transfer done on 28th Oct, and got a BFP!!! After last time I am unable to just enjoy it as I am over analysing every cramp, I am 4+3 today which is when I had my chemical so I'm hoping after this weekend I will relax a bit. Having lots of symptoms already which I hope is a good sign!! 🤞🤪

My IUI cycles might have taken the want for children out of me
My IUI cycles might have taken the want for children out of me
RMS0209 · 09/11/2022 06:51

@Totorotoes @roro87 @Cactizone

RMS0209 · 09/11/2022 06:50

Hey ladies!! How are we all?! So sorry for the quietness x

Totorotoes · 20/10/2022 18:50

How is everyone? Hope you are all ok. My natural FET cycle plodding along, might trigger tomorrow 🤞 then it will be 7 days til transfer

Totorotoes · 12/10/2022 18:49

Hello! 👋
@roro87 very exciting about the house, it sounds like you will be in soon and then you can look forward to Christmas in your new home 😁
@RMS0209 I'm going to be a hypocrite here and say- don't worry, it's not long, time will fly! <- said by the most impatient person ever (but seriously, it gives you time to prepare and it really isn't too far away) 🤪

RMS0209 · 11/10/2022 09:14

@roro87 hello! fingers crossed you can get in on the 28th, how exciting.. how lovely to be kept busy too ha ha.
I'm ok thank you.
I think my transfer well I don't think I know my transfer will be in November, I am only cycle day 20 today (if my last cycle is anything to go by 44 days.. :( ) so I am on the "starting" list at my clinic for November so now it is a waiting game.. I am excited but nervous, now I just need a time machine. x

roro87 · 10/10/2022 21:53

@RMS0209 I'm good, we are trying to get our new house ready to move into, lots to do. Hoping to be in for the 28th. How are you? Is your frozen transfer this month?

RMS0209 · 10/10/2022 21:51

How are we all?!
@Totorotoes @roro87 @Cactizone x

Totorotoes · 02/10/2022 18:58

@RMS0209 I'm Ok, thank you for asking. I've been up and down, sometimes feeling fine then a bit weepy, or angry, or despairing that it will never happen for me. But, I've got a lovely group of friends and my sister who have been really kind and at the moment I'm feeling much better.
I've got a consultation on Wednesday with the consultant and I'm really hoping I can go ahead again this month, although fighting now with the feeling that this will never work!
Hope that you are all doing well 😊 x

RMS0209 · 02/10/2022 10:59

@Totorotoes how are you doing? Thinking of you. X

Totorotoes · 28/09/2022 18:34

@RMS0209 thank you. I have told work I'm not going in the rest of the week, I expect I'll feel worse once I stop the progesterone. Keep getting tearful but not sure it has fully sunk in yet. I'm glad it happened now rather than later as it is so early but still it is sad.

RMS0209 · 28/09/2022 17:33

Hi @roro87 new clinic sounds good, excited for you... hoping this nasty cyst goes away pronto for you to get started.

@Totorotoes I am so sorry, I am sending you the biggest virtual hug. Take some time for you... time off and relax thinking of you today. Here if you need to rant vent or anything xx

Totorotoes · 28/09/2022 16:36

@roro87 thank you, yes it is shitty but I will mope for a while then get a plan together. I'm going to take a day or 2 off work, I imagine once I come off the progesterone I will bleed a lot. I won't miss those nasty little bullets!! Feeling sorry for myself but I am a natural pessimist so I half expected it.

roro87 · 28/09/2022 16:13

@Totorotoes oh no my heart goes out to you. I'm here if you ever need to talk. It's so shitty. Be super kind to yourself.