Page 10 | 3catstoo - Over here!!!

3catstoo · 11/02/2008 14:57

Did you have a fab day Ready?

Hi City. I feel much better thanks.

cityangel · 10/02/2008 01:13

Happy Birthday Ready

I hope you stop aching soon 3catstoo...

3catstoo · 09/02/2008 21:10

Happy Birthday for tomorrow Ready.

Rash all now. I think it was part of this virus. Still aching but feel much better.

Original poster

Ready · 08/02/2008 20:46

I think that it is important to get some alone time with dh, and talk things through. I also think it is important to be completely open with him about how you are feeling, tell him that you feel as if he doesn't fancy you anymore.

I do hope that your rash clears up - that could be a sign of stress? and getting ill is because your defences are low.

You really are going through the mill at the moment aren't you I do hope you turn a corner soon. Thinking of you!

It's my birthday sunday, so dh planned a day of activities, and I have no idea what yet - but looking forward to it anyway

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3catstoo · 08/02/2008 12:34

Thank you for your concern and support Ready and City.

I am worried about the state of my relationship with DH too. I think the main problem is that he thinks everything is fine. It will be good to talk things through without children around. There's nothing worse than needing to talk/argue/debate but having to think about what the children are hearing. We tend not to discuss too much in front of them. When they are around they consume all of the time so it is impossible to talk to eachother. Probably also where the problem lies. The children are our (especially mine) lives and we have kind of drifted apart without realising.

Well the migraine I think was actually the same bug as the children had. I had a high temp, was shivering, aching limbs, feel sick, sore throat, headache etc. All the same as the current bug that has swept through school.
Also have a red rash over my chest, tummy and back.
Hoping it will be short lived and I will back on form for the weekend.

Have you both got busy weekends planned?

cityangel · 07/02/2008 23:39

Oh 3catstoo I am worried about you. I hope the time together helps. Are there any options to talk it through with a third party if things get tough?

3catstoo · 07/02/2008 13:44

Hope England winning meant you had a fab evening Ready .

I have a migraine today. Strange day to have one. Can't be cycle related .

I thought DH might pay me some attention last night. He got some exercise, England won, I thought that might spur him on. But no, he chose to sit in front of the tv for a whole hour after I went to bed (which wasn't early either).

I think perhaps he just doesn't 'fancy' me anymore.

It makes the attention from elsewhere seem so much more welcome (does that make sense?).

Still no further than before on that front either but makes me feel wanted nevertheless.

I think maybe DH and I have just grown apart after 13 years and it's only just beginning to show (to me anyway, he's oblivious).

We will get to spend some time alone together in a few weeks time, so I'm hoping we can air a few issues and better our relationship.

cityangel · 06/02/2008 23:01

Original poster

Ready · 06/02/2008 21:27

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cityangel · 06/02/2008 21:16

Congratulations Ready fingers crossed with the formalities Really pleased for you and you can have wine and rampant nookie to celebrate!

Hey 3catstoo keep us updated I hope things are getting better

Half way to the weekend

Original poster

Ready · 06/02/2008 21:05

Oh no if you need to say more 3cats, feel free. A problem shared and that? Don't worry about going on, you really aren't - I would tell you if you were!!

Have been told that the pouncing must wait until England have finished playing. Fine with me... glass of grenache, ah thankyou

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3catstoo · 06/02/2008 19:42

Huge Congrats Ready. Well done you .

Hope the pouncing works .

Hi City, good luck with those results.

I'm fine. No change. Won't go on about it.

Original poster

Ready · 06/02/2008 17:31

Hope the results come back quickly for your City, must be worrying.

3cats, hope you are ok?

I got offered the job, subject to the usual security clearance and health checks, but been through those before and come out the other side, so feeling chuffed

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cityangel · 05/02/2008 23:43

hi sneaks in...

I hope you are both doing ok.

I am bumbling along... bumble bumble

Have just about recovered from my mole removal now just waiting for the results

Well off to bed to tame the snoring monster!

If you fancy some laughs go and see Spamalot really funny!

Original poster

Ready · 05/02/2008 20:21

Crikey! Your dh must be working too hard! In bed by nine.
I am sorry that the urge for another has not gone away... perhaps I should re-phrase that. I am no sorry, because there is nothing wrong with wanting another... I just mean that with everything that you are going through, it must be tremendously difficult to deal with the added factor of wanting another baby.

Hope you are ok? How's the wax-job? The bumps all gone?

Got a + the last two days on OPKs (well, I think they are +, as dark as the control, but not quite as thick - see what tomorrow brings to confirm or not) but as soon as dh gets in, I am going to pounce It has to happen for us soon... doesn't it?

I used to love it as a child when it snowed and we would listen to the radio in the mornings to find out if the school was closed

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3catstoo · 04/02/2008 12:49

No snow here either, although they keep promising!

Probably won't be trying this month. I need a marriage that's working before I think about ttc again. The feeling of wanting another hasn't gone away though despite the turbulance!

DH had no interest at the weekend. He was asleep at 9 last night.

It was feb last year that it snowed here. The school was closed and the children got to make snowmen all day. It was fab. Hopefully they will get to do it again this year.

Original poster

Ready · 04/02/2008 08:47

Good for you 3cats... deny the helping hand I definitely think he should be more considerate of your needs, rather than just his own.
Sorry that it is AF, but you kinda knew because of the antibiotics didn't you that the chance would be slim? Fingers crossed for you this month, if you will be trying that is
Weekend was good here - still no snow though

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3catstoo · 02/02/2008 22:06

Sorry you haven't heard about the job Ready. I wouldn't think of it as a bad thing. Did they say they would let you know either way?
Sometimes it takes a while and it also depends how many candidates they had and how quickly they were all seen.

I'm glad you think DH is wrong to be on the receiving end and not consider me at all.

I might have to do as you say and stop initiating. AF at the moment so it's easy for me to withold. Although thta's when he usually wakes up in the morning (if it's a weekend) and asks for my helping hand !!!
I won't oblige if he does this time though.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Original poster

Ready · 02/02/2008 10:50

Sorry, but that is not fair. Satisfying him and then he falls asleep - anybody would get frustrated with that. Certainly explains why he doesn't think there is a problem, he's getting plenty - perhaps you need to suggest he goes down first
He clearly has a stressful job, and I definitely think that will have an effect on him, but to the point where he gets his kicks and then rolls over, no no no no!
The only thing I can suggest (and it might take a lot of willpower) is to stop instigating things, and see what happens. Of course you run the risk of getting nothing at all - which I know isn't what you want - but if he knows it is "on tap" and doesn't have to work for it, then he's probably making the most of it. ??

You don't go on at all - if it is worrying you then why shouldn't you get it off your chest? Goodness knows I go on enough about still not being able to conceive a baby after all these months

Oh, and still haven't heard about the job... is that bad news do you think?

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3catstoo · 01/02/2008 19:59

I didn't go swimming in the end, my friend was poorly and I didn't brave it on my own.

Thanks for the exfoliating tip though, I will invest in a sponge when I'm next in Boots.

I wish it was a case of quality over quantity . He's satisfied but I'm not. It's all a bit one sided suddenly.
He's happy to receive, put it that way, then rolls over and falls asleep. It only happens on Fridays and Saturdays .

I think you are right, his work related stress and heaps of travelling are having a huge effect. Although he doesn't see that because he thinks everything is hunky dory!

TMI alert..........

He thinks it's fine for me to perform oral sex and for him to fall asleep straight away. I make the first and last move and still end up being frustrated.

A friend in RL has suggested that maybe he is having an affair. It's possible but I don't think he is. It would probably make it easier in a bizarre way.

He was mortified when I said I would like to take him up on his idea of buying me a vibrator. He doesn't think I need one he was joking apparently when he suggested it.

Sorry I do go on. We've never hit a rough patch like this in our 13 years together.

He's out drinking tonight so I'll see if he's amorous when he gets back drunk (never works though as his mind and body have different ideas ).

Anyway, it's the weekend, something to be thankful for.
Have a good one.

Thanks so much for your support Ready, it really does help to chat to someone about it.

Original poster

Ready · 01/02/2008 17:12

talk with... not... talk to - that was all wrong

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Original poster

Ready · 01/02/2008 17:11

3cats, pmsl, yes, I was referring to your head hair - since you have dark hair I would reiterate what I said about exfoliation - prevention is better than cure. Ingrown hairs are nasty I use an exfoliating sponge (a regular one with a rough side) and gently rub across the area in a circular motion, you don't have to get the exfoliating lotions if you don't want. The little red dots are just the skin freaking out, it will calm down Don't know about primrose oil benefits, but would say that any "soothing" oil should help.
Hope the chlorine didn't give you a reaction?

I am pleased that you had a talk to your dh - definitely good to open the lines of communication I am sure that I have read (probably Cosmo, or something, so not necessarily scientifically proven ) that men's libido decreases with age, and women's increases - which seems rather odd for evolutionary purposes ... but it would certainly make sense with your situation

You don't sound sex mad at all. Sex is a crucial part of a relationship, imo, but if it is natural for the woman to start wanting more, but the man to start wanting less, somewhere in there has to come compromise.
I would also dare to venture that a stressful job can certainly have an effect on anyone's libido (man or woman).
A declining libido shouldn't translate that he has a lack of interest. Perhaps he is happy with quality over quantity
Is it possible that your strong sexual need is a way seeking reassurance of your relationship as a whole, more than just that of purely physical need? I may be way off here - apologies if I am - but when you were first married you may have had plenty of action, and is it possible that in your mind the declining amount is translating somehow as declining feeling?? I guess you saying his "lack of interest" made me think that it might be more than just a physical thing?? Sorry again if I have misinterpreted you.

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3catstoo · 31/01/2008 10:50

Thanks Ready. Yes I have almost black hair, very thick (on my head that is).
The redness has gone down a bit today but I can see a tiny red dot where every hair was .
Exfoliate down there? I'm new to all this.
She told me to use sudocream. I have to go out and get some. Would evening primrose oil help or is that a daft question?

No mention of swimming and I'm meant to be going tonight .

AF arrived this morning. To be honest I'm a bit relieved in light of recent events. Still want number 4 but think I need to get my life in order.

Had a chat to DH last night. He thinks everything is fine between us. He suggested buying me a 'rampant rabbit' to bridge the gap between his ever decreasing libido and my increasing libido.

I might take him up on it to see his reaction.

He thought we had done quite well to get through 13 years before reaching this point.

I dread to think what he'll be like when he's in his 50's. He's 38 now and I'm 33. Never thought I would be having these sort of conversations at this age and worrying about DHs lack of interest. He just can't see the problem.

Do I sound like a sex mad deprived woman? (I feel that way actually - don't know what's happened to me) .

I think after having 3 children and breastfeeding each one for 18 months my body has only just recovered. Well that's my explanation anyway? Maybe it's my body craving for another baby .

Is this normal what I am going through, do you think?

Original poster

Ready · 30/01/2008 18:27

Do you have dark hair 3cats? I do, and I tend to get more ingrown hairs as a result, the darker the hair the thicker it is I think - so definitely recommend LOTS of exfoliation, daily would not be overdoing it in my opinion to stop offending ingrowers. As for the redness, which is really what you wanted to know... it usually goes down by the next day, but did they say anything about swimming within a certain time? Never thought about the chlorine y'see? and wondered. Redness will go, promise

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3catstoo · 30/01/2008 18:13

Hi girls.

Sounds like you had a fab weekend Ready .

City, sorry to hear about your grandma. Fingers crossed for you re the biopsy.

I'm fine. AF is late but looming. No more migraines strangely. I usually get more than one around AF time.

Don't laugh now but I had my first bikini wax today. Boy am I red down there. Just a standard wax nothing fancy. Please tell me that this redness will go away?

I thought it would be a good idea as I'm swimming lots and am always concerned about showing more than i'd like when I get out of the pool. Now I'll have a lovely red rash to show off instead .

Lovely names that Mrsmc and Seaside have chosen. Hope they are both well and enjoying motherhood .