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Original poster

Medical termination and ttc

110 replies

Cakesnbiscuit · 20/03/2022 19:31

Has anyone else had to have a medical termination then ttc again?

I am absolutely petrified to ttc again incase the same issue arises but I desperately want another baby. I’m not sure I can put myself through the pain again but the overwhelming urge to have a child isn’t going away.

I’m heartbroken and grieving as it was recently which isn’t helping.

OP posts:
RMS0209 · 21/03/2022 14:01

@Cakesnbiscuit it's just horrible now it's all I want and I know come Sunday when I test I get upset it's negative then I get really positive when it comes to trying again mid next month then I get the same again Sad wish it was simple x

Original poster
Cakesnbiscuit · 21/03/2022 13:19

@RMS0209 completely get that it’s almost like self
Sabotage, you are ttc but not enough, as you want the baby but really scared of the pregnancy. I have been in that head space and it was so odd. Sad I wasn’t pregnant but then also relieved I wasn’t when period arrived.

@HoneyPea sorry about your TFMR too, it’s so heartbreaking 💔. I think we said we will wait a few months atleast, try to enjoy the spring / summer. But then we might speak to a consultant about risks ttc again. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to go through this again if it’s the same outcome.

OP posts:
RMS0209 · 21/03/2022 08:33

@Cakesnbiscuit @HoneyPea

It defiantly isn't spoken about, I've felt very withdrawn and secluded since.

Regarding TTC... me and my partner are trying again... I don't think we are trying enough though if that makes sense?
We have had a chat and are going to try the SMEP method in April if need be (which I think it will) what do you both think about yourselves? X

HoneyPea · 21/03/2022 08:28

@Cakesnbiscuit It is really hard isn't it. I had a TFMR at the beginning of Feb. I am very much flip flopping between wanting to TTC and being too scared of the same thing happening again to even think about it.

Original poster
Cakesnbiscuit · 21/03/2022 07:29

@RMS0209 it must be so difficult to keep yourself occupied completely get that. I take my hat off to you as it’s one of the hardest things I have ever been through.

I don’t think it’s really talked about and I hate that it’s in the same bucket as unwanted pregnancies. My baby was wanted and so very much planned but due to health reasons it wasn’t meant to be. It wasn’t my choice not to go forward with the pregnancy it was necessary to save my life.

All I can think about is how I want to ttc again, mixed emotions; I’m angry, scared, excited, numb….it’s really hard to explain isn’t it? How do you feel about ttc?

OP posts:
RMS0209 · 20/03/2022 22:27

@Cakesnbiscuit that is great you have an older child, I don't have any children I think that's what gets me sometimes.

Life is a crazy thing... I know lots of people who have had various reasonings and went onto have happy healthy baby's so please just remember that 💖

Here if you need anything again x

Original poster
Cakesnbiscuit · 20/03/2022 22:20

I have got some puzzles I can do and an older child which keeps my mind off the situation most of the day.

I just keep thinking I want to ttc again but I think we need to speak to the doctors and my husband to understand risks of this occurring again. Think that’s another conversation once the dust has settled.

OP posts:
RMS0209 · 20/03/2022 21:56

@Cakesnbiscuit
No problem.
I'm glad you've managed to get some counselling that's great, the first person I tried I got no success but my 2nd company were great.

I know how you feel ❤️ I promise it will get easier, it's horrible right now but time... time is a healer trust me.
Maybe write the name of that book in your phone notes for another day.

Have you got things you can do to try keep busy for now?
Sounds silly but puzzles! They are brilliant fill in time and keep busy... especially handy for night times x

Original poster
Cakesnbiscuit · 20/03/2022 21:45

@RMS0209 thanks, I seem to flip between crying, being numb and the angry at life. Hospital has given me counselling which has been helping.

I just miss my baby. I have come across a book that has stories of medical terminations for various reasons (maternal health issues and Fetus health issues) but I can’t bring myself to read or buy it. Maybe in a few months or years I can read it as it would be nice to feel less alone.

OP posts:
RMS0209 · 20/03/2022 20:50

Hi @Cakesnbiscuit
Sending you big hugs, here if you need somebody to talk/vent to. X

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