Medical termination and ttc

@HoneyPea
Hi
How are you doing? I have been thinking about you both.
Thank you. I am currently CD6, still bleeding today but hoping she is away by tomorrow so I can start trying on Wed/Thur

@RMS0209 Hope trying the new method is going well this month

@Cakesnbiscuit were you told to do pregnancy tests or have you just decided to?
@RMS0209 mentally I feel a bit better after the funeral, even though it was extremely difficult and I know there won't be a day that goes by when I won't think about her. Physically my body just feels so tired and bloated still (when I went for my 12wk scan they thought I was 20weeks because I was showing so much) x

@HoneyPea
Our minds are very powerful things, I remember this being said to me not long after and thinking "oh bloody be quiet" but now I've realised... our minds are infacr very powerful things!
February isn't long ago you are right, but what I can promise though is in time you will not forget but it won't be the thought that consumes your mind all day & night, mentally and physically I'm in a far better place now than I was last year, I was scared of myself.

My first period was a bit longer if I remember rightly but since then I have had pretty regular ones and appear to be ovulation which is all good signs.
I also am going to reflexology, which I am finding is good mentally (it relaxes me) and I also read it is good for trying again
I just try to do little things to keep me busy. X

@Cakesnbiscuit @RMS0209 Thank you both. It's just so hard not to blame myself, you feel like you need someone to blame as it's just not fair 🥲
Ours was the beginning of Feb so not very long ago still feels very raw.
How were your first periods?
Mine was ok but I've now been getting sticky (like when you are ovulating) bloody mucas for the last week and it's about a week after my first period finished. X

@HoneyPea
Well please don't think like that 💕
If it makes you feel better and calmer taking for a few months before trying I am all for that, put you and your mental health first!
Little steps will equal big steps

Yeah I have high hopes for SPEM so fingers crossed for me!

I think I feel ok, it's all I want I still have cry's now and again but I'm in a lot better of a place now than I was a few months ago that's for sure.
I was October, how about you x

@RMS0209 I have had lots of people say the same but I feel like maybe I wasn't being the best mummy I could by preparing my body 😢 Also I feel like if I do take them for a few months I will have done what I can to try and stop it happening again (I know in reality it probably won't make any difference)! I know Im not ready to try again yet but im ready to think about getting my body ready, it feels like a little step forward if you know what I mean.
I don't know how would have coped if it had been my first pregnancy experience. I'm so grateful to have my little boy.
The SMEP method looks like it could give you the best chance possible to cover all fertile days fingers crossed it works for you 🤞🏻
How do you feel about the thought of being pregnant again? Did you have your TFMR very long ago?

@HoneyPea here is SMEP x

@HoneyPea

That's a good idea, time off will do you the world of good too.
I unfortunately don't have any DC so it's a bit different for me.
Noo don't think like that, I wouldn't say the supplements could have affected or not affected, don't think like that please.

Yeah an OPK tracks and gives you a "peak" basically a heads up that you are going to ovulate.
SMEP is a method for trying to conceive, I'll attach a picture. It is meant to be good and has a high success rate.

Don't be silly don't think anything is too personal nowadays to ask.
We've been trying again since January time, not sure if I would count December so this is our 3rd cycle but as I say I'm not too confident this one which is a bit sad but trying to stay busy & positive. X

@RMS0209 I am thinking of taking the folic acid tabs for about 3 or 4 months before thinking about TTC again. We are very lucky we have a DS already and both pregnancies happened in the first month of saying we will just go with the flow and see what happens (DS was born 2months before our first wedding anniversary) I'm worried that not taking any supplements before trying could have affected our TFMR baby. I've not had personal experience of tracking cycles apart from logging my period on my Fitbit app which gives a date for possible ovulation. Is an OPK to track when you ovulate? What is SMEP method? I'm hoping when we do try again it won't take too long. How long have you been trying again for? (Hope that's not too personal to ask)

@HoneyPea
Good idea! It's better to be safer and taking isn't it.
I think that's the most important ones, I have been looking at B vitamins I was going to order some when I am paid too.

I'm ok, I have days I'm sad and it consumes my mind and then I have days where I am ok and it's in the back of my mind.
Yes we have been trying again, I don't have much faith in this cycle as we hadn't been trying until I got my static smile on my OPK tester.
But we are looking at trying the SMEP method next month, I have heard alot of success from it.. and a few horror stories! But it's 1 month of trying something different to see I guess. What about you? How are you? What are you thinking?

@RMS0209 Thank you 😊
I have decided to take some folic acid with B12. I already take Vit D and Iron tablets.
I had a few calls from the bereavement midwife but haven't been offered counseling or anything.
How are you feeling about it all? Have you decided you are ready to TTC?

@Cakesnbiscuit how are you today z

Hi @HoneyPea lovely user name!

I'm taking some supplements recommended to me by my reflexologist. They are advance nutrition ones.
My partner also takes and I take iron and vitamin D (I'm vegetarian)

I had a few counselling sessions, the first person I had was terrible and put me 5 steps back.. I never went back, but the 2nd person was nice but I've just decided to try deal with it on my own.
My Dr hasn't been much support regarding TTC, I went from having phone calls every 3 weeks to now I get every 2nd month.

I'd recommend getting some supplements can't help I suppose, I just need to stop obsessing in my mind (easier said than done) x

@RMS0209 @Cakesnbiscuit Are either of you taking anything to get your bodies ready? I feel guilty as I never took any prenatals before TTC and worry this may have had an impact along with my age (Just turned 36) Also have either of you had much support? Counseling? Discussed TTC with the DR? I haven't had anything really apart from I need to ring the DR for a blood test soon to see if I still need to carry on the iron tablets I was given due to loss of blood.

@Cakesnbiscuit thank you for finding the article I will read it x

[quote Cakesnbiscuit]@RMS0209 thanks, I seem to flip between crying, being numb and the angry at life. Hospital has given me counselling which has been helping.

I just miss my baby. I have come across a book that has stories of medical terminations for various reasons (maternal health issues and Fetus health issues) but I can’t bring myself to read or buy it. Maybe in a few months or years I can read it as it would be nice to feel less alone.[/quote]
Hi Cakesnbiscuit. I'm so so sorry for what has happened. I went through it last summer and can so relate to how you're feeling. Have you been on the ARC forums? (Antenatal Results and Choices) or the reddit TFMR pages at all? It can feel like such a lonely experience. It helped me to talk with others who could relate. Take care xx

Do you have the link for it @PoleFairy I think I'd like to read it x

Oddly I just read an article on this today om glamour magazine online. It was interesting and something I didnt know much about. It might be worth reading to feel less alone