Medical termination and ttc

Hope everyone is doing as ok as can be?

@Hopingforbetterluck No I don't think we would be able to be referred. Our TFMR was due to T21, heart problems, very large cystic hygroma and membranes being loose, so a combination of things.

@HedgehogToes like you say at least you know you can make a healthy baby. I don't know if I would have been able to try again if the TFMR had come before my DS. X

@HoneyPea we were given our appointment with genetics automatically because of our reason for TFMR. Our baby had a large unbalanced translocation of chromosomes which can be passed down from the parents so they automatically tested myself and my husband. I think they also thought it might explain our previous losses but in the end it didn’t. I guess it depends on the particular circumstances of the pregnancy as to whether they do the tests but if your reason was something that could be genetic then perhaps your doctor could refer you to your local genetics department? The test we had was called a karyotype if that helps

HoneyPea Thank you ♥️ It's about a 1 in 10 chance of reoccurring now. From 0.08% then about 4% and now 10%. We are incredibly fortunate that we have a healthy 5yo so we know our genetics "work" together. So we just have to hope. It a special hell though.

I will say, it doesn't get easier, but it does get further away, and less raw. Definitely a lesson in survival and endurance though.

@HedgehogToes 💔 I really feel for you, going through it once is heartbreaking, I can't imagine how it feels to go through as much as you have.
Have you spoken to anyone about the odds of it happening again?
@Hopingforbetterluck How did you get your appointment with genetics?
@Cakesnbiscuit I will thank you
X

Sending you love and strength

I have had two TFMRs in the last 18m. Both second trimester. And a MMC in between which required medical management. It is incredibly hard.

Have you had any contact with SANDS? Arc are good, I found the forum incredibly helpful in the early days. But i do online SANDS meetings which have been a lifeline. You should have a local chapter which you can find on their website.

We are still TTC. Hope is a very powerful thing.

@Cakesnbiscuit I was told that they used to give 3 a day but now the dose is 1 a day. I've been having them for the last 10 weeks. X

@Cakesnbiscuit I am on iron tablets at the moment due to loss of blood in surgery as I have retained placenta. Due a blood test this month to find out if I need to continue the iron tabs. I do feel constantly exhausted x

@RMS0209 We decided to start trying at the beginning of Oct and I found out I was pregnant at the end of Oct. It was the same with my DS we decided to see what would happen after we got married in Aug and by Sept I was pregnant. We were extremely lucky both times, I'm worried it won't be so easy if we decide to try again and I can imagine getting completely obsessed with testing 😞 I've only ever done 3 preg tests one for DS and 2 for my TFMR baby girl (first one was invalid)
Have you been pregnant before or was this your first time? Have you seen anyone to discuss the odds of it happening again? X

@HoneyPea no problem don't think you did, I came off my pill end of July and fell in Oct x
You? X

@Hopingforbetterluck I have had no tests or appointments or information on how to find out if it could possibly happen again.
I had a few phone calls from the bereavement midwifes (the mentioned counseling) but haven't heard anything since the funeral over a month ago. I have spoken to my doctor a few times as Im not well (lethargic, slightly swollen ankles etc) and they don't really seem to want to know at all.
@RMS0209 I can't remember if I've asked already so sorry if I have but how long did it take you to conceive your TFMR baby? X

@HoneyPea That's ok I only learn terms on here, yeah so I use the clear blue advance monitor to track ovulation but I got a "peak" CD10... I normally don't get a peak until CD14/CD16 so I am confused very. I will continue to test with my cheapies and see what happens and hopefully this is my month... I need it to be soon

Hi @HoneyPea I’m sorry I’m new to mumsnet and can’t figure out how to reply properly! Im very sorry you’ve had a bad day, we are bound to have some days worse than others. I felt the same as you that the timing would be perfect and the baby was due on my birthday so I thought it was meant to be. Have you had any tests that would give you an idea if it’s likely to happen again that might make you feel more positive about TTC?
We had an appointment last week with genetics who said that what happened to us was most likely a fluke and there’s only a 1% chance of it happening again.
Unfortunately it’s our third loss so my situation is slightly different and it hasn’t made me feel less scared about trying again but I feel the more information we have the better if you see what I mean. Could you push for some extra tests if it may give you a bit of peace of mind?

Not had a good day today found myself looking back at DS's baby photos and thinking that I should have been doing it all again in a few months time 😭 It's making me feel like I want to try again but I'm still too scared that the same thing could happen again and there's no way I could deal with that 💔
@Cakesnbiscuit I was never told to take any tests, I wonder why the advice was different.
@RMS0209 Sorry I'm rubbish with the terms, does 'peak' mean you are ovulating now? If so you still have a few days 🤞🏻
@Hopingforbetterluck Sorry you have had to join us. Your situation sounds very similar to mine. TFMR beginning of Feb and 2 year old DS. The timing between the 2 would have been perfect as DS was going to be starting preschool in September for 2 days a week. X

@Hopingforbetterluck thank you for your nice words.
I think I just wasn't really prepared for early, we only DTD last night but we will try the next 3 days.

Thank you, I will be here for support in May if you do try again x

@ hi, I wouldn’t give up hope for this month, I know that during our long TTC journey I’ve ovulated on a different day every time so you never know!
It must be very difficult to be on this rollercoaster without a little one to focus on. I’m very grateful for the distraction of my toddler and know just how lucky we are to have him. I can’t imagine how difficult it is but I’ve got everything crossed for you this month

@HoneyPea @Cakesnbiscuit thanks ladies, this chat really is great.
I dont have much faith for this month.. appears that I am having a "peak" on CD10... normally been getting peaks CD16/CD14 so I'm a bit confused me & OH are going to try tonight, tomorrow & Sunday though.
Starting to feel deflated now.
I think it would help if I had a little one, but I don't thats what makes it all the more difficult :(

Hi @Hopingforbetterluck welcome
Sorry to hear of your loss x

I wondered if I could join this conversation. I’m very sorry for what you’ve been through and might have some idea of what you’re feeling as I’m in an almost identical situation to you. I had a TFMR at the beginning of February and am starting to think about TTC in May much the same as you. I wanted to have a short break as our TFMR followed two miscarriages so was our third loss in a row and thought we could do with a holiday before trying again. I do have 2 year old son so hope it’s still possible to have another.

How are you feeling now? I thought I was ok but have had a bad couple of days. I suppose it’s to be expected. I’m the same as you in that I want to TTC and am struggling with taking a break from it really but am so scared to have another positive test and have to go through it all again. As we’re in a similar situation I thought it might be good to keep in touch and keep each other going ….. I hope you’re doing ok today, I know some days can be better than others.

@RMS0209 Had a tough weekend, first time I've seen a big group of friends since it happened. They all found out I was pregnant at our last big get together. 2 of them are pregnant they would have been around 1 or 2 months ahead so was difficult to see them.
I really hope this new method works for you this month. I can't imagine how disappointing it must be once you have decided you want it to happen again. 💐 x

@HoneyPea
Thank you! I really hope April is my month I am starting to feel deflated now

Oh no!! Owie how uncomfortable, I hope it goes soon.
Things are all good though? X

@RMS0209 ooooo exciting times for you. I will have everything crossed that April is your lucky month.
I'm not too great I've got a bad UTI that is now on it's second round of antibiotics and no sign of it shifting 😡