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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC

35 replies

Goldengoose6491 · 19/01/2022 09:37

Hi everyone.

Apart from OH I don't have anyone to talk to about our fertility journey and it occured to me that isnt helping with my anxiety around the subject which is why I am reaching out here for any support. I'm not looking for a diagnosis just a handhold and someone to talk to.

To tell you a little about myself. I'm 30 and my partner is 35 and we've been ttc for a year. I've always had regular cycles, blood tests showed borderline low AMH but OBGYN wasnt concerned, diagnosed with IBS and subclinical hypothyroidism (for which I'm taking levothyroxine to keep TSH low), OH sperm test came back fine, I have a HSG scheduled next week (which I am terrified about) and a MRI in March (looking for endo, again terrified), I've tried acupuncture three times and didnt find it was for me. I'm supplementing with maca powder and ashwaganda and taking the traditional fertility supplements. Also made lifestyle changes like exercising more (mainly yoga), healthy eating, lots of sleep, no toxic skincare, household products oh and the pillow under the bum after the horizontal tango. BBT tracking seems to show typical ovulation. Im trying seed cycling but its difficult.

As I'm sure you know its hard not to become obsessive. especially when you dont fall into the 84% who concieve within a year. I never thought it would be a problem and its wreaking havoc with my nerves.

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldengoose6491 · 20/01/2022 11:21

@BritInNZ thank you so much for your message I really appreciate hearing from someone who has undergone an HSG. I know what you mean about the diagnosis though. It still leaves you hanging with no answers. Do you have any other tests scheduled?

Im living by the mantra Trust that this is the journey for you at the moment and it will all be worth it in the end. xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldengoose6491 · 20/01/2022 11:17

@Arly90 I completely sympathise. I never ever thought it would take longer than a few months. You spend your whole adolescence being told you'll be pregnant if you even look at a boy and then when the time comes you wish it was that simple.

Its a long journey through the anxiety - all i can say is your feelings are totally valid. I find journalling very helpful when the feelings get overwhelming and exercise if you feel jittery. Cry if you need to and feel sad for as long as it takes it will pass. xx Fingers crossed and good vibes to everyone here. xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldengoose6491 · 20/01/2022 11:14

@Bellesjp people trying to guess if youre pregnant and watching everything you drink and eat is the worst! I find myself snapping at well meaning comments too like "when will you start a family" and "don't wait too long!" I never know what to say its so personal....Two of my friends have had babies recently and one is pregnant again already I'm so happy for them but it does break my heart a little. I've tried to reframe the jealousy from thats what i dont have to thats what i will have one day.

AF is due 1st Feb. You?

OP posts:
BritInNZ · 20/01/2022 01:58

@Goldengoose6491 I've just hit the year TTC mark and it sucks. Just wanted to reply as I had a HSG a couple of weeks ago and didn't find it too bad. Yes there were cramps but if you've ever had bad period pain it was the equivalent to that and over with very quickly. Mine found both my tubes were open, so it was another issue to be ruled out. At first I was happy to know it was all okay, but a few days later it upset me because I was thinking 'so what IS wrong with me then?!' I have also had AMH, blood tests and SA and so far everything is normal, so we're equally as confused and frustrated as you. Fingers crossed we get some answers soon.

Arly90 · 19/01/2022 21:56

Hello ladies.
Would love to join for some support. We have been trying for about 9 months now and this whole thing is really getting to me.
Im only only cycle day 4 and the past few days have been awful. I feel anxious most of the time and could cry at anything 😢 it's a very lonely journey especially when my best Pal is 3 months pregnant 🙈

Hopfully it'll soon be our time!x

Bellesjp · 19/01/2022 21:25

Hi @Goldengoose6491 yes that totally makes sense about the added pressure of people knowing! I had only told one close friend when we started trying. However when we lost our little one in September I had to tell quite a few people including work, which I really didn't want to do but I was too upset and had to take some time off. I told my family and most of my friends what happened as I couldn't hide the grief I was going through. Naturally now they all know we are ttc so I feel a lot of added pressure and feel people try to find out if I'm pregnant yet which is rubbish!

Good luck for your HSG, I've actually as well about that improving fertility so fingers crossed for you 🤞🏼 really get what you mean about the rollercoaster, one min I'm feeling positive then the next I'm crying over yet another bfn! Got 3 friends who are pregnant and due soon so that doesn't help!

When is af due for you? X

Original poster
Goldengoose6491 · 19/01/2022 14:50

@Bellesjp Thanks so much for your message. Im so sorry for the sadness in your journey so far it can be so brutal.

Crossing my fingers for you too. I don't think it can hurt to ask for more testing. You have to be your own advocate in these cases I find, doctors like to dismiss you as much as possible. Im scared about my HSG but also excited as anecdotally many women conceive after this procedure...The more testing we do the more in control I feel too which helps with the sense of overwhelm which you so often feel with subfertility.

For me its the rollercoaster of hope and disappointment.every.single.month. that gets me down and that is lonely. I feel like if I tell my friends and family there will be more pressure and eyes on us - does that make sense?
x

OP posts:
Bellesjp · 19/01/2022 14:28

Hi @Goldengoose6491, sorry you're having a tough time. Ttc is such a lonely time isn't it, especially when your journey is longer than you'd hoped. But you're not alone, there's plenty on here unfortunately in the same boat to talk to and support each other!

Do you mind if I join you? We're just over a year into properly tying but I haven't been on any contraception for about 5 years thinking if it happens then it happens and we'd be over the moon, unfortunate it didn't. I've been pregnant twice, one early miscarriage a few years ago and we had to tfmr in September at 12 weeks as our little one was very poorly. To finally get to 12 week scan and then lose her was the worst thing I've ever been through 😞

We're now month 3 of ttc again and I'm 13dpo today but bfns so far this month so I'm not feeling very hopeful!

I was going to ask my gp if they would start any tests on us but I've heard as I have conceived in that year even though it didn't have a happy ending that it resets the clock for investigation. Not sure if that's right or not, I may ask anyway as I'm getting desperate now!

Got my fingers crossed for you x

Original poster
Goldengoose6491 · 19/01/2022 13:30

Thanks @Bundaberg84. I will familiarise myself with those threads you mention. Exactly why not! Im writing this with AF cramps but feeling determined to stay on track and look after myself.

OP posts:
Bundaberg84 · 19/01/2022 12:21

Hi @Goldengoose6491 and welcome! You're right, it's an incredible lonely journey, I'm glad sites like these exist and we can connect virtually.
You know they say it's perfectly normal for healthy couples to TTC for a year before they end up pregnant, but it's frustrating.
I think everyone who is TTC for a while knows that the chances each month of conceiving are only around 30%, even if "done perfectly" as in timing etc.
From what you're writing I'd say you do everything you can.
There are several threads here you can join, some for everyone TTC over 12 months for example. Either way, I'm crossing my fingers that this is your month - because why not?