Over 40 TTC 2022 group

@coldcoldheartt where did you go for the MOT? My GP has said they won't offer Mr any help due to being nearly 41 and already having a son from previous relationship. She said as my periods are regular that means I'm ovulating, and just to keep trying... 🙄But I'm wondering if knowing what's what could be helpful. As my partner last had a sperm analysis nearly three years ago now too. I temp, so know that I do ovulate, but obviously no clue about egg health/viability. Hope your results come back positive!

Went for a "fertility MOT" last week and am getting our results this afternoon. I don't know all the medical terms but They did an internal scan to check follicles/ovaries and blood test to check ovarian reserve, also DH gave a sperm sample to be checked. Ive been off contraception for a couple of years now and nothing has happened so it'll be good to know what's going on. Just turned 40 so it's now (in the next couple of years) or never

Dh thought it would happen straight away like it did in my 30’s and I was secretly hoping the same. Every month symptom spotting in tww only for af to show, its an emotional rollercoaster. I too was very anxious in my last pregnancy as had loss at 22 weeks before, so really struggled emotionally until the baby was born and I could settle.

I too have strong ovulations pains every month and positive opk’s.

Know a few my age who are expecting so it can still happen!

@Shasha2 I feel the same.
3 pregnancies in 30s all within first month of trying.
convinced husband when I was 41 and now 42 and still nothing. I’m feeling downhearted today as af showed up this morning.
last month I had strong ovulation pains and I’ve not had them for a couple of months previously and my periods are still really regular so I’m hoping there’s still a chance. Hope I’m not kidding myself 😩
I do see lots of hopeful stories and people having ‘surprise’ babies in their 40s so that makes me more positive.
DH isn’t keen on trying for too much longer if it doesn’t happen soon as he’s concerned about too big of an age gap so I feel like time is ticking on and it’s getting me down.
Im so very grateful for what I have and realise that I’m so lucky but would just love another. I had severe undiagnosed anxiety when i fell pregnant with my youngest which, with the addition of pregnancy hormones, turned to panic disorder/ antenatal depression It was the worst time of my life. Never thought I’d come through it. A hugely supportive gp, some temporary meds and a wonderful therapist later, I was on my way to recovery and by the time my baby was born I was feeling much stronger. I never thought that after that I would long for another baby once more but the support I received made me stronger than I’d felt in years and I now want to experience motherhood again with my new stronger and healthier mind. X

Hi,
I am 44 & would love another. Spent years trying to convince dh and finally agreed to try when I turned 42. So far it hasn’t happened. No problems conceiving in my 30’s though, had four pregnancies all within trying on first cycle. Praying its not too late.

Thanks @HWT 💗
Thank you too @Dragon82 💗

Hi @LucyFraser1981 good to hear from you. Sorry to hear that you don’t get any help with IVF, rules are so confusing. Fingers crossed you don’t need it though and you’ll get your positive soon. Sending wishes and good luck.

Good luck! I follow Rosanne Austin on instagram which I find very positive and she's just had someone post that they got pregnant naturally at 45!

You will get there!

Hello all, glad to find a thread with others my age! I'll be 41 in four weeks, my partner will be 41 in December. We're childhood sweethearts that reconnected a couple of years ago (we were each others' first kiss!)
I have an 8.5 son from my first marriage, who I conceived first month of temping/opks etc, so have actively started doing that again, and on my second focused month of that. Had an odd low temp just after when I thought I'd ovulated, which is confusing FF and means I could have ovulated either CD 12, 13 or 15. If CD15 then we may have stopped trying too soon this cycle (partner works away during the week usually, so we try and rearrange work so he can be home). My partner has no children, but because I have my son my GP has said we won't get any help with IVF and couldn't afford it privately, so it's natural or nothing 😕
My grandmother had my Dad when she was 45 (in 1951!) so I'm hoping she's passed on those genetics to me!

@Iusedtobedontcall Berlin is great I went pre-pandemic it was such a nice city break. You girls have a lovely time. And I know what you mean, TTC has given me a purpose again. Not had a period yet so TTC is probably a bit soon but I can’t wait I just want to be doing something to move on. Sending everyone luck I hope all of us, but at least some of us get positives soon. And I’ve got everything crossed for @JA42

Thank you @Coffeeforlife and sending positive thoughts your way.

@JA42 wishing you all the best and I hope everything goes well.

@Dragon82 what a long journey we are all on - wishing you the best with TTC.

I am physically much better after my MMC and emotionally feeling better too. Off to Berlin tomorrow with my mum and teen Dd, so will be a nice break. Hopefully I’ll be fully recovered when I get back. I want to TTC again as soon as I’m able and to start looking forward.

@JA42 I’m not pregnant yet but when they discharged me from miscarriage care they said for your next pregnancy we will do a ‘viability scan’. Not sure that’s the nicest name for it. So I’m still in the TTC boat at the moment. Not had a period so difficult to know when to try a pregnancy test but just going with it and trying not to stress (who am I kidding 😂) I’m guessing you’ve got about 5 weeks to wait for your harmony test and scan. What a long wait, hang on in there and I’m sending lots of baby dust to your little bean

@Dragon82 all going ok so far thank you, we are not planning a meeting very early scan but we are having the harmony test which does include a scan which can be done from 10 wks onwards.
I think it’s good they have offered the viability scan for your next pregnancy , 12 wks seems such a long time to wait otherwise and hopefully offer some reassurance. sorry you had to go through two miscarriages 😢.
Im sure the old slip up of alcohol won’t do any harm, I was convinced it hadn’t worked for us the week before I found out so ate and drank lots of things I shouldn’t of but I felt liked I needed a break after being so strict all of the time.
Everything crossed for you all 🤞

I'm so sorry for your loss @Iusedtobedontcall It is so unfair and can be such a rollercoaster. Sending huge hugs and positive vibes for when the time is right for you x

Thank you @Dragon82 . I’ve ordered lots of supplements and ovulation tests for when I’m ready to try again - so hopefully we will get there. It’s been a bit rocky today emotionally, but I’m feeling a bit better tonight.

@Iusedtobedontcall I’m so sorry for your loss. I have my fingers, toes and heart crossed that you get your positive test soon xxx

I’m 42 - just had a surprise pregnancy on the mini pill that unfortunately ended in MMC. Once I’ve recovered we’ve decided to try again as we were so excited about the pregnancy. I have 3 teen dc and DH has 2 dc, but this will be our first together. Really trying to think positively!

@Holls81 it took me 16 months to conceive my son. Oh my god it was so hard and the number of people who say it’ll happen for you within a year, or try not to stress and it’ll happen. I could have screamed 🙄All meant with the best intentions but isn’t very helpful because it took us over a year and of course I stressed 😂I hope the GP blood test help you find answers and you get your positive line soon.

@JA42 Your post makes me feel hopeful. I hope your baby bean is doing ok, how long until your scan? Are you getting an early scan. Midwives told me I can have an NHS viability scan at 7-8weeks for next pregnancy (hopefully there is a next). I was surprised as I’ve only had 2 miscarriages but I’m very glad they’ve said that. I’m taking supplements from ‘it starts with the egg’ and feeling a little silly buying into all of that. But it sounds like it’s worked for you so that makes me feel positive. I’m keeping up with the supplements, also given up coffee and alcohol. Was at a wedding yesterday so a bit of a slip but hopefully all of the above will help

@Coffeeforlife 18 months of TTC sounds absolutely exhausting. You are a warrior mummy and I guess we’ve got to keep believing and stay strong. And have faith it’s going to happen for us. I’m so sorry for your medical management and cyst. I’ve been ‘lucky’ (not quite the right word) but my MMC were reasonably straight forward. I hope your cycles have settled down and I have my fingers and toes crossed for you.

there’s lots of amazing women on here. Everyone’s stories are full of resilience and fighting one of the toughest battles. I hope we will all get there. Sending love and baby dust to all xxx

Thanks for sharing @JA42 and congratulations!!

I've been TTC on and off for the last 18 months since a MMC, we'd seen a heartbeat at 8.5wks but it didn't survive long afterwards, I found out at 11.5wks. Then followed failed medical management, a big cyst and a lot of messing about until I my cycles settled. Since then nothing, other than some big gaps in trying due to Covid, other illnesses and life. I've seen a lot of control lines and not a glimmer of anything else.

I've not been putting pressure on it, I have two sons who are 4 and 5, but I felt a bit lonely so hopping on here for a bit of company.

I'm somehow 40 next week, but in my head I'm still about 34 I think... I'm sure it's the same for everyone.

Anyway I hope you're all happy and well, and sending you lots of baby dust x

I would like to share my news and to give others hope that it is possible to get pregnant in your 40’s. I got my BFP on Tuesday after ttc for 7 months, we were just preparing ourselves for IVF when we found out, still hasn’t sunk in yet. If all goes well and keeping everything crossed as it is still early days, I will be a couple of months away from 43 when I have this baby. This will be baby number 3, we have a 2 and a 4 yr old already.
Since February I have been taking supplements, cut out caffeine and tried to eat healthy most of the time , Ive also been calorie counting to get a bit of weight off but I’m just going to try and maintain now to try and stay as healthy as possible.
spreading baby dust to everyone and keep everything crossed 🙂

hiya.
I’m so sorry to hear about your losses.
It does sound hopeful though that you seem to be much more fertile.
I have also heard about the fertility increase 40 as I know that that’s why some slightly older couples who are ttc end up having twins.
Ive just turned 42. dh and I have been trying for 7 months.
we already have 2 beautiful dc (8 and 4) who were both conceived first month of trying and for this I am
forever grateful. I think because I was so fortunate before, this time round I’d prepared myself for a higher risk pregnancy and more likelihood of miscarriage due to my age but I hadn’t prepared myself for the fact that I might not be able to get pregnant at all. Im seeing the gp next month and having blood tests to see if there’s anything going on.
I know our age makes it all a bit slower generally but I need to know what I’m working with!
hope you’re all enjoying the sunshine ☀️ x

Hi, I’m 40 in September. Had my DS when I was 38 he is nearly 18 months. Took 16 months of TTC. Started trying again when he was 10 months. Had bleeding so early scan and had a diagnosis of a MMC on 25th april at 8.5 weeks pregnant (7 week embryo no heartbeat) passed that ‘naturally’. Got pregnant immediately after and had bleeding so early scan at 10.5 weeks which showed embryo was 6 weeks. No heartbeat which isn’t unusual at that time but dates being out and bleeedumg MF said prepare for worst. 2nd scan today confirmed MMC and this evening passed everything ‘naturally’. Sat in bed now with DH and he is freaking me out with statistics. He thinks we have a 50% chance of MC. I think he’s adding MC risk with risk of having 2 consecutive MC. We are both scientist so really surprised of his misinterpretation of stats but he’s really low. We are going TTC as soon as bleeding stops. I’m convinced that both losses were due to chromosomal issues as 6 and 7 weeks MMCs so my body carried on but embryos were non-viable. What gives me hope is that I seem to be more fertile now than when first tried at 36. I used to get awfully heavy painful periods, not unlike my 2 MCs. But after baby that has really cleared up so I think it’s reset my uterine lining, if that’s possible. I’ve also read that as you approach 40 and beyond fertility can go up as your body senses clock ticking down and throws everything at getting pregnant. Probably an urban myth but here’s hoping. I know I am so lucky to have one DS and I know it’s going to happen for us all. We just need to ignore stats and be fearless. We got this!

Thanks for the replies! @pitterypattery00 thanks for sharing your experience :smile:

@MintUmbrella I found my GPs supportive when I was 39/40 and trying to conceive. My age was never mentioned.

I had two GP appointments - the first when I'd been trying for about 5 cycles, the second after 12 cycles. At the first, the GP arranged some blood tests to check I was ovulating and some other routine things they check. They showed everything was fine except an underactive thyroid - not to an extent where it was having any noticeable effect on my health, but my TSH levels were high enough that conception was unlikely. I got medication that sorted that - it's such an easy thing to treat. I felt frustrated that I'd 'wasted' 5 months trying in vain.

At the second appointment I asked to be referred for further checks. (A few months before this my partner had his sperm tested, arranged via GP, and that had been fine). GP was supportive, said it was probably just a matter of time, but agreed to refer me. I knew we wouldn't qualify for IVF because of my age but I wanted to know if there was any issue that needed sorted, or if there was something fundamentally wrong, in which case I'd have known keeping trying was futile.

Four days after that appointment I had my first positive pregnancy test and my son was born 9 months later. So she was right, sometimes it just takes time. 😊

@MintUmbrella would you be willing to pay to go private for testing? I think re GPs it depends…Some are v supportive and others less so. All you can do is try to go through GP but be prepared to pay to go private 🤷‍♀️