Over 40 TTC 2022 group

Thanks. I actually used to work in the RIC laboratory from 2009-2012. Would be very strange to go back as a patient but life has a circular pattern doesn’t it! I’ll look into it thanks. Due to age I assumed chromosomal issues with eggs but maybe my two miscarriages might be to do with immunology.

Have you looked into immunes? It can be a cause of secondary infertility, Gorgy, Shehata , Argc and others can treat . Best of luck

Hi all, don’t know if anyone else is still on this. Contemplating IVF, lords knows how we will afford that. Anyone else in the same boat. 2 years of trying ‘naturally’ for baby number two, my son turns 3 in Jan. I’m so lucky to have him. But would love one more. Have done NHS fertility testing and ultrasound and no issues found. I know it takes time but as I turned 41 in September I can’t shake the clock is ticking feeling. Trying to make peace with a one child family but always imagined two of them running about.

AF arrived today. Sigh. Still TTC here, turn 41 in September. Had two missed miscarriages last year. Had a healthy boy when I was 38 after 16 months TTC which I’m very grateful for. @Cofefefe I read of a mum who’s child was born after using a donor egg say my baby is 50% the donors, 50% my husbands and 100% all mine. There’s more we pass on than our genes, there’s our hearts and souls xxx hoping it happens for all of us on our next cycle xxx

I'm still TTC. Have had one MMC in March and one IVF round in May which despite getting good numbers of both eggs and embryos didn't work. Will give it one more go IVF but think I'll either accept it won't happen for us or maybe (very slight maybe) consider donor eggs.

Just thinking about all you ladies and wondering if anyone has any updates? We're still TTC and no luck since the MMC end of March. We had one cycle of IVF last month that led to 0 eggs retrieved so will see where to go from here. I don't want to "waste time" trying naturally but at same time I don't see too much point spending thousands of pounds when, at best, I'll get 1-3 eggs instead of 1. Started taking all the recommended It Starts with the egg supplements - so will see if that produces any better eggs!

@Holls81 Its a hard journey, but really positive that you conceived x2 before! Getting my hormone levels checked (and thyroid, as mentioned above) was really useful to me in knowing where I stand - quantity (and likely) quality-wise - even though the news wasn't great so I would recommend that if you can.
We have been TTC since Aug/Sept last year and I got pregnant in January (at 42). It didn't end well but the month I did conceive was the month after I started taking my antenatal vits religiously + ubiquinol so I do think we play a role in optimising things and I'll be continuing with it. It was also the month after I took a couple of measures to help lower my stress levels (I have a stressful, full-time job and do most of the childcare/domestic stuff on top of that, but handing over "bedtime" which isn't easy in our house, gave me a much-needed hour or two to decompress in the evening). Whether it was a coincidence or not will be seen in the next few months, I guess. Fingers crossed!

Hi @Holls81 I was 40 when I conceived (after 12 cycles) so not directly comparable. But I just wanted to suggest getting your thyroid levels checked if you haven't already (I discovered I was hypothyroid after 5/6 mths trying so I actually conceived fairly quickly after that was treated). I also wanted to add that I did absolutely nothing different the month I conceived. I think in our 40s we may only release one or two good quality eggs a year so it's just a case of 'being in it to win it' each month. I wanted to give myself the best possible chance so I did reduce alcohol, caffeine, took some supplements etc. I felt that even if each change only made a very tiny difference, taken together they may make a real difference to chances of conception. Of course I'll never know if it made a difference. Chemicals can absorb through the skin - that's not to say wearing gloves will definitely improve your chances, but seems an easy change to try to maximise your chances. Good luck 🤞

Positive stories needed please!
Morning all. AF arrived yesterday so we’re now on to cycle 16 with not one positive pregnancy test. 🥲
This month it’s hit me hard and I’m feeling really down about it all.
I’ve just turned 43 and we’ve been trying since I was 41.
I have positive opk’s, periods are still very regular and I’ve had 21 day bloods done and all ‘normal.’
We have 2 children already (both conceived first month of trying) so I’ve no reason to think there’s a prob with hubby’s swimmers.
We both eat super healthily (most of the time) but do enjoy a drink at the weekend.
I take ubiquinol (600g a day ) wheatgrass (although only started this recently) and prenatal supplement plus zinc and vitamin d.
I’m reading ‘it starts with the egg’ and finding it really interesting.
I was under the impression that egg quality cannot be improved however, to learn that some of the damage of the eggs only happens in the few months before they are released has got me thinking… I run a cleaning business (and have done since after having dc2) so am often around cleaning products etc.
I don’t wear rubber gloves a lot of the time so now I’m wondering whether this might be an issue. Or, in your understanding, is it inhalation that causes damage?
Has anyone been in my position and then gone on to have a positive test and successful pregnancy after all this time? Also, did you do anything differently in the months leading up to it?
Thanks for reading xx

Really appreciate the congratulations and the experiences people have shared. I think I will book the private scan just to break up the wait to 12 weeks and just cautiously enjoy any little milestones we make it to.
@pitterypattery00 that's exactly what I've been thinking, I wonder if I'd get to a point of feeling pregnant rather than just managed to conceive, it's like it's safer to see it as a medical / bodily function for now?
@AlwaysAlba fingers and everything crossed for you xx

@littlegingerone how fantastic, congratulations!

I came on to say that in the last six months my cycles have been 23-25 days…and I’m now day 29 and nothing apart from 2/3 days of v v light spotting that just maybe was implantation? I’m putting off testing for as long as possible, just want to enjoy the “maybe I am pregnant” whilst I can. I’m 43.5 now, so it probably will be negative but…maybe…

I had one private scan - at around 7.5 weeks. I probably wouldn't have considered it if it hadn't been for the experience of a (much younger) friend who had recently gone for her 12 wk scan and been told that there was no baby, just an empty sac ('blighted ovum'). She'd had all the symptoms of early pregnancy and it totally blind-sided her.

It took a long time before my thinking shifted from 'I've conceived' (which I took as a massive positive in itself after a year of trying) to 'I'm pregnant'. Don't know if that makes sense, but it's how I felt.

I found out I was pregnant in January and had an early scan at 6 weeks which showed a heartbeat. That was reassuring at the time but unfortunately a second scan at 9 weeks showed it had stopped growing just after the first scan. I was still glad I did it as my body hadn't recognised the miscarriage so I was able to get it sorted and had surgical management 2 weeks ago. I'm hoping it's worked OK as after 2 weeks pregnancy tests are still showing very very positive/dye stealers. Hopefully within the next week they'll get fainter.

I had one at 8 weeks both times in my pregnancies this year and last. First was a MMC but it allowed me to find out early and second time I saw a gorgeous wriggling little bean. Unfortunately that time the baby had Downs but that was a 1/100 chance and just bad luck. I will definitely have an early scan again.

Thank you everyone going to keep everything crossed and maintain a cautious excitement. Just debating whether to have an early private scan for reassurance has anyone else had one and did it give you a bit of peace of mind?

Congrats @littlegingerone this is great news. I think try to stay positive. Sure it’s early days but try to enjoy it, sending health and happiness and baby dust your way

@littlegingerone I can totally relate to the feeling of a positive test being an incredible achievement in itself! Congratulations, sending you all best wishes.

@littlegingerone Brilliant news! Congratulations!

@littlegingerone that is wonderful news indeed! Congratulations to you.

@littlegingerone tentative congratulations that's such wonderful news ❤️

Just wanted to post here as I've dipped in and out this thread but don't think I ever posted, I'm 42 and we've been trying naturally for about 12 months give or take. Just had my first positive test that I've ever had, 2 days late for my period. I'm very very wary of getting excited in case anything goes wrong. Just trying to see it as at least its positive that I've now had a positive! Figured that people here will understand feeling like that?

@Dragon82 - Yeah, the odds aren't great but it might be worth pursuing if you're taking a while to conceive spontaneously. With my declining egg quality, I can't afford to spend six months trying to get pregnant, and then have another miscarriage, so I think we'll give ourselves two more months and then give IVF a try to see if we get any embryos.
The fertility doctor said that at my age, the issue is egg quality and that once you get to 42, the success rate for IVF and for IUI more or less even out (though with IVF it is 10% chance of live birth, whereas for IUI it is 10% chance of pregnancy as they can test the eggs for chromosomal abnormalities that might lead to miscarriage).
I found fertility testing useful in so much as you know whether you might have a bit more time to try naturally. But it can't predict quality.

I’m going to try for spontaneous conception again too. Still waiting for the genetic karotyping from my TFMR in mid February. I was thinking of having some fertility testing done too.

I didn’t realise the odds of IVF are only 10%. That’s quite a surprise to me. I thought it was more 30% but I don’t know where I got that number from and perhaps that’s when someone is younger than our age group. I will keep trying for spontaneous conception

I'm sorry to hear about the MMCs @Dragon82 and @Iusedtobedontcall It is certainly a different (and difficult) journey at our age. I conceived my DC1 at 39 first month trying but this time, it took six months. That, combined with low ovarian reserve and the MMC makes me think that my issue is also quality and the idea of having to go through this again is pretty scary. That said, I've been told IVF is only 10% chance (at a huge financial and emotional cost) so its really hard to decide which road to take as I'm not ready to give up completely.