IVFers thread

What a horrible thing to be going through SS....we are a battered lot this month aren't we?

I'm definitely up for the weight-loss thread!!

Hi guys
Well the m/c is firmly in progress now. Not very pleasant but I'm hoping that my hcg levels will drop and then I can put all this behind me. We'll see - I will certainly have to be monitored quite a lot still from what I've been told.

Soosy and OAP maybe we can change this to a weight loss thread!? I will certainly be joining in!

OAP, my message crossed yours, PMSL about rugby, as I am Welsh and my DH is English and we have massive row, only ever about rugby! It's mad I am secretly gloating at the moment and Wales thrashed Italy today and England are not doing so well against France. Oh I am so vile .

OAP, sadly that doc was the one who delivered DS (after all the ivf, i went private, best thing I ever did), he doesn't do infertility, so I really do have to get pg, or need a smear test, to see him again, although we seem to bump into each other with alarming regularity..... I missed our chats after I had DS, he is a lovely man.

Coggy I would keep going, if you are only spotting and test on Monday. (it's the advice they always give at my clinic). But it could be the progesterone keeping af away. You are not a novice its all so difficult to know as it could be either and we all have this turmoil every time!

SS, I completely understand your frustration it sort of happened to me with my first pg, I was told there was a heartbeat, but it was small and the nurse told me that sometimes frozen embryos take a little longer to get started. Then i had a mmc. It isn't possible that they have missed one? Twin pg? (not necessarily ectopic) as I have heard this happening I don't want to get your hopes up but it seems really weird that your HCG is going up, particularly now as you are under no illusions about this pg. I think you are right and go for a second opinion, and maybe a another scan.

BTW coggy, I think my consultant might have been a little optimistic about the age thing, but I think what he meant was that turning 40 doesn't mean its the end! But it will be for me as I think I seriously need to have a cut off point. So its either age or end of suitable materials, if you get my drift.

Coggy - please carry on with the progesterone. My clinic's advice sheet said to test on the specified day whether or not you had had a bleed as "some women can bleed in early pregnancy".

For what its worth, one of my NCT group said she had periods for the first 3 months of her pregnancy.

With you on the crying - I watched Beaches today, and was weeping away when she had a baby and again when she died at the end. Really should have known better!

SS - have to say I don't really understand why your levels are going back up again after going down...why would they do that (other than to stress you out further of course!)

Soosy, love what your doctor said about age. If you see him again please give him a big hug and kiss from me and tell him he has made my week.

DH home after 15 days away shortly. I know he will walk in and want to watch the rugby though!

SS...how horrid and blinkin' frustrating.
What are they suggesting that you do?
Just wait and see if you get pains???!!!!
I really hope it all gets sorted out soon so that you can try and get back to some normality...it must be hard.

I have had a light AF today...started to allow myself to think that it may be okay and one embryo may still be hanging on in there...but I thik I'm probably just going throught a stage of denial.
I cried so much yesterday and the day before that I got really piggy eyes still today!!! Lots of eye liner today to try and do something with them!!!

I guess I should carry on with the progesterone for a couple more days and then do a final test on Monday as told???
Do you ladies think it's worth it or should I just give up?
I feel like such a novice now.
I wondered if it was the porgesterone making my AF light because my bodies confused and fighting itself.....hell, I'm confused!!!!!

Soosy...that's interesting what the consultant said about IVF age.

Hi yes I did - unfortunately the HCG has gone up again which I kind of guessed as I have some symptoms again. It's so awful to have to have preg symptoms when there is no hope of a viable pregnancy.

They reiterated the ectopic worry.

I am so fed up with all this and feeling hormonal. I am switching to a private gynae for monitoring/ trying to diagnose why the hcg is rising again/ if it is ectopic etc

Soosy and OAP - you are very determined and resilient to keep going!

OAP, thanks about Fertility friends I shall have a peek. Sounds like you are pretty determined a bit like me! I shall be 39 in July so I too feel that all these IVF articles and old mothers seriously unhelpful especially as I actually started trying to have my family 10+ years ago. But I did see the doc who delivered DS the other day and he told me not to get too hung up on the age thing as once you doing IVF the age thing is not a great deal until you are 45! I don't know if that is good or bad news for me as I always said I would stop when I was 40!

SS The weight will come off soon enough I always put on about 6lbs each cycle, its the hormones. Did you manage to get hold of your clinic?

OAP I need to lose weight too about 7 - 10lbs.

Have god weekend everyone.

Love S x

OAP - I've long been on Fertility Friends too - I wonder if we know each other on there as well!?

It was an especially good source of support in my first cycle and I made a very good RL friend on there too.

OAP - how did you lose weight during yourcycle - that's so not fair! If you want my 5 lbs extra flab I'll send it over!

SS - hope the clinic is suitably apologetic in the morning. Hate it when you have to do the chasing, very unprofessional of them and totally unnecessary.

Soosy - haven't heard of your clinic, sorry. Am sure you already use it, but the fertility friends website is probably the best place to ask for opinions on anyone or a clinic.

I do have a plan, or at least the outlines of one. I like plans!

I'm seeing the clinic again next week for my followup appointment. My main question is that the consultant wasn't very positive about our chances when we started as he didn't think I'd respond well. Given they reduced the stims doses twice, and had to bring EC forward by 4 days, does he still have the same opinion.

Regardless of the answer, my plan is to try IVF again asap, most likely at a new clinic after we move in late April. I might consider another cycle here if pressed, as I have all these drugs in the fridge to use! And we have places we could stay here too, if we needed to, as I think another cycle couldn't happen until May anyway. Would like to have at least another 2 cycles this year, before I hit 39 in December. Will rethink plans then I feel. I feel I can't not try again, as I would bitterly regret later on not trying as hard as we can now.

Will also continue to lose weight (lost 7 lb during the last cycle, oddly), have reflexology to get hormones back in balance again, and find an acupuncturist.

Does anyone else feel that they can't listen to the radio or read a paper without some news or views about IVF/fertility timebomb/women leaving babies too late jumping out at you? So not helpful!

That should be .

Yes I know that one, the moment when to stop! Ha, don't ask me I think I probably don't know. Does it ever feel right to stop. I have a friend who conceived two children v easily still wishes she had a third, even though she is now 45 and her DH has had the snip, she wasn't done, and being done is a personal thing.

SS the clinic not calling you is totally unforgivable I would be v when you ring in the morning, its' all sooo stressful you don't need anyone making it worse.

SS the clinic is near Regents Park, London. I have a suspicion that it is in the Harley Street area, but that may not necessarily be more expensive than self funding nowadays, esp with Lesley Ash.

Coggy I hope you are ok and that you can make a plan too. Where in the west country are you, Bath? could you not come to London?

OAP are you making plans too or are you still in a quandary, which I think is where I am....[hmmm]

And OAP there's the problem of when to stop isn't there. It's so hard.

Soosy - where is that clinic?

Well our clinic was meant to phone through the latest HCG figure - it would give an indication of whether things are going in the right direction/ an indication of whether ectopic or not potentially (down not up bizarrely given a few days ago I was hoping they'd go up) and they were meant to call between 5 and 7 pm and no-one did. Great. Will call in morning.

Coggy, this sucks. Life can be so unfair. And once you have IVF scheduled, it is impossible to plan past it, so you sort of get stuck and don't know how to move on. Not sure I'm expressing this well at all, but IVF becomes such a milestone, and a beacon of hope, that if it doesn't work out then I feel you are sort of left stranded for a while, until you can move forward.

Oh Coggy,I am so so sorry I really really do hope you are wrong, but I have to say, its pretty much how my af starts after treatment.

SS Such a nightmare for you, you think you are and then you are not... Then you have all this b*ks about whether the by insurance company will pay or not.

Please excuse my language, it's just the unfairness of it all.

SS I would go for the Caribbean if I were you, just the right time of year, I nearly went on my honeymoon, but it was the wrong time of year, november, so went to malaysia, fantastic!

I had a really long chat with my consultant, he is really sweet, and he suggested I should go for a second opinion, meanwhile we have made a tentative plan for FET in April. Not entirely sure i will do that, may take up second opinion first... He did say that there may be something in my cycle theory but he didn't know and that as we were in an NHS clinic, that it was unlikely to find anything to help as they won't use any "untested" methods, ie using steroids or anti-coagulants, which private clinics use. So I am going (hopefully) to see Robert Framton at the Centre of Reproductive Medicine. If anybody has heard or knows anything about him please let me know.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2411/483344#9753576

Here's the link to my 'much-needed holiday dilemna question!

Hi all,

OAP - so sorry to hear about your sis in law. Something similar happened to mine - unplanned preg and then a m/c and actually the good thing that came of it was that it made her understand better what she wanted regarding having a baby and that she did want one iykwim.
I hope she is doing ok considering what she is going through.

Oh Coggy I do hope you can be the exception to our run of bad luck on here!

Soosy - how did the appointment go.

I saw Kate Silverton from BBC breakfast at our clinic today - I felt quite sorry for her as she was sort of hiding in the corner - must be really awkward for a well known person in such a sensitive situation.

As for me - they did a scan and saw an empty sack but said there is a 20% chance of an ectopic so we have to be close to an A&E and if there is severe pain go straight away etc.
They were meant to phone me this evening with today's bloods but haven't yet.

Beyond this there's a huge saga which I won't bore you all with about next steps. More bloods, switching to the NHS for now, maybe a private gynae if needed depending on whether everything resolves naturally or not. I spent literally the whole afternoon dealing with trying toget through to the GP for a referral/ trying to sort my private healthcare out who are saying they might not provide coverage if it is a direct result of IVF (well of course it blardy is)

Ooh I've gone on a bit haven't I - sorry.
In the meantime I'm distracting myself with planning a much needed holiday! Anyone who fancies helping me decide - have a look in the general travel advice thread (the Tenerife vs Caribbean dilemna is my thread)!

Cramping maybe OAP...but not probably a -ve hpt as well!!!

Woke up this morning to bad cramps so I cracked and did a hpt....a bit early but wanted to know whether to keep the faith or not.....not!

I'm 14 days after ER and 11 days after ET so I guess it would show by now. Also had slight brown spotting which I guess is the beginning of AF.

Sorry to hear about your SIL.
this has not been a happy place at all recently has it??!!

Soosy...I agree with EHM.....write to Leslie Ash...make her feel bad so that she gives you a share to compensate!!!!

Well, we all need a better week next week I think.

EHM - glad you are on your way. A convenient clinic with good stats is worth its weight in gold, so pleased for you

SS - what is going on with your results? As you say you just want the whole thing to be resolved asap.

Coggy - hope you are wrong, and please don't worry about the cramping. There are so many threads on here about cramping in early pregnancy and all is fine.

Soosy - am interested to hear what your clinic say about the cycle length today? Hope they are nice to you

Am feeling much better today actually - considering I was in the depths of despair 6 days ago, this is pretty good going. Not sure why I am feeling better, but actually had a good time when my MIL was here and did lots of stuff for me - haircut and reflexology etc, and made lots of plans.

Very unfortunately, my sister in law who was supposed to be pregnant has had a missed miscarriage - HCG levels dropped etc - and is going for a D&C on Monday. Am so sorry for her, but she is being brave and saying that it wasn't a planned pregnancy, and so to her it isn't the end of the world etc. Whatever gets you through it I suppose. I think this bad news has made me get over myself, and pull myself together - it was only a failed cycle, not the end of the world.

Just to remind us all struggling here, I read somewhere that IVF cycles in spring/summer have about a 50% higher chance of working than those in winter. So this year should get better for us!

Oh coggy, I hope you are wrong, but do wallow away, its all so hard, and if you can't do it here then where can you!

EHM sounds like you are on your way.

I have an idea that it isn't my embryos that are the problem but something is happening to stop implantation. The two times before I have been pg have been in a 28 day cycle and I normally have a 30day cycle and just think there might be something else going on.... What do you think? I do have 3 or 4 embryos in the freezer and two more vials of sperm, but don't know how I am going to play this yet. I did see the consultant that delivered my DS, completely coincidence this am, and he said I shouldn't worry about my age so much, but I do! I am in a pickle and I am not sure that this appointment this afternoon will sort it out, I may have to be referred to another clinic.

I'll let you know what happens.

coggy wallow away! I had bleeding & period like pains before I found out I was pregnant with dd. Remain positive, sorry if you've already said what day are you in your 2ww? & you made me smile about the pesseries I remember that feeling soooo well. I became a constant nicker checker.I have everything x for you.
soosy good luck for today.x. £500 increase Fertility treatment should be free to everybody regardless of age & circumstances sadly it isn't. Maybe a note to Lesley Ash explaining your postion she may feel guilty & send you a nice fat cheque

my hormones of mass distruction are kicking in. Got up this morning & dh had left his breakfast dishes on the work top instead of putting into dw. I think I may have killed him if he was still around Not very rational I know & very petty but its the meds honest!

Right off to take my Prognova Tablets or Pregnova I like to think of them as

Oh SS...how frustrating for you. I am thinking about you.
X

OAP...sorry that AF has come in full tilt.
I really hope that your MIL is tactful when she is with you. That's a really hard one to bear.

Soosy...what ideas do you have to discuss with your consultant for next time...you are brave BTW.

I am feeling totally and utterly yuck, which is VERY unusual for me. I gave been really positive and hardly thought about things over the past week or so...obviously in denial!! But today I have had the tell-tale stomach ache on and off all day and am sat here having a good cry....don't think I let myself believe that it may not work before as that's so final.
I know that some people can have cramps and still be pg but I had nothing last time and every single other time I've had them over the past 8 years it's only meant one thing....

Sorry...I'm wallowing!

I keep feeling as if AF is here and then realising that it's those blessed pessaries leaking still!!!!
Well at least I still have something to make me smile!!!

Bugger!

SS You poor thing its a bloody rollercoaster, I would ask for a scan, you never know, and then at least it will be an answer (you are nearly five of six weeks aren't you?) Why did you have your tubes removed? Sorry that's v nosy .

OAP, sorry to hear that af arrived and glad you are making plans always good to have plans. Mil's are shockingly insensitive and should be shot at dawn.

NMM good news and amazing that you managed to choose. We are on the NHS (self funding) basically private, except you get bloods and a follow up consultation free but thanks to Leslie Ash all the prices have been put up by £500 for her sueing the hospital £5m.

Coggy Hope you are hanging in there keeping everything crossed, including my legs!

Sticki, hope af has stayed away and that is pg cramping you are getting.

EHM Keeping things crossed for you too for next week.

Have my appointment tomorrow so, we may have to keep this thread going for my next attempt! God do I never learn....

Hello all

I've been such a wimp & avoided posting Recent events noted on the thread really upset mesorry if that sounds heartless.

So OAP, SS, & Stick heart felt sorry for you all. Be good to yourself & partners.

Everything x for those left in the 2ww.

NNM fab that you have the clinic of your choice. good luck with all of that.

scan on tuesday took us 2.40 to het to clinic which was a nightmare.started taking prognova yesterday & have a further scan next thursday at 3pm with a view to having FET a few days later all being well.

Take Care.x.x

We got to choose as our hospital refers to two different clinics (equal distance away in opposite directions) I said I had a preference for one as it's nearer where I work (and cause it had better stats on HEFA website and generally a good reputation round here) and the nice gynae doc said he'd try to get us into that one.
Have no answer about your HCG - but look after yourself
Fingers crossed big time for those left in the 2ww coggy especially (and sticki? and anyone else?)