IVFers thread

Wow, 4 goes on the NHS, that's fantastic. It makes me so angry when I hear that infertility isn't an illness etc etc. I have PCOS and endometriosis which may have blocked one of my tubes - are these not illnesses a side effect of which is not being able to conceive?
Thanks for having me on the thread, it sounds like everyone has been through the mill. Yes, I did respond well to the drugs, 1st attempt I got 8 eggs (1 immature) 5 fertilised and they were all great embryo's top grade and 6 or 8 cells. On the next attempt I got 10 eggs, 7 fertilised but the quality wasn't so great and they were all 4 cells apart from one 6 cell - and while both cycles worked the second one produced dd - I suppose you just can't tell. The fet last November used the 3 remaining embys from round one as I was so convinced they would work being so good to start with but they degraded a lot and only scored 2.5 after the defrost - they all survived and 2 were replaced, no result. I wish I'd asked for all 3 to be put in now but never mind. The clinic I wnet to has recently removed it's statistics from it's website which is a bit worrying. BTW I think it works out at just over £3K for a cycle there, £2.4 + drugs - some charge more than others, some are better than others, it's a minefield!
Coggy, I'm meeting my consultant today too as it's nearly a year since we last had a meeting - good luck for yours

4 goes Where do I have to move to for that?? We've only just got in on one as I'm only 30 which is the lower age limit for NHS IVF treatment.

X posted...twice!

DH said the other day that if it cost a couple of thousand then we'd do it.
When I told him it was more like 5 or 6 he rapidly changed his mind!!!

We always said we would stop after NHS treatment but it's VERY frustrating as only a couple of hundred miles up the road they have up to 4 goes on the NHS. ...'snot fair!!

Make sure you let us know how you get on.
I shall be thinking of you tomorrow.....it's an exciting journey to take....

Hi Coggy - so sorry you won't be trying again any time soon - we're in the same position, once on the NHS and then who knows? We're saving already for a self-funded cycle if NHS one doesn't work, but it might be a while off. If only we could rig win the lottery

Thanks guys - as far as I'm aware it's more of a meet and greet/get to know you/intro to the unit type of thing. Our test results/notes from the hospital gynae unit have been sent through to the clinic already and we're NHS so hopefully they won't want to see our credit card straight away. I think my main question will be timescales and drugs, I have already looked at the stats etc on the HFEA website and on the clinic's own website too. I di this before we even got referred so I had some idea of where I wanted us to be referred to.

I'm 36 BTW.

Oooh nomore.....how exciting...and yes, scary....I wish I was starting all over again though!!! I really hope it all goes well tomorrow for you.
X

bambi......sounds like you've had a grim old time...welcome to our thread.
I'm so pleased that we are carrying on with it. I thought I was going to have to leave you all as we will probably not be having another go at IVF. Thisone was NHS and, unless we win the lottery, I don't think we can afford another go.
At least I can lose weight and keep nattering to you all.

I've got about 10 pounds to lose....7 at least. Only put a couple of pounds on during IVF but probably about another 5 in the last couple of days!!! LOTS of chocolate been consumed!!!!!

AF still very light but I did an 'official test yesterday am and was the expected BFN.....stopped my progerterone today so I expect a heavy and horrid flow tomorrow. [boo hoo]

SS....hope your fainting has stopped. Nasty.

PMSL at your DH's comments OAP....I agree with soosy...what is recreational sex anyway??!!!!
I think after 8 years of ttc you actually forget that it's supposed to be fun!!

So....when should I stop eating these chocolate mint matchmakers then??!!
I've just bought an 'interesting' book...."Get off your ar*e and lose weight"...delightful!!!

Bambi - meant to say that it looks like you have been through the mill a bit. Do you respond well to the drugs on the fresh cycles and produce good embryos? Looks like you have good indications for this time around anyway, fingers crossed for you

NMM it might be an idea to write anything you may want to talk about down, then you won't forget at the crucial moment. I wouldn't worry too much at this first appointment, as you will probably be told that you have to have some tests,if you haven't all ready, nd to return when these are done. Like OAP says they will be done at certain times of your cycle and this will all be explained to you.

Are you in London? as here most clinics don't have much of a wait between tests and starting treatment. At the C& W all tests are carried out in the Gynae dept as as soon as you step into the ACU you are either charged or have to prove you are funded. Bloody nightmare. So it may be the same for you if you are in an NHS hospital.

Good luck, don't panic, if you forget to ask there will be another opportunity.

S x

NMM, I had a great big long post typed out for you and the PC crashed! Sorry. In essence I said that the consultant should take you through what will happen, so this may well raise questions in your mind anyway

Main things to ask are around timing - when can you start etc, what drugs will be used, how often scans are done, the clinic's success rates and their estimation of your own personal success rate. Not sure if you are private or NHS, but lots of info on costs should be given if private. They should also check your history and that of your DH, looking at what has brought you to them.

Can you check the clinic's website tonight - this should have lots of basic information on it which will help you both tomorrow

Do you know if they are going to do any tests tomorrow - I had an internal scan at my first consultation, but this was to check on a known problem with my tubes and to look for hydrosalpinx as well. I've also had day 2 blood tests done at the same time, as it fitted in with my cycle.

Best of luck anyway, do let us know how you get on

Am getting myself all worked up and nervous now - can any of you help me out with what sort of things I ought to be asking tomorrow or expecting to be told about? I know I'll think of 1001 questions afterwards but my mind's blank right now. Assume I don't know anything (I don't apart from what I've already learnt from this thread) and help me out please either with questions to ask or any advice you have for me! Thank you

Oops bambilocket, missed your post completely. Sounds as though you have had a tough time, hope you are luckier this time. Don't talk to me about stopping, not very good at thinking about that!!!

That's fab NMM. Let us know how you get on.

OAP, LOL about your DH! I am just thinking of the at least I didn't forget this time conversation!!!

I know it doesn't sound like I need to lose lots, but I am finding it quite difficult to lose this last 1/2 stone. Its been around since DS so it would be nice to see it go and get back into some clothes I haven't worn for a very long time.

Recreational sex I don't think I have had that in over 10 years, saying out loud almost makes me want to have an affair, to know what its like again. Soosy sobs quietly into a cup of tea!!!

Hello again, thanks for having me! A little more about myself, I am 40 and this will be my third fresh ivf cycle. The first cycle worked but then got the dreaded loss of symptoms at 7 weeks, 7.5 week scan showed one twin with heartbeat and was given a 95% chance of success, then at 9 weeks heartbeat had gone and was booked in for ERPC (who thinks up these names), ERPC was incomplete and ended up getting admitted - to a maternity ward! for final stages of miscarriage - complete devastation, I've never ever felt so much and been so numb all at once, our precious, longed for baby. Anyway, I was desparate to try again and went headlong into next cycle. Success again and then again, loss of first twin at 7 weeks and a worrying time for the next 29 until bundle arrived (lots of pregnacy hiccups and admissions later). STill, not put off we did a frozen transfer last November, I think it worked to an extent, at one point I really felt - wow, here we go again - but then negative and flat but not so absolute in the desparation before when we didn't have DD. So, now I'm ready for the off again, appointment with consultant (Eastbourne) tomorrow, should start injections in about 15 days - fingers crossed! I'm so sorry for you who have had recent bad news on the results, it's so hard to take and so much more difficult with IVF and having to actually decide when to stop rather than just being able to keep going without filling yourself up with drugs and going bankrupt in the process.

SS So sorry.
Please keep the thread going I'm going to need all your wise words and experience (and help to lose weight - could do with losing a stone or more here too)
I rang the clinic today to say we couldn't make the date they gave us and they've offered us an appointment tomorrow instead! It's only an intial "get to know you" but it's the first step...am now really nervous and excited and gobsmacked all at once! I can't quite believe it!

Oh, and am not sure I want to join a weight loss thread if you all have under a stone to lose! I have lots to lose - my clinic didn't have a BMI criterion luckily! I would happily lose another two stone I think. Am a stone and a half lighter than when I had started my successful IVF last time, so I don't think my weight is the reason for the failure this time, but in any event, losing the weight would be lovely

Best way for me is to eat less and to only eat when hungry. Would recommend the French Women Don't Get Fat book, is brilliant for making you want to eat small, intensely flavoured portions of real food, none of the mountains of beige food that surrounds us.

Oh - how cross was I with DH - he bought me a present as instructed, from Molton Brown at the airport, then managed to leave it at the bloody hotel in India! He kept saying, but I bought you a present - just makes it worse that he spent £70 on something that I haven't got!

Soosy, you did make me laugh about having gone off the boil regarding sex! It reminded me of DH yesterday when I told him his sister had got pregnant accidentally for the second time , and he said " what you mean they are having recreational sex, what's that like then do you think". Didn't know whether to laugh or cry (bloody hormomes) so cried instead. Poor DH.

SS - so sorry to hear your m/c has turned up, and you are feeling crappy and fainting. Not great for you at all. Hope your DH is being supportive.

Bambi - welcome to our thread. Someone is due some very good luck shortly to make up for all of the general crapness, so I hope you benefit from this!

Worry I am 39 in July and I know OAP is 39 later this year too. Glad to hear that you feeling a little bit better. I think most DH's behave like yours I know mine does and I tend to not discuss things with him because it is easier than getting way too upset. This last cycle hit me v hard as everything was perfect. I too dream of falling pg naturally, but we would have to have sex for that and I have to admit that after so many years of shagging relentlessly to conceive we have rather gone of the boil!! I should really make a huge effort.
Know what you mean about Pastoral care. Sorry to hear DD sick hope she feels better soon.

SS I have to lose as much as i can and stay inside a healthy BMI, so it could be up to a stone! As my cycle length gets shorter the lighter I become, but I think about 7 pounds will be enough.

hello all of you it's long lost WM! Having gone away and licked my wounds am back again to see how you are all doing... it seems you have been having a rough time, and I am sorry to hear the run of bad news. OUr disappointment was really emotional for us, it felt as though we had lost a member of the family that was never really there in the first place if you see what I mean. DH took me away for a few days, which helped to sort a lot of it out. I had been feelign he didnt care because he never really spoke ot me about it all or asked how i felt, but then it turns out that he was trying not to upset me. then he accused me of not realising he was feeling down about it all but how was i supposed ot do that when he never spoke to me about any of it in the first place!!! Is it me being stupid? Or is it twisted male logic??!

Anyway, went back for follow up wiht consultant - what a nightmare - they were SO defensive about the outcome and DH ended up walking out so dont think we will be going back there. They might be a cuttign edge clinic but their pastoral care sucks.

Been reading Take Charge of Your Fertility and dreaming of falling pg naturally.

Love the idea of weight loss but agree wiht S - this is lovely thread, so we can multi task cant we?

ANyway, as the first (i think) to exit 2WW house, I can say it does get better. WE jsut pick ourselves up and march on dont we?

Bambi - do you mind sharing a bit more about your circumstances (how old are you for instance?!) and your last cycle ?

Re the age thing - love hearing anything positive about chances for over 40s, so more please! - how old is everyone btw? Me 42.
Bye for now, DD sick again. xxx

I think we should keep this one - and also us old timers can offer support to newcomers who are starting treatment.

Bambi - welcome - actually statistically treatment has got to work for someone on this thread so maybe you will be the one!

Soosy - got to lose about 6 lbs so not loads but I am really wobbly and lacking in tone and short so can't carry any extra weight!

Bummer, think my caribbean trip is falling through ....will have to organise something else.

Feeling better this am so far. Off back to the local hospital for a blood test and then to see private gynae tomorrow pm to start monitoring process and see if hcg down etc.

EHM - our sole hope for a positive in the near future - how are you doing?!

Hello bambilocket, I am not entirely sure you may want to join this thread, as we have had a run of bad luck, but we are hoping that EHM will save the day and that Coggy is wrong. But you are very welcome.

SS Glad to hear you are feeling better, but the fainting thing not good, hope DH was around.

I am of the starvation persuasion, I hate exercise, except walking and yoga. DS p*s himself laughing when I do yoga so I only manage to do it once in a while. I do walk almost everywhere so. So for me it is ditching the chocolate and junk and back to proper food at meal times for me. I usually do quite well when I ditch the junk. How much do you need to lose SS?

Do we start a new thread or do we keep this one, I must admit to being quite attached to this one!!

Coggy how are you doing?

Sx

Hi, I joined mumsnet today. I have a 15 month old daughter (IVF) and am about to try again. Had a failed fet last november and are upping the stakes to fresh now. I'd love to join this thread

Ha maybe we'll do a better job of losing weight than getting pregnant!

Ok what are everyone's ideas on how to lose the weight?

I HATE dieting as I like my food too much so it's going to be serious exercise for me as soon as I get the all clear.

Problem is I have only got 4.5 weeks til my fab holiday so need to get going! The idea of walking up the stairs in my current state is daunting so this is going to have to wait I guess.

I actually fainted sort of earlier. Feeling slightly better this evening though.

Love the idea of another thread was hoping not to lose touch , it would be very sad, particularly as we have all gone through soo much this month.

Big hug SS, hope you are ok, well of course you are not, but I hope you are, if that makes any sense at all.

Coggy, You are amazing! don't have anything else to say just that, plus hugs of course.