Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

884 replies

TinyDancer91 · 01/01/2022 19:55

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC Smile

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here Smilex

OP posts:
Thread gallery
46
Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 18/04/2022 19:06

Welcome @Norfolk1983!

A friend of mine didn't have her first until she was mid 40s, you never know unless you try! Fingers crossed for you

OP posts:
Norfolk1983 · 18/04/2022 17:27

Joining this thread as decided to TTC, Both 39 but worried it’s all a little late for our first!

Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 18/04/2022 17:23

Hey @Nyxxie

It's hard isn't it! I love being around my friends kids but so wishing I had my own too... hopefully it will be our turn soon.

I had another bfn this month. Just starting cycle 5 but we are going to Cyprus in 3 weeks so we'll be away the next time AF is due 😬 fingers crossed she doesn't appear!

I've been a bit preoccupied the past few weeks as it was my nieces first birthday, my birthday and my mum had a cancer scare. Lots going on in the next few months too!

I also quit my second job last week and start a new one next week! (Second job as main is self-employment)

OP posts:
Nyxxie · 18/04/2022 16:26

This thread has gone quiet, but needed a place to have a little vent so here I am! Just been wrapping up presents for my friend's baby who is due next month and felt a bit emotional, wishing they were for my own baby 😢

4dpo on cycle 3 now wishing for it to be my turn soon! How is everyone else doing?

Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 15/03/2022 21:55

Welcome @AdaJones26 and @Ellswells3!

It's great to have you both with us and can't wait to hear more about your journeys

OP posts:
Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 15/03/2022 21:54

@taytay2020 at least that's progress! I'm doing ok, AF arrived today a day later than expected for the first time ever, so not sure how I feel about that just yet. I knows it's probably 100% natural and normal and it was only a day but it still sucks!

Also, after this month, AF is next due on my birthday, so it's either going to be a great birthday or a crappy one, depending on what happens 😂

OP posts:
Ellswells3 · 15/03/2022 21:13

Hi all, hope you are happy for me to join in :-). My husband and I are 28 (29 this year) and are planning to start ttc soon.
We were both completely naive to it all and assumed you could pretty much fall pregnant having sex on any day of the month - I have learnt so much the last month or so and I am in shock lol! I do worry about maintaining a pregnancy as I have lupus anticoagulant which increases risk of miscarriage, I will probably speak to GP soon to see if there is anything else I should be thinking about!
I have started pregnancy multi vits but I need to wait until the end of April / beginning of May before ttc as I won’t be eligible for enhanced maternity pay until then (need to be with employer for 1 year at 29 weeks of pregnancy - I had been with my employer 6 years but left for a few months and returned so it is a bit annoying now having to wait but the difference with stat pay is huge so really we need to wait!).

I am bridesmaid for my bestie next year abroad, which is great and I can’t wait, but I do worry she will be unhappy with me bringing a baby along. Due to this I have worked out I can only try for 2 cycles before needing to stop and wait else I would be due to close to the wedding (I want baby to at least have 1st imms before any travel).

Now we have decided we are ready though, I cannot think of anything else and I am getting obsessed which I also worry about as I know stressing about it won’t help! We aren’t telling anyone we are TTC as I worry it could take a while and I don’t want the added pressure, so it’s nice to have an outlet here.

Congrats to all those with BFPs and big hugs to those going onto their next cycles xx

AdaJones26 · 15/03/2022 19:14

Hi Everyone, please can I join the group? I am TTC#1 and we are on cycle 5, currently 4DPO. I am 30 and my partner is 32. Like the original post, we have agreed not to tell anyone. My periods can be irregular and I don't want the extra pressure of friends and family asking if I am pregnant yet. Today was my last CD21 blood test. Thankfully I have a really understanding doctor and she was happy to run ovulation tests once I had the coil removed in September. All have so far shown that I have ovulated, granted at different times each month, but ovulated nonetheless 😁 I used OPKs for the first time this cycle - we managed to DTD 2 days running up to ovulation, on ovulation and 2 days after. Is there such a thing as too much sex? Now the symptoms spotting begins - hate this bit. Has anyone found a good technique to not obsess during the TWW?

Good luck to everyone - just remember there are lots of us playing the waiting game 😊

taytay2020 · 15/03/2022 15:01

@tinydancer91 thanks for the support! I got as far as signing up to a new doctor (same one as my DH and much closer to our new house) so will hopefully be able to book an appointment this week. I hope you're doing okay. xx

lilrosemarie · 14/03/2022 12:58

[quote TinyDancer91]@lilrosemarie any news? Sorry it's been a crazy few weeks for me so only just sitting down to catch up again[/quote]
Sorry, I haven’t been on MN much. 🙈
So, to update … On CD49 AF came finally, I was afraid it was going to be super heavy, but it was not. I went to se my gp and she’s done an ultrasound, told me it looks like a normal cycle, so it’s likely that I just ovulated really late that cycle (probably due to covid/stress).

She did, however, prescribe Clomid. So I started that a few days ago on CD5.

She said everything looks good, no cysts. So will see how Clomid works for me.

My DH is also getting SA - he has that in two weeks time I think. So hope we get some more answers.

Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 14/03/2022 12:47

@lilrosemarie any news? Sorry it's been a crazy few weeks for me so only just sitting down to catch up again

OP posts:
Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 14/03/2022 12:45

@taytay2020 have you managed to see your dr yet? Hope you get some answers soon! Or even better a bfp!

OP posts:
taytay2020 · 28/02/2022 20:31

Hi everyone, I'm out this month. AF arrived yesterday so I'm on cycle 13 now. DH and I are both totally ready, this is incredibly frustrating. 😩
I haven't completely given up ttc naturally and my cycle seems quite regular and 'normal' but I'm going to book a doctor's appointment this week.

lilrosemarie · 28/02/2022 09:22

@ohlife08 yess! My cycles range from 28-31 days. Always! 😬 Today I’m CD43. 🤭 No sign of AF.

ohlife08 · 28/02/2022 09:15

@TinyDancer91 So sorry to hear you're feeling down, it's really hard not to be when there is so much bad news going on. Also as you say, not being able to talk things through with friends/family is incredibly tough. I'm the sort of person who normally loves to talk things through with those around me, but I don't want the pressure as there is quite a high chance I can't conceive naturally after a couple of ops that may have damaged my tubes. It's so tough as naturally it's something you want to be excited about!
Sending love and hope you managed a nice weekend?

@lilrosemarie sorry to hear you had a negative result, hope AF shows soon so that you can move on from this cycle... are you usually very regular?

@Jojo95 have you had any thoughts over the weekend, or a chance to talk things through with OH?

Hope everyone had a nice weekend!

lilrosemarie · 26/02/2022 08:37

@TinyDancer91 I went to get a blood on Monday (i think, the past few days have been a blur) and it was negative, so I assume those tests were either evaps or false positives … or I had a chemical. Period is still not here … I’m on CD 41 🥺🥺🥺

Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 25/02/2022 22:25

Hi all.

Welcome to all of our new friends, thanks for joining us!

@Jojo95 - sorry your other thread seemed to be filled with unsupportive people, but I'm glad that you found us! We can all help & support each other.

Me & my SO were kind of the opposite, he's been ready for AGES and has been waiting for me. Previous relationship meant I was 100% NOT ready to even think about babies before we met (not abusive, just ex was very anti-baby/family/marriage, plus other factors). He's been very understanding though and just waited patiently for me to bring up the subject as he knew about previous issues. Have to admit, he's really healed a lot of emotional wounds and damage for me to get to this stage and I feel so much more myself now than I have done in YEARS!!

That being said, communication was and still is key for us. We talked through why we weren't ready as a couple before and then made sure it wasn't a snap decision to start trying. Try to keep an open communication path between the two of you about how you are both feeling about the journey, hopefully that will help!

@lilrosemarie - have you taken any more tests since and if so, is there an update??

I've been really struggling with emotions the past few weeks, I've sat & cried either for no reason or over really silly things a couple of times recently. Like, I'm not normally one to cry at films (with maybe one or two exceptions) but I cried watching Encanto the other day! The news over the past few days has just left me with an overwhelming sense of dread - I tend not to watch the news but it has been everywhere...

I don't really know what to do, I've always been the 'bubbly one'. I'm just finding it all bit hard, possibly coupled with the disappointment of BFNs that I can't talk to anyone about which might be contributing, although I am trying not to think too much about TTC to stop myself getting too disappointed.

Sorry for the long post, just needed to get some thoughts out of my head!

Sending love & baby dust to you all 💕

OP posts:
ohlife08 · 24/02/2022 15:16

Hi @Jojo95 - sorry to hear that about your OH, it's so tricky isn't it. My DH and I both seemed to be on different pages too, him with work reasons and me with health issues. Finally he said to me he was definitely ready but I think now I've had the coil out he's panicked haha! But he's also not willing to use condoms so he can't be that against it, it's annoying though as I can tell it's given him anxiety when DTD! He also doesn't like change.
Can you get him to open up about why he's not ready, and why does he think he'll be ready in May to see if there's a specific reason? It sounds like he's just panicking now it's a more likely possibility, and some men (mine included!) don't seem to grasp the fact it can take a fair while and even then, it's a long 9 months away...!

Jojo95 · 24/02/2022 14:05

Hello everyone! 😃

I tried to start my own thread but there were lots of very unsupportive people on there which just upset me and you girls seem much kinder!

Been waiting ever so patiently for my lovely OH to be “ready” to TTC who at the end of last year announced “Come on, let’s make a baby!” He also suggested I came off the pill a while before that so my cycles could regulate. On NYE he even asked me my New Years resolution, when I said idk he said “a baby would be nice wouldn’t it?”

For other reasons I wanted to wait until Feb(I won’t bore you with details🤣) but now he says he’s not ready.

I’m devastated 🥺

I know he wants a baby but is terrified of change. He said he wants to wait until May but what if he keeps changing his mind?

What can I do?? I’m loaded up on folic acid and my cupboards are stocked full of OPKs and pregnancy tests.

Excited101 · 24/02/2022 13:43

Thanks, that makes a lot of sense! I guess I’d have expected phrasing like ‘best taken for a minimum of 3 months before conception’ or something for that!

taytay2020 · 24/02/2022 13:04

@excited101 I think they just mean you don't need to take them for more than 3 months before ttc, i.e. you get the benefit after 3 months. I've been taking folic acid every day since Nov 2020!

Excited101 · 22/02/2022 23:22

Thanks @8paws I did read the back of the packet but the ‘up to 3 months before conception’ threw me a bit! I couldn’t see how it would be bad to take them for too long but I was a bit unsure!

8Paws · 22/02/2022 21:56

@Excited101

Thanks *@taytay2020* I went and got some well woman pre conception tablets today (3 for 2 so got a packet for dp) and I took my first one! Figured that I/we should be as healthy as possible (especially with our ages in mind) if it’s to happen.

Planning on getting my implant whipped out pretty sharpish but we don’t really dtd that often (one thing that I’m hoping might come with implant removal will be a sex drive as though I love dtd with dp, I generally have no desire to, and I really really want to- he’s great at it!) it could take months/years though if we’re lucky enough so I guess we could just see what happens for a few months.

One thing though, the tablets say ‘up to 3 months pre conception’, presumably a lot of people take longer than that to conceive, should you stop taking them if you hit the 3 months or something?

@Excited101 It might just mean you need to start taking them 3 months before TTC which is what I'm doing. I will also continue to take my pre conception vitamins until I've conceived and into pregnancy. You need the correct amount of folic acid and vitamin d for development of babies spine and things. I got this information of NHS website and on the back of the packet to my pre conception tablets. Hope this helps 🙂
WildePanda · 22/02/2022 16:26

@ohlife08 just the cheap ones from amazon got a pack off 50 so I could take loads if I was unsure haha

ohlife08 · 22/02/2022 16:04

@WildePanda that sounds like a good plan, did you just use cheap ones or a specific brand? Was wondering about best apps to use etc, I've never tracked a cycle in my life as they were all over the place before the years of pill/coil!! But would be great to get an understanding of what's going on. xx

@lilrosemarie any update on your tests?

Swipe left for the next trending thread