Page 17 | First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

TinyDancer91 · 2022-01-01T19:55:22+00:00

Hi everyone! This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way... Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before. The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc. For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children. SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents. Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side. So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC [smile] If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here [smile]x

Original poster

TinyDancer91 · 10/06/2022 12:05

Hi guys

Sorry for the radio silence from me the past few days.... been in a really weird place mentally and also super busy with other stuff going on (we are currently in show week at my dancing school!).

@Glawen welcome! We (meaning me!) are normally a bit more positive than the last few posts I promise! 😂 It's good news thats your tests came back as ok. Wishing you lots of luck in your journey - please keep us updated!

@ladydorito welcome to you too! Enjoy your trip to France. Lots of luck to you too in your TTC journey!

@Zubi yes, we seem to be almost in sync! Although based on your last few posts, looks like you may be having more luck than me! hoping the BFP sticks for you. The BFN may have been down to how much water you had before, I've heard this can affect results.

As for me, still no AF for me, also still getting BFNs.... feeling very confused right now, both Flo and PreMom apps are telling me AF is late by a day or 2. Not sure what to do or how to feel. I've been feeling VERY hormonal the past week without knowing the reason (AF or BFP), I've wanted to just sit and cry at any given moment, including right now. I don't know what to do for the best, every time I test and get a BFN I feel so crushed but I also just need to know. I've not had any cramping like I normally get around AF but my stomach has been all over the place (maybe a little TMI).

Just to add, the BFNs are definitely BFNs, not even the slightest line is visible. I've used cheaper tests, more expensive tests, early tests... Help a girl out, what do I do?!🥺😵‍💫

OP posts:

mgwyegve · 10/06/2022 10:12

Morning @Zubi !

How are you feeling today? Have you tested again?

Keeping everything crossed for you x

Zubi · 09/06/2022 09:16

Okay so after my panic yesterday, I took a test and it had a faint positive! I didn’t know whether to believe it or not so I took another a few hours later and it was positive too! However it was still faint.

I stayed up late last night (I’m about to start night shifts) and drank 500ml water at 2am. Then slept, woke at 4am had a pee and then woke up at 8am and tested again. This morning the test is negative.

AF is due today so we’ll just see if it arrives but what do you think?

First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

RMS0209 · 08/06/2022 15:12

@Glawen no problem, anything to try help 😊
At the moment I am taking just plain folic acid from boots, I tried supplements that didn't agree with me last cycle but I do have "wild nutrition" ones to take next cycle if need be, I have already started my partner on the male version. What are you taking x

Zubi · 08/06/2022 13:46

@TinyDancer91 we seem to be on a very similar schedule! My AF due tomorrow, I did a test 9DPO and was a BFN, I’m feeling a bit disheartened now as we’ve been trying since January and still nothing.

Day to day I try not to think about it but every now and then (like right now) I feel really down and I wonder why it hasn’t happened for us yet. Both of my sister in laws have got pregnant by accident after really not wanting a baby in the last six months! I just think how has it happened for them when they’re not trying and it’s not happened for me who’s been trying for 6 months! I wish we could just go to the GP now for reassurance, feeling a bit stressed today!

ladydorito · 07/06/2022 17:40

Hi ladies, can I come join in?

DH and I are TTC for a little bambino and after having more sex this month than we've had all year to date... I came on my period this morning. I know it's only cycle one but damn it! I was so hoping we'd be among the lucky first timers club.

Anyone else unreasonably sad this early in the process? I'm such an anxious perfectionist and I feel so cross with myself which I know is idiotic.

On the plus side, we are in France this weekend with friends who, much as I dearly love, I wouldn't want to tell them I'd had a BFP so early on if it had worked for us this month. Our trips away are always boozy affairs so that would have been difficult. Plus now I can have all the charcuterie and brie I want! Clutching at straws I know...

Sending hopeful thoughts to all!

Glawen · 07/06/2022 17:11

@RMS0209 thank you that's so helpful. I've been doing lots of reading and research but so not down with the lingo!

Good luck for your results, hope they go well for you. Thank you for the tip, I'll have a look at the app this evening :)

Are you taking any vitamins/folic acid etc? X

RMS0209 · 07/06/2022 15:08

Hi! @Glawen
Yes, day 1 is the day of your period so if you spot (like I do) don't count that until she makes a proper full appearance.

I am on cycle 6, I think I went crazy cycle 1 but who knows!
No that's very right, I have just had some bloods at the dr yesterday and I have been for a fertility assessment (waiting on my results)
Oh yes! I use the easy @ home you get them on Amazon and the "pre mom" app which is free - it's very good I like it. X

Glawen · 07/06/2022 15:01

Hello @RMS0209 :) that's mad, super close ages! How do you work out what day cycle you are on? Is day 1 the day of your period? My app tells me I'm cycle day 10.
When did you start trying?

I was relieved and pleased! I thought it best to check just in case we needed to speed the process up. Even though we are still young, I wanted to be sure all was ok. I've just had the Amazon stick ones, I think they are called One Step?
Haha slippers on then! Xx

RMS0209 · 07/06/2022 14:56

@TinyDancer91 How are you doing today?

HI @Glawen thats funny, me and OH are 28 + 30 (both 29 + 31 this year!)
Sounds like a good cycle length...I am currently on cycle day 33.

Thats fab news about your tests! you must be delighted.
What OPK's have you ordered?
Keep your feet cosy... cosy feet = cosy womb x

Glawen · 07/06/2022 13:41

Hello. May I join please? We are preparing to TTC in the coming months. I am 29 and DH is 31, this would be our first attempt and pregnancy.

I have been using the Flo app for some time, my cycle lengths are between 25 and 26 days.

I was a little worried about fertility and whether I should freeze eggs (dramatic I know) but I wanted to be sure we would be ok and I did a blood test with Hertility. All came back good and I am now taking folic acid and vitamin D to prepare. I have ordered the OPKs but I'm hoping to try a couple of months first without them to see how we go/not to put to much pressure on it.

Any other tips, I'm all ears. Wishing you all lots of luck and sending love x

Original poster

TinyDancer91 · 06/06/2022 21:59

@mgwyegve we started trying properly in Jan, so we've been through 6 cycles now (or will have when AF arrives this month)

Logically, there's no reason I should be doubting it either, it's just hard being the youngest of 5 siblings and the only one now without kids. I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself to be honest! I'm a bit of an overachiever and don't like to think that there is something I can't do 😂

Thanks @RMS0209! I do try to stay positive normally, just having a rough few days I think, I'll come out the other side, I always do 😊 lots going on for me this week so potential AF really not helping! 😂 AF could show up any time between tomorrow & Thursday based on my normal cycles. Tested today and got a BFN but only 10dpo so part of me knows there is still hope even if the other part of me is crushed by the BFN. Trying to hold out testing again now until at least Thursday!

Love & baby dust to all 💕✨

OP posts:

RMS0209 · 06/06/2022 20:38

Hi @mgwyegve

Welcome.
This is a happy little thread 🙂
I'm 28.

Best thing to do is not tell people, be in your own little bubble.
I am on cycle 6 x

@TinyDancer91 we are staying optimistic remember! everything crossed for you for no AF tomorrow. X

mgwyegve · 06/06/2022 14:40

Thanks so much for your reply. Do you mind me asking how long you've been trying?

It's a horrible feeling isn't it, I know that logically I haven't been trying long and it can take quite a while but I just can't shake the feeling. I have no reason to think there's anything wrong it's just a fear I've always had.

I'm finding it hard to be excited too... initially I was over the moon to start TTC. I had had abnormal cells on my cervical screening for 2 years so once that came back all clear I couldn't wait to make a start... Now I just feel worried allll the time!

I purchased a Fertilily cup this cycle which we've used during the fertile window so will see if that's made a difference at all... And now we wait! 🙃

Original poster

TinyDancer91 · 06/06/2022 14:32

@RMS0209 no, not being rude at all! I just get the feeling that it's not going to happen this month... can't really explain why 🤔

Completely understand why you wouldn't want to test early, wish I had that self control!

@mgwyegve welcome! I feel the same way, plus the more cycles we go through the more I worry that I won't ever be able to conceive 😢 it's been one of my biggest fears for as long as I can remember...

I'm finding it hard to be excited about TTC at the moment if I'm honest, at first I was buzzing and couldn't wait, but now I'm starting to struggle with the fear of not being able to 😔

OP posts:

mgwyegve · 06/06/2022 14:14

Hi everyone!

Hope I'm okay to join in here. I'm 27 my OH is 30. I came off of the combined pill at the end of January and we've been TTC #1 ever since. I've never been pregnant before and although I have no reason to think it at the moment I have always been anxious that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant. I have very regular 27/28 day cycles and light/moderate periods. I have just finished my fertile period so currently in the TWW... This will be our 4th cycle and I know that it's really not a long time to be trying but I can't help but think it just won't happen for me. Has anyone else felt this way? Trying to stay positive but it is difficult sometimes!

We aren't telling anyone that we're TTC to avoid putting any pressure on things.

RMS0209 · 06/06/2022 13:35

@TinyDancer91
Thanks for the attachment, I actually have the link for that website in my phone.. but ever since that big ugly BFN in Jan I've not tested early since. Hurts less, silly I know.

Well fingers crossed AF stays away for you, roll on tomorrow so you can tell.
Why do you not think this month? Sorry if being rude. X

Original poster

TinyDancer91 · 06/06/2022 11:37

I came across this in another thread, just in case it's useful for anyone...

OP posts:

Original poster

TinyDancer91 · 06/06/2022 11:33

@RMS0209 don't worry, I do that all the time 😂

Yes I'm 10dpo today, although AF can show up for me anywhere after 11dpo! 😬

I'm not convinced that how I've been feeling is actually linked to anything, don't think this will be our month if I'm completely honest 😔 I guess we'll find out in the next few days!!

OP posts:

RMS0209 · 05/06/2022 23:51

Hi @TinyDancer91 so sorry for not replying I must have read this then got into a rabbit hole haha.

Yay you must be 9DPO now are you? How are you doing? I am 6DPO (7DPO in 10 minutes) ha ha.

Those symptoms sound great, I try not to symptom spot anymore as I feel something and AF still appears so I just try to be silent those two weeks now ha ha

I really want this to be our month too, sending all the baby dust!!! X

Original poster

TinyDancer91 · 03/06/2022 23:05

Hi @RMS0209 how are you doing? I'm now 7DPO but feels like 17!!

I've been feeling really weird the past few days, work up with the worst headache I've ever felt the other day, currently feel a bit sick after eating (or not eating and just being hungry), and every now & then feeling a bit out of it.

Again, trying not to read into it and get my hopes up (again!) but deep down I so want this to be our time. I feel almost like I'm losing hope at this point and we could do with some good news.

Baby dust to everyone!!

OP posts:

RMS0209 · 01/06/2022 22:36

Hi! @TinyDancer91 I am officially 1DPO now woo hoo.

Hope you have nice plans for the long weekend x

Original poster

TinyDancer91 · 01/06/2022 21:55

How's everyone doing? I currently have the TWW blues. Had a few random pains the last couple of days but trying to not read into it.

Anyone else feeling really tired lately? Not sure if it's the holiday come down or the changing weather at the moment...

OP posts:

jellybeanjc · 24/05/2022 22:53

TinyDancer91 · 24/05/2022 22:19

Hi @jellybeanjc!

Firstly, its amazing that you got a BFP so quickly after coming off the pill, but also sad that that one wasn't meant to be. I've read online that in a (rather twisted imo) way that miscarriage can be a good sign as it shows that you are able to get a BFP, it's just multiple miscarriages that are reason to worry.

I'm now in the middle of cycle 6 of TTC after being on the pill for 11 years, the first couple of cycles I was obsessed with OPKs and timings, but the more cycles I've gone through the more relaxed I am becoming - strange as you would think it should be the other way around! I'm still using OPKs, but more to keep track and help me to predict when AF will show up and when to test for a BFP/BFN, rather than using them to determine when to DTD.

I'm not by any means saying that it's any less disappointing or hurts my heart any less each time I get a BFN. I still want a BFP with all of my being, but I'm slowly accepting that I can't plan EVERYTHING in my life.

I hope that my mini-brain dump helps in some way, but also, that was the point of this thread when I set it up. Feel free to jump off-load at any time, even if it's something you don't need an answer to and just need to get out of your mind.

Baby dust to you all!!

Thank you so much for replying. I know logically I just need to calm down (and accept that I can’t control this...) - hopefully I'll follow in your footsteps and chill out over time. Need to stop with the OPK obsession too!! Fingers crossed for your BFP soon xxx

Original poster

TinyDancer91 · 24/05/2022 22:19

Hi @jellybeanjc!

Firstly, its amazing that you got a BFP so quickly after coming off the pill, but also sad that that one wasn't meant to be. I've read online that in a (rather twisted imo) way that miscarriage can be a good sign as it shows that you are able to get a BFP, it's just multiple miscarriages that are reason to worry.

I'm now in the middle of cycle 6 of TTC after being on the pill for 11 years, the first couple of cycles I was obsessed with OPKs and timings, but the more cycles I've gone through the more relaxed I am becoming - strange as you would think it should be the other way around! I'm still using OPKs, but more to keep track and help me to predict when AF will show up and when to test for a BFP/BFN, rather than using them to determine when to DTD.

I'm not by any means saying that it's any less disappointing or hurts my heart any less each time I get a BFN. I still want a BFP with all of my being, but I'm slowly accepting that I can't plan EVERYTHING in my life.

I hope that my mini-brain dump helps in some way, but also, that was the point of this thread when I set it up. Feel free to jump off-load at any time, even if it's something you don't need an answer to and just need to get out of your mind.

Baby dust to you all!!

OP posts: