First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

Hey ladies,

so I posted on this thread a little while ago. And thought I’d come back as this past weekend we officially decided to go ahead a TTC!
im so excited and grateful and nervous.
I will be ovulating over the weekend so we will be dtd LOTS but I know how unlikely it is to fall pregnant first try.
Im just so excited to be trying for our first baby.
im 35 and my OH is 41 so it is definitely a little bit nerve wracking.
baby dust to you all ✨✨✨✨✨✨

Hi all. First Post. I'm 35 and SO is 37 and we had always said we didn't want children but on reflection more to do with not being in right house/job/place in life and 2 weeks ago we had a big heart to heart and realised that we did want to TTC but just a bit scared by it all.. any way reading this thread has been so helpful and reassuring. This is month 1 and SO has suddenly developed an almost obsessive interests in my cycles after 20 years of him shutting of everythime I mentioned hormons or periods. I'm taking this as a positive. I'm ovulating this week ?yesterday according to timing (but not using tests or anything yet its only month 1!).
I'm analysing every twinge I feel and really didn't appreciate how weired this feels waiting for 2 weeks for AF !
Nice to read of people BFPs. I've got the tests ready (man bought as a present yesterday bless). Such a weird place to be mentally right now.

@TinyDancer91 Thank you! I'll soon be in the TWW and it'll all be in limbo from there! Thanks for being so welcome... thinking of everyone! WE GOT THIS!

you were all right - I caved (as soon as you buy a test 'just so you've got one' that's it!) - not pregnant. Although it's still 3 days before af is due so I know there's a margin of error. I feel pretty alright as I dont really know what I was expecting and it has only been 3 weeks since my copper coil came out! We dtd according to my app flo's predicted ovulation but know that isn't that accurate. Will try some ovulation strips this month - any advice with these?!

Congratulations @Moonlighting !!!

@Moonlighting congratulations!!

im around 11 dpo of a 31 day cycle. BFN this morning. Main dilemma is I’m going to a hen party on Saturday (af due Monday). Not sure if I should drink or not..was planning on doing a clear blue early test Saturday but then what if I’ve just ovulated late..
Then comes the dilemma of coming up with an excuse not to drink on the hen party 🤦🏽‍♀️😂

@Moonlighting Don't you dare feel guilty! Massive congratulations! We are all in the same boat, and it also reminds me that you never know what someone's journey is... I'll admit to shedding a tear yesterday when my period arriving combined with the fourth pregnancy announcement from a friend this month...!

Fingers crossed for an August BFP for me, we have decided already if it's BFN we are going to book a holiday on the day my period arrives to cheer me up...

Morning all,

Just a brain dump... we're TTC #1 as of today, I'm so excited/nervous for the journey ahead... feels absolutely crazy to think I'm at this point in my life now where I'm in a happy relationship and we both feel so ready and happy to start TTC.

Wishing all the baby dust for you all (and myself!) BFP's incoming!! 🌟

@Moonlighting congratulations! 🎉 x

@thecoconutcat Hello! I did plan on waiting but then curiosity got the better of me and i tested 9DPO, negative. 10DPO this morning and BFN, not even a squinty line!
Im convinced im out this month, but it is still early days! X

I feel absurdly guilty for this, but my update is that that indent turned into a proper BFP today 😳 It would have felt disingenuous not to come back and tell here, but I know seeing this will also make some of you feel heartsick, as I did so many times reading those words from other people. Sending love and courage to anyone in that boat right now.

@HS99 hey and thanks for the kind message. You know how uniquely badly placed we are in this situation, haha. Work amps up the stress in literally every way - we have to persist in trying not to absorb that into ourselves and this process!

@thecoconutcat your plan for testing is very sensible and if you can stick to it will save you loads of grief, not to mention money. If you cave though, just know you’re in excellent company with practically everyone else 😂

Wishing best, best, best of luck to everyone. I will be reading and hoping to hear loads of good news.

Ah, good luck!! keep me updated! are you planning to test or just see if AF is late?

@thecoconutcat hello! I am also 8DPO, cycle 2, TTC baby 1!
AF for me is due on Sunday, nice to have somebody so close to my cycle!
I have zero symptoms at all, just had a bit of a pinkish watery liquid when i wiped yesterday and cramping that lasted hardly no time and then nothing.

Fingers crossed for you!!!

Hi everyone, we are TTC month 1 with baby 1. I am 8 days post ovulation (according to flo, am not doing ovulation tests atm as we are just 'seeing how it goes') and have been experiencing nausea and sore boobs. AF is due in 7 days so could be PMS, but the nausea isn't something I usually experience. We DTD a lot over my ovulation period so waiting to see what happens...trying not to get emotionally invested as its our first try! When would you recommend doing a test? I am planning to wait until at least Monday when AF is due (and my cycles are normally v regular...) thanks in advance and fingers crossed for you all!!

Hi @Moonlighting

Your story is so similar to mine. I am also on cycle 4 TTC #1 and also a dr which is making things so much worse 😂 (not O&G also).

I know exactly how you feel and feel like my emotional reaction has also been similar and I definitely do feel it is over the top. I feel it’s the only thing I haven’t been able to control and plan exactly as I wanted in my life so far which is what’s driving me crazy and I totally get the feeling like a failure bit.

Anyway AF came early last month which meant my fertile period was on holiday and as much as I tried to forget about monitoring ttc I was well aware of my dates 😂. I’m 8DPO, boobs are more sore than usual but no other signs so far and trying to hold off testing for as long as possible.

Finally got a static smiley face on CB OK! So hopefully this works.

Good luck to all of you!

@TinyDancer91 thanks for the lovely message. Completely get you RE hormonal contraception - I remember being sold it so hard when I was at secondary school as a wonder product with no side effects, hah! I hope sex/contraception education has improved now…

Today AF yet to come, CD38 but really now feeling like it’s coming and only a matter of time. Stupidly bought a double pack Clearblue test at Tesco in a fit of pique this afternoon and got a vvvfl that is almost certainly an evap. However, have spent too much of this afternoon and now past midnight obsessively researching which has done nothing but made me crazy.

This is the first time I’ve bought an impulse test in front of DH (the others have all been in secret from the pharmacy inconveniently placed right opposite our flat LOL) and he was aghast at the price. Hopefully that will shame some self control into me.

So anyway, I have to take a complete break from Mumsnet/Googling/compulsively buying tests for some time for the sake of my sanity. I’ll come back and say where I’m at when my brain has settled a bit. Wishing all the rest of you a happy and safe time in the heatwave, don’t melt!

Hi @imy

Sorry for the late response it's been a busy few days. Yes, I think I need to stick to that mentality. I guess it's the thinking what if we are the small minority. Hopefully this will be your month.

Aww, that makes sense, it's good that you shared.

So I definitely got the EWCM today, but still high fertility on the clear blue and not the peak fertility yet. I've had high fertility for 5 tests now. Hopefully tomorrow it will say peak fertility. But this is making me think the reason we didn't get pregannnt last month as we stopped having sex the day after ovulation was predicted on my app. and bassed on the clearblue I haven't ovulated yet, but Flo predicted my date to be yesterday and the other app today. So cllearly I'm ovulating later than expected.

Hey everyone, afraid I’m here for a brain dump too. Honestly, this whole process is making me completely crazy. I’ve been really struggling to sleep and end up leaving bed to read these Mumsnet threads on my own in the wee hours… But what you’ve all shared in this thread spoke to me so much that I felt I had to make an account to splurge all the things I can’t tell anyone else.

I’m 29 and DH is 28, we’re TTC #1 on cycle 4 now. We’re young and it’s early days so I know rationally that there’s probably nothing to worry about. However, my dirty little secret is that I’m a doctor, so my mind is polluted with unwanted medical knowledge that just adds unnecessary anxiety. (As I’m not a gynaecologist I probably think I understand more than I actually do which makes it worse lmao.)

The things that concern me are that DH had a testicular torsion when he was younger, which was fixed in time to save the testicle but as I understand but might still have an impact. What worries me more is that my periods have for many years been a longer and slightly irregular cycle of (normally) 32-35 days. Since we started TTC these have become 36-39 days and my usually predictable PMS symptoms have now gone haywire so as to trick me into thinking I’m pregnant every cycle. In fact last month I was so certain I was pregnant that I literally did not believe the BFN - the psychological distress when AF came knocking felt almost unbearable. My GP did PCOS bloods years ago and said they were fine but I still worry that it’s “me”. Also, I’ve put on a bit of weight in the last few months pushing me from healthy to overweight BMI which I hate myself for.

I have been making a concerted effort to just roll with the TTC process and not medicalise it because if I do I will get even crazier, doing OPKs every 5 minutes .etc. Luckily DH is horny af so we DTD every 1-2 days anyway except when I’m bleeding heavily or on nights. So I don’t think knowing more will change things right now except add to my control freakishness. But this means that I don’t know when I’m ovulating or if I even am. But today I am CD36 (AF expected any moment/a few days back…), minus usual PMS pattern but with BFN, and just feeling like it’s never going to happen for us.

Like I said, logically I know this emotional reaction is totally out of proportion with the situation. But something @TinyDancer91 said a few pages back resonated - I’m such an overachiever and so used to things going my way that I just can’t bear this one thing, the only thing I’ve ever really wanted, not happening immediately and feel I’m somehow at fault. Sorry, I know that must make me sound like a conceited prat, but maybe the honesty will be cathartic?

DH (who knows nothing about human bodies) is lovely but so innocent and living in a world of rainbows and fairies. He keeps talking about our future baby as if I’m already pregnant and I’m finding this so hard, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or worse still burst his bubble - ignorance is bliss and all that. We told our parents, my sister and my 2 best friends for a support network in case of MC or similar. They’ve been really sensitive luckily. Annoyingly I was also forced to disclose it at work (if your boss asks you directly “Are you going to try for a baby soon?” how do you shimmy around that?!) and it feels like practically every shift I’m getting unasked for fertility advice. But altogether I feel like everyone is watching and waiting which just ramps up the pressure.

Thank you to anyone who has made it to the end of this lol. So genuinely happy for those of you who’ve had your BFPs here and wishing the very, very best of luck to those who are still waiting ❤️

I also feel the same about being worried it might not happen for us but realistically, most people do get pregnant within a few months of trying. For some people it takes longer and for others it might not happen, but that is a small minority. I know lots of people who got pregnant within a month or two and I myself was an accident (or a nice surprise!!) so I try to remind myself of that when I am worrying. Now that I have ovulated I am trying to just not think about it and my husband and I have agreed we will test at 11DPO (he wants to test at 14DPO but I can't wait that long!). I'll try to not think about it much for the next 10 days (let's see how that goes!!).

I am a massive oversharer too like you and tell my friends everything. I told one friend because she is a v v good friend to both of us and it is her hen do next year in Ibiza - so I wanted to basically say, look I do want to come but there is a chance I might be 8/9 months pregnant or have a newborn so I don't want to commit to it right now. I wouldn't have told her otherwise, but it is nice to have someone to talk to about it all. She was super happy and excited for me!

@TinyDancer91 Thank you!!!

I'm so sorry ,hopefully the next cycle works out for you and it was just meant to happen then.

Hi @imy
Yeah it's weird I don't think I had the EWCM last month , but two months back I definitely had it as we were just mentally preparing at the stage and i was noticing all the different things to learn. This month I'm just currently very wet so I'm thinking my EWCM must be close. Ahh it could be the pill so you probably just need to wait and see sometimes the body doesn't react in the expected way but still you get pregnant.
Honestly, it's kind of frustrating and I know it's not been long, but I think it's just the worry that what if it doesn't happen for us. One of my biggest fears. Most of our married friends havev had their first child within the llast two years. But tbh we never felt ready till now. I just get worried that what if we aren't lucky. We haven't told anyone at all, so it's just the two of us and it's crazy not being ablle to talk about it which is why I joined mumsnet so I could speak to people in the boat as us. Oh my goodness ,exactly how we felt, it's such a big decison to make.
At least you told your friend ,how was their reaction? Honestly, I always overshare and I'm trying really hard not to with people regarding this. Plus I'm half worried,, I'd rather no one knows. lol