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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

884 replies

TinyDancer91 · 01/01/2022 19:55

Hi everyone!

This thread may or may not contain questions, I've mainly started it to be my brain dump safe space but in an excited way, not a bad way...

Me (30) and my SO (34) have decided to take the leap and start TTC! We have both wanted children for a while but just knew the timing wasn't right for either of us until now. For me, any time I see a baby or even baby clothes recently my heart aches for it to be my turn. I've never really had that strong feeling before.

The reason behind this 'safe space' is that we have agreed not to tell anyone we are TTC. We just want to avoid any pressure or disappointment if things don't go to plan, etc.

For context, I am the youngest of 5, the only girl the only one of my siblings without children.
SO is the oldest of 2, his brother has a child who lives with BM away from here so isn't really seen much by grandparents.

Both families are great and would only want the best for us but I personally don't want to feel any sort or pressure at all (intended or not) from either side.

So, we start our journey, we are on cycle 1 SWI, not expecting anything to happen this cycle and trying not to turn in to a crazy lady about TTC Smile

If anyone else needs a brain dump safe space, feel free to join me here Smilex

OP posts:
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Livlaughloathe · 07/08/2022 11:56

So sorry you are hurting @TinyDancer91
As everyone has said, don’t lose hope, it will happen for you.
I know everyone’s experience with the GP is different but if there are any particular symptoms that are concerning you, go earlier than the 1 year. I had spotting that was worrying me in the context of TTC and the doctor ended up doing lots of blood tests for that but he checked all the general fertility stuff too. Otherwise, I’d been looking at hertility to do blood tests to get a clearer picture. I was really starting to think something was wrong and that it was going to stop it happening for me but then it’s happened. It could happen when you least expect it. I think we’ve been tricked into thinking it should happen easily and quickly but it’s so complex and so many things have to align perfectly at one given moment so we’ve got to be kinder to ourselves in the months it doesn’t happen. You’re not out yet this month and I’ve got everything crossed for you. Sending lots of love ❤️

thecoconutcat · 07/08/2022 11:06

@TinyDancer91 sending lots of love to you, it WILL happen. Like others have said, have you shared how you're feeling with your DH or got any professional support to investigate what might be going on? sending strength and hope xxx

BeeLieve86 · 07/08/2022 10:28

@TinyDancer91

i am so so sorry you are struggling.

I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you. But please don’t give up. It WILL happen for you. Keep that hope and gratitude in your heart.

have you been to your GP about it? If you’ve been trying over a year (if you’re under 35) then you have every right to go and try and find out if there is something wrong.

sending you lots of positive thoughts and baby dust ✨✨✨

EMC2022 · 07/08/2022 08:40

@TinyDancer91 I am so so sorry!

And never apologise for a depressing post. You should always keep it real on here because your feelings are so valid. It's really not fair.

I wish there was something I could do to help you.

May I ask, if its not too personal, how is your OH handling all of this?

Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 06/08/2022 23:07

OH is at work and I've been sat here now ugly crying for almost an hour because I'm so convinced now that it will never happen for us. I hate this. TTC was supposed to be an exciting time full of things to look forward to, now it just feels full of pain, disappointment and failure.

Mentally, I don't know how much longer I can do this for.

Everywhere I turn at the minute there seems to be pregnancy/baby posts. I want to be happy, especially for the people I know who are posting, but I can't. I'm finding myself more & more resenting them.

Sorry for the depressing post, but I needed to get my feelings out there and this is the only place I can go right now.

I just want this so badly and there's nothing I can do to make it happen. ❤️‍🩹😢

OP posts:
Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 06/08/2022 22:03

@EMC2022 no, I caved last night.... though I saw a very faint line but tested again today and nothing... don't know why I do this to myself! Trying to think positive and remember my own advice of 'you're not out until AF arrives' but it's so hard 😭

I'm becoming more & more convinced that it's never going to happen for us naturally (or maybe at all)

OP posts:
EMC2022 · 06/08/2022 18:22

Fingers crossed for you @TinyDancer91 Have you managed to stay strong with the no testing until Monday?

I joined this thread at the start but luckily fell pregnant the end of January. I'm 7 months along now but love checking in here and reading every one's updates every few days and routing for everyone to get their BFPs.

Baby dust to you all!!! 💫

Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 06/08/2022 17:59

9dpo.... feeling like 90dpo! Trying not to symptom spot but I've been feeling really tired, nauseous and crampy for a couple of days. My boobs are getting sore and sensitive too. But this could all be PMS! I've also been getting very hot very quickly too recently.

Fingers crossed for us all 💕🤞🏻✨

OP posts:
Babydust99 · 06/08/2022 16:26

@thecoconutcat you're welcome 😊

@LauraA31 I'm pretty sure I'm 2dpo, peak was on Thursday morning but O pains ended on Thursday evening and sore boobs started yesterday

BeeLieve86 · 06/08/2022 13:54

I’m 7dpo and feel no different from every other month :(((((

LauraA31 · 06/08/2022 12:57

@Babydust99 Im 3DPO today :)

thecoconutcat · 06/08/2022 10:51

@Babydust99 thank you!

Babydust99 · 06/08/2022 10:44

@thecoconutcat the app will just be an estimate whereas the cb opk is testing your hormone levels. I'd aim for every other day if you can until peak and then 2/3 days in a row if possible when you hit the peak

thecoconutcat · 06/08/2022 10:29

echoing @TinyDancer91 it's so nice to have this thread to talk on! I'm not talking to anyone except my husband about TTC, and sometimes you have so many questions/ thoughts that you just don't want to burden them with.

This is my flo app this month and predicted cycles...I am also using clear blue OPK. According to Flo I am ovulating today, According to OPK I am still 'high fertility' (day 3 of this) and not yet at the 'peak'. Anyone else have any experience of this? Our schedules are busy over the next few days so trying to work out optimum days to DTD! 3 times this week so far, 3 times the end of last week too. is it better to do it today or wait for OPK to show peak fertility? or am I just overthinking 😂

First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...
Babydust99 · 06/08/2022 10:20

Anyone else 1/2dpo?

Plantymcplant · 04/08/2022 14:17

@TinyDancer91 Yes it's so nice to have people to talk too who understand. I'm so sorry it didn't happen for you last month. I will keep everything crossed for you this month.

I will keep the hope till AF comes, I just think by body doesn't know how to do it's thing yet. It might make timing things difficult for a while.

Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 04/08/2022 10:25

@Plantymcplant you're not 100%out until AF arrives! Fingers crossed for you!

I'd like to say I have a routine/plan but I have zero self control 😂😂 I end up getting my hopes up then having a little cry every time AF arrives... I was so convinced last month was the one for me that I tested almost every day from 10dpo... despite all the BFNs. Not helped by the one evap that I got as well!!

Coming on here and sharing my thoughts helps. I only share so much with my OH as I don't want to worry or stress him out and no-one else knows so I can't talk to anyone else. I feel like we've got a really nice bunch of ladies here and I'm forever grateful for you all 💕 (oh god, I'm going through the soppy/tearful stage now!! 😂🥺🥲)

OP posts:
Plantymcplant · 04/08/2022 10:16

@TinyDancer91 Thanks! Still no AF today and it's day 31 so I got excited again and took a test. Very definitely negative. Do you have a routine of when you test to avoid all the ups and downs?

thecoconutcat · 04/08/2022 07:32

@LauraA31 thank you that's so helpful! I tested this morning and had high LH so that's really reassuring...!

LauraA31 · 04/08/2022 07:30

@thecoconutcat My LH levels right super quickly and drop quickly too! I go low, high, peak, high and low within 5 days! I use the easy@home test the same as @TinyDancer91 and the app is wonderful and has really helped me understand my cycle! 🙂

@TinyDancer91 I’m glad that you are having a chilled TWW, im also in the TWW now and im also feeling very chill… im only 1DPO but boyfriends birthday has occupied my mind and his birthday is after AF is next due which is brilliant. I’m also thinking that i will get a BFN so that might be adding to the chillness of me haha!

@Livlaughloathe Congratulations 😅😅

Original poster
TinyDancer91 · 03/08/2022 23:13

@Plantymcplant - I agree, the hope/disappointment/hope cycle is hard to get used to.

@thecoconutcat - my LH rises really quickly too. Mine goes from low to high in one day then high to peak to high again the next. I use the easy@home tests with the premom app. It's really helped me to understand my cycle, especially after 11+ years of being on the pill and having no bleed at all!!

I keep feeling a strange twinge near my left hip today, but it could just be the way I'm sitting. It only lasts around a minute or so, then disappears. I've felt it 3 times today. I'm only 6po so feel like it's way too early for any symptoms anyway!

I'm feeling quite chilled about the TWW this cycle. It might just be that deep down I'm expecting another BFN...

@Livlaughloathe - oh I really hope it's a sticky bean for you!! Dr Google is the worst! Sending lots of love your way.

I'm trying to keep myself busy and hold off from testing until at least Monday. I ended up buying a new game for the Switch today to keep my mind occupied 😂

Love & baby dust to all 💕✨

OP posts:
Livlaughloathe · 03/08/2022 18:47

@BeeLieve86 So hard not to read into everything! Good that you’re feeling calm about things. I wish I was a more chilled person 🤣

I’ve started spotting and the cramps have felt worse as the day goes on 😣 I don’t know how worried I should be. Dr Google gives mixed messages and I am a stress head! Scared that I’ll test tomorrow and it will be fainter.

Livlaughloathe · 03/08/2022 18:41

@Plantymcplant well it’s good that the signs are there that you’re going to return to your normal cycles quickly. The end of month hope to disappointment to hope again is tough. I didn’t expect to feel so much disappointment after the first month either but it just goes to show how much you want it.

@thecoconutcat thank you so much! Fx for you this month too, good luck with the ovulation tracking!

BeeLieve86 · 03/08/2022 17:49

@thecoconutcat youre very welcome!

so today I’m only 4dpo but I do actually feel quite chilled out about this tww. I have been keeping an eye on any symptoms, so far they aren’t much different to my other cycles except today when I felt some twinges in my left lower abdomen. Only lasted a minute or so. Obviously it’s way too early to be a pregnancy symptom so I won’t be reading into it. But who knows!

baby dust ✨✨✨

thecoconutcat · 03/08/2022 17:33

BeeLieve86 · 03/08/2022 17:22

@thecoconutcat
absolutely normal. I’ve been doing ovulation testing for a few months, even before we started ttc because I’m 35 and wanted to really make sure. Anyway, my LH levels increased super quick. I’ll attach a photo of my LH tests this month. Xx

@BeeLieve86 thank you so much that's so helpful to see!! xx

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