First timers, TTC. Safe space for brain dumps...

@AgeGapBbe the NHS recommend you go to the doctor if you haven't conceived for a year (under 35) and 6 months (over 35).
I guess if it was me I would go sooner rather than later if I could.

I'm 34 in October and my husband is 36 so it's 1 year for us even though we're on the older end of that scale.
I was thinking we could go for some fertility testing earlier and pay to go privately but havent discussed it with my husband yet. There is somewhere fairly locally that runs all the usual tests for a fixed fee.

It’s hard isn’t it. When we started, we were all ‘see how it goes’ then I had no periods so I got ovulation tests, which I started tracking. Now I have pregnancy tests too- just cheap ones. And I now tell do when I’m ovulating and we make sure to dtd at the right time. Not really the ‘see how we go’ that we said back in feb! I guess that was a while ago though.

Sorry to hear of so much disappointment 😢
I’ve had 2 positive ovulation months now, I have only in the last 3 months ish had a more regular cycle back again after my implant was taken out in feb. We’ve DTD at the ‘right time’ but nothing so far.

it feels great to be getting the positive results but I’m 35 and dp is 56 so I really worry what if he doesn’t have any decent sperm anyway and nothing I do will make it better.

I don’t know when to go to the dr to have it looked into. I said I’d go at Christmas time if no joy but I don’t want to leave it too late! Best case scenario would be an October/November BFP.

@TinyDancer91 I fully agree, I can't bare to hear anyone moaning about their children, even though like you say I know it's tough I just think you don't know how lucky you are! ❤️

On reflection today (feeling a little more rational 😂) I think the constant comments from my family member about how they had conceived on the first go off the pill had really got in my head & I was setting myself up to think the same, big mistake!

I'm feeling better today, don't know how to play this next cycle whether to carry on with all the tracking or just take a more relaxed approach, if I can. Which I know full well I can't 🙈

@TinyDancer91 i am so sorry that this wasn’t the cycle for you. It’s so tough, but it WILL happen for you!! 9 cycles is only 9 attempts. I know it feels like forever but in the grand scheme of things it’s literally 9 tries, and with only a 15-20% chance of falling pregnant each cycle the odds really aren’t in our favour!

That being said I know how tough it is to stay positive and how awful it feels when there’s yet another BFN and AF arrives once again.
I caved and told my best friend that we are trying, I didn’t want to tell anyone until we had happy news to share but I’ve been struggling and she’s always so brilliant and making me feel everything’s okay. She’s very much into the power of the universe and affirmations… something I’d never really considered but worth a try if it helps me stay a little more positive hey!

I’m going to take a little break from testing and tracking for at least the next cycle (see how long I can last without obsessing) it’s my OH’s birthday and we have some nice things planned and a little break away. Just going to try and relax and put it to the back of my mind for a while as let’s face it, it really is physically and emotionally exhausting.

positive thoughts and baby dust to you all! Keeping everything crossed for some BFP’s for us all 💕✨

@polkadotdasies88 I know exactly how you feel, although I didn't get that on cycle 1 I have definitely felt that way the past couple of cycles and hearing other people boasting about getting pregnant really quickly just cuts at me.
I am also sick of people complaining about their small children. I keep these thoughts to myself because I know they're irrational (being a parent is really hard) but I just find it so hard to hear at the moment.

Hope you're ok, be kind to yourself

@LauraA31 @TinyDancer91 thanks both, it does help to have these places to vent as I don't feel like I can discuss it with my friends and family. My husband is supportive but I feel a bit embarrassed about how much its affecting me

Hi, I just need to talk to people who understand!
I'm TTC #1, AF just arrived today after my 2nd cycle off Cerazette. I had positive ovulation tests this cycle so I stupidly thought I might be in with a good chance of success, so it's hit me hard that it's not.
I've had a huge cry this morning, I'm 34 and literally everyone around me is pregnant / just had a baby, yesterday I went to meet a new addition to our family and it took all of my strength not to cry watching my husband hold the baby. Said family member passed me some OPKs as she didn't need them as she conceived first time, those words are echoing around my head today.
I know it's still very early days with regards to trying and I probably shouldn't even be this bothered but I can't help it. I do have a chronic auto immune health condition that is currently well managed but I can't help but wonder if it's affected my fertility.
I'm really taken aback at how upset I feel today and just need to get it off my chest to other people who understand ❤️

@LucyLoopyLu fingers crossed the next cycle is the one for you!

Im only on cycle 3 and im feeling super down about the time it has taken, and it’s only cycle 3! I really take my hat off to the ladies who have been trying for such a long time, your strength is amazing!

Likewise for me, people around us who are announcing pregnancies and it’s happened so soon! Boyfriends brother’s girlfriend is due in the next month or two with their second, they laugh about how they don’t actually care they are having another and never planned for one. I sometimes hear it on the phone (when they can be bothered ringing him) and just think what on eartthhhh and it’s taking us month’s!
I thought it would be easy and stupidly thought cycle 1 would be a certain positive!

I love these threads get me through the harder times! 🙂

Hi all.
Please can I join?
I have been posting on some of the other threads but just seen this one.

I had my copper coil removed in March, had a cycle where we were not really trying (on holiday), and have properly tried for 4 cycles now. Just got a BFN on 14dpo and AF is due tomorrow.

I'm struggling a little bit to get my head around this not being easy and I think I really had hoped it would happen fairly quickly for us. I have so many close friends and family who are pregnant and got lucky first or second cycle on their first or second baby. Two people very close to me also announced pregnancies in the past month which has been hard. I feel like we're the only ones left behind.

I know we are still early days and I will feel better once AF starts but just thought this might be a good thread.

Sorry to anyone else who is also having a tough time

@TinyDancer91 Crying is okay... allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, we're here for you. You still have a few days to test again? 'You're not out until AF arrives' <3

Yes ♥️🥰 we are all one cycle closer! Xx

@TinyDancer91 thank you. Also, I'm so sorry for missing your post, and then posting myself - I feel so selfish 🙃 I'm so sorry this month wasn't what you wanted.... I'll tell you my best advice - you're one cycle closer 🌟💓

@thecoconutcat i used Flo and then started to test ovulation with easy@home snd the pre-mom app, it’s a wonderful app!

@thecoconutcat yes... I use Flo too... I may grab some ovulation tests/temperature supplies to see? Or might just entirely let it all happen naturally next cycle... I'm not sure yet 😅🙈 fingers crossed for you!!! Thank you for the recommendation x

@H1994 that was me last month! used flo for period tracking for years. Used OPK for the first time this month and turns out my day of ovulation is different to Flo's prediction. No idea of the outcome of this but worth giving a try for you too? x

Brain dump incoming:

First month TTC - no tracking, just an app to predict ovulation (been using it for 2 years so it has a lot of my info stored) - DTD day before and day of predicted ovulation. AF due yesterday, been spotting since last night, pink, then brown... still spotting now and have cramps, have done a test, got a BFN... although it was my first cycle and I knew the likelihood of falling pregnant first time was very slim, I'm still deflated 🙈... Will see if a proper bleed occurs, if not then will test again Wednesday

@Livlaughloathe well said! ♥️

@TinyDancer91 I'm so sorry :( Sending you virtual hugs