Waiting to TTC,any one else in similar sitch??

Hi Halycon and welcome!!

Playing your full of useful info, i think my company will be the type to jus provide the legal minimum but 9 months paid will be fine, i intend to only go back for max 2 full days or 3 half days anyway, ya know when you can just see your job not being baby friendly??? lol oh well

I am a defo now so list reads

Diege, 37, DC4, work-related, April 08.

Bemylilbaby,20, DC1, Miscarriage/money,May 08.

NatalieJane, 24, DC3, Miscarriage and a few little other things, May 08.

HalyconDays, old, DC3, building work, July 08

HorseyWoman, DC1?, Getting well, August 08

Playing, 25, DC1, financial, Sept 08

Cosmogirl, 25, DC1, financial/work-related, December 08.

Tinx, DC1, Get fit, ????????

Although i am trying to get a bit fit too lol does anyone have any interesting plans coming up ? i actually looked at prams today but decided that would be a step to far lol

My weekend'd booked already - DIY oh no!! what bout the rest of you?xx

Hi Halycon,

Nice of you to join our little thread. I am hugely dithering, I keep changing my mind. I have said between June and Dec, so I have put Sept on the list because it is half way between! Some days I want to do it as early as possible, other days I want to leave it a bit longer. It is so hard to decide, brain vs heart all the time!!

Hi Haly, welcome LOL at 'old'

I am most definately not dithering, DH is maybe a little though.

What building work are you having done

Hello, I'm new to this thread!

I think I'd like to start ttc later this year (still haven't decided yet!) but I'll add my details to the list anyway!

Diege, 37, DC4, work-related, April 08.

Bemylilbaby, Miscarriage/money/hols, May 08?

NatalieJane, 24, DC3, Miscarriage and a few little other things, May 08.

HalyconDays, old, DC3, building work, July 08

HorseyWoman, DC1?, Getting well, August 08

Playing, 25, DC1, financial, Sept 08

Cosmogirl, 25, DC1, financial/work-related, December 08.

Tinx, DC1, Get fit, ????????

We're having building work done April-ish and I know that it will entail a lot work, both during and afterwards. After it has been completed, I guess I will have to make up my mind about whether to ttc or not....!!

Anyone else dithering?

Well done Playing!

so as I thought (I do sometimes get thibngs right ), you will not loose any money if you go back to work. Unless of course your company offers you a package above the legally min (like Cosmos new job) then you might loose that when you go back it depends on your contract.

I looked up the maternity pay stuff:

"If your baby is due on or after 1 April 2007 you can get SMP for up to 39 weeks, as long as you meet the conditions. If your baby was due earlier than this then SMP is for up to 26 weeks.

If you have the right to receive SMP, you'll get it even if you decide to leave your job before you start receiving SMP. You don't have to repay it if you decide not to go back to work or leave your job whilst getting SMP."

Thats from the website I suggested earlier.

I know how you feel Playing, I think realising I had broken DH over the weekend, was exactly what I need to drag me out of myself.

I don't think I've stopped grinning since

He has deffo decided we will be TTC'ing, he was looking on t'internet yesterday at big family cars for two baby seats and a booster, didn't think he'd ever change his beloved Vectra!

Re: telling the mum business. I can understand the nerves, there is always something about a disapproving parent that makes you feel like a child again. I know my Mum will be happy to have grandkids (I am the eldest, so she doesn't have any) but I also think she will be surprised that we have decided to do the kid thing before we buy a house. Not quite sure she will approve, but thats my decision not hers and I am sure she will come round.

I am incredibly excited about all this waiting to ttc stuff. It actually makes me feel much more proacitve, better than just sitting around desperately wanting to have a baby and feeling like it is out of your control. I feel like I am doing something and learning things here. The more I spend time on here the more real and exciting it feels!

Well, you can't control others reactions/comments/stupidity, no matter how much you'd like to!! I remember when I told my mum about DS1 she wasn't over the moon about it. I was 18, though I was already married to DH and he was very much planned, so I wasn't your typical 'teenage mum', I was still very nervous of telling her about DS2, but she was absolutely fantastic Maybe your mum will surprise you yet?

It's great isn't it? Fully grown adults worried what their mum will think LOL

I know, you become public property! I'm dreading telling my mum when/if I'm pregnant. For some bizarre reason she sounded really surprised/disappointed last time and I know she'll wonder what on earth I'm doing. V.odd I know.

OMG Diege, can't believe they rang you to tell you off, how awful

I already had the 'Are you trying for a girl then?' comments with the miscarriage, people are too bloody insensitive. Never mind the fact that it's got sweet FA to do with them anyway.... sorry! I am going to shush now LOL

Have to add - while I'm on a roll- does anybody else feel really excited about the whole ttc stuff? That Springtime means something special to what it usually does etc etc...and that there's something really 'nice' about waiting to wait? . Like being in departure lounge at a airport waiting to go on holiday but they've not called your boarding number yet?

Just a bit of added info' on the ML front. I think technically if you take the leave then decide not to go back they MAY ask you to repay a percetage of it, but most don't. This can also be 'got round' by going back for a week or so then handing notice in, so I'm told . Re: not getting your 'old' job back and having to do a different one, this is technically illegal as it's discriminatory. The only exception being if the change would have applied to your job anyway, even if you hadn't been away (in which case others would (usually) also be subject to same changes). I've been through 3 sets of ML, and had to contend with a bit of arsiness, esp after no.3 . They were also really bad about me being signed off when pregnant with dd3 with HG, and rang me up at home telling me I was 'letting the team down' My new job is great (same area, different uni')and the people are lovely. They have such high expectations from me, so I do feel a bit guilty about ttc 4, which is so worng I know - I'd hate to look back at 60 and think I never had a 4th baby because of what they might think at work! Think I'll have to brace myself for general public's comments anyway...ooh, you trying for a boy then? Oooh, you'll have your hands full...are you mad?...is this it then?

The weather is the same here, I got absolutely drenched taking DS to school and it is only just across the road. Felt, and looked, like a drowned rat.

And I have to go back out there to collect him soon enough

But I am not depressed, infact I feel the most cheery I have felt all year

Whether or not it is the most depressing day of the year it certainly feels like it!! Its cold, dark, wet, windy and miserable here. Plus at some point today I am going to have to go into town to get my boss his birthday present. Oh well, roll on summer, just had my left over faijatas from yesterday and they tasted so good I am really in the mood for a bbq now!!

BB, how long is it since you MC'ed? and how long have you had the coil? Probably a bit of all that, mixed in with it being January and crappy weather. I heard on the news that today is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year!

Playing, you are probably right, as I said I either read it all somewhere or I've made it up!!

Really not an expert on this but I am sure you dont have to repay a penny if you don't go back to work

Thanks NJ and Playing, i think were firm on may, sowill jsut have to take all mat leave i can get eh?

I think i am naturally more needy (emotionally) than my mum, she has always been very no - nonsense, im jsut going to have to tell her and hope for the best im sure im just panicking.

Actually speaking of emotional and irrational, ive been feeling like it these last few days..crying for no reason think lack of AF has caused a hormone build up one min then desperately the next arg!! xxx

and there's lots of info about maternity leave online try

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/WorkAndFamilies/DG_10029285

so that means it may not be increased till 2010

Hi all, back again.

BB - hope you can get it sorted out ok with your Mum, family politics are difficult enough, let alone when you are bringing another member into the family. Also re: maternity pay, the 2009 thing is not a firm date. That it the earliest it will happen and to be honest that is not likely, so you/we probably will be a little bit early to get it!

"A date has not yet been confirmed for when the new right to additional paternity/maternity leave (APL) will come into force, although the Department of Trade and Industry (now the Department for Business, Enterprise and Regulatory Reform) confirmed that it will not be before April 2009.

The Government also intends to eventually increase statutory maternity pay to 52 weeks, expected at the same time as changes to paternity leave before the end of this Parliament in 2009/10."

I think it is always diffcult when parents find a new partner. I suppose you have to think what you were like when you first met DP, I expect she felt like she started losing you a little as well.

thanks natalie for info!

Things are odd with my mum, she's changed lately, she is my step mum but has raised me since i was 7, i love her dearly, but my dad dies in 04, and we became close, now ive moved out and her BF ( who is ok but not my fave pers) has moved in she seems really distant.... She is the only person ive ever been scared of upsaetting... its awkward xx