Fertility Appointments and Beyond.... the journey continues

@thislittlebird I didn't think I'd have results that showed up PCOS either, and mostly I don't, but my AMH was sky high!

@gracie2021 I'm definitely going to mention the auto immune factor to my consultant. My last big flare up started in December last year (1 x night of severe joint pain followed by 3 x months of stomach pain) and during this time I had two long anovulatory cycles back to back 🤨

I have started giving thoughts to IVF. Thinking about which clinics to use if I pay privately etc. And if occurred to me... my OH doesn't drive (he rides a motorbike and thinks driving is boring 🙄), but if I'm doing IVF, which can be pretty invasive, and might also be situated in a different city, will I need him to drive me back and forth?

If so, this might finally be the excuse I need to get him on a course 😆 🚙

@dogmam just read what you said about being a totally different person that’s exactly how I feel.. hoping to get back to myself once we have a baby ❤️ Xx

@paintfairy i think im too scared not to do it this time lol

@dogmam you get an 8 week scan as part of the ivf. Then you are discharged into the real world. It still doesn't feel real though!
@thislittlebird I think it's common for it to take ages. Your body has to reabsorb all the fluid.
@PurpleUnicorn01 who knows if it even works. But what's a bit more money. 🤣 I was struggling though when it was once a fortnight or even a week. Soon mounts up!

@thislittlebird yes you totally can complain, we all hear you sister!! We feel your pain.

'That’s the thing, it’s a process of constantly managing expectations and building and rebuilding your defences. It’s so tiring, other people don’t get it.

The hard part about starting all over (or starting new) is there’s yet again no end in sight. It’s so hard never to have a finish line'

@thislittlebird that literally sums up this journey.

@paintfairy mine were still slightly enlarged by the 12 week scan, they said its normal if you have lots of follicles.

@PurpleUnicorn01 speaking of years, can I complain about how we’re about to enter yet another one?! When I started this ttc malarkey I thought our year would be 2020, now it won’t be 2021, it could be 2022, but most likely 2023 or beyond before we have a human baby .

@Juno231 yeah, hopefully the chocolates won’t skew the 2-3 month average results 😐

Are they re-running your hepatitis, HIV tests? We’ve got to get those done again in late Jan when we go for our drugs teach and first scan.

@PurpleUnicorn01 I haven’t gone down the YouTube rabbit hole, which is probably a good thing. That’s the thing, it’s a process of constantly managing expectations and building and rebuilding your defences. It’s so tiring, other people don’t get it.

The hard part about starting all over (or starting new) is there’s yet again no end in sight. It’s so hard never to have a finish line.

@paintfairy your ovaries are still enlarged, is that standard? Will they go down eventually? I’ve had 23-38 follicles on regular months, the month the Guys doctor scanned me I had 38. Seemed odd she didn’t even broach the subject of a possibly needing a freeze all, I do wish she had. I would prefer one I think, would rather not get sick, even if it’s a delay of a month or so. Glad the scan went well and the lactulose is helping!

I have acupuncture Friday lunchtime, and an eye test! Desperately in need of new lenses for my glasses, it’s been a while.

@dogmam pleased to hear you are doing well too. I know you've had a long road to get to this point too. Yes Christmas should kill a few weeks whilst doing the down regs. Be a great distraction. Im hoping next year is the year if the embryo that wants to actually stay.

@paintfairy I think continuing acupuncture for 12 weeks is a great idea for sure. I stopped after my positive but I think this time if I got a positive id carry on. If nothing else its so relaxing but it does cost a small fortune

@PurpleUnicorn01 aw you poor thing, you've been through a lot latley and lots more coming up with the transfer. I hope you can have a nice Christmas though and be semi distracted at least for a few days x

@thislittlebird my freeze all was mentioned before treatment that it was a possibility but then confirmed after stims and the first scan as I had lots of follicles.
I know what you mean about everything kind of being tainted because of this process. I was thinking today the last 2 years+ I have just become a completely different person and I do wonder why friends and family haven't asked why on earth I've had personality transplant. We can only hope that when our babies come along we will start to enjoy life again!

@paintfairy as so happy for you! I bet it was amazing to see the little heartbeat flickering away. Did you pay for a private scan? I hope you can start to enjoy it now!

@Juno231 bet you were thrilled to see 3+. I've been to scared to do another digital incase it hasn't moved but I'm 5+3 today so may do it tomorrow. How are you feeling?

@PurpleUnicorn01 yes. I've got another session next week. I just keep asking when I should go, and do as I'm told 🤣. I went 2 weeks after test day and then this will be 3 weeks after that. I think they start to space out? She said most people carry on going through the first trimester, so I thought I'll do that at least? Can't really afford it forever though.

@paintfairy im so pleased your scan went well. Have been following your story. Are you continuing with your acupuncture? X

@Juno231 what blood tests are they?
@thislittlebird they go on number of follicles/eggs collected for OHSS. So you might not know until the day of EC if they decide for a freeze all. I knew I wouldn't because I was nowhere near their threshold (think it was 20). I had 10 follicles, 12 eggs collected and 8 were mature. Bearing in mind my EC was 1 Nov, I'll attach you photos from today. These are how my ovaries still look! What i think the clinic don't tell you is most people get OHSS, just different severity. In hindsight I had it. And the scan lady today pretty much agreed. My acupuncture lady had also pointed it out to me before now. I can't say it's great. One tip is that I wish I had got on top of the constipation earlier. I feel so much better now I have with the lactulose.

Anyway- my scan today went OK. I was as anxious as hell like. Fully prepared for bad news. I won't attach the scan pic, as it seems insensitive, but it measured 8+3 and we saw the heartbeat. I'm still in denial about the whole thing. But the lady was really lovely and that helped.

@thislittlebird I feel exactly the same. Its hard to talk to people who aren't in this boat as all you hear is 'don't worry and relax' its hard to relax when theres so many factors. Ive gone YouTube crazy too, watching every ivf FET video possible.

Its completely okay to be scared. Its such a big step going through all of this. Im the same mentally preparing for a negative then mentally preparing that if it is something will be wrong on the 12 week scan. Its hard going when you've been through so much heart ache.

Yes im transfer in Jan then down reg from Thursday. I was doing okay after my loss but the thought of starting over again on Thursday has majorly kicked off the anxiety. I have acupuncture booked on Friday hopefully to calm the nerves.

Thinking of you.

@thislittlebird I guess that would be a good indicator for insulin resistance which is often part and parcel of PCOS?

Got my 3+ on the digital today at 5+1 so things are still okay here. Got my last ivf blood tests this Thursday, it feels very weird to still be going ahead with it - I'm not very good with deception, it makes my ass sweat 🤣

Oh god, it’s the average blood sugar test. Probably shouldn’t have had that whole box of coconut Lindt lindor over the last two days. Hopefully it’ll be ok or they’ll re-run it if not.

I didn’t mean to attach that, was trying to find it to say I had hba1c, but I’ve not looked up what that is yet.

@Gracie2021 I’ll have to look into the immune bloods, I don’t know a lot about it. I did my PCOS bloods this morning.

@PurpleUnicorn01 yeah, many of those days. Right now I’m not too bad because I know ivf is coming up, but at the same time I’m obsessed with the potential negatives of all of it. I’m scared about it, scared it won’t work, scared what the drugs will do to me/how they’ll make me feel. Am I harming myself and so on? It’s hard not to spiral. Last night I was obsessing over post-partum bodies and was down about how we don’t really get to enjoy any of this like a ‘normal’ woman, even if it works, you go straight into a very anxious pregnancy and then into the difficult post-natal era. The fear of everything that’s happened to date won’t go away.

If we get an embryo it’ll likely be transferred Feb-April, not sure yet. You’re in for a transfer in January, right?

Anyone else have days where they really just struggle with all this?

Anyone due for embryo transfer in Jan?

Love and hugs to you all.

Also, how do you guys know you have these ANA markers? I’ve not heard of them but I have immune issues and have considered I might need pred at some point. Which I absolutely hate and will do my best to avoid, my moon face from the spring is only just waning slightly

@Kay00 I asked my GP to do some PCOS tests. He’s sending me off for blood tests. He said he would not count me as having it based on the follicles alone and would guess the tests won’t show much but since I asked he’s doing them.

@jemInher40s welcome!!

@gracie2021 thats really interesting what you say about the auto immune markers. I have the HLA-B21 gene and lots of random inflammatory issues. I'm not sure I have been tested for ANA+ but apparently there is a high correlation between the two. PCOS can be caused by auto immune issues too (for some women). Maybe I need to have a chat with my consultant about it.

Hi Ladies, can I join? Had initial appointment at CRGH and now waiting for appointment at Kings.