Fertility Appointments and Beyond.... the journey continues

@dogmam so sorry to hear what happened... lots of hugs and kisses....

@beckyCarlos thanks for the cute photos! little things to start the day x

I am about to get my laparoscopy done on friday and my period is late for like 6 days, mega stressing out! And work isn't totally supportive for me to take a couple days post surgery to recover because it is busy this time of the year. argh.

@beckyCarlos that's well cute

@thislittlebird you don't have to go that deep if you don't want to its more of a safe space to talk. Even about your anxieties now, just like on this group. With CBT it will just be like okay heres how to fix it bye.

Omg it worked yey! Have another one for good measure 🤣

Lets see if it works from the web rather than the app 🤞 hes our first 'real' dog (I had a GSD and a border collie as a kid, and my family have always had some sort of dog around, husky, gsd, collies etc)

There are always dog walkers ;) ours doesnt mind his own company for a few hours, we had a dogcam when he was younger and he just slept when we went out! X

@Juno231 thanks 💜 I have emailed but I haven’t heard back yet, I think they’re busy.

@PurpleUnicorn01 yeah, good description of CBT. I definitely have many deeper issues but I won’t pretend I’m entirely comfortable opening those wounds, especially right now. It’s hard.

@beckyCarlos please try harder to attach your dog photo, ma’am. I’m so torn, is this your first dog or do you have or have you had more? I had them as a kid, none of my own as an adult. There’s a little dog someone is selling near to where I live because they’re going back to work, I won’t lie when I was say I am tempted to message them. But I don’t know what we’d do with the dog during ivf appointments. As mentioned, we don’t have much of a support network and it wouldn’t have had a great deal of time to be trained.

@dogmam I’m so sorry to hear your news 😢 I hope your ok thinking of you x

@dogmam I'm so sorry to read your update, we're all here for you x x

@thislittlebird take the others excellent advice about therapy, and my terrible advice to dooo iitttttr and get a dog! 🤣 I've tried to attach a picture of mine being cute (i.e. asleep) but it wont upload, probably for the best haha

@JeanieJ @thislittlebird Id recommend someone who uses a person centered or humanistic approach. (You can ask them). CBT is like putting a plaster on the situation which is great for learning tips to cope with anxiety but won't look at deeper issues if that's what you need.

@thislittlebird I'm all for counselling and I really hope you get help quickly. I've used both EAP, individual therapy and couples counselling in the past and it's all been really helpful. I'm sorry you feel like this right now ♥️

@acaciabluebell ah I see, that's very frustrating!

@dogmam I missed your update earlier and I'm so so sorry for your loss. I really hope you're third time lucky and that you take good care of yourself in the run up for the next IVF cycle.

@JeanieJ yeah I’ve done the cbt before and I’m not sure I need that right now. I don’t know if it would be any quicker if I pushed for therapy. How long did it take you from requesting to starting?

I’m not sure it’s a definite connection but the dermatologist basically said she’d had other patients ttc and the antidepressants helped them. The bad skin is being triggered by stress and ttc is causing the stress. Vicious circle. But then my GP said not to take more because we’re ttc 😐. It was a low dose, I didn’t have any side effects but it was only one month.

And now I’m back to wanting a dog. 😩

@thislittlebird you're going through alot, plus this stuff is traumatic. I hope you get something sorted soon ❤️

You're right though, the self referral system is slow in some areas. In my case, I was really firm with them about not wanting CBT, as I don't think I'm suited to it. Ended to getting referred to a low cost counseling service & it's the best thing that's ever happened to me, I got a great therapist.
That's mad about the antidepressants - I wouldn't have connected them to skin 🤷🏻
My gp casually suggested to me that anti depressants might help me 'relax' and then conceive (I couldn't believe she said that), but fertility clinic advised against it. I've been on them before & they've helped me in bad situations, but I had side effects that would make intimacy a bit uncomfortable which is not ideal for TTC, so glad I'm not on them. Xx

@PurpleUnicorn01 thanks. I feel bad complaining too because I know other people have it worse than me, but it’s hard not to feel angry that we’re landed in this stupid situation.

@thislittlebird im sorry for all you've been through and all your going through. Xx thinking of you.

Id definitely recommend councelling for anyone who is struggling which is most of us x

@JeanieJ when I spoke to my GP before they just told me to use the self referral service. And I’ve used it before, it’s not fast. I had to wait three months for an appointment :/ you’re right though, work’s EAP could be a quick option.

Maybe I’ll email the private clinic now and see what they say about counselling.

My dermatologist put me on antidepressants for one month some months ago to help me (I’ve had crazy, chronic eczema and skin infections since we started ttc in October 19 and I think it’s ttc stress to blame), but my GP advised against continuing them. I really wish he hadn’t, they might have been helping me right now.

Good to hear you’ve got your funding appointment lined up!

@Kay00 yeah, weirdly, I have been doing that every night I have slept after this started a week or so ago. When I’ve had boundaries around my sleep routine I’ve slept. But I have also been exhausted from not sleeping the night before. When I’ve stayed up anxiously scrolling sm etc I’ve had these problems. I’m going to read my book again tonight and leave my phone elsewhere. I was supposed to have an exercise routine this month but the lack of sleep is making it really hard already.

Sometimes I’m really angry that this has landed on me out of everyone I know. I have a shit family, no dad, my mum isn’t much of a mother, my mother figure is dead, my father figure is dead, my mum and I barely speak now, my siblings are different and distant, my life has been plagued with low key chronic illnesses, allergies, problems my family never had, my anxiety is a constant burden and I don’t feel equipped for this at all. It makes me so upset that other people I know have it all, they have good families and support networks and now they have their kids and I have this shit to deal with. Except I’m not really dealing right now, I don’t feel equipped at all. At least I have my DH, he’s all I have and I know that’s not easy for him in all this.

@thislittlebird My recommendations (from when I had bad panic attacks and horrible nightmares every night) are to put down the media (phones/mumsnet/TV even) at least an hour before bed, then spend a decent half an hour on my pre-bed routine: face creams, nice treatments, maybe a (warm not hot) bath, and lots of stretching (I also suffer with a bad back, but I think any mindfulness/yoga/meditation would do). When in bed read a calming book for 15 minutes then switch off the lights. I would also sleep with my upper body propped up a little because the sound of my heartbeat in my ears would escalate my anxiety xx

@thislittlebird also, some workplaces offer short term counseling through EAP if you need something faster whilst you wait for clinics/gps and to sort you out x

@dogmam really sorry for your loss 😘❤️ hope you're ok ❤️

@thislittlebird I didn't necessarily get counseling through my fertility clinic, but got referred super quick by my GP after I told her I was getting anxious & depressed about ttc. That could be a route too xx

This is my first cycle post lap and I'm 10DPO ... I know in my heart that we haven't succeeded, but I'll have to wait for AF to show up this weekend. 🙄
Got my IVF funding appointment next Monday, so I guess I feel like I've something in the pipeline 🤷🏻

@Kay00 yeah, definitely, the night has been really hard for me lately. It’s like as soon as I lie down to sleep the anxiety cranks right up. My days are a write off, when I’d planned to be healthier and exercise and I don’t want to do any of that when I haven’t slept and been freaking out all night.

Thanks @PurpleUnicorn01, I’ve emailed them asking to be referred. No idea how long it will take, but my private clinic also offer it to me so I could try them if it’s a long wait.

@acaciabluebell I’m in London too! South East. I’m with Guys ACU now. Is your Letrozole on the nhs? They would scan if they were triggering but if this is private it bumps the price right up.

@thislittlebird hugs xx I have suffered in the past with panic disorder from PTSD and am all too familiar with panic attacks . I don't have them as frequently any more, but when I do get them, they tend to come at night time. Its such a lonely and scary time for them to hit! I can also recommend therapy (CBT) for panic attacks, even if you don't get therapy for your fertility treatments xx

@thislittlebird im actually a trained therapist and I really recommend it. Even if its not with the clinic get it from anywhere

@thislittlebird That's pretty shocking, I'm glad you were able to get the backing of your private doctor and get the treatment you are entitled to! I am based in London, how about you?

Letrozole is also a long shot for us, my husband has low count and 0% normal forms. But as I'm not paying for scans it's working out a lot cheaper as I just get a blood test each month. Although honestly scans would make it so much easier to know what's happening inside my body!

Has anyone here done the counselling offered by their clinics? I might try it. I haven’t been sleeping well the last few days, every other night I’m awake all night and then last night I had a panic attack. I suffer from anxiety anyway, but as the ivf approaches it feels like the anxiety is out of hand.

@dogmam oh no 😔 I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss xx

You raise the question of telling people about your ivf treatment and that's certainly an internal battle I'm having. I'd rather no one knew, but I might need the extra support. I hope you're getting the support you need xx ❤

@acaciabluebell IVF qualification was 3 years if unexplained for our CCG, and basically we’d only been trying 19 months ish when we saw the gynaecologist. She was very old and rude and essentially said we didn’t qualify. Didn’t want to know about our issues really, didn’t ask about mine and said my husband’s 9% motility “wasn’t enough”. I left in tears, but afterwards we went off to get a second opinion and the private consultant said that’s not right, you do qualify for IVF and should push for it, so we did, with the new GP who referred us on the back of that private consultation. I still don’t understand how we were, presumably, unexplained with motility and ovulation issues 🤷‍♀️

Oh and I had exactly this thing too, local hospital, no ACU, with the heavily pregnant women surrounding me when I fled crying lol. Sounds like you have the same path as me. When you see them again ask for a referral and if they won’t do it go to the GP, but they probably will, I think we were just very unlucky. What area are you in roughly btw?

I have to say, I really don’t think this whole progesterone vs ovulation issue is well understood by doctors. There’s this grey area between 5 and 29 where they don’t seem to know if you’ve ovulated or not. I don’t get it. They’re saying to me 5 and below indicates no ovulation, well what’s the middle range between 5 and 20/30? They can never explain it. Clearly when I was on Letrozole I did successfully ovulate more than one follicle based on the scores.

If it helps, 29 is likely to indicate ovulation, it could have just been slightly late to the test or something. I read online somewhere that it’s roughly 30, some doctors are happy with 20. Again, it’s all quite confusing.

I only did three Letrozole cycles because I knew with my husband’s motility it was a long shot. Plus, they were £770 per month :/