Fertility Appointments and Beyond.... the journey continues

@kay00 awww he looks so happy!
@dogmam I feel like the worst dog parent whenever we leave our boy, but we've found a kennels on a livery just down the road, and he absolutely loves it! He runs up to the owners wagging his tail, leans against them for scratches, and gets between their legs for head rubs... its so so lovely to see. Kennels arent for everyone but I imagine home boarding would be this x100! X

@dogmam Hehe, I could chat about my dogs all day. Here's a pic of my cheeky chappy smiling 🤗

I had a BFN yesterday at 13dpo and I've had some light spotting yesterday and today, so I assume tomorrow or Monday will be CD1.

It will be my 5th cycle of Clomid and I'm thinking of mixing things up a bit... I could take them days 3-7 to help a single egg grow stronger or even days 5-9 (American style)? Or I could take a 50mg pill on a couple if days instead of 25mg for the full 5 days? So far my Clomid cycles have been:

1. 50mg days 2-6 (over-stimulated, 3 x follicles)
2. 25mg days 2-6 (one over mature follicles at 27mm 2 days before ovulation)
3. 25mg days 2-5, 50mg day 6
4. 25mg days 2-6

Not a sniff of a line on any of these cycles, but I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating.

@Kay00 Aw your dogs look absobubtly gorgeous, I love their long faces! Great that you've found someone who takes them both when you go away. I'm really nervous about leaving my boy but have considered like a home border, I'll have to look into it. At least yours have each other if they're missing you.

@Gracie2021 Thank you x your appointment is just next week, not long to wait and fab you've got your medication list! Great that you've been given lubion injections too for progesterone support, that's not usually standard to be given it straight away so sounds like your clinic are proactive.

It's such a hard decision weather or not to tell people about treatment etc. None of my family know and now I feel like too much has happened to now start back tracking and filling them in over everything that's happened. I almost wish though one of them would ask me what on earth is going on and why am I such a different person these days, then I could just let it all out but everyone is too polite I guess.
Ps happy to turn this into an ivf/dog chat

@Gracie2021 will you be buying these yourself? and will you be trying out the Asda pharmacy who has ultra low prices for fertility drugs?

@Gracie2021 Wow, that's a lot of drugs! Its all for a good cause remember! When do you start?

Ref the stats, the chances of conception for a 'normal couple' with no issues is only 15-20% per cycle (no doubt my chances have been considerably lower than that for the past 1.5 years - haha!) so a chance of 30-40% is practically double the normal chance (granted that's over a couple of egg transfers) - so we should still keep our hopes up

@thislittlebird @Gracie2021 oh no, I didn't mean to bum you both out. Honestly, those chances are normal, not really low. I think we all have in our mind that IVF will be our ticket to success, but it often takes more than one round to get a baby, and its about managing those expectations.

My % for a first round success is 36% but when I looked at what it would have been if I have tried IVF when I was 10 years younger, it was only 45% chance of success in the 1st round, which made me feel better. And really being pregnant before or adding in a male factor issue doesn't make a huge difference either.

I'm hoping for an NHS round first too, but we have some savings put aside which we hoped to use on a new kitchen, but will now be earmarked for possible IVF. So I'll be saving for that kitchen we desperately need!

At least we have the one round funded, that’s something. We’ll keep saving too, since we have six months ish (assuming we get embryos) before we’ll need a private round.

Thanks for sharing your lovely digs @beckyCarlos and @Kay00! I think for now we’ll be waiting a bit, extra stress at the minute might not be the best idea.

@pinkginpls maybe go sick. Sod them. That’s not fair if you’re having a procedure.

@Gracie2021 thank you 🙏 I think your dog advice is a good reminder I probably should not take it on right now. I am worried I’ve left it too late now though. Will see how I feel after our week away in March/April on the dog front.

I have told people about ivf and I may regret it. The point at which it doesn’t work will be the point when I’m regretting saying anything but I also didn’t want to keep it all bottled up. I felt like I needed to tell people, so I did. Work and a couple of friends. Why did they congratulate you @gracie2021?

My result was 30% 😔. I guess it’s realistic but I need to prep myself for needing three full rounds. I see so many people having first time success on here and I think it skews perception. This is why NICE recommends three rounds after all, doesn’t make it any easier to have to keep going through all this.

Also, I heard about this really handy tool on a fertility podcast earlier:

w3.abdn.ac.uk/clsm/opis/tool/ivf1

It can help you understand your chances of success through IVF or ICSI dependent on your age and prior diagnosis.

I think my friends would be mindful not to add pressure, and one of my friends already knows we are trying. But other than her, no one knows. It has been a big secret. So telling people that we have been trying for 1.5 years+ will be strange, and im sure my mum and sis will have lots of mixed emotions.

I just booked a couple of nights away over Easter with my mum and sis at a Spa hotel 😊 my sis has booked the massages and I'm secretly hoping I will have to re-arrange mine to be a pregnancy massage 🙃

@gracie2021 the new dog anxiety is real! I was overwhelmed with the responsibility, lots of 'why did I think I could look after a living thing' thoughs, anxiety about leaving (in my mind abandoning) him, hearing him cry in my sleep even though he was 100% not crying. It didnt take long to realise he was quite robust but then he started the 'land shark' phase where he wanted to nibble everything, and me 🤣

@kay00 I really didn't want to tell many people for a mixture of reasons (pride, cba with questions or fuss, pressure real or otherwise, and I didnt want people to stop telling me about their kids or anything) so I've not told any of my family, and I haven’t told many friends apart from a close one at work who's niece had been through it, and a couple of friends who are very practical and pragmatic, but my husband announced it to his friends that we were having investigations, and he told his mum/close family so its kindof out there ish 🙄

@kay00 they're so beautiful! (Because I talk to my dog like hes a semi-human) I call them Skinny Bois when we see one (in comparison to my fur machine) but they always look so gentle and kind and graceful 🥰

@Gracie2021 My current thinking is that I'll tell HR in work as I get 5 x day IVF leave (amazing, I know!). I'm hoping it can just be added to my holiday allowance in the system otherwise I suppose I'll need to tell my boss (which I'd rather not do).

I'm thinking I might tell my mum, sister and maybe a couple of my closest friends, but I might not tell them the dates things are happening, as I don't want them to ask for lots of updates. But I'm so torn... I don't want to get my mums hopes up.

@dogmam I am not sure, I was hoping AF will come last week so it doesn't cross over with the lap. Also a problem that it doesn't show up!
Screw work, if I need time off I will. It's just those "I thought you said you will most likely be able to work?" kinda comment from manager that annoys me.

I have never used counselling neither but did come to mind recently. I didn't cope very well over the Christmas with all the joyous photos and social media. I would have a good sob triggered by a baby photo or something... I agree it should be done at your own pace on your own terms. I consider this thread a kind of counselling if anything! Thanks for being here for me ladies x

@beckyCarlos OMG he's gorgeous!!

@thislittlebird I don't have many people to help out with my dogs when we go away either as my mum has a kitten, my sis has a puppy and my sister in law has a baby. So I have registered with a dog sitting couple who will let my two massive hounds sleep at their house for a few nights in exchange for a few pounds, and it works brilliantly. I can assume you it will be easier finding people to help look after 1 x small dog, than two massive ones!

@dogmam lol yes it is indeed.

We aren't that scary. The great thing for introverts is that you can have on the phone sessions which suit people better as it can be less scary. Its the same as talking on this group. Bit like having a moan to a friend who won't judge you. We don't make you lie on a couch or take notes on a clip board lol

@pinkginpls @Lori23TTC thanks ladies and thanks @Juno231 fingers crossed. Hope everything's going well with you!

@beckyCarlos thank you. Aww he's gorgeous, i had a gsd growing up and she was the most gentle thing, ive got a soft spot for them.. and I agree @thislittlebird you absolutely need to get a dog! Honestly I don't know what I'd do without mine, on my lowest lowest days I can always say at least I've got my boy, he makes me happy every day.

@pinkginpls oh no will that have an impact on your lap? Well just do what you need to do in terms of work, don't force yourself back if you feel unwell.

@thislittlebird I've never used the counseller at my clinic but they're always offering her services. I've thought about it a couple of times but never done that sort of thing before. I'm a massive introvert and the thought of speaking to someone about this even a professional makes me nervous. Having said that, a lot of people really rate them so maybe give it a go? I think it'll all be done at your pace on your terms so you can give as little or as much away as you feel comfortable with. Or maybe @PurpleUnicorn01 can give us all some sessions lol is that what you do for your full time job?

@pinkginpls I'm sorry about your work, thats rubbish! X