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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

34 and ttc

83 replies

Dbd310 · 26/11/2021 09:48

Hi all,

Thought I set up a new thread for those of us who are 34 and ttc. I'm just starting my third cycle of ttc first baby. It's much harder to live this than I expected. Lots of my friends have struggled with fertility and so I didnt expect it to happen quickly, but living it is so different to the theory, isn't it?

Anyway, I know 3 months isn't a long time to be trying and is considered normal, but I guess I just worry about my age.

And being 34 doesn't seem that far away from 35 but I dont feel right posting in the 35+ ttc groups.

So if anyone is 34 and ttc hopefully we can have a little space here to talk / vent / stay sane!

C

BTW I know some people try for years and years so I know I don't really gave anything to complain about... but I'm also worried we will be trying for that long and tbh I dont think I could do that to myself!

OP posts:
i123i · 26/11/2021 11:54

@Dbd310 and @ajayelbee - thanks for your kind words about the early MC. It was pretty heartbreaking for us, even though it was only at 5 and a half weeks, but the Early Pregnancy Unit were so kind about it which helped.

@Dbd310bd310 - yes, also TTC our first. Agree it’s a different type of worry compared to all my friends who had their babies a couple of years ago. And agree we should have been taught this at school - until a few years ago I didn’t know about the short fertile window each month at all!!!!

@eggandchips37 - thanks for the positive example!! :)

In order to make the TTW a bit more bearable I’m not being insanely strict on things like coffee and alcohol ie. I still drink a cup of coffee a day and sometimes may have a glass or two of wine at the weekend. Don’t want to put my life on hold for 2 weeks every month!

Original poster
Dbd310 · 26/11/2021 11:06

@eggandchips37

Just to give you guys some hope! I am 35 and conceived on my 4th cycle after coming off the pill. Dh and I don't have the most active sex life so timing was important for us. I tracked my ovulation and got pregnant from a one-off dtd just at the right time!

34/35 really is no age these days. Fingers crossed for you all.

Ah thanks egg and chips! I don't know if hope is a good thing or not lol! I've just been sent an article saying that it's normal for people over 35 to take 1 to 2 years to conceive, which I guess is the reality for some people.

It appears I want neither hope nor reality!🙄😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Dbd310 · 26/11/2021 10:46

Yes its much harder in reality! We are so conditioned not to get pregnant and it only takes one sperm blah blah. It's such an inadequate education when you're a teenager, isn't it?!

I'm going to try to take the attitude that if it happens it happens. If it doesn't I'll have to find other things to fill my life up with! Like a dog!

I'm renovating my house at the moment so we've got diy to do at the weekend lol! What about you?

You're a month or so ahead of me in ttc!

OP posts:
eggandchips37 · 26/11/2021 10:42

Just to give you guys some hope! I am 35 and conceived on my 4th cycle after coming off the pill. Dh and I don't have the most active sex life so timing was important for us. I tracked my ovulation and got pregnant from a one-off dtd just at the right time!

34/35 really is no age these days. Fingers crossed for you all.

ajayelbee · 26/11/2021 10:40

Hi @Dbd310 and @i123i ☺️

I’m also 34 and ttc my first! We’re in the 4th cycle and my AF is due next Thursday. I’ve also got no symptoms whatsoever, so pretty sure this isn’t our month.

I completely agree that I knew it might not be easy, but the reality of getting BFN and then AF each month makes me so much sadder than I thought it would!

I’m sorry that AF has arrived for you @Dbd310. Have you got anything nice planned for the weekend?

I’m so sorry for your loss @i123i. I hope you get a sticky bean soon! x

Original poster
Dbd310 · 26/11/2021 10:30

@i123i

Morning *@Dbd310* !

I am also 34 (and a half!), so on the same train as you! Totally agree that all the waiting and planning really is much much harder in practice than theory. Especially as patience is not my virtue at all. 😂

We only started TTC at the beginning of October, and amazingly I got pregnant straight away, but sadly it ended in an early miscarriage a few weeks ago. So now we are on cycle #2…. My AF is due on Sunday and I’m not feeling ANY pregnancy type symptoms so 99% sure I’m out this month.

My OH is aged 41 so time is definitely not on our side.

Nice to have someone similar to me here :)

Yeah I came on today. I thought I was out for thos month! Tbh I really try not to symptom spot, it's no good for my head!xx
OP posts:
Original poster
Dbd310 · 26/11/2021 10:29

Hi @i123i

Thanks for replying. I suddenly feel less alone lol.

I'm really sorry to hear about your mc. That must have been really hard.

My best friend has struggled with fertility but now has two kids. She just told me to have fun and stop thinking about it. I find that incredibly unhelpful even more so as she's never been in the "nearly old" bracket.

But tbh financially we just couldn't have done it any earlier, I didn't want to be broke and have a kid. So I guess that decisions on me!

Are you ttc your first?

OP posts:
i123i · 26/11/2021 10:25

Morning @Dbd310 !

I am also 34 (and a half!), so on the same train as you! Totally agree that all the waiting and planning really is much much harder in practice than theory. Especially as patience is not my virtue at all. 😂

We only started TTC at the beginning of October, and amazingly I got pregnant straight away, but sadly it ended in an early miscarriage a few weeks ago. So now we are on cycle #2…. My AF is due on Sunday and I’m not feeling ANY pregnancy type symptoms so 99% sure I’m out this month.

My OH is aged 41 so time is definitely not on our side.

Nice to have someone similar to me here :)

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