How many cycles did it take for you to conceive?

I have PCOS too so I've been pretty lucky to conceive quickly even if they don't stay long and ne er make it to term

1st - 2 cycles
2nd - don't know how many cycles but 12 months, ended in mc
3rd - 3 cycles, ended in mmc
4th - 3 cycles, ended in mc
5th - 2 cycles

But then after 12 months trying with one baby and staring fertility investigation, fell pregnant accidentally after a one off not during ovulation time, when baby was 4 months. Go figure.

12

I got pregnant my second month of trying at 39. Sadly that pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks. I'm now on month 4 of trying since the miscarriage.

If I hadn't had the miscarriage, I would be due in Feb and might be thinking: 'oh wow I'm really lucky', or, 'oh wow I must be really fertile'.

Or if I just happened to time things differently that month I got pregnant, then maybe I would have gotten a BFN instead and, with 4 months of trying since, I would now be entering month 7 and wondering if a BFP was possible for me.

While in reality, I was just lucky the second month and unlucky since.

13 cycles at aged 36

According to my tracking app, it was cycle 47 that worked for me! Honestly, I'd given up. And had just turned 40!

No idea why it took so long, conceived naturally

But also, yes, as @FlyOnTheWall89 said, your cumulative chance does 'improve' each month. The same way as, though you have 50/50 on a coin flip each time, you're unlikely to really flip six Heads in a row.

I know what you mean about how it can totally take over your life. And the worst thing is then we get told - oh, but if you'll relax, it'll happen!

I'll add also that DH and I had private fertility tests and at the time of them, both our tests came out that our fertility was excellent (this was two years ago but still early 30s so hoping for much the same) so it really is down to luck.

2 pregnancies both on the first cycle. Very lucky.

8 months after coming off the pill.

I had a mmc.

Another 8 months after the mmc.

I'm now ttc #2 and on cycle 3, but expecting it to take a while anyway.

@Dollywilde Those are good points. But also, looking at a spread of 100 women is different from looking at the chances of each individual woman each month. When looking at it from an individual woman's point of view, the average woman has a 30% chance of getting pregnant each and every month.

So it's a bit like if you flip a coin. You choose Tails, and then you are unlucky enough to get Heads four times. It's unlikely, but it could happen. Now, on the fifth flip, you might be feeling like you are definitely going to get Heads again because you've already lost four times - it's hopeless. Or you might feel like you'll definitely get Tails next time, because you've already had all those Heads. But your actual chance of getting Tails is still 50%, for each individual flip.

So if you get:

Month 1: Not pregnant
Month 2: Not pregnant
Month 3: Not pregnant
etc

Your chance for Month 4 (for the average woman), is still 30%, the same as the first month.

Some women will get lucky on the first roll of the dice and get pregnant in month 1. For those who didn't get lucky, they roll again with that same chance they had in month 1 - so some more get pregnant. If an average woman reaches month 6, they've just been less lucky than the women who got pregnant in months 1-5, and in the next individual cycle, they have the exact same chance as the previous month and as in month 1: 30%.

And if they reach month 12, they may still have just been really unlucky, and just need a few more rolls of the dice, and each roll will still have that 30% chance.

Of course, for each individual woman, we don't know the exact percentange chance for them each month: it depends on age, underlying conditions, partner's age and health, environmental factors, etc. If a woman is younger and has no underlying issues, the chance is likely greater than 30% and so more likely to get pregnant with each try and less likely to reach 12 months. If older and e.g. the woman has PCOS, then it's lower than 30% chance each try so the woman is more likely to reach 12 months. But for most women, it still comes down to luck.

@FlyOnTheWall89 Oh, completely fair enough. It's easy to say once you're on the other side of it. I don't think anything anyone could have said would have helped me feel positive about TTC after a certain point. It's a bloody slog and people who haven't been there really have no idea how it takes over your life! Fingers crossed it happens for you asap

It's also worth noting that even though individual cycles have lower chance the later it gets, they have a cumulative effect - you don't need to conceive every month, you just need to catch once (to count in these statistics, as I know only too well that a BFP does not equal a live birth.)

Point is, statistically you have a much greater chance of having conceived at some point after 24 cycles than you do after e.g. 6 cycles. Not that statistics helps much when you're on cycle 10 or 15 etc.

And, to add a second point, from month 13 onwards there are only 10 women left in the 'not pregnant' box, of which 5 will conceive in the forthcoming year and 5 won't. So even at the 1 year + mark you still have a 50% chance of conceiving naturally in the following year, which seems pretty good odds - ok not ideal, but definitely not in the 'it's never going to happen' camp.

That's a really interesting breakdown, @cunningplan101, I think I'd seen those numbers before but they're always surprising.

One point to consider I guess is that 'Month 1' stats also include those who became pregnant accidentally/without trying, which I imagine is a not insignificant amount. So the stats for those who are actually TTC are probably going to be a bit more evenly spread over the early months (given that if it's an accidental pregnancy it's only going to show up in Month 1, whereas intentional pregnancies are spread across all the months).

Just to think about the study a bit more, it would mean, if 100 women were trying to get pregnant, the number of women getting pregnant over two years would be for example:

Month 1: 30
Month 2: 14
Month 3: 12
Month 4: 10
Month 5: 5
Month 6: 4
Month 7: 3
Month 8: 2
Month 9: 3
Month 10: 2
Month 11: 2
Month 12: 3
Months 13-24: 5

There would be 5 women who did not conceive naturally after 24 months.

Also, of the above pregnancies, sadly 25 would end in miscarriage.

Baby number 1 took ten cycles
Baby number 2 first cycle
Baby number three took 12 cycles

You'll find people that conceived quickly or slowly are more likely to respond, hence why there isn't anyone in the middle!

I'm lucky to have conceived really quickly.

Pregnancy 1: second cycle
Pregnancy 2: second cycle
Pregnancy 3: first cycle (only DTD once).

A study in the BMJ (link) found:

• 30% first time trying;
• 75% within 6 months;
• 90% within a year;
• 95% within two years

So yes, 'conception is most likely to occur in the first month' but that doesn't mean that a majority of people conceive in the first month.

Also age obv affects this: "For women aged 35-39 years the chance of conceiving spontaneously is about half that of women aged 19-26 years."

@FlyOnTheWall89, good luck with the tests! I really hope you get answers that lead to a healthy pregnancy. In my view, knowledge is power and pushing for more knowledge is worthwhile. Is your partner getting checked too?

And yes, the whole thing is astonishingly unfair. You are allowed to be pissed off and frustrated and depressed and sad. TTC is a real mindfuck when you aren't one of the lucky ones, especially when you're turning your life upside down to try to get pregnant.

First time round, 4 cycles. Ended in MMC, then immediately got pregnant again with DS1.

This time, 3 cycles. Another miscarriage, then pregnant on 3rd time afterwards and now 22 weeks with DS2. But my cycles are really long (I apparently ovulated on CD 31 for this pregnancy!), so both times it'll have been about 18 months from starting to try to baby being born.

1st child, 1st cycle

2nd child (new partner) 24 cycles
3rd child 1st cycle after having 2nd child...didn't think we could have any as partner had MFI

This time...well DH has had the snip so looking into IVF