Ttc after miscarriage 🤞🌈✨

@calimc83 were you trying a while? I'm definitely having a hard time with the idea that every month counts. Ideally I'd love to take 6 months off the rollercoaster. Definitely pity party in full swing at mine, too!

@theblueflowers Hi, welcome. I'm so sorry for your loss. This thread is lovely 🥰 I've found it incredibly supportive. I've had a full on pity party for one today so please excuse me today...😫 x

@Ganesh2022 also I think my DH sounds exactly like yours..whilst he's keen and happy for another ( which took some persuading) I think, like you say he's happily walk away tomorrow if I said let's put an end to this x

@Ganesh2022 ah ok, I see what you mean. My mum had me at 38 and in those days that was seen as geriatric! 🙈😆 x

@theblueflowers so sorry you have to join this club, but warm welcome. I've just joined recently and it's helped a lot.

Hi all,

I would love to join if possible? Although I am a little earlier in the process than many of you.
I started bleeding on New Years Eve when I would have been around 8 weeks. I was only able to book an appointment at the EPU on Monday, but nature took over and I was pretty sure it all happened on Saturday evening. The scan on Monday confirmed that there was nothing in my womb, just a thickened lining. They couldn't accept my private scan picture as proof that there was something there, so I am in tomorrow for bloods to confirm that my HCG levels are lowering.
The bleeding is definitely easing, so I am hoping that I will soon be in the clear to get back on it.
I cannot tell you how much this thread has changed my mindset. I've been feeling so lost and without hope, and to be honest I was exhausted by the idea of TTC again, but reading about your experiences has helped me feel so much better about being in this horrible club, so thank you all x

Re pressure, it's been pretty icky for us with DTD. Always me pressuring. It's tricky b/c, while he's happy to have another, he doesn't feel the desperation for it that I do, and would be happy with our family as it is. If I said tomorrow let's just stop, he'd likely never think about it again. So I'm always scared of kinda pushing him into calling the whole thing off (not scared-scared of him, or anything like that, just..it feels yucky). How are people finding their partners in all this (if partnered)?

@Sparklesurprise29 Thanks so much. I'm so sorry we all find ourselves here but it helps so much to have support.

This is Ganesh, this is very old name, didn’t realize it was coming up as two diff names 🤨

@calimc83 I’m 38 and change. It took 5 months to conceive. I guess I don’t mean I don’t think about my age—I do, a lot. I worry it’ll be harder to get there. I just mean I used to think, I couldn’t possibly be ok having a child at x age and now that side of it doesn’t bother me. My mom had me at 19 and was shocked and appalled that I was trying...but times have changed...I do worry it’ll take longer, or that I’ll have to do this several more times. I guess I also live in an area where I wouldn’t be the oldest pregnant woman by a large margin (many on their first at our age) so that makes me feel like it can happen and to the extent that it niggled at me from a social perspective 1. I don’t care anymore but 2. I wouldn’t stand out

@Skl2021 I know! Thanks..you've been amazing 🥰...yeah had my cry now. Need to speak to DH. Hate how it's always me hassling for DTD as well. Going to focus on my diet as it's not the best. Doing stuff for myself ( I want to get back into horse riding) and hopefully just regular DTD will suffice. I'd love to not track anything but not sure I can let go of that much control yet 😬 x

@Sparklesurprise29 @Skl2021 see although this AF has really upset me I kind of didn't class it as my first, that came about 4 weeks after MMC. I wanted that one out the way so I could get down to DTD, if that makes sense? Like you @Skl2021 I thought I'd fall pregnant straight away after the MC...obviously not the case...😫 xx

@Ganesh2022 at the moment I'm very much anxious about my age. Can I ask how old you are? I've just turned 39. How did u manage to move away from getting anxious about your age? ..how long have you been TTC if you don't mind me asking? I think me and OH do need to sit down and discuss this. It's hard..I feel like TTC takes over the women's life but not the man's if you know what I mean? It's always down to me to out the pressure on to DTD? X

@calimc83 ah I'm
Sorry sweet. Don't give up and be gentle on yourself.

Horrible that AF is a physical reminder. I know my husband is very sad too, but his body doesn’t bear the evidence of it all

@calimc83 I think booking the holiday has helped! Something for me and DH to look forward to whether I get pregnant or not this month/next😉
Thank you, I really hope so💖 I found the first AF difficult emotionally so please be kind to yourself💖 but now its passed I feel a lot better about things 🌈

...I think I used to think about it in terms of age, now I don't mind at all about that, I'm just thinking, when is it emotionally too much.

@calimc83 so sorry, totally disheartening. My end date used to be 40, but now I think, why not 41...42...especially when I see people pregnant at that age and they seem to feel great. At 25 I'd have thought that was "too old for me" but I certainly don't feel too old. For me, the age gap with my kids is widening big time, so that idea of 3 close in age and playing together is gone, but if it does happen I'm sure there will be benefits too. My husband and I discussed clear boundaries about how far we'd go (I'd be ok with an egg donor, for example, but we'd only have moneybarelyto try once). I already see the toll this has taken on my kids, and it's hard. But I think the toll of giving up would also be hard for me (he'd be ok either way). Dunno what's harder.

@Sparklesurprise29 thanks for your support 💖 much appreciated. You definitely have the right idea in staying relaxed about it. Any tips?! 😆 fingers crossed this is your cycle xx

@Skl2021 @EmLouisexx @taykitty20 Thank you for all your kind words and support. It really helps...I just don't want this taking over my life ( which it is at the mo) and affecting my loved ones. Urgh. Think I need a good cry and then onwards and upwards. I think me and OH do need to sit down and put an end date on it as well..but that scares me 😩 Do you all find it crushing when AF arrives as well? X

I had a similar thing @PamelaDoov had a couple of pregnancy dreams post MC then AF appeared, so deflating but hopefully it will become a reality soon for us all!💖

Hope you're okay @calimc83💖 be kind to yourself, enjoy baths, have wine, chocolate, lots of cuddles etc, whatever makes it just slightly easier to get through 💖

Congrats @emlouisexx!! Wishing you so much happiness and a healthy pregnancy 🥳

Sorry to hear you are both going through so much right now @ganesh2022 and @pameladoov💔

Currently CD10, feeling mixed feelings this month about TTC, first month. Going to be relaxed about it, dtd regularly but not using opks. Booked a holiday in the Spring for something to look forward to. Don't want to put my life on hold but its so hard when all you want is a baby 🌈