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Conception

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Original poster

Career versus baby

55 replies

Redheadlondon · 13/10/2021 19:52

I feel terrible writing this because it goes against EVERYTHING I try to stand for at work for working parents. But…

I am trying to conceive but really worried it will totally derail my career. I’m working towards a Managing Director promotion that would have me settled for life. But … I’m 34 and started to worry if I don’t start now, with some uterus abnormalities and PCO, it could never happen or take years.

Anyone else had this feeling?

OP posts:
Digby86 · 14/10/2021 02:11

I’m with you. I’m 35 and have put it off and put it for similar career reasons. There was always another promotion looming, and I wanted to make sure I was secure financially and in career terms before starting a family. I work in quite an old school industry and while pregnancy shouldn’t impact on how you’re viewed at work or your prospects, I think the sad fact is that it often still does. I have been anxious of losing everything I’ve worked for to be written off as somehow being less committed to my career/less ambitious etc.

The only thing I can say is that it has to be a totally personal choice about what you want more. If you could have one or the other (not saying that is the case!) which would you pick?

Personally, I realised that I would regret not having a family more than not making partner. So I’m willing to risk sacrificing or delaying the latter if that’s what is required to have a child.

Also, you kind of have to back yourself. And make no apologies. If you’re in the running for a role like that it’s because you’re damn good at what you do!! And you have to have confidence that you will continue to be that good and continue to create those opportunities for yourself if that’s what you want. If it’s not within the business you’re currently in, and having a child is the reason for that, is it a business you want to be in long term? It’s their loss, and you deserve to be somewhere way way better than that which respects your personal choices without that reading across to your professional capability.

Sorry, not sure I can actually be of much help! But just wanted to let you know you’re absolutely not alone in feeling this way.

SlB09 · 13/10/2021 23:15

Start now.
I got promoted post birth.
I was 34, now thinking of second and really wish we'd started earlier for many many reasons.

Firsttimetrier · 13/10/2021 23:09

What will you look back on at retirement age? The progress you’ve made in your career or the family around you?

If you see the latter, I would start now.

Raaaaaaarr · 13/10/2021 23:02

Start now. You'll have a baby and then realise how empty the corporate world really is.

TheDaydreamBelievers · 13/10/2021 22:55

At 34 if you want a baby I'd start asap. I'm 32 and already trying 1.5 years