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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

How hard is it really to get pregnant at 35?

66 replies

Mudra85 · 23/09/2021 10:33

Hi All,

I'm 35 and have just had one NHS-funded failed round of IVF (chemical pregnancy). We're eligible for another round of funded IVF but were told this week that all the funding has been allocated for this year and that we'd have to wait until March to start a new cycle.

Now, here's the thing, we went down the IVF route to avoid having a child with a serious genetic condition I'm a carrier for. There's a 25% chance of having an affected child with each pregnancy. I've been pregnant before at age 34 (in 2020) but we found out our baby boy was affected with the condition and chose to terminate the pregnancy.

Given my age, 6 months seems like an awfully long time to wait, so we've decided to try naturally (as scary as that is given our history) and then have prenatal testing as early as possible to determine if the baby is affected with the condition.

However, I realise that even though neither of us have any known fertility issues we'd be very lucky to get pregnant within 6 months given my age.

Does anyone have any experiences of getting pregnant at 35 or older? How long did it take of active trying to get there?

OP posts:
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dutchessmom · 30/09/2021 19:46

@SheWoreYellow Thank you for the chart! It really puts things into perspective.

Wnikat · 29/09/2021 11:11

Conceived 3 times within 3 months each time between 36-40.

Noodella18 · 29/09/2021 11:08

You could both try supplementing with ubiquinol, which is the more readily absorbed form of co-enzyme q-10. It is shown to improve egg quality in older women and I gather is also good for sperm quality (although I would check the latter). I took it when ttc and got pregnant quickly. I know it won't affect the genetic quirk, but might help the actual conceiving part. 600mg is a good dose, I used the Vytox brand ones from Amazon.

IsabelHerna · 29/09/2021 08:46

@Mudra85 I believe they will help. Good luck with your treatment!

Original poster
Mudra85 · 27/09/2021 11:32

@Seasalt1984 I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. Congratulations on your current pregnancy. I hope it goes smoothly for you! Consultants from my fertility clinic tell me that I'm young still, but I guess every woman is very different and I wonder what they consider to be old in terms of fertility.

OP posts:
Wbeezer · 27/09/2021 11:26

6 months at 36 but it was number 3 and we werent dtd on specific days etc. (years ago before cheap ovulation kits).

Original poster
Mudra85 · 27/09/2021 11:26

@IsabelHerna thanks for the luck. We definitely need it! We've not had much luck so far and so rolling the dice with trying naturally again is very daunting.

I'm taking prenatal vitamins with folate, vitamin D, Omega 3/DHA and a few other things. I've been on all of those for quite some time now due to having fertility treatment, so I'm hoping they help!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mudra85 · 27/09/2021 11:21

@rockingchairhero it's not CMT, it's BMD.

I was nearly 20 weeks pregnant when we had our TMFR. I had genetic testing in the month leading up to that. I was firstly checked to confirm my carrier status. When I was confirmed as a carrier, I then had a blood test to confirm the gender, which was a boy. I then had an amniocentesis to confirm if the baby was affected with BMD, and he was. Only boys can be affected with BMD, so if it was a girl we wouldn't have had an amniocentesis.

Wishing all the best to you too!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mudra85 · 27/09/2021 11:14

@Veronika13 I'm sorry it's taking much longer than you expected. I hope you get good news soon! It also took me a year to get pregnant between the ages of 33 and 34, but I wasn't tracking properly and I don't think we DTD enough or at the right times.

Have you had your hormone/ partner's sperm levels checked and a scan to confirm that everything looks OK? We had everything checked last year and also know that we respond well to IVF (had IVF 5 months ago), so we have some assurances that everything's working OK, but I'm considering paying privately for a fertility MOT just to be sure nothing much has changed in that time.

OP posts:
Seasalt1984 · 26/09/2021 15:57

I conceived at 36 on 2nd month of trying which sadly ended in a miscarriage, then pregnant again on 2nd month of trying after that (when approaching 37), all well and first baby due end of the year. My midwife even commented "oh you're still young!" and had no issue with my age. I thought we'd take at least 6 months with all the "over 35" media hype, but not the case for many women. Pregnancy is a lottery for all of us annoyingly. Even though I conceived quickly first time I still had a loss, it's not always an easy road. Wish you luck with your journey OP Flowers

IsabelHerna · 26/09/2021 15:54

@Mudra85 Well then I wish you all the best of luck! Are you taking prenatal vitamins?

Wearenotyourkind · 24/09/2021 16:40

Currently almost 36 weeks pregnant at age 35. Took around 18 months to conceive, include a miscarriage. We were waiting to be seen at fertility clinic when we conceived. I also have fibroids and low progesterone.

rockingchairhero · 24/09/2021 15:04

@Mudra85 hi. So sorry for your loss and your struggles.

Can I ask- is it CMT? I will be looking in to having IVF to avoid passing this down.

Can I ask at what stage in your previous pregnancy did you get the genetic testing done?

Wishing you all the best Thanks

AntiHop · 24/09/2021 14:21

Had my first at 36, second month of ttc. Has second at 43, that took longer.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 24/09/2021 14:18

Straight away at 35.

Veronika13 · 24/09/2021 14:11

@Mistressofnone

I conceived my first DC at 35, pregnant again at 38 (ended in MMC) and my second DC a month later. All first tries.

DH same age. I understand we were incredibly lucky but admittedly I was a woman obsessed with TTC and did ovulation tests and daily temping throughout, plus in the months leading up to TTC to get to know my cycle.

I'm 34, also obsessed with OKPs - use digitalis every month. Almost a year of trying with no success

OP you just don't know. I never thought it would take me this long, never ever in a million years. But here I am and the clock it ticking :(

ButFirstTea · 24/09/2021 13:58

I'm 35 and 19 weeks pregnant with our first. It took us about 6 months, with the first couple of months working out when I ovulated.

The fertility declining after 35 is widely debunked as others have said - useful to remember that while the average age of women having their first baby has been increasing, women throughout history have always had children into their late 30s and 40s, it was just more often their 8th or 10th child by that point!

Noodella18 · 24/09/2021 13:53

Sorry you're in this situation, that must be very daunting.

It took us 2 months with my first when I was 34 and 3 months with my second when I was 37. Good luck.

Pantaloony · 24/09/2021 13:53

I gave birth at 35 but it took me three years to conceive (it was natural but the doctors wouldn’t let me do any investigative work as I was a healthy, fit person). I have lots of friends who had their first at 40 and some had their second at 42 and they all fell pregnant easily (within three months) so everyone is different. No answers I’m afraid but good luck, I know how lonely it feels when you are trying and that TWW always feels long Flowers

dorothygaleandtoto · 24/09/2021 13:44

6 months for us. I'm 39 and my husband is 50.

Coco90 · 24/09/2021 13:17

Try and think positively OP 😊 as others have said, everyone is unique and different. I have a friend who easily conceived at 35 and 38 and had 2 beautiful healthy babies. If it were me I would definitely try naturally and if it’s meant for you it will happen, and do not (try not) to be disheartened if you do have to wait 6 months, time really does fly by and March will be here before we know it. Best of luck xx

Shmithecat2 · 24/09/2021 12:52

I conceived fairly easily at 39 (dh 45).

gailplattshairbrush · 24/09/2021 12:52

I'm 34 and conceived on cycle 4 of TTC after only dtd once that month. So it can happen fairly easily for some.

Original poster
Mudra85 · 24/09/2021 12:50

Thanks for the link and the chart @SheWoreYellow

@whatswithtodaytoday it's not SMA, but it is a form of muscular dystrophy. It's passed down on the X chromosome. If girls inherit it (like me) then they are asymptomatic carriers and if boys inherit it they are affected with the condition. It's an absolute curse, but your friends story is reassuring.

Thanks for sharing that info @SlateCoaster

@SweetBabyCheeses99 that is very reassuring data and like you say we are so much healthier now!

@Berkeys I'm so sorry to hear about your losses. I hope you have some good news soon!

Thanks for sharing the article @Allium16 I've also heard that it's more like 37 than 35 that you need to start being concerned. This is exactly why I don't want to wait for IVF, which would take the best part of a year to complete with no guarantee of success, before trying again.

@IsabelHerna yep, that's the plan. We'll try in those 6 months and if nothing happens by say month 4 or 5 then we'll wait for the next IVF cycle in March. I'm planning on being much more targeted with timings this time than we were the first time, so we'll see what happens. Then if it does happen we'll have to hope we don't up on the crappy side of probability again. It feels like such a lottery.

OP posts:
TheWayTheLightFalls · 24/09/2021 10:32

It’s highly variable. I conceived within two months at 32, two months at 34 (sadly not viable), and three months at 35. I would say though that I was much more single-minded about the whole thing during this last pregnancy - temping, eyeing up cervical mucus, using Preseed etc.