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Conception

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Original poster

Having a third child cannot decide

28 replies

Cheviot37 · 22/09/2021 12:12

Hi I was after some advice
I really cannot decide whether to have a third child. I have 2 children already, 6yrs and 9yrs. I have been feeling broody as some of my friends have very young children. So I decided to have unprotected sex and try for a baby but then the next day I panicked thinking what have I done. I will lose all my freedom.
Part me would love more children, but I hated pregnancy and labour and I found the newborn stage hard. But now my kids are older I love it which is why I’m hankering after another one. I’m 37 so cracking on a bit. So I do need to decide. I have also started a new job so not ideal but when is and financially all is ok.
My husband is easy either way so really it’s my decision.
But why am I panicking so much I change my mind on a daily basis is it normal to be this undecided??
I wondered if anyone had similar experiences? And how they came to a decision?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheviot37 · 22/09/2021 12:36

Thanks Plumtree, how old are you now if you don’t mind me asking?? And did you ever regret not having anymore?
I feel like mine are growing up too quick

OP posts:
LadyoftheWoods · 22/09/2021 12:35

This is almost exactly my situation. I'm 36 and have two already- 7 and 10. I conceived both whilst on the pill, it was a tremendous shock the first time! We've recently decided to try for our third and this is our second month ttc.

Back then we were just starting out in our careers and it was really tough. Now, we are much more financially secure, own our home and have management positions. We have the time, money and energy for a third so we're going for it. I also wanted to actively try and be excited about being pregnant rather than thinking "oh god" like the previous times. Most of my friends are either pregnant or have very young children so I won't feel isolated. I totally get the "going back to sleepless nights" thing, but I feel in a better position to handle that than before tbh! I'm aware it might be harder to conceive this time but knowing we already have two means the pressure is off a bit.

It's a hard decision but I always think whatever decision you make is ultimately the right one; you can only choose based on how you feel at the time. Good luck!

Plumtree391 · 22/09/2021 12:18

I can remember feeling broody for another child at 37. It didn't last :-).

It's normal to feel like that sometimes but do you really want to go back to sleepless nights, nappies, terrible tiredness and all the rest?

Try not to let your heart rule your head, be quite sure you do actually want a baby before becoming pregnant. Enjoy the two you have.

Good luck.