Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Home insemination - maybe baby finally?

78 replies

SweetFudge · 10/11/2004 10:39

Hello everyone,

This is Sweetfudge from the home insemination crisis question of ages ago - Just want to post and say I'm hoping that the sore nipples then very sore boobs I've been having from 2 days after the inseminations mean only one good thing -that it has worked. I've had tummy cramps eight days post ovulation and am on day 11 now without cramps again. Normally, when I get cramps, AF knocks on the door the day after.

Boobs are like melons and dh is having a ball. He has been scrutinising them and says left boob is also larger than the other and there is a fine blue vein appearing. Ah! explains why I've been leaning slightly left into the wind lately.

Is that odd? Anyone else have lopsided veiny boobs as a possible good sign?Or am I turning into Quasimodo and eventually, the hump will make an appearance?

Dh wants me to test but I'm too nervous. The thought makes me sick actually. We've been zooming into London for months to pick up the sperm and high tailing it back to our place each time to inseminate - it has failed each time so far. The last failed attempt was particularly hard to bear since we thought it'd finally worked.

I'd become so frustrated at the time (an hour) it took between our donor producing the goods and it getting inseminated into me that we finally hired a van last time around (tried to make it cosy at back of the van but short of getting our bed in there, it was going to be quite uncomfortable) and we inseminate round the corner from donor's place. (I mooted the idea again of inseminating at his place but he was very uncomfortable with that - He explained that it was crossing a boundary for him).

Dh understands and I tried to. I know how much he is already helping by doing this for us and words will never adequately express how thankful we are for his caring. Yet some frustrated selfish part of me (the one that wants children so much) thinks "Crossing a boundary? We crossed that boundary 800 miles back! I'm being inseminated with your sperm, Man! This is no time to be squeamish!" It felt like I was being given the tools but not the means of using them effectively.

We were convinced it would work if we closed the time gap. I cried for days when it failed. Just sobbed like a stuck pig for days anywhere...in the shower, in the car, in the pasta aisle of Tesco, onto some paperback at Borders, you get the idea.

I think we'd reached the edge, looked over and just saw years of trying and failing whilst left right and centre, our mates were getting pregnant and having kids.

Anyhow, I'm going to wait till next Monday before I test - if AF doesn't come a knocking before then.

I think the signs are good so far - Any thoughts?

Send us good thoughts for this to work..finally. I send truckloads of babydust to all the members trying to conceive. May we all get the precious +ves we dearly want and dream of.

Sweetfudge

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
moschops · 19/11/2004 22:03

when i'm driving myself crazy, not knowing what is going on with my body, and wondering why all my friends seem to be falling pregnant so easily, all i have to do is come onto MN and read through the posts.

this site is full of truly inspirational women dealing with much more important and heartwrenching situations than my own.

it is very humbling, and all i can do is offer words of comfort that one day we will all be lucky enough to get what our hearts desire.

good luck Sweetfudge......and Hester too......

hester · 19/11/2004 19:20

Sweetfudge, I really admire your courage and resourcefulness in how you are managing this. Huge hugs from me xxx

BeckiF · 19/11/2004 19:14

SF - I hope that regaling that story hasn't upset you and I'm truly sorry if it did. I should of probably asked if you had posted the story elsewhere. None the less, thank you for sharing the experience with us, especially me. I had only asked as it was an option for us had dp not been able to sort matters himslef.

hoxtonchick · 19/11/2004 08:06

oh sweetfudge xxxxxxxxxx

SweetFudge · 19/11/2004 03:19

Thank you, Chandra. Hi BeckiF, DH is azoospermic (very few or no living sperm in any one sample). The likeliest reason is DH having undescended testes for years.

DH's parents didn't discover that his testes hadn't descended till he was an adolescent. They only found out when they took him to their GP after DH started complaining that his pelvic area was always sore and bruised after rugby games.

As such, our chances of conceiving naturally are apparently in the one percentile range.

We started on a cycle of ICSI in 2002 since the fertility guys at UCL informed us they would have no problems extracting some sperm from DH using the TESA procedure. (ie. retriving sperm under surgery)

I went under one fine morning and had 9 eggs collected. DH went under at the same time to get his men out. My procedure took a half hour. His was supposed to take about the same time. DH was in there for an hour and a half. They kept extracting biopsy after biopsy with no living sperm. They finally found 2 and not very good ones at that.

So there I am, sitting up and the head honcho comes in and says, "We found 2 and we'll try and fertilise them with your eggs. But the chances of fertilisation succeeding are about 20%. We also do not recommend any more TESA since it may result in the atrophisation of his testicles. Your DH will not be able to father children of his own. We also need a decision on whether you'll approve fertilising the rest of the eggs with donor sperm. So you need to decide in the next five minutes as we have to fertilise the remaining eggs as soon as possible."

And he actually looked at his watch to TIME the alloted minutes. I just felt myself grow very calm and cold. I thanked him and said I'd confer with him in a few minutes time. What was the point of even letting on how shocked and devastated I was to this man?

Going into DH's room and telling him he'd never be able to father biological children remains a very hard moment for me to think about.

I am sitting here writing at 3 a.m. because it just has been one of those days and I can't sleep.

But writing does help.

Goodnight, mumsnetters.

OP posts:
Chandra · 18/11/2004 16:46

Sweetfudge, many hugs. Thinking of you and sending lots of babydust your way.

BeckiF · 18/11/2004 16:39

Can't they extract immature sperm directly from your partner and use that?

SweetFudge · 18/11/2004 13:11

Hello everyone,

Thank you all so much for your support. I'm sorry for not posting sooner. I am truly grateful for the time each of you take to post your thoughts and friendship on our journey.

We will keep trying. How long for, I don't know.
Each failure reminds Dh of his infertility and my frustration and anger at our situation rears its head with each unsuccessful cycle.

For all you ladies ttc, truckloads of babydust to you! May we all have successful pregnancies soon.

OP posts:
MINNIE1 · 17/11/2004 11:20

SF, so sorry AF arrived.. Sending You hugs and love..xxxx...

hester · 17/11/2004 09:23

So sorry it didn't work out for you this month, sweetfudge . Hang on in there, lovey; it's really tough but you WILL get there. xxxx

smellymelly · 17/11/2004 09:03

I'm a bit slow....

Toothache · 16/11/2004 11:52

Sweetfudge -

Hausfrau · 15/11/2004 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bunny2 · 15/11/2004 20:44

oh bugger . I was hoping for good news from you. So sorry.

kizzie · 15/11/2004 16:56

Im really so sorry sweetfudge. I can remember that feeling of being so convinced and then AF arriving.
Be really gentle on yourself for the next few days. Thinking of you.
Kizziex

cat82 · 15/11/2004 16:41

I'm really sorry to hear that hon, thinking of you sweetfudge.
xxxx

motherinferior · 15/11/2004 16:24

Oh honey. Honey. I'm so sorry.

wilbur · 15/11/2004 16:18

I'm so sorry sweetfudge. Thinking of you.

Pidge · 15/11/2004 16:17

Really sad for you - wish I could think of something more helpful

CookieMonster · 15/11/2004 16:13

sweetfudge, so so sorry to hear this

geordie · 15/11/2004 16:07

(((((hugs))))) thinking of you

xx

SweetFudge · 15/11/2004 16:06

Hi everyone,

AF has arrived. I don't know what else to say. Thank you for all your support, it has meant so much to me.

Sweetfudge

OP posts:
kizzie · 15/11/2004 12:24

Hester - Im really sorry - Ive only just seen your other thread. I hope my congratulations havent upset you even more. Thinking of you today.
Kizziex

kizzie · 15/11/2004 12:22

Sweetfudge - after my (finally) successful IVF I tested 6 days after embryo transfer - just couldnt wait any longer- and there was a faint (but very definate) blue line. Think you could test anytime now. If its negative - could still turn positive over next few days. But if its positive then its a definate yes.

Congratulations Hester!!!!
Kizziex

smellymelly · 15/11/2004 10:10

Don't know how you can wait for so long - surely you could test now?!?!?!?