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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Received dream job offer and now the news that we may not be able to conceive naturally

82 replies

anniz91 · 06/09/2021 23:02

Hi

I am starting my new job soon within a university (which is basically my dream job that I have been working towards for the past years), I have failed so many interviews and have now received an offer.

It couldn't have gone more perfect until me and my husband decided to go for a fertility test (just to see how we are both doing in that department). We were planning on a family next year. Of course the consultation wasn't what we both were expecting. I am fine but my partner (male) is not. My partner has a suspected blockage which prevents his cells from passing through. The semen analysis done showed no sperm cells.

To confirm, we went for a second opinion and they gave us two different stories.

Long story short, experts have told us to try 1) naturally now ( see what happens as per second opinion) 2) go for IVF if further tests show there is definitely no cells present in the next semen analysis .

My problem is I am in a situation where I know I have no choice but to try for a baby now. I am not sure where this puts me in terms of my new job employment. IF we cannot conceive naturally I would have to go through IVF which I know is not easy.

I have no idea where to go from here, do I even go for this job... 1) I probably won't receive a maternity package, 2) I may not come back to a job after maternity leave if they don't keep the position for me...3) the probation period is one year how would that affect me if I do fall pregnant during that time? 4) Would the employment keep my position for me if I get pregnant during the probation

I am really lost and would appreciate some advise if anyone was in this position ..

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 07/09/2021 01:33

I really don't understand why you'd even consider not taking the job. Even if you had no issues, getting pregnant can take ages.

CrazyCatLady75340 · 07/09/2021 01:25

Take one day at a time. Work with what you have and start the new job, then hopefully everything else will fall into place after you've had time to settle in. Good luck! 😊

longerevenings · 07/09/2021 00:56

I would accept the the new job.

Then get some definitive tests to establish what the situation with DH's sperm actually is.

If he has little or no sperm or very limited mobility then I would get yourself established in your new job before starting ivf.

Your new employer will work around any pregnancy if you get pregnant naturally before then.

Aimee1987 · 07/09/2021 00:38

I agree with above they are not mutually exclusive. Go for both.
UK unis are really pushing Athens swan, a program to create more family friendly work environments to reduce the large drop out of female staff at the the more senior levels.
In terms of a mat leave policy my uni has among the best in the country at 6 months full pay and this is offered to all staff even if you are pregnant when you start. In terms of weather your uni does this you can often find that information on their website including things like terms of service. Even if you dont qualify for pay bumps you will qualify for statutory pay

Reallyreallyborednow · 07/09/2021 00:34

So what were the results? Did both test show no sperm in the semen? What was the story in the second analysis?

Sounds like you need a proper work up to get to the true story. From your post it sounds like “experts” don’t seem to know whether there’s sperm or not, and have suggested trying to get pregnant as a way of finding out, which doesn’t sound very expert. Where did you get these tests done?

University employment is pretty good for mat leave etc so while you may miss out on some pay, i think it’s unlikely you’ll lose your job.

gettingoverthings · 07/09/2021 00:19

One of my colleagues found out she was pregnant the day after accepting a job with us.

She's brilliant at what she does - that's life, she'll be back in a year and we can't wait to welcome her return.

Go for the job AND the baby.

GingerFox2021 · 07/09/2021 00:13

Hi @anniz91 I think you need to decide what is more important - a dream job or a family. In any case, i would go for this job. To conceive naturally or using IVF might take some time. And if/when you get pregnant, everything might turn to a good side at your new job, anyway. There’s lots of uncertainty at this stage. Don’t put your life on hold. I was not in this particular situation, but I had quite few similar situations with different questions. However decided to take a new job and then see the ‘’situation when the time comes”. All turned out perfect.
You might be a perfect employee at the end and they will happily wait for you after your maternity leave.

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