Trying to conceive over 40 part 2

@DOB78 💖

Our time WILL come and when it does, some other poor bugger will be sad about it. Reminding myself of that is helpful – not in a “haha, I win” way, but more… reminding me that no one else is getting pregnant AT me or to spite me, just as my pregnancy isn’t AT anyone else; it’s about me. Hope that makes sense! I guess just awareness that hard as it is, my SIL and everyone else’s lucky BFP family and friends have probably also had their moments of weeping over BFNs and losses and hiding from news/group chats/social media.

It’s just all really fucking hard and I hope we’re all staring at bright pink lines soon. to all

Thanks ladies xx

@stuntbubble my cousin just announced their pregnancy and my Mum put a scan pic in a group chat. It was like a punch in the guts and as much as I want to be happy for them I'm sad for myself. Last year 2 girls in worked announced pregnancies after I'd had 2 CPs they both had babies last month and I can't even bring myself to look at pictures or write in their cards......
Its heart wrenching 💔 and as hard as it is we need to keep reminding ourselves, our time will come we will hold our babies in our arms soon xx

@Honey2 and @TTCat40 – thank you for being kind and sensible and rational. I have absolutely zero rationality around my own womb and heaps for everyone else! I can’t believe how crazy it’s made me second time around – I really thought once you’d done it once it would be a mentally easy process.

SIL and I have spoken of each wanting a second, in a casual conversation way, but not specifically “I’m trying right now, for this long, had a chemical” type way. I’ve just worked out she’ll have had her BFP at the time I was losing mine, THANKS universe. I’d rather die than discuss with family; I feel I’d be on womb watch and there would be patronising pity — even if it’s all meant kindly and the reaction is all in my head. Plus she’s all glowing and happy and this is her moment for attention, I don’t want to be the Babadook sulking in the corner muttering “When is it my turn?”

I know realistically DP and I haven’t even been trying that long but we had a slip up a year ago where I took the morning after pill, which was a gut wrenching decision but he wasn’t ready and we weren’t financially ready, then a half-hearted attempt in the summer before we decided to postpone in order to do a renovation first (why?!), so my brain has been TTC for a year even if my body hasn’t

@stuntbubbles I know it's hard. It's natural to feel that way. My friend, who already has a 3 year old, sent me a picture of her pregnancy test on Monday, asking me if it was positive. It was sooooo positive! I didn't envy her but it made me think about myself and how much I want to be able to see a positive pregnancy. It really is depressing. We just have to keep trying. We've got this! Xx

@DOB78 wooo congratulations! Excellent news!! How lovely for you 🥰

@stuntbubbles it’s totally understandable you would feel that way. Emotions don’t care about rational thought! Does your SIL know you are trying for a baby? I have the same situation but the other way around (I’m preg while
My SIL was trying) we spoken openly to each other about it and I think it helped. In the meantime you have to keep faith. It will happen for you, it’s just a very excruciating wait to get the right egg. After watching lady after lady on this thread have BFPs and go in to successfully pregnancy I was getting really down after 2mcs. But third time lucky and I’m now 23 weeks. I am sure it will happen for you xxx

Congratulations @DOB78. That's fantastic news! Exciting times ahead 🎉🎉

Congratulations, @DOB78! That’s excellent news!

Over here my SIL has just announced the pregnancy I was convinced of at Christmas (when I was madly testing following a chemical pregnancy). Feel completely flat. I know babies aren’t finite and someone else’s uterus happenings have ZERO impact on my own but it’s still hard to hear. Especially when every other mother of a 2-3 year old is either pregnant or has a newborn, feel like I’m the only one at pick-up not on the same path.

@DOB78 Aw what lovely news, big congrats! Enjoy all the fizz! ❤️

Not related to TTC, I might not have gotten my BFP but I did get engaged yesterday!!!

Hi furmumma, welcome, and sorry to hear of your loss. I'm new in here too, having had a few miscarriages last year.

Congratulations Littlemiss41andfabulous. I hope you are enjoying all those newborn cuddles.

@TTCat40 we're gonna make it happen!! It sounds really terrible to have to do but we've planned our days for DTD this month and I honestly don't think we can do anymore than that. I do think that's been out biggest issue.
I really really hope your plan works for you and we'll both have a BFP soon x

@Littlemiss41andfabulous congratulations!!! She looks gorgeous - well done you. Hope you are enjoying all those snuggles and surviving the crazy newborn days! Thank you for giving us all a beacon of hope :o)

@DOB78 Yes, all my googling led me to it 😅 it's pricey but my partner agreed that we need to throw everything and the kitchen sink at TTC. You're right; it's soooooooooo much more complicated. I honestly wished I had done this sooner but heyho, no point in regretting. Just hope that a BFP is around the corner this month xx

@TTC@40 ooooo I've not heard of that I'll take a look at it now. I think I'm ovulating as I get positive OPK but I could be wrong, oh dear lord this so much more complicated that it was in my 20s!!!

Hi ladies. Hope you're all well. And welcome @furmumma. Hope your fertility appointment went well.
@oldermam Happy 40th birthday! Glad you had a wonderful time. And you never know what gift awaits you in a couple of weeks!
@DOB78 you're not being negative. Just honest and I know exactly how you feel. My cycles are longer and I have an extremely light flow and only lasting 2 days. The doctor thinks I'm peri menopausal, which is so depressing. I've just invested in a Mira fertility kit as I want to make sure I'm ovulating and DTD at the right times. Here's hoping that a BFP is around the corner for all of us soon ❤️❤️

Thanks Ladies, fed and pissed off we've no BFP this month. I'm starting to think the menopause might be on the way, longer cycles and lighter flow........superb!!

@oldermam Happy 40th Birthday.🎂 Sorry hear party pooper AF arrived and you never know might be the best birthday present waitinging you at the end of TWW.

@furmumma welcome to the group! I'm not usually this miserable, well I probably am but try not to be. Can't really give any advice we're waiting for a fertility appt too.

Hope the rest of the gang is doing alright 👍

Hi! Hopefully it's ok to join in here.

I'm 41 - 42 in April and been TTC since a loss in 2019. I do have regular periods although they sometimes fluctuate a few days either side. I'm also overweight.

I feel I've been fobbed off by my Drs as my and DH's fertility tests are 'satisfactory' - and I guess I don't really push them enough for help.

This morning I woke up feeling more positive and I have a call with my Dr later this morning.

Can anyone please give me some tips on what to ask for to help us?

Just checking in, had the most wonderful 40th birthday. Even if AF arrived the day before! Hope everyone is well. Currently 2dpo. Not overly hopeful this month

@Momddun it's definitely possible.

@TTCat40 oh that's good! I'm definitely going to look into a few

@Littlemiss41andfabulous that's so amazing congratulations! And she's absolutely beautiful 😍 xx

@stuntbubbles ahh I'm sorry we arrived - I think our brains are all delusional at this stage!

@Equimum hi and welcome, I'm very sorry to read of your losses. Tests are definitely a good idea, a good should do quite a few for you then anything else you can get through a fertility specialist.

@DOB78 af is a son of a b@£ch when she delays her arrival like that! Hope you're ok

@Littlemiss41andfabulous She is absolutely beautiful! Congratulations. Thank you for posting as this does give me hope xx

@stuntbubbles I am the same :( Waiting for my AF right now and reading into every single symptom. It is cruel that period symptoms can be the same as pregnancy. My breasts are huge, solid and sore atm (even my DH husband noticed), I have a snotty nose and I am very tired. But also feeling the crampy feeling I get when I'm about to come on and I am getting a spot near my mouth (always a sign of period).

I'm 44, no kids. Pregnant with twins two years ago ended in miscarriage at 11 weeks. I have endo and a blocked tube. Pregnancy was a lovely surprise and we've been trying for years. We kind of gave up before we got pregnant as thought it would never happen so it was a lovely surprise. Still hoping but aware I'm getting older :(

The red witch arrived this morning 2 days late, so just enough for me to get my hopes up!!!
Heyho February here we come

Oh wow @Littlemiss41andfabulous huge congratulations to you and your partner. She’s beautiful. Soak in all those newborn cuddles. I hope you get some rest and recover quickly. Lots of love! Xx