December 07- MC Avengers in big pants, going through, been through or pg after a mc, still here, still eating cakes. We will not be beaten!

A question ladies.

While I have accepted that I am 4 weeks pg (argh), I am also in denial cos i'm terrified.

Back ache though. What is normal for pregnancy and what isn't??

I don't remeber this part of the pcy with dd cos I ddin't find out til i was almost 7 weeks (oh the bliss!!) - so all i have to compare it with are the last 2 experiences which ended in mc.

I have a pain in my lower left back, but I think it may, in part, be a normal back thing that i am just being uber aware of cos of pcy. The pain seems to sometimes shoot down my leg and foot (which i see as a good sign in a warped kind of way iyswim lol)but I am also paranoid it is the start of things going wrong.

argh argh argh.

So descrptions of pcy back ache please ladies.

argh!!

(did i mention argh?)

Kitty - Just wanted to wish you good luck for tomorrow. Have got everything crossed for you. And, hope the DD's are on the mend and your throat gets better. Gess you can't really take anything for it apart from honey and lemon?

Jules - save me some too please! Will forget HUGE slab of carrott cake I had this arvo whilst at soft play zone with DD's! I just LOVE CAKE . Haven't caught up enough to know why you're injecting, but it sounds v painful. And for the whole 9 months. Yuk. Does arnica cream help with the bruising?

Kasha - Hope today has been better. Lots of TLC for you. Can you maybe book a relaxing massage? Or even a hot bath with some candles, essential oils and glass of wine and get your DP/DH to give you a massage?

TJuice - Am with everyone else. Take the raise and run. This is business and everyone is out for as much as they can get. A man wouldn't hesitate to be ruthless to get what he wanted.

Lissie - good luck TTC. Really hope that it happens for you. Nothing worng with lots of practice though

I got stopped today by a fat policeman and told off for being too aggressive whilst driving. I live in SW London and EVERYONE drives aggressively here. I was so ready launch into hormonal diatribe when small voice pipes up from the back of the car, 'Mummy. Are you being told off?'.

Am so frickin' hormonal at the moment not sure whethr to laugh, cry or rip of nearest person's arm and club them over the head with it......AF needs to arrive in a hurry.

lol jules, dont blame you!

hey there girls

jules - your carrot and sultana cake sounds divine unfortunately I can hardly swallow, can you save me a bit. Will be keeping fingers and toes crossed for your scan, glad the injections are getting easier, how long do you have to take them for?

lissie - welcome back glad you found us

mcchesers - I know exactly how you are feeling I don't even think about being pregnant, I feel for this one as with the other two I was really excited etc but I don't think you ever feel pregnant, how can I explain, with the first it's like it's surreal, you have the scans, then the bump starts to grow then you feel it kicking and you know you are pregnant but you don't really equate it with having a baby of your own, does that sounds mad. For me it's only when you have that wee newborn in your arms does it start to sink in. I suppose I am luckier as I have two other pregnancies to compare it with rather than just the mc one.

One more day nearly crossed off ladies, it's terrible wishing your life away but hey it's already near;y December.

Tjuice - I would still ask for a raise then tell them you are pregnant, loyalty is not really rewarded in companies I find. I actaully had a big promotion whilst pregnant, basically there was a restructure loads of senior people left and I was doing 3 senior jobs plus training, my bos was really lovely got me a promotion and back dated pay and bonus.

I'm off to make some good old fashioned mince and tatties (veggie for me) nice and soft for my throat hopefully will be able to eat some.

Kasha - just jumping on quickly before waking DD2 up, but wanted to reply to your post as would hate you to be in a state and no one to answer you. Haven't read expats post, but you have to look to the future. There's no good in you dwelling on the past and tearing yourself up with 'what if's'. It's a very cliched americanism, but postitive mental attitude does have its mertis. I'm not saying you should forget or bury what has happened, just look to the future and the positive ways in which your life can only get better. This is said with the warmest emotion and not in a tree-huggy way. Hope it comes across to you in the right way. XX

Tjuice - IMHO you should ask for the raise, if your level of work increases, then you should be compensated for it whether that be for 6 months or a year..so regardless of your preg!
Go for it! The worst they can say is no. Good luck!

Glad I'm not alone and there is a preggie paranoia party. I'm off the two week scan roation and my next one is on Dec 18th. A whole three weeks away. Have decided to not think about it and just get stuck into work next week. Really looking forward to seeing real people

jules - i am having an appraisal and asking for a raise next week because i want to tell them in january.
but i have been wondering if its a bit unethical or something to ask for a raise then tell them i'm pg?
i can't see any other alternative though really because other than that i will be on the same salary from april 2007 until back from maternity leave in 2009 or something. and we have merged with two other agencies, i have more work to do etc (everyone else has got a raise - moan whinge bitch). . .

men never have these dilemmas. they just ask for more money and get it.

mcchesers - am so in the same boat with you. i look at my scan pic all the time but still worry about everything although i am having a scan every two weeks in this trimester. its ridiculous . . .

I just clued in to the new thread.....

tjuicee.

heres expat's thread!

lissie - you sound good. good luck with the ttc - we all have your back

i couldn't find the expat message - anyone know where it is.

well, i just passed on the organised lunch for two delicious slices of buttered seedy bread with marmite. luckily my danish colleagues just think i am an english weirdo and not pg.

hope everyone is good today.
xx

Kasha- been thinking about you, really glad to hear you are feeling better. I agree, if you can get even a day to yourself just to relax and think about you..I'm sure it will make a big difference. I didn't say before but had some horrific nightmares just after finding out about this preg. It's just your brain sorting through all the rubbish thoughts in your head.

Lissie- good to see you full of hope. You are one strong lady that's for sure!

SK- one more sleep! Sorry to hear about your sore throat..tonsilitis is no fun. Oatmeal bath: by grinding or blending dry oatmeal into a fine powder and adding about 2 cups to the bath water. One-half to one cup of baking soda may also be added to bath water to reduce itching. just a thought..thinking of you xx

I seem to have this wall that won't let me get excited. I've had two positive scans, MS comes and goes..still sore, still fluffy..but there is something that just won't let me relax. Is it always this way with first preg or is it more because of the mc? All this "i'm not sick enough, or symptoms aren't strong enough" leads to an awful messy head. Anyone else comparing milestones with mc?

lovin' the new title! well against the doctors advice we are "unofficially ttc" again. feels a bit like going up before a firing squad tbh, but at kleast theres some hope now! helopo to the new ladies, sorry you are here, but this is a fantastically supportive thread, its been my lifeline! aquababe, congrats!
and all the graduates: each day is one closer to meeting your babies!

Morning everyone. Feeling much better today, woke DH up last night and had a good talk and a huge cry which I think was quite cathartic. I think you're right lcy because the ERPC was so much less physically traumatic than my natural m/c I think the emotional reaction is a bit delayed. I wish expat all the best and am so hoping for a good outcome for her, it's just that her experience has completely freaked me out (and, I imagine, a good number of other people who've had a m/c and ERPC).

It would be lovely to go away for a while, I'll see if we can sort out a day out at least...

sweetkitty sorry your DCs are having a bad time of it. Having calamine lotion dabbed on my itchy spots when I had chickenpox is one of my earliest memories! I hope they recover soon.

Kasha - I think it's only normal to have these feelings, I had a complete natural mc so don't know what that ERPC is like but I can imagine it is over very quick unlike the long drawn out process that I had, which seemed to take about a month start to finish. You know deep down that the right thing was done though. It hurts like hell right now but it will start to get better, you will never forget though but the pain eases and becomes bearable.

ronshar - thanks the 9pm chemist didn't have any piriton when I went on Monday night and I couldn't get out yesterday as DP didn't get back until 10.30pm and I can't take the DC out right now. Hopefully tonight I can get some if not definitely tomorrow. Feel really bad I can't get them any.

DDs were up at least 10 times last night just couldn't get any sleep, eventually DD1 came into our bed at 4.30am but wouldn't settle so we were all up at 5.30 this morning I'm shattered and think I have tonsilitis as well.

Just to let you know Kasha - i had exactly the same thoughts and nightmares after my ERPC (after 1 scan). It took time but they went away. I think it was part of the process of getting over the loss of my baby. ERPC is so quick and because you dont go through the process of miscarrying i wonder if it takes our minds a bit to catch up with our bodies.

Things will get better x

kasha - i really hope you managed to get some sleep.
seriously, these people know what they are doing and there is no way that they would have terminated a viable pg.
i saw a documentary the other day "Flying - Confessions of a Free Woman" - and it was in the US and she filmed herself having a scan. Sadly, although they found a heartbeat, the measurements were way off to be viable and she had a d&c - after only one scan. Much as we can berate them, these consultants do know . . .
as i said, it was definitely part of my mourning/healing process to question everything (i saw my dr and gynae a couple of times to grill them about why it had happened to me) and maybe you need to talk to someone too.

i really hope you are okay. are you having some time off at the moment? if its possible, you should go away for a day or two, just to get out of your environment. my mum took me on a spa weekend (i ended up having a massive breakdown/cry halfway through the most excellent hour-long aromatherapy massage ) I know its prolly hard before Xmas - but its all about you now, giving yourself time and space to make sense of all this.

i'm sorry if i worried you and i really hope that you get rest and peace.xxxoooxxx

Oh God I've just seen Expatinscotland's post and now I feel so so sick - why oh why didn't I insist on them rescanning me???? Sat here in tears and completely panicking. I'll never ever know now if I did the right thing. It never even occured to me at the time that they might have made a mistake. Rathionally I don't think they did, she did a very thorough transvaginal scan. How do I live with the thought they may have done an EPRC while I was still p/g???

I'm so very happy for expat but this has put me in a right state. DH has already gone to bed and I'm completely freaking out

Sweetkitty I meant to suggest before. Have you got Piriton. It is brilliant for little ones when they have CP. My dd2 had it in August and she hardly scratched.Combined with the old faithful Calamine lotion.

Oh my, I couldnt find you and then I got a bit panicky and then it took me ages to find everyone and I thought I might cry.
Then I saw the opening post and I thought brilliant that is just going to finish me off! In a good way can I say.
AQUA that is fantastic news Blumin well done to you & your DH.

So sorry to all the new girls. It is great here. Big pants are not optional, but you can wear what ever style you like Mine are lacy but not see though because I would be arrested for gross indecency.

I have managed to get through a whole tub of Caramel Chew Chew. So I now feel a little sick if I'm honest. Never mind. It was nice.

kate actually I tend to breathe through my mouth, so I've never managed to take my temperature accurately by mouth. I temp vaginally which sounds gross but is actually very easy and also very accurate. I clean the thermometer with a quick wipe and the occasional dip in disinfectant - I don't insert it very far and I certainly don't share it (!) and have never had any problems.

I'm sat here drinking a large whisky in the hope that it will let me sleep tonight .

aww Tjuice your dinner is making me feel and pukey at the same time, I have had half a bowl of ready brek, half a slice of toast and half my dinner today, not good but enough. I'm also in the one step at a time club. Chicken pox when you are an adult is nasty so it's better to get it when you are young but my poor babies, it's on their scalp and even DD2's private parts poor wee things. I'm ok as it's only if you have never had it that it's dangerous in pregnancy, unfortunately I have scars on my face so theres no doubt. Just felt terrible today think I have tonsilitis again, feel the usual sick and knackered and have my poor babies to look after. Feeling very sorry for myself

helo to everyone that made it across to the new room, comfy beanbags, loads of wine (virtual and real) and of course cakes aplenty xxx

i was wondering where everyone got to . . .

CONGRATS AQUABABE!!! wonderful news. let's do the nervy, one-day-at-a-time thing together . . .

sybil - best of luck with your scan or rather, hope it went very well. so nice to be near the end of the trimester. i am 9 plus 3 days and feel like time is just inching by.

georgie - sorry that you are here but welcome

sweetkitty - i had chicken pox in my late 20s and was on antihistimines constantly. poor kiddiwinkles hope they make a quick recovery. are you okay?

kasia - horrid dream - i had several of that nature too actually, even though you have to be double-checked here, i wondered and wondered. i think its probably normal and part of the process to "go there" in your mind actually. at least, i had these phase of unwelcoming thoughts that passed very quickly. i hope you get a good night tonight with sweet dreams.

hi teehee

well, i got my appetite back today and actually ate the lunch at work (danish meatballs (frikadeller) with new potatoes) and then had dinner too (at Hereford Steakhouse - a sirloin with garlic butter, jacket potato with sour cream and veggies).
That is the most i have eaten properly in a while and i feel much better.

which is obviously something to worry about - in my crazy world. i keep taking off my acupressure bands and stopping the vit b6 just so i can feel vomitous - then starting up again - its ridiculous. i wish i could just have faith in my body that its doing the right thing . . .