December 07- MC Avengers in big pants, going through, been through or pg after a mc, still here, still eating cakes. We will not be beaten!

sfx - that horrible. i was really sensitive after the d&c at those check-ups because they used the word "abortion" instead of miscarriage and although i think it may mean the same thing in danish medical language, its obviously a big difference to me.anyway, hope you are ok. your dd sounds so cute. . .

i am still in bed, much to my shame and have been grotting in pajamas all weekend. have only bought my mum's xmas gift (baroque freshwater pearl 14k earrings - want them myself) so far and whenever i look on the internet, i find nice stuff for myself instead. thanks, popsy for putting those ideas in my head (really want fig perfume too but by Henri Bendell, NY -so delicious.) Also being thinking about your topshop platforms - they sound lush . . .

the weather is grim here though, that i don't mind hibernating. its quite nice.

i should be 11 weeks now - I think! my next gynae scan is on wednesday and on friday i have my first midwife appt. i am still nervous and terrified of the scans . . . the week after is the nuchal fold (everyone gets one here) which is another ordeal - happening just before i will finally tell my parents and then fly back to uk for xmas. really hope they take it better this time.

hope everyone is doing well and having a cosy sunday with roast dinners and stuff - drool. i still can't be arsed to cook so exist on sandwiches and eggs. really should sort diet though, as yesterday i had a wipe of red blood, which opened the pandora's box of head-banging-on-wall hysteria, before i realised it wasn't from where i thought (so sorry to share tmi) but you can understand the waves of heart-stopping panic, right?

off to eat prunes . . .

sfxmum - sometimes they don't have a clue you are just a number to them. A few days after my mc I got my 12 week scan appointment and booking in appointment and I didn't even phone to cancel it, I thought sod them.

good morning all

coolkat hope your mum is ok
CDD best wishes for your dad

birthdays and weddings, lovely any excuse for a party I say.

popped out for a bit of solo shopping yesterday but in no mood at all.
Made an effort later to put up the tree which was great for dd she was super enthusiastic, when she woke up today she ran to the tree and started clapping and jumping in front of it demanding I turn on the lights

I have a scan on monday to make sure it is all gone. they did not book it when I was last there because the booking person was out for lunch, no one called me with a date as they promised, so I called them explained everything then the braindead woman on the other end said 'so how may weeks along are you?'
you really have to be thick skinned.

Hi Cricri, what a coincidence it is my mums 60th next weekend - we are having a party of her and have got her some lovely pressies. What a lovely run up to Christmas for you with all those lovely celebrations

Are you on your two week wait - or have you just totally lost track?

CCD - so sorry to hear about your mmc. Like you I also found out at the scan. I think initially I went into shock as I couldn't quite believe what I was being told. Then the realisation set in that all those plans I'd started making (if only in my head) would have to be unmade, people we'd already told would need to be untold etc. I coped by keeping busy and also doing a lot of reading about mc. Like SK says, it stays with you. I'm still bitterly disappointed that it happened and have been ttc ever since, like TS, in a bid to remain positive. Everybody is different and there's no right or wrong. Just go with how you feel and if you need to talk then we're all here. I've certainly found this thread a lifeline over recent months. Hope your Dad is OK too.
Ladylush I am also hypothyroid (diagnosed in October 2004 and on thyroxine since Feb. 05). I've read quite a bit on hypothyroidism and ttc/pg but I'd be interested in your links.
Coolkat Hope your Mum is OK.
Hope everybody else is OK too. I'm having a hectic family weekend as it's my Mum's 60th so we were in London yesterday for a show and dinner and then off out to a pub for lunch today. Next weekend is my sister's wedding in Scotland so it's all go!

Evening ladies just saying hello before I go to bed

CCD - so sorry to hear about your mc, I still think of mine every day and even though I'm pregnant again it still hurts. I couldn't believe how upset I felt and how hard it was it totally shocked me, also by the way everyone else thought "oh well she already has two DC" I think a lot of people thought DB3 was an accident and I wouldn't be that bothered , for me I became obsessed with ttc, luckily I did get pregnant 2 months after mc but that has brought it's own problems. My advice would be take time for yourself and come here often it saved my sanity.

littlewifey - glad your ordeal is coming to an end, when you stop bleeding it helps a bit as does first AF after the mc, means you can get your cycle back to normal.

Tjuice - I am with you on the sheer exhaustion front am so so tired by 3om I an ready for my bed.

hello to everyone else hope you are all having a peaceful weekend x

CDD - Sorry to hear about your Dad - good news that it hasnt spread though. Keep holding your DD tight x

I'm overwhelmed by all those positive messages. It really helps. Had good and then bad day - like you say carrying on and then got hit by an almightly contraction-like pain - not too much bleeding - but bloody hell - last time with DD there was something to show for this pain. As you say, there's a sense that things are all OK and then it hits you - I do find holding my DD very close so comforting - and she is the one that really makes me smile again! I just have to let go of those little plans one by one - it's so weird though isn't it how you just feel like everything is in a muddle, from work to the house to family. My Dad goes into hospital on Monday to have an op for a malignant growth in his mouth - but he has positive news that it hasn't spread - but what a week. Thinking of you too Coolkat - it's going to be OK.

I love these faces

Hello lovely ladies - how are you all?

popsy76 - just to let you know i also had 2 weeks off after mc and i recently went to a very posh family wedding (3 months post mc) and got hideously drunk (which i never do - at least not in front of my family) and started crying (proper snivelly wreck) - hmm bit embarresed about that still.

I hope everyone who is having a difficult time is ok.

I am ok - trying to forget about being pregnant and just getting on with Christmas shopping. Just bought 3rd series of House and me and DH are going to do a marathon episode viewing tonight x

CCD- as the others have said everyone copes differently. I had a MMC and found out at scan when I should have been 11 weeks. Decided to wait to MC naturally and seems finally to be coming to an end now. Last 2 weeks have been extremely hard, but I have tried to carry on as normal. Only had 1 day off work, but that is my way of coping. Thing I've found most hard is that because I'm a teacher I come into contact with lots of unfit parents who really don't seem to deserve their DC and that makes me feel angry and like the world is unfair! Also the insensitive comments from others around don't help and all of a sudden the whole world seems to be talking about babies! (Or maybe that's just my imagination) . Just try to stay positive x
Coolkat, I really hope your mum is ok.

so sorry...mistakenly wrong thread.
have asked mumsnet to delete.

Morning everyone
CCD hope you are okay - reading the messages from all these positive ladies I feel like a complete drip - I had two weeks off work and was still a complete mess. Actually most people think I'm fine til I get drunk and cry
Let's hope you can pull a TJ and use this experience to make a positive change (if you don't I'll be here festering so you can always drop in )
Lying in this morning pondering on the fact that I am now officially infertile (1 year in ...)
Managed to have a chat with DH before he left this morning about how I said I didn't want to ttc for a while and how that was a total pile of sh*te and what does he think about me going to the docs to get us some clomid
He's off to have a christmas all dayer with his mates so I am here pretending to do some work but buggering about on the net for christmas prezzies
hi to everyone

morning ladies

another marathon sleep to catch up on the week and i am planning to go back to bed soon. work is intense - too busy to have my appraisl on friday but will have it on monday am. but we have to launch a new product before xmas so its going to be ridiculous . . .

ccd - so sorry about your mc. its amazing the variation in how people cope. i had a strange, drunk, tearful weekend after my D&C and went straight back to work on the monday. i wasn't over it and I am not the practical coping type. I spent a long time thinking and digesting what had happened but it was okay for me to go back to work during that time. it helped that i am part-time though . . . anyway, hope you are doing okay. everyone needs to crawl under the duvet and regress now and again. in fact, i think i may do it in a minute.

coolkat - hope your mum is okay.

how is everyone else? doing well, I hope.

good morning all just because

Verso if you are reading this we are here if you need any support x

Good cheer to all this evening and may you all have the best weekend ever!!!!!

This thread especially!!

I second Kate...MN is a lifeline!!

Coolcat best wishes to your mum, and to you.

CCD so sorry to hear of your loss. As you see, everyone copes (or tries to ) a little differently, but one thing I'm sure everyone here would agree on is that this thread is a lifeline. I certainly find it much easier to 'get on with it' (and not to keep wanting to talk about what happened to inappropriate people...) by knowing that everyone is here, and that I'd only need to shout if I wasn't coping and messages of advice and support would come flooding in, just as they have for you. Bottom line is, it's a really sh*t thing to happen, no matter what your circumstances. You just have to do whatever works for you, be that concentrating on the future or hiding away for a little while - or maybe a bit of both. For a while I found nothing really helped, unfortunately shopping now seems to have regained a little of its former allure...! Thinking of you xx

CCD - so sorry for your loss. Do you have diagnosed hypothyroidism? I have read a LOT of research relating to the condition and it's impact on pregnancy and conception so if you need any links let me know

ccd - i'm sorry to hear your news. Try to take it easy, be kind to yourself, and give it some time. The first few weeks are hard, and I found the first af made me very sad, and generally it's all about ups and downs.

TS - every considered a career in motivational speaking - v ulifting!

Aqua - i think the 3 month thing is the official line from doctors, but I can't see that there's really any sound reason for that. Go woth your own feelings, I'd say.

Verso - this thread is for anyone who's been through the mc experience - you don't have to be ttc, so stay with us, you're very welcome just to lounge around here and munch on cakes, or ice cream, or wine etc.

Ladylush - well hopefully the thyroid problem is the key to your wait for a bfp, and now they're getting it under control, fingers crossed things happen for you.

We've been doing lots of puddle sploshing, but the main thrilling adventure this week has been lift riding and the accompanying button pushing whenever we've gone into town. I never knew there were so many lifts....

CCD - As you can tell everyone is different. I veered from trying to carry on as normal and then hiding away. Both helped at certain times and didn't at others. Found/Find it goes in stages. One day you think you are over the worst and the next you feel rubbish again. My DP was the sames yours, we don't have DC but he was cooking, shopping, washing etc. Let yourself lean on him even if it is just for practical stuff. Your body and hormones are not right as well.

I suppose my overwhelming message is go with what you need and if that is hiding under the duvet and regressing to a 9 yr old - do it. Listen to yourself.