Better to travel heavily pregnant or with a 1 month old?

Don't put your plans on hold. Please don't put plans on hold for a wedding that may or may not happen. Similar happened to a close friend of mine. She was very heavily pregnant when her youngest sister got married in Spain. They are a very close family but my friend decided it wasn't worth the risk flying. She also had a toddler and said she felt exhausted and wiped out by the second pregnancy and didn't fancy a trip to the sun. As it turned out he was born a few weeks early anyway

My baby arrived 2 weeks late and I was pretty much bed ridden for 2 weeks after that. Went to a local wedding at 3 weeks but stitches had burst by then so still had an open wound across part of my perineum (couldn’t sit properly) and was bleeding clots. So my “one month old” by due date would’ve actually been while I was still really poorly.

I’d delay a bit I think.

There used to be one OP

Not to dwell on stuff that can go wrong but if something happened with the pregnancy and you needed family support (bedrest or hospitalised for final months or a premature baby in a hospital further away and you unable to drive back and forth for example) are their people you’d be comfortable relying on to help with your existing child for an extended period who aren’t invited to the wedding? Or if the worst happens would you be essentially wiping out half the guest list?

Not RTFT = not read the fucking thread

Usually like this- I put it because I thought someone may well have said it, didn't want to read the whole thread, but thought it was important if no one had already said it!

You haven't been able to get a first passport for a child same day for quite a few years now so don't bank on being able to do that. I'd wait and see what happens and make your plans accordingly.

Not RTFT

Check insurance will cover you and also the flights will take you

If 2 under 2 is important to you, then forget about your sister’s wedding for conception timing. Either you will be able to go or you will have a special lunch with her the week before where you feed her lots of champagne and talk about how excited you are for her.

You might have to tell her before the 12 week scan if she’s relying on you as a bridesmaid, but just live your life

Sorry in response to 2 under 2, I definitely want 2 under 2. I'd like to have children close in age and am aware it will be extremely tough, but I'm up for the challenge.
Are you sure your body will have fully recovered with such a small gap? Waiting at least 18 months between pregnancies is recommended to reduce risk of premature birth or low birthweight (especially if you’re over 35).

Don’t put your life on hold! If you get pregnant and there’s a wedding then you will look at the solution.

I took 5 week old DS1 to Greece for a family wedding. I'll be honest I asked every midwife, GP, doctor I came across whether or not we should go, hoping they would say no. They all said to do it and that newborns just need you and don't care where they are. That year there was a heatwave so here was as hot or hotter than Greece, so weather wasn't much of a consideration. I had a straightforward birth which obviously helped but I organised everything on the basis that it was always 50:50 whether we would go. I got specialist travel insurance for me and DS so we could get our money back if we couldn't go for health reasons to do with either of us. I was also prepared to lose the money if I just decided I didn't want to do it. He was our first so I just had no way of knowing how I'd feel.
Passport wise DH had to go up to London and get a same day passport done, which was obviously pretty expensive. This was all pre covid so I don't know how doable that would be now. Birth registrations are still delayed by at least 5 weeks in my area.
In the end it was fine. We had family on tap and I basically breastfed next to a pool for a week. It was much better than I thought it would be tbh. That said I now have a toddler and a newborn and I'm not sure I would do it now with 2. All DH had to focus on was helping me and DS1 and that wouldn't be the case if he had our toddler and I had the baby. The amount of stuff we had to take was insane and I don't know who would deal with all that.
I wouldn't even consider doing a trip like that pregnant. Giving birth or having complications abroad would be horrendous. X

You’re perfectly entitled to want to plan for two under two. Clearly the idea horrifies some people but you’re far from alone.

But if that is your plan I think you’re mad to wait and try to plan around a wedding. Just crack on. Work out what’s possible if and when you become pregnant. It’s a foreign wedding in a pandemic with no known expiry date, your sister will have to go with the flow.

Personally I wouldn't fancy either of those options. It'll be much more pleasant to be under 28 weeks pregnant imo.
It took us one month to conceive dd1 and about 4 months to conceive this baby.

All because they may be close in age doesn’t mean they will be close. Depends on personality

With my first I fell pregnant on the first month of trying.

To get pregnant again, I've had to undergo two rounds of ivf.

Nothing is a given.

Getting a passport on time would be my concern with the latter option.