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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Will they let me continue with IVF if I own up?

32 replies

flipflop256 · 15/07/2021 19:33

Hi,
I'm 40 and my partner and I have been TTC for 13 months. We've just found out today that we've had a second miscarriage (the first happened at 7 weeks and this one at just 6 weeks). We are devastated and wondering what to do next. I would like to talk to my GP but we are part way through the NHS IVF wait list and a condition for treatment was never having been pregnant before. I want to have an honest discussion with the NHS about what our best options are now but I don't want to scupper our chances of getting IVF.

All our fertility tests have come back really positive (high egg count, good semen readings, no issues revealed on ultrasound etc) and we managed to get pregnant the second time just three months after the first time.

I wonder if anyone knows what the medical advice would be for us now. Would IVF weed out the poor eggs from the high quality ones and therefore be our best option anyway? Do they administer IVF differently if you've previously managed to get pregnant? (Eg I've read that the drugs they give you can be dangerous and maybe I don't need them if I don't have a problem impregnating ?) The fact that I had both miscarriages at a very similar time makes me think there could be another issue at play?

Thankyou so much for any advice

OP posts:
theotherfossilsister · 15/07/2021 21:04

I'm Scotland (in Edinburgh anyway) they still do IVF after miscarriage. I had no idea this wasn't the same elsewhere. That said the miscarriage was about a year ago so maybe that is a factor.

I honestly think it is best to be honest however hard and however much you're hurting, and I know it's hell, I really do

elliejjtiny · 15/07/2021 21:03

You need to be honest to get the right treatment for you. Considering your age, getting pregnant twice in one year would indicate that your fertility is really good. I had a very similar experience, although I was a lot younger (22) and at the time it felt like we had been trying for so so long but it wasn't really. I appreciate it's a lot different when you are older and have less time to ttc.

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 15/07/2021 20:52

However, I'm still not sure whether I would be honest about it. 🤔

DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 15/07/2021 20:50

I guess the thing is, you don't have an issue getting pregnant. You may (or may not) have an issue staying pregnant.

If the latter is the case then IVF would be a waste of resources, in theory, if there was a cause for miscarriages.

Obviously I'm saying this in very broad terms and every individual is very different.

I knew someone who had 8 miscarriages, had IVF 3 times and miscarried those until they found out what was causing the miscarriages.

Once the diagnosis was clear, they did IVF, treated the mother, not totally sure how but I know regular blood transfusions were involved. And it resulted in term, well baby.

MangoM · 15/07/2021 20:14

As PP said, it's best to be honest to help them make the right decisions for you.

I get where you're coming from though. You worry they'll say you longer need their help. But don't forget that a successful pregnancy isn't just about getting pregnant in the first place, it's about the pregnancy progressing through all the way.

Similar happened to me... started fertility investigations, then got pregnant naturally, miscarried at 6 weeks, and then pregnant again after 6 months and miscarried again at 8 weeks. I told them what had happened and they still scheduled us in for IVF despite the two previous pregnancies but in the meantime booked me in for additional scans to see if they could find any underlying cause for why it happened twice. I might be wrong but my understanding was that in a non ivf setting they wouldn't do the extra scans until you've had three, but in this scenario they want to get a much information as possible to ensure the best ivf.

Really hope it works out for you. Good luck x

Lockdownbear · 15/07/2021 20:01

Truthfully I think I'd say nothing.
They may have a policy of making you wait 3 months before any fertility treatments after MC, for MH reasons.

The chances are your MC are due to poor quality eggs but one thing IVF will do is pick out the best embryos you produce.

Fingers crossed that you manage to hit it lucky and not need the IVF

Badoukas · 15/07/2021 19:55

I think that when it comes to health you need to give all the information and be totally truthful. In return you will get safe and appropriate treatment. Good luck x

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