Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

@Amy259 success rates for SI are pretty much the same according to doctors 😊

@HopefulGlow will you test before af is due or just wait it out?

I’m okay, I absolutely hate this bit of the cycle, I think maybe even more than I hate the tww. I often spend the whole time worrying about DH, it’s so tough when his head goes because there’s rarely any coming back from it.

SI is self insem, so basically the performance issue stopped us trying for maybe 4 or 5 of the first 10 months of ttc and it caused so much frustration and upset, and arguing! So after a bad argument where I felt like he wasn’t doing enough to try to fix it, I bought sterile pots and syringes so that if it came to it then he could do it into a pot. But in the end having them in the cupboard totally took the pressure off because he knows there’s a back up, and we’ve ended up only doing it once the month I bought them (more out of curiosity!), then again this morning.

I since discovered lots of couples do it, some because of shifts, some performance issues etc. There’s threads for it on here, and another girl in this thread does it too. It’s a good back up for us, previously he would’ve just gone to work this morning without DTD successfully, and both of us stressing all day about whether or not we’d try tonight, but it’s not as successful as the real thing apparently.

I’ve been LH testing, I find BBT a bit more stressy. Which do you do?

That’s good you got your date through but mental about OH’s doctor - surely it doesn’t matter either way how your test results come back, you need to know if there’s something going on with him too? X

@Amy259 I’m feeling okay, a little anxious and also like there’s no point me being hopeful! It’s such a rollercoaster of emotions isn’t it.

How are you doing? Sorry your O is late, it’s horrible that your DH feels so much pressure too. I hope you work through it and help each other 💕 it’s such a difficult position to be in.

Sorry, I’m a noob, what is SI?

Have you been testing LH or temp?

I got my scan date through at the end of the month and my other bloods need to be booked next week. My OH’s doctor won’t do an SA until my results are back though, that’s really annoyed me! But hey, it’s still progress 😅 ✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow how are you feeling? Remind me, are you a tester or do you wait for af? The few days before af is due I swear take twice as long ad any other day.

I’m having a frustrating fw. We were doing amazing with our dtd but of course ov has been later than predicted and whenever that happens and we have to dtd regularly for longer, DH’s performance anxiety creeps in 🙈 I think I’ll be ovulating later today (day 18), so our wonderful efforts on 11, 13, 15 & 16 may not even count! Managed this morning but it was not easy and in the end has involved SI so we’ll see. So annoying! Last month it was cd15 and I was so hopeful it would be early again. It’s never bloody easy.

@AZ1992X Christmas research is just as important 😁😁 sounds like you have everything covered, I’m proud of your organisation!

@User1400 I’m so sorry for your period being late, it’s so horrible just waiting. Every time you go to the loo you hold your breath 😔 It’s always a bitter sweet moment when you start though, utter sadness you’ve started again but slight relief you’re not waiting anymore and there’s a fresh start and new chance 💕

I have no clue how I would deal with that either! It’s such a tough situation to be in, you want to be utterly happy for her, but you can’t help how you feel too.

@HJen22 we will miss talking to you but we completely understand. I hope you have an amazing Christmas and new year. Spend all your time doing anything you can to be happy 💕💕

I’m having a few days being quiet too, only 4 days until my period and it feels like it’s going to be the longest 4 days 😩

How’s everyone’s week going? ✨💕✨

@HJen22 I’m really going to miss hearing from you, but completely understand - you need to do what’s best for your head and your heart!

Wishing you all the luck in the world going forward and hope to hear from you in the future xxxx

Hi ladies, hope you are all well and had a nice weekend :)

Sorry for my lack of chat. Since we had our follow up on Friday I have decided to try and talk/think less about the whole process and try and just live my life as normal as possible until the time comes next year to go through IVF. I won't see or speak to the Dr again until January.

Going to have a little break from all things TTC, continue with my acupuncture and nutritional stuff in the meantime and just try and get in the very best mental and physical shape i can.

I will be back soon I am sure, all the love and positive vibes to you all, and I really hope there are some BFPs real soon. Thanks for being there for all the chats and support and I am thinking of you all and hope you understand xxxx

@User1400 yeah it’s so tough, isn’t it? I would just opt for mentioning you’re finding it hard more regularly and hopefully things click without an awkward conversation. I’m sure she’ll understand you want to be supportive but it’s hard for you sometimes.

I’m good thank you! CD16 here and no peak yet, which is quite late compared to recent months. I seem to go for like 3-4 months peaking at 14 then 3-4 not peaking until day 17 or so, so must be the start of some late ovulations now. Lots of ewcm today though so can’t be far off, and so far have been dtd plenty so hopefully that’ll continue for a couple of days and the stress of catching ov will be over! Xx

@Amy259 With my HyCosy looming it could be a good way to bring up that I’m feeling anxious/upset about my situation, and hopefully she will click.. it’s just about finding the right balance, I don’t want to feel like she can’t be happy about her pregnancy around me, but I need to protect my own heart too. How are you doing this week? Xx

@AZ1992X how are you doing today?

@User1400 I’m glad af has put you out of your misery and finally appeared, but sorry you’re feeling rotten - it’s just so shit isn’t it? That must be so hard with your friend, is there a way you could tell her you’re finding things a bit tough at the moment even in general without mentioning her at all, and she’ll maybe just click that hearing about her pregnancy often can’t be easy?

Morning all, how are you all doing? Anyone do anything nice over the weekend?

AF finally showed this morning so I’m feeling a little low. My best friend has been talking a lot about all of her pregnancy symptoms and I’m finding it quite hard to deal with, feeling extremely jealous and then feeling guilty for feeling jealous! I haven’t said anything to her as I am trying to be supportive.. I suppose it’s all just part of the package 😢 xx

Morning everyone!

Hope everyone’s doing ok.

@Loops01 there’s no need to apologise, you do what’s best for you and if you feel like talking you know where to find us ❤️

@HopefulGlow I didn’t get too much shopping done even though I spent ages looking - brought one present & I did manage to do a list for Christmas (food etc) 😂

@User1400 that’s the worse ain’t it! Especially as you get your hopes up. Hope you’re doing ok.

@User1400 ahh I’m so sorry - that’s the worst. So cruel when af is late and that hope creeps in 💔 how many DPO are you now? Yeah you’re right - find the silver lining in your hycosy being at the right time now. Sending you lots of love!

@AZ1992X I love both your organisation and your Christmas enthusiasm! I’m here for it.

@Loops01 sorry things seem extra tough at the moment, sending you lots of strength and here to chat if you need ♥️

Hi girls, just catching up on all your messages 🤓.

@HJen22 that’s great news the process moves quickly from January! The NY will be here before you know it. At least you can take a few months to prepare yourself and enjoy the festive season before your journey begins 🤗.

@Amy259 gosh that is such a thoughtful message from your friend! I have the same concerns, worrying about only feeling bitterness and dread at announcements. It is super validating when someone acknowledges your struggle, and doesn’t just decide to spring a pregnancy announcement, without checking in because they feel uncomfortable. Kudos to your friend!

@Loops01 so sorry you’re struggling Loops and please don’t apologise for feeling low 🥺. We’re hear to lend an ear when you’re feeling up to it, sending a virtual hug!

—
Sorry if I have missed any other messages.

After thinking I was about to start AF the other day, I haven’t come on yet. I have been winding myself up the past couple of days thinking ‘this could be it!’. I still haven’t come on today so decided to test and put myself out my misery. Wow, was I reminded about how horrible seeing a BFN is! I’m glad it’s out the way and at least with AF being late it aligns my cycle better for my HyCosy at the end of Oct. Just feeling upset seeing yet another BFN coupled with the knowledge we cannot TTC this month due to HyCosy. Sigh 😭.

Xxx

@Amy259 I know what you mean, sometimes you have to remind yourself of that. It’s just hard when it feels so far away doesn’t it. BUT it will be that much sweeter when we get that little bundle in our arms 🥰

@AZ1992X I think that sounds lovely, making sure there’s more than just ttc stuff too! I will make sure I do the same 😁 Haha yeah don’t set fire to yourself 😂

It’s been super miserable here today too! It’s jumper and hot drink weather for sure 😍 OH MY GOODNESS! I’m glad I’m not the only one getting excited for Christmas! You are amazing for starting your shopping now.

Did you get much done?

@Loops01 I’m so sorry you’re struggling too! We understand you not wanting to talk, so don’t worry. We will be here if you need to talk or vent 💕

That’s good you got some ewcm! But I’m so sorry about your covid vaccine throwing it off, that’s so frustrating.

Sending you all my positivity ✨💕✨

Hello all, sorry been rubbish. Work has been busy and I've been trying to stay busy and generally I am hating every aspect of ttc and work so I'm just not in the mood for talking most of the time.

My 2nd covid vaccine threw off my cycle again and my peak was just over 1 and it was there and gone within a matter of hours. I would have missed it if u didn't test. Only thing that drove me to test was ewcm.

Due to my hycosynot going well and not being able to go back to work they all know now and it's just a bit shit cos most folk don't really care.

I hope everyone is doing good and coping with the lead up to ov or the TWW! I'll be back at some point when I feel up to it. Sorry!

Afternoon ladies!

@HopefulGlow thank you & I hope so 🤞

I haven’t thought about it much but I absolutely love the idea of writing a list of wishes for next year!! I might have to do that -I’ll try and have quite a few things especially none ttc wishes like travelling more etc…

You’ll have to let me know if you do decide to do the first and have a fire 😂 I defo wouldn’t trust myself - very accident prone.

I love waffles 😍 enjoy!
Weather is fully miserable here so I’m currently sat in bed with a cuppa and starting Christmas shopping. I know it’s very early but I love Christmas and it always gives me something to look forward too 🎄⛄️

@HopefulGlow thank you - was genuinely concerned I was just bitter now 😂

My SIL would be another story I think, they’ve not had any kids yet and I know it’ll hit hard if they’re first. But just reminding myself that it really doesn’t matter at all in the long run, as long as we get there.

Thanks - enjoy your waffles!! ♥️

@Amy259 oh my goodness that is so nice. Your friend is so sweet and thoughtful for sending that.

I am beyond happy that you feel overjoyed for her. That’s a huge thing and we can’t always help how we feel. I am wishing you both can spend mat leave together too, how magical would that be?! I think the fact that you have a friend like that, who is so supportive and kind is so nice!

My SIL announced her 2nd pregnancy yesterday on our family chat. I was so happy for her, which was a relief. I was worried I would be bitter without wanting to be! So I had a little cry because I was happy for them but also hoping I could make that announcement one day 💕

She was pregnant with her first at the same time as my sister, so I thought how nice would it be if she is pregnant at the same time as me this time? 🥰

Ooo your dog walk sounds lovely!Have fun! 😁✨💕✨

@HopefulGlow oh he’s not my type at all - I was quite disappointed if I’m honest 😂 but I enjoyed his voice. No, definitely not big foot hahaha.

Feeling a little better but this cold is so determined. Woke up this morning to the most considerate messages from one of my closest friends - she has an 18 month old and I adore him, she was my bridesmaid and he was at our wedding at just 2 months old, we’re not long back from holiday with them etc. Anyway, she’s just found out this week that she’s expecting again, and sent me the loveliest message saying she understands this must create a torrent of mixed emotions for me, and that she loves me even if this is too hard for me just now, and that she wants me to know that she’s hoping with everything she has that we can spend mat leaves together this time round 🥺

I’m so so happy for them, and it’s such a relief because I was worried I couldn’t be happy for people anymore and I’d only feel bitter. So it’s been lovely to only feel delighted, if a little emotional at her messages (I cried with gratefulness rather than sadness!).

Waffles sound dreamy! I’m getting ready to go for a dog walk with our younger dog’s breeder - so if anyone sees 7 golden retrievers in Fife today, come say hi 😂👋🏻

Happy Saturday girls! ♥️

@Amy259 oh my goodness I just googled him 😂 he isn’t my type but his voice is so nice!! Love the accent 😍 originally I put his name in YouTube….but a weird video about Big Foot came up and I thought….that can’t be him 😂

I hope your cold is getting better? Weather is dropping now and I’m ready for pumpkins and woolly jumpers!

She really is and I just hope she grows up soon. It can’t be good for her holding on to all that hate and negativity!

@AZ1992X that’s great news!! Glad you’ve ovulated, this could he your body getting back into the flow of things 🤞🏼

I’m so sorry this year has been so awful for you. Have you thought of ways you want to see the year out and new year in?

I love doing symbolic things. So I was thinking Of writing all the things down I want to leave behind this year and burning them 😂 in a fire or something!!

Then write a list of all my wants and wishes for next year and really look at them, then maybe burn them too?! 😂 who knows! I just can’t have this year leak in to next. So I’m hoping this for you too!

What’s everyone’s plans this weekend? I’m going to make waffles for breakfast 🧇 that’s about the extent of my plans haha

Hope you’re all okay ✨💕✨

@Amy259 there has been the odd cycle like that and we’re both happy we can have a break once ovulation has happened 😂😂.

That must be hard - I think it must be tough on them too as it’s a lot of pressure. I think you’re defo covering yourself by doing it every other day.

It does make sense and I’m with you on that - some days Im really not feeling it but I say to myself what if doing it today is the one.

@AZ1992X god love you on the months there’s a few highs on the lead up to peak 😂

I would prefer that - as soon as OPKs went even almost positive, I’d go for it as much as possible. But I know DH couldn’t manage that… he’s just about entirely in control of any performance anxiety, but I think asking more than every other day (especially if he wasn’t feeling it anyway) would be too much. I find it much easier than him to crack on even if I’m not in the mood, he goes into his own head as if it’s wrong that it’s an obligation rather than because you want to, if that makes sense? Whereas even if I really can’t be hooped and couldn’t feel less in the mood, I can get myself there for the cause 😂

@Amy259 thank you - it hasn’t been too stressful just busy, defo ready for the weekend now though.

We normally dtd every other day from around cd10/12 but then do it daily from when I get high/peak until ovulation has happened. So not really a schedule as it can vary slightly depending how many highs I get.

Im with you on that it’s changed since ttc!
Defo could not do what that person did 😂😂