Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

Oh my goodness @Amy259! I bet you barely slept last night 🤣. I can deffo see the lines 😍 confusing it didn't come through on the digital but did on the other two types of test, hopefully it just needs a few more days 🤞🏻.

Please don't worry about us, as @HopefulGlow said that's why we are all here, to see BFPs 🤗. We know you're conscious of us but appreciate hearing it all the same. Your news brings more positive vibes for us all to the thread 💓.

Super exciting and can't wait for updates over the next couple of days, I know those days will feel like years for you 😂.

@HopefulGlow bread and butter.. yummy! I enjoy baking but I am a bit pants at it hehe. I'm trying to shift some weight too, so a house full of fresh bread is the last thing I need lol.

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You ladies ideas for announcing to your DH are so sweet! I don't think I would be able to hold back or plan anything surprising, I would just burst into the room and announce 😂. That's such a good idea @HopefulGlow your DH waiting with you whilst you test, gives them an idea how intense it can be xxxx

@HopefulGlow keep reminding myself that this morning’s (at 5am..) were only 12 hrs later and it’s maybe just too early to pick up on the digital.. I just always see people online with faint lines getting positive digitals, so I’m disappointed it was negative. Im going to try and not test until tomorrow and not go out of my mind…

We have a memory box thing my MOH gave us for wedding stuff and we’ve never used it, so my plan was to fill that with the shirt and baby grow and a digital test, then just casually be like “oh I thought of something to use that box for….”. May try and film it… but if this is it (🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻) I probably won’t do it until Thursday or Friday.

I would love to tell him straight away, but the small comfort I take from the chemical was that I hadn’t told him yet, so I’m still clinging to that surprise “reveal” moment. I think I would’ve been even more broken if we had had the big celebration and talked about it out loud, then it went away. I know that could happen at any time, but I never got the digital positive last time so once I’ve got that I’ll feel safer to tell him.

Bread and butter, I love that! We ended up at the garden centre so I’ll join you in the pension queue 😂

Today I think we’re off to see my folks for a bit but not much else. What about you? Xxx

….did not mean the 🤦🏼‍♀️ Emoji haha

@Amy259 oh my goodness I can see them!!! I’m sending all my positivity your way, I hope they continue getting darker 💕💕💕

That’s such a cute way of telling him! I had a list of ideas to tell my OH, then after another BFN and me telling him. He asked if he could be with me when I test, he wanted to feel a little more included! So my cute little ideas are out the window but I know that’s not going to matter when we get those two lines 💕

I made some bread and butter yesterday ladies….I think I’m turning into an old lady haha

What’s everyone doing today? ✨💕🤦🏼‍♀️

@HopefulGlow holy guacamole 😂😂

So this morning the line is still there on an easy@home cheap test but still faint and the digital was negative. Af is due on Wednesday/Thursday so still a while to go. Im trying not to let myself get carried away because it’s so so early and that digital saying “not pregnant” doesn’t help! I’ll attached yesterday’s, I didn’t take a photo of this morning’s strip but it looks the same. Quality on here might mean you can’t even see them, they’re quite faint.

I’ve got a matching baby grow and T-shirt for him that I bought when i had the chemical last year that I’ve had hidden away, so I’ll have them and a test laid out whenever I tell him (this month or otherwise).

Haha that’s so funny, and I love that it’s making you both laugh too - we all need a bit of humour around this!! Xx

@Amy259 HOLY GUACAMOLE I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!! Eeeeeeek!! Please let us know tomorrow when you test again. I honestly felt so happy seeing this message and I have a huge smile on my face.

Please don’t worry about telling us, this is what we are here for! We are all hoping we get to see those 2 lines, so you seeing them gives us more hope ✨💕✨

I was seriously lying on the sofa tonight with this herbal cigar, circling my navel for 10 minutes. We couldn’t stop giggling haha so we better have a super baby now 😂 my OH is now on some concoction of herbal vitamins too!

Thanks @MagpieMary I might look at reflexology, that does seem cheaper than acupuncture 😂

@User1400 I was worried I would keel over and die after taking the herbal tablets….but so far so good 😂 it could all be hocus pocus but I will try it!!

So Amy!! How will you tell your OH?! That’s so exciting 💕

Baby dust to us all ✨💕✨

@User1400 no more tests, just the 3 I did at the same time. Two cheap strip tests and a FRER. I’ve got a digital to do in the morning but the lines are faint… I’ve also been here before, so I’m very wary. No, not told DH and will probably hold off until it’s darker and undeniable, if it’s even real. But I am freaking out and trying to hide it, but he asked earlier if I was okay so I’m clearly not that good at it 😂

Haven’t told anyone except you guys, and if it is real please know that I’m so conscious of everyone here and so aware of treading carefully, I just was in such a state of shock/panic earlier I had to tell someone. I’m really sorry if anyone reads it at a time they could do without it ♥️

I’m the same with the herbal stuff and never thought acupuncture would make me pregnant, but I find it so relaxing. And the woman who does mine is so clued up with ttc/ivf that the chats with her are like therapy! So mentally it helps me through haha.

That sounds like a busy day - I hope you’re getting some chill time tomorrow! Xx

OMG @Amy259! Have you tested again? Eeek I've got everything crossed for you 😍 have you told OH yet? I don't think I could keep it to myself hehe. 💕

@HopefulGlow ahh lovely, acupuncture is mega relaxing. Haha I'm so skeptical of all the herbal remedies but as long as brings positive vibes then it's all worth it ✨.

My weekends going ok girls! Been busy today seeing friends and have finally just sat down with a cuppa 💆🏻‍♀️xxx

Reflexology and acupuncture are great for fertility. I really recommend both.

@User1400 I think this must be cycle 15 or 16. Although it feels like cycle 400! 😂

I don’t think my BIL and his wife are trying yet, but I wouldn’t know for sure. They’re a bit younger than us but got married very young (before us) so they probably should get first dibs 😂 but they are the golden couple. My DH is the eldest and I think it would mean a lot to him to have the first grandchild too.

The dogs love water, especially the older one. They had a ball at the beach! How’s your Saturday going?

@HopefulGlow I love acupuncture! It makes me feel lighter too, and more relaxed. Glad you enjoyed it!! Stop it - I’m imagining you circling it over your belly like you’re saging yourself, that’s so funny. But hey, I’ll give anything a go!

Good luck with your fw! Of course you’ve got thrush coming on just in time for it, that’s really helpful, universe 😂 hopefully you’ve caught it early enough. How’s your Saturday been?

Your tww question… I’m about 9/10dpo (app says 9 but I think it was the night before) and I won’t lie… about 10 minutes ago I realised I hadn’t peed for ages, and temptation got the better of me. And I tested and girls there are two lines… I’m inwardly freaking out trying to hide it from DH but I’ve done 3 tests and there’s a faint second line in all of them. But I’ve been here before, with my chemical, so I can’t believe it could be real.

Happy Saturday ladies!

So sorry for my silence, I feel like I’ve missed a bunch! I’ve tried to read what everyone has put but I keep getting the damn ads in the way.

I think @Amy259 you said you’re mid TWW? How is it going?

@User1400 so sorry to hear of another announcement, sending you lots of big hugs and strength!

I’ve just had my first acupuncture session. I do actually feel lighter ☺️ She said my core felt cold so has given me some moxi, which is like a cigar shaped thing, to light and circle over my belly button, ovaries and womb area. My OH couldn’t stop laughing when I was telling him haha I also have 2 types of herbal tablets to try and I’m booked in again next week 😅

Just starting my fertile week, I’m due to ovulate weds but I’m pretty sure I got a little thrush yesterday 🤦🏼‍♀️ so I’ve been whacking some cream on and popped a pessary in just in case. Hopefully that will be okay 🤞🏼

Sorry if I’ve missed anyone out 💕

How’s everyone’s weekends going? ✨💕✨

Just realised I forgot to tag you @Amy259 xx

Good for you not testing so far! Remind me, which cycle are you on?

Ugh I know how you feel, I had a friend I was DREADING getting pregnant before me and of course, she did. It must be much harder dealing with those feelings when it's a family member, at least with a friend you can keep them somewhat at arms length. Has your BIL been TTC long?

In a twisted way, it's almost a weight off when those you have been dreading announce. Something you didn't think you would cope with, but here you are, still standing. Although, when I have found myself caught up in my panic station moments i think 'well as long as I am pregnant before they give birth, I'll be fine' and obviously it's never worked out that way, which hurts, then all of the emotions come flooding back when they give birth.

I try to remember back to the days when I was completely indifferent to pregnancy announcements, I was just happy for the couple and didn't think any further into it.. oh the memories! It never bothered me to think they would have kids before me, so it shouldn't bother me now that we're TTC.. but you still can't help but feeling cheated☹️.

Sounds lovely! Do your doggies love the water? Staying near a beach is so refreshing 🤗 xx

@User1400 I’m trying hard to keep myself from obsessing over how many DPO I am or thinking about twinges etc, and it’s going okay so far! I’m trying not to test either but we’ll see if I make it through 😂

Haha that’s true! I’m just really dreading my BIL and his wife and praying we get there first, which is so so awful I know but it goes a bit deeper than just TTC haha. But as long as we get there eventually I suppose!!

We’re heading to the beach in the morning with friends and the dogs which will be nice, then another quiet weekend for us I think. Have you got anything nice happening? Xx

@Amy259 Thank you, I needed that 😪. You're right, it is a step forward, it may not give me all the answers I'm hoping for but at least it's another hurdle out of the way.

Ah you're in the thick of the TWW! I don't know if it's worse being midway or the constant wipe watching closer to AF! Everything crossed she stays away for you 🤞🏻 💓

God that sucks you are the only couple on both sides😣. Having said that, I said to OH the other day, one positive I can take from all the annoumcents is that there's barely anyone left to tell me they are pregnant 😂. Not exactly how I envisioned things going when we started TTC but hey I'll take the positives where I can.

I've got a busy weekend ahead so it's a welcome distraction, do you have any nice plans? Xx

Sorry @User1400 wee busy spell at work!

Yeah I was the same with the HyCoSy but maybe try to think of it as another step forward? You need it done to progress, plus it does rule out (hopefully) one major thing in that you’ll know your tubes are clear. Plus some people say if you had mucus deposits in your tubes the flushing could increase the chance of sperm getting up there in the months that follow, so you never know! I wouldn’t pin your hopes on it giving you answers, but it’s a great step to get under your belt.

I’m 8/9dpo at the moment, af due on Wednesday or Thursday next week. So in the limbo stage!

Aww I’m so sorry, that’s such a tough thing to hear especially on a day when you’re already consumed by it all ♥️ Sending you lots of love and strength! Yeah it’s the same here, we’re definitely at that age and have been trying so long now that it’s not surprising loads of folk around us are starting their families - but it doesn’t make it any easier. We are the only married couple on either side of our friends now that aren’t pregnant/don’t have a baby, so it’s pretty tough. Hope you can fill your weekend with things to distract you for even a little while xxx

Hi again girlies, yet another friend announced she was pregnant this afternoon . I’m not going to do another big emotional post, even though I am feeling that same way.

My OH says maybe it just feels like there is more people getting pregnant because I’m hyper aware of it, but I don’t think it is.. barely any of my friends had children when we started TTC, and now they all do!

I feel like I cannot keep going round in circles with all of the emotions and feeling so down, but I can’t help it! I really wish I could snap out of it, especially when there is nothing we can do other than wait for treatment.

Another weekend full of mixed emotions ahead xx

@Amy259 Me too, I’m hoping we can all still get our BFPs before any intervention🤞🏻

I’m beginning to think I am putting to much weight on the HyCosy, as if it’s going to answer all of our questions and there will be a clear path at the other side of it. Unfortunately it seems like I do need to prepare myself for not getting any clarity at all.

Jeez, i thought it there was any kind of problem it sped you up for IVF, obviously not the case! I genuinely cannot even think about going on like this for another year before getting to the top of the list for help😭.

Where about in your cycle are you at the mo? I’m trying BBT for the first time but not sure how accurate I am doing as I’ve woken up at a different time every day 🤦🏻‍♀️ Xx

@User1400 yeah ICSI does seem to make more sense doesn’t it? I’m still hoping we won’t get to that stage mind you.

So there was an initial transvaginal scan, then the HyCoSy procedure, then I got dressed and sat with the consultant (I was on my own, DH couldn’t make it) and she talked me through her findings - which was pretty much nothing - and then said just keep going until the 2 year mark. But that was private, so I was never going to go for further treatment there anyway.

A girl on here who is having a break at the mo had it done with NHS in Aberdeen and she had loads of questions ready - how many follicles etc, and had them all answered. But her end chat was the same as mine as they didn’t find anything, so it’s basically just a “well your tubes are working, see ya at the 2 year mark”, there aren’t any next steps unfortunately, they just contact you at your 2 year stage to have the phone call about putting you on the ivf list. They tested her AMH too to check egg reserve but only tell results if you go for ivf because it changes your protocol, it doesn’t change anything when trying naturally or speed up the processes.

Another girl here discovered low egg reserve based on follicle count/AMH result and has another call in January about it and starting IVF, but it hasn’t made anything faster for her - apparently the only things that can speed it up or warrant alternative treatment faster would be two blocked tubes, no ovulation, or male-factor sperm issues xx

@Amy259 FFS - you need to ask?! You would think they would just email you your results by default. I don’t know what your GP is like but mines constantly send me letters to confirm appointments, why is that important but sending actual results isn’t important!

I am just listening to the rest of the BFN episode and the girl is talking about ICSI and how they inject the egg and I was thinking, why don’t they just do this instead of IVF?! The less you can leave up to chance the better, so that’s good Glasgow offers it to everyone , I’ll have to find out what Aberdeen offers.

When you had your HyCosy, was there some sort of debrief after it, to discuss next steps? That’s what I am imagining.. that me and my OH will be sat down and able to ask questions? Xx

P.s. remember your hycosy is with a gynaecologist, so she/he may not know much about andrology/men @User1400

@User1400 I would get your OH to call his GP and ask to be emailed through his SA results. You want to be able to know for sure everything is okay. I don’t think anyone is offered any results on paper, you need to ask - which is so silly. I mean it’s our body!! I only knew to ask because my acupuncturist specialises in ivf/fertility and she told me to ask.

Glasgow only do ICSI as they have more control over the first stage - the fertilisation stage is more successful because they can select the best sperm and inject straight into the egg, rather than just putting the eggs in a dish full of sperm and hoping one buries inside each egg. So it’s not that we (DH & I) will be offered that, it’s just the way Glasgow Royal run their clinic 🤷🏼‍♀️ Xx

@Amy259 We didn’t even get any paper results! Which I didn’t think was a big deal at the time as my OH called the GP and they confirmed all was fine (albeit they did not offer any further explanation), then the fertility Dr delved a little deeper and confirmed everything was great other than morphology being a little low and it not being anything to worry about.

Now I am Googling seeing everyone with their detailed paper results, concerned about morphology and I’m thinking, why haven’t I been worrying about this sooner, and why weren’t we offered a detailed break down instead of just ‘you're fine’ 😵.

I shall bring it up at my HyCosy appointment and see what they think. I’m not even going to bother telling my OH as I know he will just tell me to trust the fertility Dr.. god, every day there is something new to worry about .

How come you will be offered ICSI instead of IVF? Xx

@User1400 if your doctor told you it’s not too important, surely they wouldn’t have said that if it’s not true??

In all honestly I’m the same as you though, I would think that’s too low? Just because everything I’ve read does say normal is 4% or more. I just checked DH’s sperm results (he got the document sent through from the doctor) and the low number of the reference range is noted on it as

@Amy259 haha, whatever puts your mind at ease 💆🏻‍♀️, knowledge is power they say! I’m a bit of the opposite, have to put a ban on Dr.Google or I just end up freaking myself out!

Have you read anything on sperm morphology? My OH morphology was at 1% (normal is 3%), our fertility dr did not seem concerned about it.. she said it’s unclear whether morphology effects fertility and they are actually in the process of changing the ‘normal’ percentage from 3% to 2%. So anyway, I haven’t really thought about it since.. until now, I am listening to the BFN podcast and one of the girls said her DH morphology is at 1% which puts their chances of natural conception through the floor.. I am now steadily freaking out! I haven’t listened to the rest of the ep yet as I jumped on Google panicking haha. I am inclined to trust the fertility Dr but then I am finding articles that say it does make it hard to conceive naturally.. arghhhhh.

How is everyone’s Friday? @HopefulGlow @AZ1992X @LA9610