Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

@suzy124 Its so hard not to fell so gutted when AF comes, mixed with the hormones that it brings, its not a nice time! I'm so sorry to hear you had an argument with your OH, I hope you are friends today. As hard as they try, I don't think they can fully understand, as its not their bodies.

I got a video to watch, so the HyCosy has to be after your period. They do a pregnancy test beforehand, and you aren't to have sex before. It doesn't say about after, so hopefully thats ok to not have to miss a whole month! That's good you've had a letter though and know you are on the list! Any update about your OH's SA?

Ah 14 days is bang on then, i think it varying, the same as cycle length is ok, but not harm in mentioning to the Dr for some peace of mind.

@fingerscrossed91 how are you today? xx

Thank you both. Definitely in self-pity mode right now and already an argument with OH 🤦‍♀️ just wish he would be more supportive at times like this, but I just get told that there's no point in being sad

@HJen22 when in your cycle is it safe to have the hycosy? I'm guessing just not on your period and that they might suggest no bd that month? No word on my laparoscopy yet, got a letter last week to say I was on the list. I know I'll be very nervous when the time comes

Re luteal phase 11days is fine according to premom, just anything under that is considered short. Looking at my charts it's been between 11 and 16 😕 but more often around the 14day mark. Eeeeeep maybe something I need to mention to doctor

@fingerscrossed91 sorry it was a bfn today. It's so heartbreaking staring at the tests wishing for a line to appear and wondering when our time will be. I'm glad you were able to get out in the sun though to boost your mood. Also well done for arranging things with the gp, I found when I took those first steps it helped a little with the feeling of utter helplessness. Are they going to arrange a SA also or wait until your bloods come back first?

@fingerscrossed91 I'm sorry it was a BFN 😔 I'm sure I'm out this month too, it's just a matter of time.

I'm glad you are taking some time for you and enjoying the sun in the garden, the sun always cheers me up a little ☀️ that's great you've got bloods organised, how was the Dr? I hope nice and helpful!

I'm doing ok, just awaiting AF really and trying not to think about it! How are you feeling? X

@suzy124 I'm so sorry AF has arrived :( i really hope that you are ok, take time to yourself and do whatever you can to feel better, sending lots of hugs. I tend to think I'm when AF arrives, then it hits me a few days later. That probably confuses my OH too! I don't think I'm far behind you with mine arriving!

Thats good that they are checking though and that can be a worry off of your mind! Yeah I am waiting for my appointment for internal scan and HyCosy which are on the same day/time. They only do HyCosy apps once a week so it will be August, or later than I am there. I called to ask and they asked when AF was due that month, so hopefully now I have given them rough dates they will fit in the app and it won't be at a time my cycle doesn't allow, as that would then cause a delay! Do you know when you should get your laproscopy?

Yeah I get too hung up on temp drops and things if I continue after ovulation! I think a luteal phase anything over 12 days is normal, I had 11 days once on my app and it said it was too short. Mine has varied in the past too, I know, there is always something isnt there! Yeah I may either do OPKs or just none again, and do every 2nd day as well.

Wow that is hot! It's only 13 here haha! Are you WFH at the moment? I am, but my work have said about a phased return August. In one way I want to go back but in another, id like some flexibility! I keep trying to think "it might not be for long" if i get my BFP! xx

@HJen22 Well since I wrote that last message the witch has arrived for me, 2 days early. Guessing I might have to repeat the progesterone blood test now. Onto another cycle..

I'm sure everything will be fine with you. But it's definitely better to know just in case so that something can be done if needs be. I know it's impossible not to worry though. I convinced myself at the start of the year with endless googling that I have endo, I'm on the waiting list for a laproscopy although now I don't think it's likely I do have it 🤷‍♀️ but going ahead with it anyway as they also said they would check that my tubes were open. I'd had an internal scan in Jan and nothing unusual was picked up. Your next step is a hycosy?

I love confirming ovulation too. Some months I do opks and then bbt all cycle long. Others I've been doing opks but just bbt for the FW so I know when to stop. But since AF is early I'm wondering if I got it wrong this month. It's not possible to ovulate before a positive opk is it? Otherwise my luteal phase is varying slightly - another thing to worry about haha! I actually think this month I'm gonna ditch both and just do it every other day from day 10 to 18 or something.

Yup, 22degrees atm and getting hotter x

@suzy124 Hopefully when he calls they can advise him what's going on! I know, everything is just such a wait! My OH was anxious about his results, he has a daughter (albeit she is 12 so was a long time ago!) so i was sure they'd be fine! It was a bit bitter sweet, happy for him all good but then even more worried its me that has an issue!

Nope, neither the GP or Dr seemed too concerned about it, although the Dr did question about whether I thought they were getting shorter, and some months they are, and also my period last month was only really a day long, which is unusual. I think the Dr was careful not to cause me any worry, but I do that anyway!!

Yeah when i was doing temping I was waking up and just doing it, then realising it was super early! But I know you've got to have had a certain amount of sleep before it so I couldn't go back to sleep then do it! What a stress haha! I think i like the "confirmation" of ovulation with the OPKs and BBT and my app, but its not gotten me anywhere so far, so i like to take a break and just do none some months. Do you do both every month?

Ooh lovely, bet its roasting down there! xx

@HJen22 he doesn't remember much about the appointment but definitely didn't get told to arrange it ourselves. Our nearest hospital has a fertility dept so I'm assuming we're waiting for a letter from them. Hopefully after his phone calls today we'll have some idea! I'm so desperate for it to happen so we can move on to the next stage but also really worried about what the results might be..

Did your GP say anything about your cycle length? I think as long as the LP isn't too short you're good. Yeah temping isn't easy, I've been waking up so early some days and just do it then rather than my usual time. I'm sure it's not accurate but still shows the general trend. I'm a bit worried that my temps have come way down so early this cycle, 4 days before AF. Or maybe she'll surprise me before Thursday

Glad you had a nice weekend. I'm originally from N.Ireland so I can relate with the crappy weather 😂 Now Hampshire based but sometimes it's too hot for me here! X

I think my story might give others hope...

I had a baby 3 years ago so didn’t think there was anything wrong fertility wise, but I’ve now been TTC number 2 since September with no luck. I thought something must have gone wrong in the time since baby 1 but had bloods and scans yesterday and there’s absolutely nothing wrong.

It just sometimes takes ages, and just because you’re not pregnant after 12 months doesn’t mean you never will be.

Do go to the DR. There might be something,
Might be nothing. Some people get clomid after years of TTC and conceive in month 1 of taking it.

Good luck!

@suzy124 ah I see! Hopefully he can change to the same one as you! Or even just call the local fertility clinic and advise the GP had said to make an appointment. The GP only gave us the pot and the form and the form had the telephone number on, which OH then called and that's how his SA was arranged.

Yeah it's good in that ovulation comes round quick as it tends to be around day 10/11/12 but I worry it's on the short side. When I first came off the pill the first two cycles were 30 days but haven't been since! I think next month I'll use my clear blue OPKs again as I have left over, see if I can be bothered with temp! Sometimes i wake up at different times so not sure how accurate my readings are!

I know what you mean, I've done yoga before in the past and then didn't keep it up, it was just a short 20minute one I did yesterday. I did one last week that was on the clinics Facebook, it was a 6 week programme on zoom but I only noticed and just this week left I think! But was good to do and I'll keep a lookout for anything else coming up!

It was so nice, we were out for lunch the Saturday and Sunday I met a friend and her kids. I'm up in Scotland so it was roasting for us being so north haha!

I hope you had a nice relaxing G&T. I know what you mean, I'm doing all I can to chill but I know AF is just around the corner! Xx

@HJen22 thing is he's actually registered at a different GP surgery than me, so my hands are tied atm. I wanted him to move to my GP for obvious reasons and he's enquiring tomorrow so fingers crossed he actually will! Oh men are the worst aren't they when it comes to getting things done, I honestly don't know how we put up with it 😂

My cycles are between 27-30 days as my ovulation day tends to vary slightly. Last two cycles were 30 days and expecting this one to be also. A 25 day cycle sounds amazing, less time to wait before trying again!😄

Sorry to hear your acupuncture was put off a week but it will be here before you know it. I was also doing fertility yoga on youtube up until recently because I actually thought it was making me more anxious! - like just another thing I was doing and it wasn't working. I might pick it up again at some point though.

Yeah the weekend was gorgeous wasn't it? I spent all day yesterday in Kew gardens which was lush. Did you get up to anything nice?

@fingerscrossed91 glad you had a nice distracting weekend with family but sorry to hear about the bfn. As Jen says you're not out yet though, implantation can happen as late as 12dpo! When are you due on?

Keeping my fingers crossed for you both. Since I'm out I'm sat having a G&T, my first drink since Christmas!! Felt sort of OK this morning but gradually got more anxious and annoyed throughout the day after seeing my temp this morning. Just don't know what it takes to make a baby 😐 x

@fingerscrossed91 I'm glad to hear it 🥰 spending time with family and friends helps doesn't it. I said to my mum recently it's been harder because of Covid and having nothing else to do or think about.

Aw I'm sorry, but still not out until AF arrives, when is it due?

Things are ok with me thank you, I was a bit down in the dumps Saturday but I've done my meditation app the last two mornings first thing and think that's helped me stay a bit more positive. Don't think this is the month for me either though! Haven't tested, I'll just wait for AF.

Ah did you, did you have a few sessions? Yeah I like to feel like I'm doing something to de-stress, I've felt really anxious recently so I'm hoping it helps! Something to look forward to next week! Xx

@suzy124 yeah I was confused as our GP had my OH pick up the test pot but then the leaflet that came with it said about an appointment. So yeah it was with our local fertility clinic as it had to be with them within 30mins, he called and made an appointment to use one of their rooms. If you're local though you could just make an appointment to drop off. Was a bit back to front cos then the GP had to call with the results rather than the clinic. And we're now being seen by the clinic and out of the GPs hands 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm sure you could call and ask just to query if he doesn't what to? I know what it's like trying to get men to do things 😂 on my GP call I just shoved him on to speak to her too!

I'm also 12dpo and due Thursday! That's with a 25 day cycle which is pretty standard for me! How long are yours normally? I was meant to have acupuncture today but it's been rescheduled to next Monday; I was looking forward to it too. Did a little fertility yoga on YouTube instead. It was a lovely weekend here, hope yours was good too!

@fingerscrossed91 how are you? I hope you had a nice weekend with the in-laws x

@SBeeches that's interesting, I'll need to take a look. I like meditation; I think if I do it first thing before getting out of bed I'm in a more positive mood. I'm doing a relationship with self series on Calm app just now and I like it!

Thanks @HJen22 good to know. I'm trying to get OH to chase up but that's not so easy. He doesn't even remember what the doctor said to him about where it would be or wait times 🤦‍♀️ I'm assuming it will be done at our local hospital? I didn't think that kind of thing was done at the GP as surely it still has to go elsewhere for lab analysis?

I know doctors hate it when we google right but I think it's important to take charge sometimes! Think I will try to get phone app with mine later in the week to discuss bloods and if we can get help. I'm currently 12dpo, so I think we are cycle buddies! I'm out this month though as have been temping and it dropped yesterday to below coverline and stayed low this morning. Pretty early though as AF due on Thurs. Already starting to cramp! When are you due on?

Hope you ladies were able to have a nice weekend in the sunshine x

I have felt so much better and in control of my feelings over the last couple of months and that's because I started the ball rolling with fertility checks (due to have hycosy in July) and I read an amazing book that really moved me called "Wherever you go, there you are" by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It's not wishy washy, very easy to read and it really helped me accept my situation and feel my emotions without judging myself and others. Maybe it might help you too. That is not to say you won't experience times you feel sad, that is a valid feeling given what we've been through, I still feel that especially on day one, but I've just learnt not to run away with that feeling, not wish my life away right now and that's really changed my life.

@suzy124 it's so hard isn't it! I didn't even have a period as I was on the mini pill so I think the hormones are effecting me even more so! Yeah ovulation is a time of such hope isn't it! How many dpo are you now? I'm about 10 I think but didn't confirm ovulation with anything this month.

For the SA, I called in February and the GP spoke to us both for the first initial call, he then had the appointment 17th March and got the results 22nd April. They were back in 3 weeks to the GP but he then had to wait 2 weeks for a telephone appointment to discuss them!

I know I had hoped for day21 bloods, I maybe should have asked! I wrote down so many questions too, which she answered before I asked, and it was a bit overwhelming with all the questions, especially for me! I also didn't want to make it any more obvious I had been Googling haha she knew I had been 😂 are your partners SA being done at the local GP or fertility clinic?

@HJen22 yeah it's horrible having your life revolve around a cycle now, before I never gave it any thought and felt like I was always on my period. Now the waiting is agony. The one time of the month I am sort of ok is around ovulation. After that and during period I'm a mess as just feel so helpless

Glad to hear your bloods and the SA came back all ok. Interesting they didn't do day 21, I did both this month although have pretty regular cycles. Laughing at the eye roll comment, I would have cringed! Can I ask how long did it take to get the SA appointment? We've been waiting almost a month now.

@fingerscrossed91 well done for not testing! I amen't really sure how i've managed to not test all the time, I think a few negatives early on has just made me dread seeing BFN every month. I hope you are feeling better today and that will be nice to see the in laws this weekend! I sometimes think through the week is the hardest, lots of time to think (and im still WFH so no one to chat to really other than my OH) weekends are nice and busy! Hopefully the sun will stay out! And a garden wine xx

@suzy124 I am the exact same and spend probably around 2-3 weeks miserable, the week before AF and then the week of AF, then its all positive mental attitude, then dread and doubt the lead up to AF! Such a horrible cycle and a bit stuck in a rut, i really wish i could just not think about it! Yeah i know, we need the support, sometimes its easier to talk to women than our own partners!!

I will let you know how it goes! Its just a local clinic and i haven't said what for when i booked but i'm hoping that they will be able to offer me something specific! I did wonder about doing it, i feel like i have spent a lot of money too!

Yeah i had my 2 day bloods done in March, my partner had his SA done and all came back fine. Well i was told that until the Dr on our fertility call said my FSH level was slightly high, which panicked me! She didn't seem overly worried, but that didn't stop me googling! His results came back good, he got a "well done" from the Dr (eye roll). I haven't had the 21day bloods, the Dr seemed to think i was ovulating as my cycle is regular, although it is on the short side, around 25/26 days and my periods seem to have gotten lighter, last months it was only really a day long! I hope you get your results back soon! And your partners SA booked in.

Yeah i have no idea whats going on, some months i do opks, some months BBT, some months both, last month none. I am a bit like whats the point when we are DTD when it says to, its confirming ovulation yet not happening! We DTD 5 days in a row in FW last month so i was really hopeful. The fact it didnt work has made me even less confident. But just need to keep trying! And hope it happens before the joys of internal scans and HyCosy!!

@HJen22 omg I'm super sensitive too! We fall out almost on a daily basis now, I'm having meltdowns all the time. I know it can't be nice to live with, but still, I need support. He just doesn't wanna talk about it at all anymore but for me it's all I can think about.

Never tried acupuncture but heard good things. Let us know how it goes. I would love to try it but I just can't justify the cost atm as I'm also having therapy. Are you seeing one that specialises in fertility?

To be honest I am itching to try IVF or even IUI. At least then I would know there was an embryo or sperm definitely in the uterus. As it is I feel like his sperm aren't even making their way through my cervix. Are you having your investigations done with NHS? Have you had basic bloods and SA yet?

@fingerscrossed91 I'm 9dpo, still too early I know. I tested expecting not to see anything but was still trying so hard to see a line. Don't know if i'll test anymore this month, probably just wait for AF and face the devastation as usual

Well done for not testing this morning. You've got this

This struck so many cords with me I’m not TTC anymore (although I like to lurk on the board) but it took 14 months to conceive DD1 and I remember that 12th month like it was yesterday…hitting the year mark and genuinely believing it would never happen for me. I know it’s easy for me to come on here and say ah I got my happy ending but sometimes you gets months of BFNs and one day…it just happens.

I was in the middle of preliminary tests when I finally got my BFP and OH was about to have his SA done so it really can happen when you least expect it. Thinking of you and so sorry about the bridesmaids situation - you are doing incredibly well and being so strong even though it might feel like you’re not xxx