Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

@suzy124 I had a nice weekend thanks! The weather wasn't so good here! Saturday we drove inland and took the puppy to the river which was nice and then yesterday I seen my family! Monday again! And the weather is looking terrible here all week! A forest walk is always nice, fresh air helps for sure!

Don't worry, I am the same. It's hard not to have a gut wrenching feeling; I feel it all the time. I came off Social media to try and lessen it a little, I'm back on a bit but I limit the use. I feel myself pulling away from certain people too who say annoying things! I've read so so many people on here who feel down and sad and can't seem to get away from babies and pregnancies, we definitely aren't the only ones who feel it.

Aw you never know, how long are your cycles normally? I had a 35 day cycle once. And the range of a normal LP is quite big, something like 11-17 days I think.

I'm doing ok, trying to just not spend every minute of the day thinking about TTC! Meditation and yoga helps to a certain extent. I just need to keep it up! And try and beat the sad feelings when they come before they last days. I'm quite bad for that, get down and then just can't seem to perk up again.

Yeah it says to take ibuprofen and paracetamol I think it is beforehand! I've read some stories on here and it doesn't sound too bad so fingers crossed 🤞🏻 xxx

@HJen22 Hey! Hope you had a nice weekend? I just did a lot of housework and yesterday we went for a nice forest walk (in the rain no less).

Thanks for your positivity. I've been feeling mostly ok, but as soon as I see anyone with their babies/pushing prams I start having a wobble. Like my mood just changes instantly and get that gut wrenching feeling 😥 Anyway, I'm counting myself out this month as I think I finally ovulated yesterday (cd20) so my LP will be too short. How many dpo are you now? How's the yoga and meditation going?

That sounds really lovely, but also a shame his daughter can't come. Something more to look forward to after though!

Ah of course, sorry I was just thinking about the scan part so didn't enter my mind there would be a speculum! Have they advised you to do anything before, like take paracetamol? xx

Good morning and happy Monday ladies, I hope you all had a nice weekend? Did anyone do anything exciting?

@suzy124 That's great your OH has the choice and can decide on the day which he is most comfortable with! Hopefully it is a stress free as can be.

Ah that's lovely and very hopeful that some of the ladies on another chat have had success and their BFP's, I am sure your time is coming soon! I know, I am the same, I am like every month (give or take one or two) we have DTD over the fertile window and it's not worked. But we just need to keep trying and it will :)

The family trip is my Mum, Dad, Sister, Brother in Law, two nephews and myself and my OH. We had hoped his daughter could come but it's not worked out fitting in as she is away with her Mum the week after and she's down in England, so we will just have her up afterwards. Pup is coming too so be parks, walks, swimming etc!

I think the HyCosy involves a speculum unfortuantley! As the insert a cathetar and inject some sort of fluid or foam or something in to check the tubes aren't blocked. Sure on the video they sent me it says foam but on the leaflet i got in the post it says fluid. Says a vaginal examination like a smear, followed by an internal scan and then fulid passed into the womb which can be seen on the scan machine. Hopefully it will be over before I know it and not be painful!!

@Lynne425 that sounds so awful, i am so sorry to hear you went through that. I hope there was no sign of AF for you over the weekend...

@fingerscrossed91 how are you doing? xxx

@HJen22 thanks, yeah I'm relieved it's booked in. He's opted to do it at the clinic, but I've told him he can change his mind and I'll drive the sample if needed. I just think it'll be so much pressure in that kind of environment instead of at home but we'll see!

Oh don't worry, it's still dtd of sorts 😂 I'm feeling more hopeful after two ladies just got their BFP on an insemination thread I'm on, but at the same time wondering why it hasn't worked for me yet! Yep once is all it takes, though I find I'm always torn between too much and not enough. Trying my best to just trust the NHS advice of every other day, we did it last night and I'm trying to resist not doing it tonight as well but still having ewcm

Yeah glad to have my flight booked but can't say I have much planned before then 😕 Need to look at what's happening nearby. What about you? Is all of your family going on the July trip?

I had an internal scan in January to check for ovarian cysts. It was maybe 10mins max? Also just a tiny bit of pressure but I didn't find it uncomfortable at all. I'd rather have that than a speculum any day! And as I mentioned couldn't see the screen at all so hopefully it will be the same for you 😊 xx

@Lynne425 ooh that sounds terrible! I didn't even know that could happen! Do you mind me asking how many weeks you were?

Great news about AF, keep positive! I'd encourage you not to test but if you're a poas addict I know that'll be hard.

Not much planned for my weekend, heavy rain due both days for me 😭 might see what's on at the cinema. Hope you have something nice to distract, where are you based?xx

Thank you @HJen22 @suzy124 @fingerscrossed91

It was a blighted ovum I had (basically the sac grew but no fetus) therefore I managed to mentally get over it a lot quicker than I thought it was. However it was still quite a blow when I thought everything was 'ok'.

Well AF hasn't arrived today (yet!) so might continue testing each morning until it does! I've bought a pack of IC tests so plenty there to test with!

As you say I'll try to keep positive until AF shows!!

Hope everyone has something fabulous planned for the weekend xxx

@suzy124 that's great news! Not too long a wait! And that's good they've a 75min window! That will hopefully make it easier and feel like less pressure!

Yeah I was glad to see both apps said the same! I often have months when its early, but then last month when i didnt track it put it to day 14!

Of course, sorry i mean inseminate. I know, we did it 5 days of the 7 in a row one month and still had no luck, but it only takes once doesn't it! We just need to keep trying and remain positive!

It's nice to have something to look forward to isn't it! Much else on between now and then?

Yeah when i was younger i used to, but since we moved out of the city centre its gotten less, and the fact I'm older and a light weight haha! And also I like to spend my weekends seeing my nephews which always tends to be early! Haha I know, HOW do those people get pregnant! Such a minefield, you are right, best to have when we want and not to think too much about it, but I am also looking forward to a nice chilled weekend after being rough last sunday!

Oh have you had an internal scan? I hope it is over quickly! I have had quite a few smears and a colposcopy not all that long ago to check cells, im fine for most of it but i did come over a bit faint near the end last time haha such a drama queen!

xxx

@HJen22 😊 He's just texted me to say he's booked in for the 19th. They said it should be done at home and brought to them, that there's a 75min window (I didn't think it was that long?!) but he's asked to do it there instead.

Oh that's good that everything matched up, it's very satisfying when that happens. Sounds like you've got it well and truly covered this month! Hoping the 2ww goes quickly for you and the yoga continues to help. It definitely will happen, unfortunately it's just a waiting game for so many of us. Yep just inseminating every other day this month, so many months we've done it every day during fw and it hasn't made a blind bit of difference!

Yeah I'm actually starting to feel a bit of excitement about the trip. I'm sure there will be plenty of rain though! That sounds great, there must be some really nice walks there! Hope the weather is good for you too.

I'm the same I never drank much anyway, but it's all too easy to feel guilty about wanting something like that and then convincing ourselves that's the reason we didn't get pregnant! But just remember that actual crackheads get pregnant, I remind myself of that when I feel I'm being too hard on myself. And if something like the odd glass of wine will make you feel good and relaxed, it's probably going to be better for your chances rather than feeling miserable that you're having to deny yourself these things. Like you said you still have to live a life but I also understand wanting to do everything possible we think will help. It's a minefield!

Oh that's fantastic news about the hycosy! You must be relieved. And that's just men isn't it?! I'm sure it wasn't intentional, they are just terrible with things like this and would do anything not to talk about uteruses and fallopian tubes and the like 😂 Also try not to think too much about the scan being triggering, when I had mine I couldn't even see the screen and it was over very quickly xx

@fingerscrossed91 I think sometimes it's better not to know when you're due on although you always sort of have an idea don't you. Will you try not to test this month?

I'm getting on ok thanks, probably the calmest month I've had in a long time though that can quickly change can't it! I think keeping busy with other things is key, so difficult though.

Good luck with acupuncture, another thing to look forward to! 😊xx

@fingerscrossed91 yeah I am so glad he can come with me, not so sure he was thrilled about the thought haha but I let it slide as I am sure he didn't mean it like that. I'm like, I don't want to be doing this either. Sad cos the scan you expect is when you get a BFP and seeing the baby for the first time, not an internal scan to find out what is going on! But that;'s just the way things have worked out I guess!

Sometimes you just need a month of no testing don't you, I have probably done about half and half, some months nothing, some just OPKs and some with BBT but others I just haven't. It's nice to take away the pressure.

That's something to look forward to then, I hope you enjoy it! How have your friends been since your meal? And I hope you had a nice time at the wedding, how lovely! xx

Oh and good news, my OH is able to come to my HyCosy. I called and asked yesterday! I am guessing perhaps just for the results and not in with me for the procedures ha! I am glad though as if it's bad news I would be heartbroken and alone. Fingers crossed it will all be fine though. xx

@fingerscrossed91 Glad you're feeling a bit better. I hope not tracking ovulation is helpful for you this month, I have found not peeing on opks quite nice! The spotting may have been ovulation, you never know. Apps can be very inaccurate at predicting so hope you're dtd every other day to cover your bases!

A weekend away sounds lovely! Where you off to?xx

@Lynne425 welcome! Of course you can join! I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I can't even begin to imagine how that hard that must have been for you. Yeah you aren't out til AF arrives, I have everything crossed for you!!

@suzy124 thats great news, has he managed to get one booked in? Glad to hear things are progressing for you!!

Both apps are actually matching up with OPKs and i had my 3rd day of high temp so Ovulation was confirmed as Cycle day 10 on Tuesday, and we DTD Saturday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Now just to remain calm and positive, I am doing lots of yoga and meditation to relax. Yeah 17 cycles feels like forever, but I am trying to keep in mind, it will happen. Oh I'm sure your ovulation will come soon, are you just trying to DTD every two days?

Aw that sounds like a lovely time away, I am sure all your friends and family are so looking forward to seeing you! And hopefully you get some nice weather! We go last week of July, we've booked a farm play thing for one of the days, we'll get swimming booked at the lodge, walks etc, with small kids and the dog it will be hectic but fun!

This weekend just some walks, see my nephews and there's an outdoor market nearby we want to go to. No alcohol this weekend. When we first started TTC I barely ever drank, and if I did, not much, especially not in the TWW but so many people do and don't even know they are pregnant. And as time has went on, I have to still live but still don't have all that much really. But this month I want to have none in the TWW and maybe this month will be the month.

@fingerscrossed91 i'm so sorry you are having a tough time :( I hope you have some nice weekend plans as a distraction? And did you get your acupuncture? I don't tend to get any spotting in the second half of my cycle, but i sometimes do a few days after AF. Maybe you are ovulating earlier than you expected? xxx

@HJen22 that's understandable, I think my OH is probably more anxious about it than he's letting on but I am definitely more nervous than him! Good news though, the clinic texted him this morning to make his appointment so another small win 👍

How did things go with CB and opks? Hope the app is matching things up nicely. My ovulation appears to be late this month. Even though I haven't used opks I started off temping this cycle so just carried on, temp is still low and I'm cd18 so not sure what's going on.

Ah I understand, well August isn't far away now so hopefully they'll tell you he can come for support! And wow cycle 17, you are definitely due your BFP very soon!!

Re going home it will be for at least 2 weeks. I haven't booked a flight to come back yet haha! Going to go for lots of beach walks, get my hair done (yes I still get that done at home!), spend time with my niece and nephew, see friends and do some nice things with my mum. My OH will be coming but for maybe just a week, my parents haven't seen him for a year and a half. When is your week away this month and what kind of things have you got planned?

Haha I can relate, I've always been a total lightweight! That sounds nice though although I'm sure it's also a bit difficult to attend things like that atm. Nothing planned for this weekend yet, says it's gonna pour down again so probably alot of time indoors! How about you?xx

@fingerscrossed91 Aw I'm so sorry you're struggling lots this month, this is such a tough journey and it's ok to cry about it. I have had months where I've cried at least once every single day! Just remember that this will all be a distant memory someday.

I've actually never had spotting as far as I can remember, is this a new thing for you this month? Are you testing for ovulation?xx

@Lynne425 Welcome! I'm so sorry about your miscarriage, it must have been absolutely heartbreaking.

Remember you're not out till AF shows. Do you temp as well?

It's so tough in the 2ww as we notice every twinge and flutter but I find it's best not to read too much into them as there really is no way to tell! Fingers crossed that the witch keeps away for you!xx

Hey All

Mind if I join?!

Background story - been TTC for a year now!!

Has an early miscarriage in January (was a complicated mess) and started TTC again in April

Tested this morning with IC at 13dpo and BFN 😔 so guessing im out again this month with AF due tomorrow/Saturday!!

Honestly thought it was my month as I felt nauseous around 6dpo, been exhausted and had fluttering feeling in my lower abdomen!!

Fingers crossed for everyone else 🤞🏻 xx

Yeah my OH had to go in and book a room at the clinic as we weren't city centre! And then they had it straight to the lab there! Perhaps ask them again, is he now waiting for them to call back with an appointment? My OH wasn't looking forward to it at all and was anxious about the results but it all came back Ok, hopefully your OH's does too!!

Yeah I just wasnt sure with CB at all, but after having 2 high results yesterday it updated the first one yesterday to Peak as well, so i will see what it says today at 12! All very confusing! But I also haven't had a temperature dip or rise, so who knows if the app will then update and push the day of ovulation forward?! Just need to keep trying to DTD the next few days as much as we can to cover all bases i guess! That is easier said than done sometimes though!

I'm just not too sure as its a standard leaflet thing that they will give out, but the actual letter that talks all about covid and rules doesn't say anything about someone coming so I will need to ask! Yeah it may do some good to have a month break again, this is cycle 17 :( so by the time of HyCosy it will be 18! I hope we do get our BFPs before then!

That will be great to head home though, how long will you be there for? Lots of fun things planned?

We had a bbq at my friends for her little boys birthday, which was nice, and other than that, Sunday I was dying bizarrely, I hardly had any drinks Saturday, ate plenty and went to bed not late but I felt horrendously hungover on Sunday so that wasn't fun at all! I think I because i hardly ever drink now, sometimes when i do i just don't take to it very well! Much on this weekend? xxx

Yeah it feels so slow for sure! He was told on the phone that it's done at home and we bring the sample to them, but we're like an hour away from the clinic so somehow I don't think that's gonna work! At the same time I do worry a bit that he might not be able to perform at the clinic, it would be so much pressure in that environment. We'll see what happens! He hasn't said how he feels about it, he's not one to worry but there's bound to be some anxiety about it. How was your OH with it all?

I know what you mean about clearblue, I've only used them the past two months but I was making sure to do cheapies as well to make sure it was accurate. I find that I get my static smiley, then the opk peaks the next day and ovulation the following day. So it's nice it gives me more warning, but obvs hasn't helped yet even with perfect timing 😂 Are your premom strips getting darker too? I'm currently cd14 (I think!)

Aw I hope your partner can come to the hycosy! It's not nice to go through these things alone. I'm sure it will be ok if the letter said so. And I know it seems like missing a month is the worst thing ever but i's just one try at the end of the day and perhaps a break would even do some good? With me heading home in August it's likely I'll miss ovulation too so we can be out together! Hopefully we get our BFPs before then anyway!

Nothing exciting happening for me this week either, just trying to keep busy with other things really. Glad you had some sun at the weekend, did you do anything nice? We were pretty lazy 😐 xx

Happy Monday ladies! Oh thats a shame it rained loads! It was quite nice up here and sunny again today! Did you have a good weekend minus the rain?

Oh that's great news that the ball seems to be rolling now for the SA. It can all just seem so slow can't it, but that's progress and hopefully once he is registered he can then get an appointment made! How is he feeling about it all?

I hope you are feeling better @fingerscrossed91 and had a nice weekend too! And are feeling more positive! Yeah totally agree with what @suzy124 says, it will all be worth it in the end, and we need to not be too hard on ourselves when we have bad days!

Well done for not peeing on any sticks this month! I have done the opposite after not tracking last month and my period being "late" a few days. I used the Clear Blue OPK and the Premom sticks, as i was a bit worried the CB was wrong in previous months. Depending on my temp, i think ovulation might be tomorrow or the next as I got Peak on CB today! But like you say, just going to do it every other day as its likely the day will change so no point trying to pin point and then be disappointed if we didnt on the best days like predicted. Such a minefield! Today is Cycle Day 9, what day are you?

I got a letter through about HyCosy today, im not sure if my OH can come or not, its a standard info sheet and says partners should where they can, but what with covid im unsure. I have a consultation call the day before so i suppose i can ask then! August will probably end up being out for us with that booked, as now my ovulation is looking earlier on than it predicated, it might be after ovulation i get it done. But who knows, the apps jump about all the time! I really wont know until AF comes in August, but i guess i just need to be prepared that August will likely be out for TTC.

Do you have anything exciting on this week? My week is looking quiet. @fingerscrossed91 when do you have your acupunture? Look forward to hearing about it after my failed attempt!!

xxx

Hope you had a nice weekend ladies, it rained pretty much all the time here. Think I'm ovulating in the next day or so although haven't pee'd on a single stick so far. Just feeling like I couldn't be bothered obsessing this month and every other day will suffice. OH finally got through to his GP last week who referred him again for the SA, then the fertility clinic e-mailed him the next day with some kind of registration thing. No appointment yet, but relieved that they've made contact at least.

@fingerscrossed91 aw hun sorry you've been having a tough few days, how are you feeling now, any more positive? The meltdowns are inevitable in such a journey like this, we just have to let them come and go and know that in the end all of this pain will have been so worth it.

I don't know much about clomid, just that I was speaking to someone on here whose cycles were 35ish days and she hadn't had any bloods yet. The doctor put her on clomid to shorten them, it lengthened the first one (apparently that's a common side effect) but the 2nd one was normal and she fell pregnant that cycle. Definitely speak to your doc about it after your next bloods, 38 days is such a long time to wait and as you say you're not getting as many chances in the year.

I'm glad the dinner went ok, but yes I would have wanted to do the same in your position!! And don't worry about what your OH said, I know when people say that it's super frustrating because it really doesn't help and just adds to the stress. Just know that it will happen and you're not doing anything wrong!

@HJen22 that just seems crazy tho that it's advised to get checked out after a year of trying but they won't do anything until after two if unexplained? It's such a long time and meanwhile we're not getting any younger!

Yeah I like the femometer interface the best but I don't know why it doesn't take into account the OPKs? Like last month I had a temp dip at cd13 and it put that as ovulation, even though my positive opk was on cd15. Hope you get on well with premom, I don't like the way it looks but for me it's way more accurate, as is fertility friend.

Well didn't buy conceive plus in the end, thinking I'll give it a go next cycle if this one doesn't work. We probably won't be able to try in August so thinking I'd throw everything at the next one before then😂 It's impossible to know what' really worked for people though, who's to say it wasn't their lucky month anyway!

Good news about your hycosy, and fingers crossed it won't impact ttc that month! Where are you in your cycle now?

xx

@suzy124 yeah she really was lovely. It could be different where you are, but up here it's 2 years :( it seems to vary across the country though! I feel like its a lose lose which is a terrible way to look at it, and I shouldn't look at it like that! I will try and be more positive!!!

I have just downloaded Premom and bought some easy@home OPKs to try this month, thank you for making me aware of it! I use Femometer but it alsways moves the days about depending on when my period comes. Unless i do OPKs and BBT. So i will compare with Premom this month! I have been using CB opks too with the smiley faces, i think ill do them and premom this month to compare that also!! Ive tried a few different apps, and then just kept the Femometer one.

I'm sorry to hear you have had a wobble :( it happens to us all! Thats so very annoying no one can help you with SA! What are the clinic saying about it, are they waiting for a referral from the GP? Keep chasing them up!

It could be worth a try! I have read good things! I did think about it, but I have a funny feeling my OH might say the same, plenty people manage without, and he will just thinking im trying something new for the sake of it! But where is the harm in trying!

@fingerscrossed91 aww don't worry, i said i was going to be positive and then had a meltdown that day! Put the bad days behind you, don't be too hard on yourself, we can't help the way we feel. Its such a hard, worrying and lonely journey at times. Hopefully ovulation day will be here before you know it!

I am glad your bridesmaids took your feelings into consideration, I can imagine it was still very hard for you though :( don't feel bad about how you feel, its totally normal and i have read SO many people say the same thing, and I feel the same.

Ugh my OH can be the same, I can tell he thinks i stress too much, they really don't think about it as much as we do, and it's our bodies! Sometimes they just can't say the right thing, when we just want them to say it's ok to feel sad and upset, and just give us a hug! Men! Sending a big virtual one

So I got my letter through yesterday and called today, I am booked in for August 19th and I'll get a call from consultant day before. No DTD before hand, but fingers crossed it will be a few days before ovulation and i can try after, and if not well that month is out! They did have 5th August available but if i took that it would mean the whole of July out as AF would be due anywhere from end of first week/start of second week August. Confusing when cycles vary but i found a good site that could predict and show different cycle ranges, and 19th should be fine. I hope so anyway as if not, and I had to change, it would likely be another 2 month wait seeing as they are doing August appointments now in June! Until then, just need to keep trying!

I am enjoying yoga, and trying to keep up the meditation. When do you go for acupuncture? xxxx

@HJen22 that's good your consultant was really nice, things like that really make a difference when it comes to medical appointments. I'm really hoping you'll get the all clear but it's also kind of a scary thought that you'll be told to go away and keep trying? I really thought even if unexplained after a year you'd still get some help? Yikes now I'm panicking!

Even though my period came early the day stayed the same in my apps - I use 3 now! Fertility friend and premom seem to get it bang on, femometer seems to completely disregard opks and just use temp. So sometimes it pins my ov day before I've even had my surge. So stupid. Which app do you use?

Glad AF is coming to an end for you, always good to get her out of the way! How are you feeling? I'm currently cd 9 and been having a wobble today. No one can seem to help us about the SA referral and it's stressing me out. Don't understand how hard it is to type something into a computer and check. OH says he'll try ringing again tomorrow

That's lovely that you have a great relationship with your partner's daughter, something to look forward to in August! 🥰

I was thinking about conceive plus this cycle but I'm hesitating. I used pre-seed one month and went to the doc thinking it had given me a yeast infection. Turns out it wasn't but it didn't agree with me anyway. Don't let that put you off though, I'm usually quite sensitive to things and definitely in the minority! Was just wondering if conceive plus would be any better but don't want to risk messing up another cycle. I just get so tempted when people say 'oh I used it the cycle I fell pregnant'. Then I also remind myself that the human race got this far without fertility lube! xx