Month 12, 6 DPO, fed up and loosing hope

Thank you both, just feeling so rubbish. I was so convinced this weekend for the first time ever so I can't quite believe it. Trying to remind myself it'll be time to try again before I know it and I'll be feeling different.

On the plus side SA all done dusted. Results should be in about 10 days.

@HJen22 I'm sorry it wasn't your month either hun. But glad to hear you've already got AF behind you and are looking ahead to this month. Fingers crossed it doesn't interrupt your holiday! Is it next week you go?

I would maybe ask the clinic about 21 day bloods when you go next month, they may be planning to do more thorough bloods than the GP would anyway? Like you say you're regular so I don't think there's any issue of whether you're actually ovulating but it's always nice to be doubly sure isn't it!

@fingerscrossed91 Symptoms or a lack of is really nothing to go by, you've got every chance! I wish you all the luck testing this weekend! Glad your bloods are out of the way, will the doctor phone you with the results or do you have to make an appointment? And a girlie weekend sounds lovely, are you doing spa things or anything like that? No plans for me, just counting down the days until I can go home and see my family and friends in August.

It really is nuts that all restrictions have been lifted here with covid rates going up. Makes me wonder what was the point of everything so far to just throw it all away!

@suzy124 I'm sorry it wasn't your month 😔 I was pretty miserable all last week and when AF arrived, it's rubbish isn't it.

That's great DH is off for his SA today, I hope it went well and wasn't too stressful for him.

I'm doing better after a nice sunny weekend that reminded me I should be grateful for what I have and not just thinking about what I want / don't have. Shame I can't remember that all of the time though! Easier said than done! I'm cycle day 5, started OPKs today as normally ovulate anywhere between day 10 onwards! Im hoping it's sooner rather than later so I don't have to worry about DTD when away with my family 😂🙈

@fingerscrossed91 I know it's crazy isn't it! We're still wearing masks up here; just back from getting my second vaccine. I hope those you know with Covid are doing ok! I def know more people recently than before!

You're not out til AF arrives! So fingers crossed! A girlie weekend sounds great and will def be a nice distraction from the life of TTC.

That's great you're had your bloods; I really want my day21 done as well as I haven't and I'd like them to just check. I think as I have regular cycles the fertility dr didn't say anything about it but I'm going to ask next month when I'm in for my hycosy. Feel like it should have been checked in the first instance, but now the clinic is dealing with me I guess I shouldn't ask my GP?
This is cycle 18 now though! Xx

Hi ladies, sorry I've taken so long to respond. Was just in the headspace of not wanting to think about fertility at all last week, and then this weekend I started to get convinced it had worked this month as was having my longest cycle yet. Alas it wasn't to be so cd1 for me here. Had a good cry this morning to get it out of my system but I think this is the most gutted I've felt so far. DP is going for his SA today, it's come round surprisingly quick. How are you all doing and cd are you now?

I'm really sorry to hear there's been more pregnancy announcements, it really is so painful but just keep in mind it will be all of us very soon xx

Thank you ladies, I know lots of us feel this way but it's just not something you ever imagine feeling is it :( before we started TTC i'd never have felt this way. Guilt of feeling this way is just another horrible emotion to deal with! I am hoping its just the initial news thats got me feeling this way. In the last 18months I have had lots of friends had babies / become pregnant so it's nothing new. Think its more the work aspect worrying me as well! Of having to do two jobs, my boss being mega annoyed when i do finally fall pregnant etc! But that's all in the future and I know I should live in the now!!

That is so exciting about your sister, and Yeah I know what you mean, family is just different somehow isn't it. I hope she is doing ok and has as smooth a birth as possible!! I bet you can't wait for those first cuddles!

@Lynne425 Yay happy BD! I am sure you will fit some time in over the week, and as they say, only takes once! I am sorry to hear your work is stressful, just isn't what you need is it!!

@fingerscrossed91 that's great you have been chilled, its nice to have a more relaxed cycle now and again isnt it! I did that last month so this month did BBT and OPKs.

Nope no symptoms out of the ordinary i don't think, I have been trying my hardest not to symptom spot! Easier said than done! Usual tired and emotional! Also think im a bit bunged up with a cough due to hayfever. Did a covid test last week just to check and phew thankfully it was negative!

Are all you ladies down in England? We are behind with the levels here in Scotland, its hoped we will go to level 0 next week although rates are bad just now! So who knows. Can't really keep up! xxx

Hey @HJen22
What your feeling is natural!! Only a few weeks ago a friend of mine had a baby girl - I should have been happy but all I thought was 'of course you've had a baby girl'!! We got engaged and married at the same time so think that's why I was a bit bitter!!

My sisters just went into labour - I was worried I'd feel the same but so far it's pure excitement and also worry for her!!

Im CD12 now so in the baby dancing time 😂🙈 however somehow I feel it's not gonna be this month as both me and DH are quite stressed work wise but hey we can only try.

Hopefully it's not AF for you and just some pregnancy hormonal symptoms your feeling xx

Hope you ladies are doing good, what cycle day are we all on now? My AF is due tomorrow, I had hopes it wasn't going to arrive as my BBT has remained high, but it dropped today :(

Had a terrible day yesterday, hormones probably played a part too with AF due. My friend from work (who i sit right across from when in the office) told me she was expecting yesterday. I had a massive feeling she was and wasn't shocked when she told me. So so happy for her, chatted away and then I burst into tears when we came off the call. I feel so awful for being upset at someones happy news, and I know she's feel terrible if she knew how i felt. Its such a horrible thing to feel! Now i am worried about if it ever does happen for me and my bosses reaction to the both of us! Ever feel like you're just behind everyone? She's 5 years younger than me, engaged and now pregnant. I know comparing yourself to others is a bad idea, but I sometimes just can't help it. I am really hoping my mood gets better today, going to take a half day off work tomorrow and see my Mum and Dad and they will cheer me up.

Sorry for the debbie downer post, I am so annoyed as well as I had been doing better than usual this month, lots of meditation, yoga and not stressing. One way or another it always happens though :(

I really hope you ladies are feeling more positive, and everyone had a nice weekend! I am so glad to hear you were in a different headspace @fingerscrossed91 when your friend told you about her pregnancy, that can't have been easy.

xxx

@suzy124 I know I'm lucky it's not bad, I sometimes get a bit on day one but that's all really. I just moan and eat chocolate 😂 oh I'm sorry 😞 it really does hurt doesn't it. I've been trying a new meditation, the app is called evoke it's good if you like that sort of thing. Again reiterates the "if not this cycle, another". Our BFPs will come ❤️

Yeah I had said to the GP and the consultant and they didn't seem overly worried as I do have a regular cycle. The consultant did ask if I thought they were getting shorter and sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't! You are right, I can speak to them in august. I'd like 21 day bloods done too if I can as I've never had that.

Oh I'm sorry 😔 the amount we do, its hard to relate to our OHs when they seem so laid back isn't it. I'd just try and talk to him and say you know, it's just a little thing you'd really like him to try with. I just bought coQ10 yesterday snd Evening primrose oil to try next month! And some of the Bach's rescue remedy spray to chill me out. I felt myself getting a bit down yesterday but I met my friend in the evening and that cheered me up. OH and I have been ok, I gave him a rest after ovulation was confirmed. Just as well, the puppy stood on his face and eye at the weekend and he's had such a sore eye so not sure he'd have managed much DTD anyway 😂😂😂

What's on this weekend ladies? Xx

@HJen22 you're lucky not to get the cramps! Honestly with the cycle I've had I don't really know when AF is expected, I'm guessing around the same time as you but my temp was low this morning and I already feel like she's on her way. Sore boobs have started too. Feeling pretty low today as seen so many getting their BFPs recently

Honestly I think your cycle length is fine but you could always ask them in August for reassurance. Has your GP said anything about it? From the NHS website anything between 21 and 35 days is 'normal' so try not to worry

OH and I have been fighting a bit again. I have him on vitamins but I know he doesn't want to take them and it's causing arguments when he forgets. I don't feel I'm asking for much but think for my own sanity I'll have to give up trying on that. How are things with you guys? X

@Lynne425 yeah we tried 5 days in a row the other month and it didn't happen 😔 they save every second day is plenty, I know it's hard to not want to try even more though!

Aw that's exciting, I have two nephews who are 3 and a half and 1 and a half that I adore. I am dying to give them their first cousin 🥰 the eldest one asked my sister for a sister the other day hahaha! She was like no way!

That's great about your elder sisters house too, lots of celebrating to be had! And that's nice you can have a wee champers with her!

Xx

@HJen22
Since March I ovulate around CD12/13 so basically plan to DTD every second day or so as last two months we tried every night which obviously isn't working lol 😂

Yeah she's having a wee boy so my first nephew!! It's all soo exciting!

My other sister has just got her offer accepted on her first home this week too so celebrations all round.

Least I can have a little 🥂🍾 with her at the weekend!!xx

@Lynne425 Hi! I hope the week is quieting down for you now, and almost the weekend!

My periods have become even lighter than before too! Why can't our bodies just be simple. That's good though that the OPKs have been showing ovulation though! When are you due to ovulate this month? Everything crossed for you!

I would still contact the Dr. No harm in speaking to them, and to be honest, it can be a bit slow. I first had bloods done in March and didn't have the first fertility clinic until June and then my internal scan and HyCosy August. Different everywhere and it could have been worse but everything is such a waiting game.

Oh that's lovely, does she know what she is having? Will this be your first niece / nephew? Xx

Hey All
Sorry for the quietness - had an absolute nightmare of a week at work!

So AF arrived but it was soo light it's strange!! My cycle is now 27 days since the miscarriage but using OPKs last few months show ovulation so hopefully all is ok?!

Was going to contact Dr as been trying for a year now technically but I don't know if they'll say it's not been a year as I was pregnant at some point?

So CD7 for me...... let's see what this month brings!

My sister is due her baby any day so that will keep my mind off things im sure x

@suzy124 I know it's very strange. I used to get sore knees on and off all the time before, I don't know if I just now link it to the time of month or if it's just random! Overthinking haha but they just feel sore to bend! I don't tend to get bad cramps or anything. I know it's so weird isn't it! AF is expected next Wednesday; what about you?

Hopefully you'll hear back soon! It was a few months til we had our call but getting on the list was pretty quick. You could even call the clinic just to make sure they've received your referral from the GP? I've called mine numerous times and I bet they are so used to it!

I'm not sure why I started googling it to be honest! I think I read somewhere someone saying a 24/25 day cycle was too short.

Yeah I hummed and hayed about getting mine but then AF came and I had done some research so just went ahead. How are things with your OH just now? Xx

@HJen22 I know it's so easy to count yourself out but you just never know! Sore knees is an interesting symptom, I sometimes get sore boobs but not every month and then just the usual cramps a day or two before. I find it weird how some months I can be in agony and some it's like I don't feel anything at all. And before ttc never noticed a single thing but the cramps! When is AF expected? Got my fingers crossed for you 🤞

Thank you, hope I hear soon too but doctor said it would be a couple of months

Oh no! No more googling! What's got you worried about that?

No vaccine for me yet 😳 decided my mental state was fragile enough atm without possibly having my cycles messed up! I will get it eventually x

@suzy124 yeah I think I might just disable Facebook. I unfollowed a heap of people on Instagram so it's not too bad as it's only those I want to see now 😂

Yeah I'll not test until late, I don't think this month is the month even after me staying calm and my positivity! I have sore knees and for some weird reason I tend to always get that on the run up to AF. Really really trying hard to remind myself it will happen, just maybe not this month.

Oh men haha! Yeah there's something like not two days before but no longer than 7 days! Can't quite remember but it should be in his pdfs! I hope you get something through from your fertility clinic soon too!

I've freaked myself out today reading about short follicular phases, bad idea! But just back a lovely lunch with my parents and going to do some yoga this afternoon (in between work haha)

Just got my letter through for my second vaccination soon so at least that will be done and out of the way. Have you ladies had yours?

Xxx

@HJen22 it really does. I haven't peeped at facebook once in months, I was finding it quite boring anyway. Instagram is definitely harder not to look at!

It's natural to notice all the symptoms in the 2ww, but it's helpful not to obsess over it or google. They are just so misleading and then it's time wasted anyway! I take it you won't be testing again this month unless late? Not long to go now 😊

Haha I remember that mantra from the yoga! I'm glad it's helping you feel more calm, there really is nothing worse than being caught up in the depressed feelings around ttc.

Actually after reading what you said I asked OH if the clinic has given him any instructions, as I think I remember reading you're not supposed to dtd for a few days before. He said they've e-mailed him some pdfs but he hasn't looked - honestly, Men!

@fingerscrossed91 aw it's great to hear you're feeling a bit better and that the weekend in Brighton helped! Are you south England? I was actually in Brighton a few weeks ago myself, just a day trip though. Got caught in the heaviest rain ever with only shorts and t-shirt and about a mile walk back to the car 😂

Strange about the spotting, have you had the vaccine recently? Just wondering if it could be related.

@Lynne425 how are you doing?

@fingerscrossed91 that sounds so lovely! Nice weekend away is sometimes just what you need!

Yeah I'm still working from home; I'm up in Scotland so we're a few weeks behind in planned level 0. My work have said a staggered return from the 17th august. I was hoping for some flexibility with both office and home working but I don't think it's going to be the case! What about you? I keep telling myself hopefully it won't be too long before I need some time off 👶🏼

I'm cycle day 17 and ovulation was day 10 according to my OPKs and BBT. I downloaded Premom this month as well as the app I normally use and they both have the same day which is good.

A spa will be lovely! And a massage will I'm sure help relax you, some me time and self care is so important. I had a massage my sister got for me the other month and it was lovely. I'm thinking about booking another one or a facial or something as a treat to myself haha xxx

@fingerscrossed91 aw amazing! That sounds like lots of fun! What all did you do? And how was the weather? I went there years ago for a henny and I would love to go back!! So glad to hear you had a nice weekend! Not so good you have the cold now though, that's rubbish! I hope it goes away soon! And glad its not covid!! Are you working from home?

Oh what cycle day are you? That's great, its so nice to have good days isn't it. I wish we could make every day a good one! Trying to stay positive is key! I am doing good thanks, I am much the same, trying to stay positive and just relax and chill out. I have made plans to see my parents for lunch tomorrow and my friend on Thursday so trying to keep busy. It's so easy to get into a bit of a rut of doing nothing and then I think I overthink! Need to keep me and my mind busy!

xxx

@suzy124 same, it just gets a bit too much doesn't it! I go on every now and again for a snoop but I might actually just deactivate it. I still have instagram but go on it no where near as much. Sometimes you just have to do these things for yourself.

I am 7DPO. Going to try my very hardest not to symptom spot this month, she says every month!! You may have a totally normal LP but just a slightly longer cycle cos of late ovulation, the month i had the 35 day cycle it but my ovulation date as CD23! Stress is the worst isn't it, you try not to stress and then the months you think you haven't, you go and get a messed up cycle or something!

Yeah just try and keep busy, find distractions and i have been repeating the mantra "i trust that my baby will come to me" which sounds crazy but i think its helping me, the fertility yoga says it and is all about not just focusing on this cycle, and this month, but the present.

Hopefully, and one thing done and out of the way. Have you received anything from your local fertility clinic yet? Hopefully you do soon!! We got a questionnaire (by questionnaire i mean it was one page each and it was literally mostly name, address etc) through quite quick after the initial referral from the GP.

xxx

@HJen22 I took myself off Facebook too as I couldn't handle another announcement no matter who it was from! Don't miss it at all.

How many dpo are you? Hope the 2ww is going quickly for you. Glad the yoga and mediation is helping. My cycles are 30days max, once it was 31 but that was very unusual and I think brought on by stress. That's how I know it'll be short, just can't see it going past 30!

Yeah the low feelings are hard to shift. As soon as I start having them I'm now trying to distract myself quickly and it's helping to some extent. Not easy at all tho

I'm sure the Hycosy will be fine. I've read it's not too bad either so I'm sure it's just one of those things that sounds scarier than it is! Xx